Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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A favour returned

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[SIZE=13.333333333333332px]When he had left Sullust A’dele had mostly been resting in the medical ward. Whatever Qorbin Fal had managed to do had left her reserves severely depleted. He’d stayed a time, when she was awake going through the same routines she had shown him to build mental barriers.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.333333333333332px]Then of course he’d sought out Qorbin Fal and Omai Rhen had sent started him down the path to find something that could genuinely be of use to the Iridonian. That had been a week ago, before the ambush and the near miss with a lightsaber. Bacta and modern medicine were amazing things, but they could not prevent the scar that now crossed his eyes. If that blade had just been an inch closer he would have been sporting an artificial eyes as well. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.333333333333332px]The wooden box under his arm was made of a dark, unpolished wood with thick black metal hinges. It had suited that murky “furniture shop” in a manner that it did suit the item it contained. That didn’t matter, he reminded himself. It was just a functional item. Made of Rhodium. But not because he thought it would suit her, but because…[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.333333333333332px]Jacen had passed the medical wing on the way, she was no longer there. They hadn’t said much on the matter of her recovery. Apparently A’dele had been reticent to speak much on the issue. It was had to think back to when he had first met her, before he could read her tells and follow her line of thought through her proverbs. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.333333333333332px]So he meandered down to the Bafforr plantation to look for her.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.333333333333332px][member="Adele Adonai"][/SIZE]
 
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[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]​



Bare feet carefully went stepping across worn wooden planks. Each step would bear her weight, a dull creak that would settle as if giving a sigh. The morning light would dance along the fields, painting them in the blush of the withering dawn. Nothing but the song of crickets and the gentle hush of the wind surrounded the Iridonian, each step taking her closer, and closer to her objective.

The bitter tang of Bafforr pollen would tickle the nose with a sharp taste to the senses. Earthy, woody, with a green undercurrent. Each soft caress of the wind would brush along like a lover's caress, fluttering the hem of robes, lifting the strands of her gossamer hair. With every step she felt a little bit stronger. With every step a little bit lost. Yet she kept on walking, driven by an image that burned in her mind. It was much a desire for solitude as it was for clarity.

After all, even in the morning light, one could feel safe and sound.

The bridge gave way to a barley field. Listless glacial eyes would lower, and in her amble, the tips of her fingers slowly began to brush against the golden tops of feathery barely. Just a bit more. Closer still.

Until the ring of Bafforr trees stood before her in their slow, weeping beauty.
 
[member="Adele Adonai"]

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The low vibrating hum of one who flit from place to place in search of his goal would interrupt her quest for solitude. Still garbed in his worn travelling clothes, with sun weathered skin and fresh scars he was a stark contrast to the serene Iridonian.

Of course he would find her here once more. That particular scent was bitter, yet not so unpleasant he’d describe it as acrid. Now that smell linked a chain of key events together in his memory. His stomach lightly fluttered as he caught sight of her, a like a pale apparition in the swaying trees. Part of him became aware of the sentience of the ring of trees, such a subtle vibration in the Force.

“Good morning,” he called so softly, as if concerned to startle her. That was unlikely, he thought. Only when she was in deep meditation would she not sense his approach. “How have you been A’dele?” he asked as he approached. There was a slight twinge of guilt as he came close. So single minded in his determination to find some way to protect her from going through that experience again, perhaps she would have valued his time here on Sullust more to help her rebuild those walls?
 
[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]


He didn't startle her.

Jacen.

A'dele knew it even before he even spoke. It could have been Master Eden, Master Rhen, or even Gabriel. but it wasn't. It was Jacen. She knew the hum of the Force around him. She knew his distinct aura. She knew the sound of his breath.

She knew the way the air felt when she was near him.

It troubled her.

All the more when put into context of what he might have seen. Of what would come.

So the Iridonian came to a slow stop, right foot stepping into place beside the left. He was just outside her peripheral, distinguishable even if she dropped her gaze. The roll of cloth between her thumb and forefinger came next. It felt as if her spine filled with ice, and she couldn't turn. Instead, her profile cast a shadow, the length of her unbound hair floating around her like halo.

