A Mad Knight and a Silver Jetii

[Muad Dib]

He sat cross legged in the state room assigned to him. The metallic hued walls vibrated slightly add the lambda class shuttle hustled through hyper space en route to it's destination. The harsh yellow light emanating from the fluorescent tubes affixed along the ceiling cast an old yellow glow upon the man meditating quietly.

He sat unmoving, save for the gentle rise and fall of his chest from each slow, measured breath. Bare, except for the dark brown trousers, he sat all but motionless. Eyes closed, forearms resting lightly upon thighs, the man looked at peace. But he was anything but at peace.

Scars crisscrossed his body, mementos of wars fought, battles survived, foes defeated, allies lost. His body was a road map of his life. A life dedicated to pain. The slight twitch to the corner of his mouth at the thought was the only flicker of movement breaking the serenity on the exterior of the man. Shaggy, dark brown hair fell to his shoulders. Dark beard adorned a weathered face. A scar shaped like an upside down Y stood over his left eyebrow, a parallel line under the same eye was another scar. Bright blue sith runes ran from left elbow to the tips of the fingertips upon his left hand. A scar ran from the elbow to the wrist of his right hand. A slight tightening of both hands showed the tension building in the corded muscles of his shoulders.

But even sitting in apparent meditation, a seemingly endless stillness and silence of inaction, the man radiated danger. Any sentient being who looked upon his body would feel a shiver of fear. How a single being could take that much punishment was almost out of the realm of understanding. The hard lines of his face as well as the defined muscle structure of his body spoke of a man in peak physical condition. A warrior who looked upon the man's visage would feel the adrenaline rush combined with the cold tingle of fear knowing that this man would not stop with any physical pain. This man would not cease until he was dead. And according the the battle scars, this man does not die easily.

His physical appearance was a testament to who and what the man was, but his body was not the only sign of what kind of man he was. He radiated an aura in the force as only those powerful with the force did. Unlike the Jedi who were calm and collected or the sith who were filled with anger and hatred this man was more. And that made him even the more frightening for it. Aye, anger and rage swirled within, but so did loss, remorse, and fear. Yes fear. The fear could saturate another immobilizing them. But it wasn't a simple emotion. There fear ranged from many sources. Fear of loss was there. But the main source of the man's fear was of himself. He feared what was within, geared there man he was born as, the man he had become, the man he was destined to be. Being a soldier, warrior, cold blooded killer, monster, and madman did not make him afraid. The knowledge of all the atrocities and evils he had done did not fill him with fear. It was what he was capable of, what he had yet to do that filled him with fear.

The bulkheads shook lightly as the shuttle exited hyperspace.

Finally his eyes opened. The brightly glowing blue orbs radiated with an inner fire that was more frightening and unsettling then everything else. The madness within him shone brightly from his sockets, a madness he fully embraced.

Rising slowly he padded silently to his bunk to dress. Armored boots pulled on, a tan, long sleeved tunic went over his head. He paused looking at his armor and weapons and shook his head lightly. He did not wish to be looked at as a threat upon arriving. So taking his pack her loaded his beskar'gam and weapons into it gently. Yet he paused, choosing to leave three weapons he would carry on his person as well as his gauntlets.

Picking up his straight sword he slung it over his back before pulling on the dark brown jacket, ensuring the handle of the sword slid through the hole over his right shoulder and within easy access. The curved skinning knife, a replacement for one lost in battle and gift by a vod, was secured on his left hip. The final weapon was picked up, a pitted, silver cylinder and placed in it's sheath at the small of his back. Rolling up the sleeves of tunic and jacket the man pulled on the gauntlets before letting both sleeves gal back over them.

Turning he swung the pack into his left shoulder and moved to the door, pausing only long enough to raise the hood over his head, hiding his features save for the glowing eyes. Leaving the room he went the the hold feeling the ship as it entered the atmosphere. Several beings stood waiting to disembark but as he entered they group skid to one side leaving the hooded man standing solitarily as the shuttle settled on the landing pad.

The ramp lowered with a quiet hiss of hydraulics and the group scurried off heading for the temple looming before them.

With a wry chuckle the Mad Knight of Manda'yaim walked off the shuttle, down the ramp, and onto the planet Voss which the Silver Jedi called home.

