Jannik Morlandt
convergence
[Please see this thread for details!]
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Coruscant
2230hrs, Zhellday
The show had almost went off without a hitch. In all honesty, it was something for which he could be grateful these days, that almost and so close, considering the way things had been turning out for him, as they had been for some time. It was ruining him, it was putting his mates at a distance bit by bit, and he’d just started to notice, when they’d declined the invitation to stick around for an ale or two… that had lately been four, or more likely ten. It was all that was left, when the pain pills stopped working, even if it was temporary, despite the fact that it got worse when he drank. The finite numbness was only a trick, but it was preferable to what getting help meant, no matter how much they had in so many indirect words begged him to get help.
They were afraid for him, but worse still, they were becoming afraid of him. At least, that was what he thought he could see. Even De’arin, who had been his friend since shortly after he had arrived on Coruscant at the age of thirteen, was pulling back because no matter how much Jannik feared what was happening to him, no matter how terribly anxious he was about the change that getting help would bring, he feared the prolongement of solitude more. Maybe, they thought, leaving him alone would give him the shove they thought he sorely needed.
But instead he drank, and he drank, until the bartender cut him off and sent him on his way, out into the cool air of Coruscant at night, before he was entirely too far gone to get himself home. The ‘tender had a stake in the well-being of Jannik, too, for the music the young man made had been good for business. A promise to take good care was extracted from the musician with the soft, chestnut curls, and he left, an alcoholized lope in his gait as he went. Of course, it was hard to take care when your mind had other ideas, for not more than two blocks from the cantina did the world light up before his eyes, plunging his mind into a horrifying sight and clamour of violent sound and actions that pulled a blood-curdling scream from his lips, scrambling several steps back, begging frantically in a chorus of ‘no, no, nononon-NOOO… get away, get a-WAYGET…’ before it sent him crumpling to the duracrete in a faint, his head landing hard in seemingly finalizing smack…
...and every eye of the Coruscanti nightlife was on him as he went down. There was an uproar of shock, disturbed chatter, laughter, holopics and video. There was no hiding, now. Though he would not remember it later, he would never forget seeing his face on the holonet for it, and the shame and ostracising that followed.
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Two Days Later
Coruscant Medical Center
Eyes fluttered, though lethargically with heavy eyelids. Consciousness had not been at a premium for over forty-eight hours, and medical staff had checked up on him, continuously, around the clock in that time, the worry over the velocity at which his head had made contact with the duracrete being their primary concern... but so far, all his body had been content to do was sleep. So sleep they had let him, continuing measure of his vitals, and discussing amongst themselves what they had seen and heard from the multitude of media footage gathered by onlookers. There were those that wished to speak with him, about what had happened that night - CSF and psychiatric personnel amongst them - and they were chomping at the bit for the moment he would awake.
But neither of those was the first that came to him when he finally came to, when his eyes managed to fully open, and the groggy groan that followed gained the attention of the nurse that was just about to leave the room, her rounds finished. She did not waste time in telling... whoever it was that 'the handsome young man with the curls' was awake. Jannik was not yet cognizant enough to recognize what was going on, otherwise, it was certain he would have blushed. But by the force, he was thirsty, and words to gain a substance that relieved that thirst were the first that came out of his mouth the moment he half-focused on the being that came into the room next, as his head came alive with a deep aching.
"Water, please." He rasped, his face immediately twisting with pain as he said it, and his hands went, shakily, to his noggin. "Ach, my 'ead... uunnghhhhh..."
The blurred figure turned back, poking his head out the door, words were still difficult to comprehend, but next thing Jan knew, he was being sat up slowly, and having water fed to him, bit by bit, until he held up his right hand in a gesture to stop, for the first time seeing his hand, and the I.V. in it...
...and then, De'arin. Jan blinked sluggishly, his head still throbbing. There was too much light in here.
"De, I..." He began, only to be cut off by the sound of his best mate's voice, and the expression on his face, coming into focus, and... and the quetarra case poking up from behind his back, and he began to realize that it was possible to feel worse.
"I'm not staying, Jan. I... I can't." De looked over his shoulder, toward the door, then back to Jan. De looked uncomfortable, and a little on edge. "I just came to drop off your things, let you know that..."
Jan sighed, and looked away.
"I hae an inkling tha' this was comin'."
"Jan..."
"Shut up, De... just... " Jan's face turned toward De again, now creased with pained anger, his eyes becoming wet with hot tears, the volume of his voice raised and straining. "...do what ye came t'do, an' shove off. I know we're done. Take th'band, and do whatever th'frack ye want wi'it. Go live y'life, go an' love Shayenne..." He choked, at those last few words, but continued on. "...an' don'worry about being fearful on account o'me, anymore."
"I'm sorry, Jan... If you would've just..."
But Jan turned his face away again, and listened, waited for De to leave. Labouriously, he curled himself up to one side of the hospital bed, and fed the knuckles of his left hand between his teeth, and let the tears roll like fire down his face.