A slow intake of breath. A Caamasi proverb. And the weaver spun a web to hide her form.

"I am doing well...Master Voidstalker."
 
[member="Adele Adonai"]

“I’m glad to hear it,” he said earnestly. As easy smile found his lips and he leant against a tree. “Sorry I had to head out. Qorbin Fal paid me a call.” She stood stock still, side on to him. Was he supposed to walk around to face her? Jacen wasn’t certain, so he stayed where he was. Using the formal name was not lost on him. He idly wondered if he was wrong to call her by her first name. He wouldn’t ask her to call him ‘Jacen’, she was…well A’dele was A’dele and if she wanted to use his name she could. However, perhaps he should ask if she preferred to be named formally in return. He’d ask later, it didn’t matter now.

The fact that he could feel her close off was telling on its own. Without even noticing the particulars his subconscious say the physical tells. Perhaps she would always be uncomfortable around him now. It had seemed she was becoming more at ease with his presence before. Still, if what he had done drove her away forever he would make the same call again. She had needed his aid, it was as simple as that.

It was a nice secluded spot she’d found. He imagined she’d come her to meditate for a time. A good time to test the advantages of the artefact, he supposed. Her feet were bare, her hair free. It reminded him of the time they travelled to Nar Shaddaa.

“Hair looks nice down.”

Wait, did I just say that out loud?

“And I’m sorry for what I had to do,” he added quickly. “I had to push through your defences and intrude where I shouldn’t have. I wanted you to know I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t thought you were in real danger.”
 
Qorbin Fal.

The name of the one responsible for her break down on Omwat sent a shiver down her spine. Her knuckles became white against the grip of the fabric of her robes, and she took a deep breath. Turning her head away, A'dele felt that crawl over her skin again. The smothering sensation that had driven her to lose that carefully woven defense, letting it fall in tatters at her feet.

It had been close. Too close.

Blinking rapidly, A'dele barely registered the rest of what Jacen said. One hand uncurled, then drew up. Glacial blue eyes would stare at the palm of her hand as if troubled by what she saw there. Those slender digits trembled, and then the Iridonian closed her fist.

"One cannot refuse to eat just because there is a chance of being choked." the Camaasi saying would float over towards the Jedi Master. A'dele understood the why. That wasn't her concern. Jacen had done exactly what she had been training him to do. To master. He had done exemplary in that. In his actions, he had saved her life. In more ways than one.

Her concern wasn't on his intrusion. It was on what he had seen.

It was that gut twisting worry that held the Jedi Healer back from facing him wholly, from meeting his eyes. From what she might see reflected in them after seeing her perfectly, crafted world fall apart.

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]
 
[member="Adele Adonai"]
Jacen nodded his head at the proverb. In this moment it held more than one meaning for him. The second connotation was that even after what had happened A’dele might not stay away from the major engagements of the Alliance. Here she was safe, out there where he might try and find her, she would not be.

Over time he had learned to pick up some of the tells the Iridonian wore instead of the more overt displays of emotion common to humans. Mostly it was the negative that broke through, but occasionally he thought she smiled with those bright blue eyes. It probably happened without her even realising.

She turned her back on him after staring at her hand. Jacen bowed his head, leaving the silence to linger for a moment. He watched the blades of grass before his feet, idly wondering what they would feel like to bare feet. They were so still with such little breeze moving through the artificial air. On a whim he pulled his boots free and set his bare feet down as he spoke.

“That's why I went and had this made,” he said. “Qorbin made quite clear he intends to do the same thing again and I thought it prudent to make certain he couldn't. The imbuements will make it hard for the dark side to touch your mind, but actually you might find the Kasha crystals quite helpful at any time.”

The box slipped down from under his arm to the palm of his hand. He kept his footing rather than pressing her. He was no cloying youth desperate for her approval. If she required he'd leave in on the ground and give her the space she needed.
 
[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]


There was a heavy thudding sound behind her, followed by another. The smooth curve of her brows, shadowed by the violet of her tattoos dipped inwards. What was that? However, that wonder wouldn't match the confusion that resulted after Jacen mentioned having an item made. A slow pan would turn her upper body back towards the Hound, where much to her surprise instead of boots, ten toes sunk into the moist earth and grass.