[member="Coci Heavenshield"]

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

It had been several years since Ziost, and the meeting of the Silver Jedi and the Mandalorians there after. They had gathered for talks of a treaty and possible continuation of the Push, at the time she was not in favour of it, no. They had had a bad loss and was hurting from it, and there was no clear head in the room that day. What surprised her the most, was the attitude of the Jedi baying for blood which was so against their mandate, a call for further war but she knew. Coci knew it would amount to nothing, time would refresh their minds and set a calm on their souls once more. Patience is a Jedi virtue most will deem weak. But, in the long run it will win the day.

The two groups remain allies and that is good, the two groups had been true to their word.

Coci had met a Mandalorian Knight that day, she had sensed him in the room, the shroud of the darkside over him and not covered. In fact he wore it without apology and when she approached the man, with suspicion of course, which was natural in her as she only wants to protect those that she loves, he had stood his ground and instead of engaging her, he talked. The man was [member="Muad Dib"], he had opened to her a little, spoke of his issues and madness. She had sense it too, this turbulence within him, twisting him into doing who knew what, but there was also a searching for help. And Coci offered it to him.

Years had gone by and nothing, not a word from this man .. until now.

She stood on the landing pad, and watched as the ship descended, the wind kicking up around her playing with the hem of her robes and her hair. The Rangers had been skeptical about this meeting and had insisted that they be present for the arrive but Coci dismissed them, and stood alone and waited.

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[member="Muad Dib"]​

 

[Muad Dib]

He paused after he stepped off the ramp. The place reverberated in the force. A small hiss of pain escaped from clenched teeth as the aura of light emanating from the woman waiting reached him. He recognized both her face and her presence as [member="Coci Heavenshield"] the woman who, a few years back, offered assistance to the conundrum plaguing the Mad Knight. The man breathed in slowly taking in the pain and discomfort and making it part of him as he had always done.

Several slow strides closed the gap between them until he stopped a few paces away. With a grace and smooth motion he bowed, right leg swinging out, in a short bow of Adumari origins. Raising straight the man's glowing eyes never left the form of Coci. The man before her was filled with contradictions. A man of violence and a man of refinement. A man of rage, anger, and hate whilst still a man with embers of kindness, caring, and even love. A man who had fully embraced being a monster and yet able to play savior.

His gauntlet hands slowly raised up to pull the hood away from his face before slowly lowering to hook thumbs into the belt at his waist.

"It has been awhile m'lady jetii."

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

It is the eyes of the man one noticed first. The twisting contradictions within him second, this would be most disconcerting to anyone that had never experienced such things in a person before, but for her, it was not the first. Eyes can reveal much about a person in general circumstances, but the few she had met in the past with eyes that are filled with their soul it can be deceptive. Like that of the cover of a book. Her brother-in-law was one such person that would not allow his truth through them, yet his eyes would tell of his core of power but that was all. He permitted nothing else unless he wanted it. Was this the same for the man in front of her? most likely and with good reason.

Coci returned the bow of respect to the Knight, he had changed very little since their first meeting, at least physically so, but this sudden call to meet had heralded a change and what that would be was yet to be determine. "It is good to see you well, Knight Dib. It has been a long time. I do hope your journey to Voss was a pleasant one".

She stood to stand side on and raised her arm, a gesture for him to walk along side her and she would guide him to a more pleasant place to speak. No rooms of conference this time, but the gardens of the Silver Temple, to walk among the peach trees no in bloom with the softest of pink blossom. As they left the land pad and strode across the lawns, Coci lead him to the gate that would open onto the garden and pushed it open.

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"I love this place", she said as they entered, the living force is strong here. The tune of nature singing to the wind would be heard if his mind was open to receive it, it would be a sense of calm within the force, no darkness or extreme light, but simply the force in it pure sense, that energy field that runs through everything from one living thing to the next, informing itself and those that 'listen', to it presence. "You have not come all this way to walk with me through the blossoms, but I am here to help you if this is what you have come to seek".

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[member="Muad Dib"]​

 

[Muad Dib]

"Ah, but to walk in a beautiful place with a beautiful woman, what more can a man aspire to?"

He grinned as he walked along beside her. The force was strong here in the garden. Slipping away he walked to a tree and placed his hands along the trunk. He felt the neutrality of the force. It fed and nourished his tattered soul. But he knew it would not last. It never did. Even on Tython he could not find balance, he could not find and maintain a sense of peace. He was ever denied.

Dropping his hands he turned from the tree and faced the Silver Master. One gauntleted hand slipped to there small if his back and pulled free the cylinder resting in it's sheath. Holding it in his right palm before him brought back memories of it's creation and usage. Born and forged in darkness out was the weapon of a sith. Created for a single purpose: Chaos. And it had served him well.

