Within the darkness, Revna drifted.
At some point, she had lost awareness of herself in near totality; loss of sensation, of her surroundings, the biting chill of the wind, the familiar presence of her Father - even the feeling of her own pulse, or the breath in her lungs. The only thing she didn’t lose track of was her mind - that was still sharp and aware, her thoughts on the verge of being too loud. The darkness persisted, time meaningless…
For one heart stopping moment, Revna thought that maybe something had gone wrong. That she was dead, separated from the world - from her Father. From all that she loved, all that she fought for. A surge of raw fear knifed its way into her awareness, and threatened to fill her mind and consume it.
Revna studied that emotion, its rawness, its intensity. How often had she felt fear like that over the course of her life? And what had happened at the end of that fear?
She found that she still remained, scarred but still alive. Stronger, wiser. Fear, which once had held control of her, had been turned into a weapon in her grasp. How often had she turned it upon others, now that she was on her path into the Dark? Fear had not only become a weapon in her hand, but a tool.
The fear of the unknown of her present situation shifted then, and lost its bite. And when it did, the darkness suddenly snapped away, as if someone had flipped on a light switch.
Revna was standing in a garden, the familiar sound of a water fountain reaching her ears. She felt a sensation on her skin - warmth, wind…a gentle breeze that carried the scent of flowers to her. She recognized this place, or at least she recognized the garden and its fountain.
Her most sacred place within her mind - where she often retreated to in order to find the strength to overcome the challenges that awaited her. But she didn’t understand how or why she had come here now, of all times. Normally, she had to meditate and find this place within herself.
She’d done no such thing, and yet here she was.
Cautiously, she turned around in a small circle, looking around herself. The place seemed empty…and yet, she felt as if something, or someone, was watching her.
Then she heard humming, a sweet and melodic sound that drew her attention behind her. There, she saw a figure kneeling on the ground, tending to a garden bed. A female figure, judging by the shape of the body, though their back was turned to her.
I had just been looking at that spot…how did I not see them there?
“Hello?” Revna heard herself say to the other person. They didn’t seem to hear her, or if they had - didn’t care that she had said anything at all. So she approached the figure who was working in the garden, the scent of turned earth reaching her senses as she drew closer. “Uh, hello? Can you hear me?”
“Of course I can. You are not exactly quiet, you know.” the other figure said, and Revna frowned. That voice sounded eerily…familiar.
“Oh, uh…sorry for disturbing you. It was not my intention.”
“Wasn’t it? Everywhere you go, you disturb me.”
“Excuse me?”
The figure paused in their work, then rose up on their feet. Revna watched them do so, a frown forming on her face.
That turned to utter shock when the figure turned around to face her.
It was…her.
Except, it wasn’t. Eyes like the stormy sea stared back at her; pale skin, full of life. A face that had smile lines. A face that was decidedly older, and yet younger, at the same time.
“I know you…” Revna murmured.
“I should hope so. I was beginning to think you had forgotten about me - perhaps you already have. Come, sit with me by the water fountain, and we will find out together.”
Revna followed the other figure almost unconsciously, as if drawn towards the seating place against her own accord. She sat down, somewhat facing the other woman. Herself.
Dara.
“Why are you here?” Dara asked her after a moment, and Revna blinked at her for a moment.
“I was hoping you could tell me…I didn’t meditate to get here, to this place.”
“Strange that you would still come here. This is a place of peace, of serenity, of hope and life. You come here to escape your emotions, you know. To hide away from all that haunts you.” Dara said, her voice soft. She met Revna’s eyes briefly, before turning to look at the beautiful garden.
Revna felt her brow crease again. “No, that is not right. I do not come here to escape anything. I come here to find strength to face what comes my way.”
“You come here to find strength in peace, in serenity. In hope.” Dara said, repeating the same themes as before, a smile curling across her face as she turned to regard Revna once more. “You still hold on to these things. That the struggles in your life will get better. That the galaxy, the world around you, will come to find its rightful place in your reality.” Dara then leaned forward towards Revna just a touch, as if to share a secret. “You still serve that ideal. Everything you do, every breath you take, is to make that happen. Don’t you see, Revna? This is who you are, at your core. The very heart of your being. Not what you parade yourself as out there.”
Revna stared long and hard at the figure before her, but as much as she wanted to deny it - she knew that Dara was right.
“Now you see…don’t you? You separated us, Revna. We were never meant to be separated. We are one and the same, we are perfect together. Whole, healed. That is what you want, isn’t it? To be healed? Cutting me out didn’t set you free, it broke you. You have a chance to repair that now - in this place. At this point in time. I miss you. I miss us. Come back - let us be made whole again.”
“How?”
Dara smiled and reached out to take Revna’s hand in her own. The warmth that Revna felt flowing from Dara and into her was unlike anything she had ever experienced before. It made her ache. The warmth chased the coldness away, like the dawning of the sun’s light chased the chill of night from one’s bones.
“You have to let go, Revna. Let go of your pain. You’ve held onto it for so long, and for what? What did your pain ever give you in return, but more of the same?”
“And what happens if I let it go?”
Dara smiled wider, radiant, gentle. Kind. Motherly, almost. “That which you still chase will no longer be hidden. You will know peace, you will have your serenity. You will touch life, and it will bloom. Like this garden did so long ago.”
“How do I…let go?”
Dara eyed her in silence for a moment, a serious expression coming over her features. “You have to turn your back on yourself, on who you are right now. Leave the Darkness behind, and embrace me. When you do that, we will be reunited, and you will be made whole again.”
Revna sat very still on the duracrete seat by the water fountain, the sound of its trickling and the faint singing of birds the only sound that reached her ears. She felt a tug on her soul, a longing.