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Coruscant
2230hrs, Zhellday
The show had almost went off without a hitch. In all honesty, it was something for which he could be grateful these days, that almost and so close, considering the way things had been turning out for him, as they had been for some time. It was ruining him, it was putting his mates at a distance bit by bit, and he’d just started to notice, when they’d declined the invitation to stick around for an ale or two… that had lately been four, or more likely ten. It was all that was left, when the pain pills stopped working, even if it was temporary, despite the fact that it got worse when he drank. The finite numbness was only a trick, but it was preferable to what getting help meant, no matter how much they had in so many indirect words begged him to get help.
They were afraid for him, but worse still, they were becoming afraid of him. At least, that was what he thought he could see. Even De’arin, who had been his friend since shortly after he had arrived on Coruscant at the age of thirteen, was pulling back because no matter how much Jannik feared what was happening to him, no matter how terribly anxious he was about the change that getting help would bring, he feared the prolongement of solitude more. Maybe, they thought, leaving him alone would give him the shove they thought he sorely needed.
But instead he drank, and he drank, until the bartender cut him off and sent him on his way, out into the cool air of Coruscant at night, before he was entirely too far gone to get himself home. The ‘tender had a stake in the well-being of Jannik, too, for the music the young man made had been good for business. A promise to take good care was extracted from the musician with the soft, chestnut curls, and he left, an alcoholized lope in his gait as he went. Of course, it was hard to take care when your mind had other ideas, for not more than two blocks from the cantina did the world light up before his eyes, plunging his mind into a horrifying sight and clamour of violent sound and actions that pulled a blood-curdling scream from his lips, scrambling several steps back, begging frantically in a chorus of ‘no, no, nononon-NOOO… get away, get a-WAYGET…’ before it sent him crumpling to the duracrete in a faint, his head landing hard in seemingly finalizing smack…
...and every eye of the Coruscanti nightlife was on him as he went down. There was an uproar of shock, disturbed chatter, laughter, holopics and video. There was no hiding, now. Though he would not remember it later, he would never forget seeing his face on the holonet for it, and the shame and ostracising that followed.
-------------------------------------------------------
Two Days Later
Coruscant Medical Center
Eyes fluttered, though lethargically with heavy eyelids. Consciousness had not been at a premium for over forty-eight hours, and medical staff had checked up on him, continuously, around the clock in that time, the worry over the velocity at which his head had made contact with the duracrete being their primary concern... but so far, all his body had been content to do was sleep. So sleep they had let him, continuing measure of his vitals, and discussing amongst themselves what they had seen and heard from the multitude of media footage gathered by onlookers. There were those that wished to speak with him, about what had happened that night - CSF and psychiatric personnel amongst them - and they were chomping at the bit for the moment he would awake.
But neither of those was the first that came to him when he finally came to, when his eyes managed to fully open, and the groggy groan that followed gained the attention of the nurse that was just about to leave the room, her rounds finished. She did not waste time in telling... whoever it was that 'the handsome young man with the curls' was awake. Jannik was not yet cognizant enough to recognize what was going on, otherwise, it was certain he would have blushed. But by the force, he was thirsty, and words to gain a substance that relieved that thirst were the first that came out of his mouth the moment he half-focused on the being that came into the room next, as his head came alive with a deep aching.
"Water, please." He rasped, his face immediately twisting with pain as he said it, and his hands went, shakily, to his noggin. "Ach, my 'ead... uunnghhhhh..."
The blurred figure turned back, poking his head out the door, words were still difficult to comprehend, but next thing Jan knew, he was being sat up slowly, and having water fed to him, bit by bit, until he held up his right hand in a gesture to stop, for the first time seeing his hand, and the I.V. in it...
...and then, De'arin. Jan blinked sluggishly, his head still throbbing. There was too much light in here.
"De, I..." He began, only to be cut off by the sound of his best mate's voice, and the expression on his face, coming into focus, and... and the quetarra case poking up from behind his back, and he began to realize that it was possible to feel worse.
"I'm not staying, Jan. I... I can't." De looked over his shoulder, toward the door, then back to Jan. De looked uncomfortable, and a little on edge. "I just came to drop off your things, let you know that..."
Jan sighed, and looked away.
"I hae an inkling tha' this was comin'."
"Jan..."
"Shut up, De... just... " Jan's face turned toward De again, now creased with pained anger, his eyes becoming wet with hot tears, the volume of his voice raised and straining. "...do what ye came t'do, an' shove off. I know we're done. Take th'band, and do whatever th'frack ye want wi'it. Go live y'life, go an' love Shayenne..." He choked, at those last few words, but continued on. "...an' don'worry about being fearful on account o'me, anymore."
"I'm sorry, Jan... If you would've just..."
But Jan turned his face away again, and listened, waited for De to leave. Labouriously, he curled himself up to one side of the hospital bed, and fed the knuckles of his left hand between his teeth, and let the tears roll like fire down his face.