Igniting the blade he started at the blue length finding the humor that most saw it and assumed it was a Jedi's weapon. The irony of the multitude of Jedi sent to be one with the force through his usage of the weapon was not lost on him. Extinguishing the blade he held the weapon loosely.

"I need ... Assistance. Most beings struggle to find their purpose, their path in this life. Always questioning who they are. Needing an affirmation of their identity from external sources. They need to be who they are destined to be. They want to fulfill their calling. They desire, no, they crave to have that which makes them whole."

He sighed as he slid the cylinder back into it's sheath at the small of his back and dropped to one knee. Reaching out her grasped a handful of fallen petals. Soft and still vibrant in color, even Muad could admit to their beauty. The madman within whispered sweet nothings in his ear. To take the power here for himself. To let the darkness within to taint this place of soft reverie. The Mad Knight shook his head ruefully.

"I know who I am, what I am. I am a monster. I have killed family and friends, betrayed brothers, abandoned my only love. I have murdered innocents, slaughtered children. I have razed cities and over thrown planets. I am a monster."

He slowly clasped his armored fingers until the petals leaked it's fluid from his fist. Rising he dropped the remains and looked at [member="Coci Heavenshield"] . Slowly he dropped some of his barriers letting his forever signature shine. A cyclone of darkness swirled around him, unseen by the naked eye. Flashes of red and blue splintered the shadows. Anger, hate, and loss filled him. But within the aura were flickers of Fear ... and of a childlike innocence.

"I am the culmination of my birth and my choices. I will never walk the path of a Jedi, but neither will I ever be sith ... I walk a separate path. I am a monster, by choice and birth. It is who I am. But I am mando'ad too. The place I walk now is filled with violence and action, but there bonds of brotherhood have given me ... Conflicts. I must temper myself, tame myself, or I shall betray all and become the monster I am. I have walked the streets of Keldabe and had to fight urges of slaughter. I have had dinner at restaurants and wanted to randomly burn people to death. I have been in bars and wanted to torment and torture it's patrons. I am succumbing to my nature."

He rose and walked several paces away, back turned as he strove against his feelings of wanton destruction. His blue eyes blazed as he fought his instincts.

"In nature there are patterns. Life and death, hunter and prey. I am not natural, for I want death for death's sake. I want to hunt for fun, for personal pleasure. Some, in the same situation, would say they are losing themselves to the darkness. Not me. I'm finding myself in the darkness ... And ... it frightens me."

He stood facing away. The Mad Knight feared not battle nor death. But he feared his nature, what he would become if he accepted the stirring in his blood, the whispers in his mind, the instincts raging for release. He feared himself.

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

She stopped them walking along the path as Maud began to speak of why he had come to seek her out. Every living being of thought has conflicts within them, it is this along side many things that create a sentient being. By nature we are all born with the innate ability to both darkness and light, but it is by choice that turns your path. The reasons for the choices presented can be many and varied, whether it was by design or a horrible upbringing or events out of once control put upon people by others, but there comes a time in each persons life when they choose. They choose to continue it, or change.

"There is always choice. I don't believe in monsters, I believe that people choose to be what they are. This might appear to you to be a simple approached to life, or and that much and many things can and will inform upon ones life pushing them in a certain direction. And this true to a point. And that point comes with the realisation that past events can no longer be 'blamed' for ones actions, that come in the future. That point, turns the events in ones life back on them, no one else is at fault or to blame but yourself. When this realisation does come, you stand at the cross roads and make a decision, one that you and you alone own".

"If you have come to me, to seek a 'change' in yourself, that is good. And I will do my best to help you, but since you have declared actions in the past that are what I would deem criminal then they cannot be overlooked. Unless you have already served a penitence for them and now wish to further your path to a redemption of your soul and the crimes?".

"I sense the conflict within you, there is more to it then that I understand this. So if I can assist to stop further actions that your 'monster' inside you from taking control and is quelled I need to work within you and your mind. Are you prepared to face this monster?". She senses that Muad is full of fear, most of it coming within his own mind and unnatural in the sense it is not rational. Rational fear is healthy, an ill mind is not.