The Iridonian would lift her eyes in appraisal, finally coming to a stop to rest upon the brown of the native of Tatooine. Comparatively, he had matured and grown into himself since she first met him months back to tend to his wounds. There was a certain conviction about him, a way he held himself that hadn't been there before. It was still maturing, for one never halt their quest for wisdom and knowledge.

He had come farther than she ever could. Would ever allow herself.

A'dele had spent time in the Jedi archives to know the significance of a Kasha crystal. That didn't confuse her. What confused her was the small box he held within his hands. A simple wooden box. Her listless expression would subtly shift into one of query. Curiosity was ever the trait of the Weaver, all the more when presented with a curious curio.

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The pads of her thumb and forefinger would rub together. It wasn't a nervous tick as it was a habit she made when considering her next move. A few seconds would pass, the sound of the sifting of leaves in the wind off in the distance. Until finally, her right foot slid forward. Then her left.

Until she stood in front of him in all her complicated simplicity.
 
[SIZE=14.6667px]Without a word she turned and walked back over to him, pale feet kicking up the lightly stained hem of her robes. Delicate fabric floated with each step. She might notice his toes curling into the ground repeatedly. Of course he now realised he would either have to sit down and put his boots back on in front of her, or risk getting something stuck in the soles of his feet. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=14.6667px]He held out the wooden case. “Yes it turns out our Grand Marshal might have a slightly more interesting history than we thought. I tracked down a few of his old acquaintances. On the Varunda system I found an Ithorian who worked up the design and I went to meet a Jal Shey mentor on Kyrikal. Unfortunately that's where a couple of Qorbin’s lackies caught up to me,” he said with a quick dart of the eyebrows, indicating the scar on his face with his free hand. Just a centimetre more and they eye would have been taken. The smallest changes could lead to the most significant results. Chaos theory.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=14.6667px]His eyes found some movement in the trees to the side. It was often all too easy to observe her carefully, looking for the subtle tells. The shift was accompanied by a subtle tremor in the Force and a whisper on the breeze as the leaves trembled. He idly wondered if the sentient trees observed their lives with interest. Where they watching now and wondering just as much as he on how A’dele was going to act? Odd, he thought, how when the surface of the pool was most still that slightest perturbations could be felt the furthest from their beginnings.[/SIZE]


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[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

There was a gentle rustle of the wind. It went drifting around the open plain, uplifting the weeping branches of the Bafforr trees, almost as if they were giving out a sigh of expectation.

A'dele's expression was set in a careful, placid mask. Her thumb and forefinger again slowly continued their rub against the other. Contemplating, considering her next action. Ice blue eyes would settle upon the wooden box, flicking up towards Voidstalker a second later. Internally, A'dele struggled with her next move. Her next decision.

The past decade had been spent in keeping herself hermit-ed away. In making sure that she blended into the background. In ensuring she did her best at being the perfect Jedi. The past few months managed to stretch her beyond her level of comfort. The Iradonian wasn't as invisible as she would like. Not anymore.

No, Jacen Voidstalker was able to see her. Not only that, he was able to discern exactly what she would need to help her regain and maintain a level of security.

After a few seconds, A'dele would slowly stretch her hand over towards the wooden box. However, right before the length of her alabaster fingers met the fine grain, they gave a subtle twitch of hesitation. Her ice blue eyes met Jacen's again.

"I..." her throat worked. She wasn't quite sure what to make of it. Carefully her fingers uncurled and closed the distance to accept the gift.

"Thank you."
 
[member="Adele Adonai"]

The Marshal stood stock still as she approached, fearful that she may scamper off into the woods should he make any sudden movement. She seemed to float over the intervening space and once more he sensed a ripple of thought swing around the circle of Bafforr trees. The faint smile that took up residence as her eyes turned up to meet his was the first visible motion for a few seconds.

“That's alright,” he said quietly with a gentle incline of the head. He relinquished his grip on the box. Such a simple thing of wood and black metal. Just a lining of navy felt inside to keep the item secure.