No…
A chain.
A tether that bound her that she hadn’t even known existed. It was revealed with such sharp clarity that it almost stole her breath away…
Her lips parted slightly, as if she was about to say something - but no words escaped her. Dara’s eyes stared into her own, their blue depths swirling like the storm turned sea. “Our Mother wouldn’t have wanted us separated -”
“Our mother is dead, she can’t feel or want anything.” Revna replied, her voice sharp. She pulled her hand away from Dara’s and slowly rose to her feet.
“Revna…what is wrong?”
“What is wrong… What is wrong indeed…?”
She turned away from Dara, from herself, and looked at the garden around her. This sacred space she had created for herself. Its beauty, its safety. The place that the part of her she had thought dead, had survived all along. Chaining her to her past, to that which had been lost.
Chaining her to herself.
She suddenly realized what she needed to do - and she shut her eyes for a moment, feeling tears drip down her cheeks. Agony bloomed in Revna’s core. A pain so deep, so pure, that it felt like death.
Dara felt it too, and when she spoke, Revna could hear the raw edge of fear in her voice.
“Revna…? What are you doing? Stop-”
“Thank you, Dara, for showing me the truth about myself. You are right all along.” Revna replied, her voice soft but edged with something dangerous. She turned slowly to face that part of herself, and saw desperation within those blue depths.
“Whatever it is you are thinking…don’t do it, please I am begging you. Let us become whole again, Revna. I need you. I need us.”
“I don’t need you Dara. I haven’t for years, and I certainly don’t need you now. You were a part of me that I cast aside, and yet you still linger at the edges, like a leech.”
“If you kill me, you will die. Do you understand? There will be no coming back from that.”
Killing Dara was a sorely tempting thought, Revna realized. But no…she had something else in mind. This place was where Dara had hid herself all along, right under her nose. Keeping those things alive within Revna’s soul that belonged in a Jedi, not a Sith.
Not a Sith.
"Perhaps we were always meant to die, Dara. Or...you were. I am stronger than you ever were. Though I must thank you - you gave me clarity, and now I know what I must do. So really - this is your doing." Revna scoffed softly, and felt the words that she had memorized and committed to her heart, well up without hesitation. “Peace is a lie, there is only passion.”
A loud CRACK! resounded through the garden, and part of the water fountain split off and fell into the water, crumbling into dust. Dara, in a fit of desperation, scrambled to her feet and rush at her, grabbing at her arm to try and break her train of thought. “NO! YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO US!” Dara shrieked, and Revna only smiled as she turned her back on the part of herself that still lingered, still held on.
“Through passion, I gain strength.”
The rest of the water fountain melted, turning into dust that turned the water in the basin a murky gray color that bled out across the garden garden, seeping into the garden beds themselves. Within Revna, her pain multiplied - as if a part of her was truly dying. She embraced that pain, and Dara’s scream ripped through her mind, threatening to sunder her apart.
“Noooo! Revna pleeeeease!”
Revna shrugged Dara off of her and stepped away, watching coldly how that version of herself crumbled to the ground and began to crawl towards her. How pitiful.
“Through strength, I gain power.”
Black ichor began to rise up through the cracks that were forming in the garden, slipping over the ground like a poisoned wellspring.
“Have mercy! Don’t do this, please! PLEASE! Revna! Would you kill a slave?!” Dara wailed, tears flowing down her cheeks now as she reached for Revna. “What would He think if He knew?!”
That made Revna tilt her head to one side, as she tended to do when something piqued her interest. She knew Dara’s tactic, however; trying to appeal to her sense of morality. She was tempted to respond to Dara, to correct her, but she knew that if she broke the ritual she had commenced, she would do far more harm to herself in the process. She resisted that urge to bite back - and forged ahead.
“...through power, I gain victory.”
The sky above Revna’s head darkened, the sun in the sky being eclipsed by a dark void. Warmth, and light, were drained away, and flowing in to replace it was the chill that Revna had come to know so well. She watched mournfully as the life in the garden, peace and the serenity and the sacred place that she had cultivated, withered before her very eyes.
For a moment, that pain she felt became too much. The growing hollowness of Dara, who was now gasping for air as the black ichor began to rise up over her, made Revna pause for the briefest of moments. She was witnessing her own death, and she knew it in her heart. Dara seemed to notice that moment of hesitation, and tried one last attempt to stop her from sundering this part of herself.
“Revna…it’s not too late…I feel it in you. Your pain. You can…still stop this. I beg you. Please. I am not your chain, I am your freedom. Don’t you understand? The Darkness lies to you. It is all a lie! It will destroy you in the end. It will destroy everything…You will destroy everything in the end!”
“Through victory…my chains are broken.” Revna said, her voice oddly steady, despite the devastation that was occurring around her. She felt her tears well up and run down her cheeks once more, dripping into the blackness that had since come to surround her as well now too.
Her garden…her place of peace, of mental rest. It was disintegrating before her very eyes. Her last tether to a part of her that no longer had a place in her life. Not if she was to move forward on her journey. But even as she whispered the words that with her victory, her chains were broken - she felt only deep loss.
She returned her gaze to Dara, who had been drained and was now an emaciated husk - but a spark of light, of life, still remained in her eyes. A part of her past self, of who she had been, still holding on.
“The Force shall free me.”
With that last utterance, Revna felt her pain reach its peak and she sank down to her knees amidst the ruin that surrounded her. Dara crumbled away in front of her into dust, the black ichor consuming what remained - until all that was left was darkness. And in that darkness, all that Revna could feel was an eternal chill - the emptiness left behind when something precious was lost forever.