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[member="Muad Dib"]​

 

[Muad Dib]

He listened with his back to the Jedi Master. Two fingers of his gauntleted hand tapped a half forgotten rhythm as her words washed over him. Change, true change ... It was a foreign concept to the man glowing eyes looked up to the heavens as he pondered her words. Conflict raged in his mind. Her words held a ring of truth, truth be could not deny. Truth he would not deny any longer. Softly he spoke as he began to remove his gauntlets.

"I am conflict. It consumes me. Long have I ever followed it's whispers. Long have I acted upon the beast that takes breath beneath my chest. I have journeyed and sought peace. And yet it eludes my grasp. Like a whisper of smoke upon an evening wind. It lingers just long enough for you to know of it's existence and then it's gone, forever gone."

He dropped the gauntlets on the ground at his feet. A weary sigh escaped as his head dropped. Unbuckling his belt he key it fall with it's sheaths carrying his lightsaber and the curved shining knife created from calcified mythosaur bone by his vod [member="Ijaat Mereel"] .

"I have tried to find peace in the blood of my enemies, innocent and guilty alike, and it has been in vain. The Sorcerers of Tund turned my away. I am imbalance and Tython rejected me. I have sought refuge and solace in solitude and have been denied. My blood brother strived to purify me with the subjugation to the Phobis device, and my conflict would not be tamed. I do not know peace. The very word feels foreign on my lips."

Removing the jacket he held it before him almost as a talisman. The old, worn, leather jacket had been with him for add long as he could remember. A witness to all he was. Dropping it it fell gently over his discarded weapons. All that remained was the force imbued straight sword fashioned in the depths of Tython at the forge. Pulling it from his back he held it a moment almost caressing the handle. Then that too fell from limp hands to land heavily on his old jacket.

Turning his head he glanced over his shoulder to [member="Coci Heavenshield"] , eyes blazing in the setting sun. The conflict within could be seen there. Pain, anguish, rage ... They battled in the windows of Muad's soul.

"I do not know what help I shall truly find here ... But I am willing ... If you are ..."

Turning fully he faced the Silver Jedi in a stance half defiant and half a vulnerable plea for help. Slowly he drifted to his knees and rested his palms on his thighs as his head drooped forward until his eyes were only crescent orbs. Scars marked the bare arms as his tunic's sleeves were still rolled up from removing his gauntlets. The sith runes covering house left arm from elbow to fingertips glowed an iridescent blue to the beat of his heart.

"I have crimes, many crimes that I must atone for ... Aye. Many crimes. And you will see them if you venture within my mind. I must warn you, the madness in me has killed many who sought to break into my mind and were over whelmed. Even my first master, Darth Yamato, feared to probe too deeply, for he feared what was within."

He tried to breath slowly, to calm his racing heart. His body cried in defiance at his actions of allowing himself to be vulnerable. And yet the man knew he was nearing the end of his ability you stave off the darkness, that he was losing the conflict, that he was almost at the point of no return. And he was afraid.

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

She watched every movement he made, with every piece of equipment and dress dropped to a pile on the ground. She did not watch out of suspicion or possible threat from him, but study him. Coci listened to every word he spoke as well, taking them all in to find a way to his being, his essence to give her a clue to help. The seeking of peace of mind he sort was something she might be able to help with but it would be a hard road on which they would both thread and a dangerous one at that. But she does not slink away from danger, never has and not about to start now.

As his blazing eyes met her's once more, "Peace, in any form is a journey we take to achieve but never do". She does not consider peace a lie like so many believe it to be, but it is one that is only truly obtained in death. And even then, not for all. "But it is the journey that leads us ever closer that we must embark on and in so doing we shall find calm and hope. I am sure you would have heard the old Jedi Code line of, There is no emotion, there is peace? and I am equally sure you understand it as well, not like those that do not think on the words and what they might mean, who believe we the Jedi, rid emotions from our very souls and become nothing in the process, no. It is the control of emotions in order to control our actions and when we do act, it is informed".

"I do not have the problem of instability you do, but Jedi fight each and every day for this control because we are but sentient beings like the rest and so we have failings and 'demons' we must face as well. Those that think we do not, are foolish whether those that think this are Sith or Jedi alike".

His master may have feared entering a place of fear from him, but she is not afraid. In fact the battle of minds is one skill she is very powerful in and so because of this, she believes firmly in her own abilities and the force to protect and guide her. "The begins of this will be determined by you, but beware this will not be easy not only for me but for you as well, so when you are ready we shall begin". If he needed time to consider his options or needed time to prepare, it would be given.

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[member="Muad Dib"]​