“Though even if it works no one's going to ask you back to the front until you feel ready. I imagine you'll want a little more time, if you even feel inclined at all. No one would blame you if you chose not to,” he said, there was a pause and his brow furrowed in contemplation.

“Of course, knowing we have no major operations for a few months makes than an easy thing to say and I now wonder how I'd have phrased it under different circumstances,” he added. He would often fill the empty spaces with words. She didn't seem to mind. He'd come along way to reach the point where he'd have these introspective little thought exercises and reflect on his actions objectively.

His let his gaze run across the tops of the bafforr trees. “Must be beautiful here at night, when they start to glow against the night sky.”
 
[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

The soft crush of grass and then another step.

Her movement was oddly swift. As if Jacen had blinked, and within that space of time, A'dele had taken a step closer. There was a rush of energy, as if slowly expanding, breathing in deep. A figure swathed in white, kissed by violet and hair flowing like spidersilk. The wooden box was held within her left hand. Her right hand...

Those slender digits went floating upward, until they hovered right over the fresh pale pink scar that ran across his eye. Glacial eyes searched his face, quietly studying. Ever so gently, starting from just over his browbone, the soft pad of her finger went tracing over the scar. The warmth of the digit barely would register, and a slight furrow would start to grow between her eyes.

"Master Eden has the skill to help you with this." I do not. She wanted to, felt a pressing need to . Yet that skill lay outside of possibility for the Iridonian. Her disconnect, that which she had struggled with for so long, prevented her from truly tapping into the power of the light. Avalore Eden would by far be the best to help Voidstalker.

"You needn't have done so on my account. " as her finger drew just over his check bone, there was a widening of her eyes. As if she just realized the breach in decorum she'd exhibited. Her fingers instantly curled, halting the trace and drawing them away.

"...They are." her lids fell and she began to pull her hand back. "The Bafforr trees at night." a passerby wouldn't have caught it, but there was a subtle shift across her expression, much like the ripple across the surface of a pool.

Perturbations.
 
[member="Adele Adonai"]

He took in a sudden intake of breath as she ran her hand down his scar. That fresh raw skin was still incredibly sensitive to the touch. Cheeks drawn slightly up, his brown eyes were framed in delicate lines as he looked back at her curiously. Feeling a gentle flutter, he found himself consciously reminding himself to breath. Her eyes went wide and the hand was retracted quickly. She was so close to him now, A’dele had never been one for moving into personal space like this.

As she drew back his left hand intercepted her right. Thumb to palm and fingers resting against the back of her hand ever so gently. Suddenly it was time for Jacen to hide behind a proverb as he found himself faltering. “No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of another,” he recited, before letting go of her hand and swallowing.

His eyes turned down to the wooden box as he tried to follow things through in his mind. It occurred to him that she'd made a suggestion and he hadn't even responded. “Avalore has her hands full I think. The medics can get the scar tissue sorted out over a few sessions, but the eyebrow might always be missing a strip,” he said with a brief low chuckle. He smiled faintly as he waited for her to open the box. It was his duty as a Jedi of course. Only the Sith used the Force for personal gain instead of coming to the aid of those who needed it most. But then that alone would not account for why he was holding his breath again.
 
[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

His hand was warm. Calloused against the smoothness of her own. It was a hand that etched across it a map of scars, of a life of battles. A life of war.. A life of diligence. A life of ferocity tempered by the presence of protection and loyalty.

No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of another.


It was humbling. Her breath caught. A fine tremble came to the Jedi Healer, the slightest of widening of her eyes as, an abrupt lift to meet his eyes. Around them, there was a sway of leaves, an energy flowing with the deep yawn of a rising sea. Her hitch of breath was barely noticeable, a whisper amidst the breeze.

The Weaver was a creature of subtleties. The dilation of pupils. The flutter of a pulse at the base of her neck. Awareness. As if caught by her own web, Adele found herself rooted.

Then as quickly as the warmth of his hand cradled her own, the cool open air embraced it again. The slender digits curled inward, as if retreating into a shell, coming to rest by the wooden box that contained his gift. Ther pads latched upon the grain, seeking a surface to find purchase with.

Her throat worked, ice blue eyes falling to the carved wooden container within her hands, “And a single slip may cause lasting sorrow.”

The last came as a low hush. It was a reminder. But to who? That answer was left floating along the Bafforr Trees as her pale hands gingerly pressed down, then slowly lifted the lid. Thereupon blue velvet, the morning light would glint in swathes of rose and silver. An intricate circlet, inlaid with crystals, sat upon the sapphire folds.

And just like that, the breeze stopped.

This was more than what A’dele ever would expect. The imbued power of the Force could be felt radiating from within, that sense of calm seeping from mere touch. That fine trembling returned.

It was a pure, beacon of light. All that I am not.

If at all possible, her face would blanch further. She knew well where she stood in her connection with the Force. She couldn’t accept this. It would bring Jacen’s gift to shame.

Slowly, carefully, that lid was once again shut.

“Master Voidstalker, this is suited for another.”
 
No breeze, no rustling of leaves. The only movement was Jacen's mouth opening and closing as he tried to find words that evaded his grasp.

Mouth snapped shut and his eyes turned to the floor. Bare feet faced off across a grassy field of battle. Why would she say such a thing? He'd felt something as their eyes met and her hand was folded within his own, yet there had been a sudden retreat from the Iridonian. Why would she so suddenly close herself off and reject the powerful artefact? Why did he want to hold her so much, as he had in the dreamscape?

It is because she is scared.

That dawning realisation drew his eyes upwards, would meet hers if she matched him. It also took his mind back to an isolation chamber long ago. When he had first heard her use that proverb. Then it had been for him, not so now.

"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood," he echoed the exact sentiment she had used as a follow up when they first met.

His hands drew back to his sides, leaving the box in her grip. "I don't know what it is that your fear A'dele, nor do I ever need to. But this was made for you and you alone. No one else could benefit from it as you, I don't think."

When his voice continued it was barely above a croaky whisper. "I will leave if you'd prefer, so you can be alone with your thoughts for a while. At the least try and see if it aids you find a peaceful meditation." A small smile graced his lips once more, even if he still looks a little crestfallen. He doubted he would ever truly understand her, but if he didn't try then who would come to her aid when she suffered in silence?

[member="Adele Adonai"]
 
[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

A shiver swept through Adele. It shot ice through her veins and she felt as if left to the elements upon an approaching storm. Her knuckles shone white, fingertips pressed tightly against the wood.

He didn't understand.

Truth be told, she didn't want him to. She didn't want him to know. To see. To realize the truth. That she was as much of an illusion as the safety a cloud would offer in support. That she was only a creation of her careful scrutiny, crafting her house of cards through decks of filmsi.

Her breathing would quicken, chest starting to rise and fall in her growing anxiety.

There is no emotion, There is Peace.
There is no emotion, There is Peace.
There is no emotion, there is...

... the wounded expression in his eyes. As if she had struck him right along the single chink in his armor. Within the mire of his wounded confusion and lingering dejection, the Weaver found herself warring with the desire to let him know the truth.

So she stood quietly, holding the circlet within her hands. That tight grip revealing the internal struggle that the Iridonian felt.

Nothing in life is to be feared, only understood.

That knot in her throat grew tighter. Her lips felt dry. Then, just as she felt as if the Hound were to step away, she spoke. Her voice was low, a rasp of a whisper. The desperate sound of one seeking to quench their thirst with a handful of water.

"....Did you see ?"

The lids that had lowered in her shame rose to meet the Master's before her. It was a familiar echo to that plea within the dreamscape. If he saw, if he still did what he did despite it...
 
[member="Adele Adonai"]

Jacen's expression melted as she looked up at him. In that world of abstract thought visualised by the subconscious he had seen her struggle, had felt her desperation. But perhaps he had not realised how deep that went. She was perhaps always struggling, treading water on the surface, far more than anyone who saw her serenely meditation on the lakeside would imagine.

As he spoke he never broke eye contact. “I know you put yourself in grave danger for the sake of others. I know you devote yourself to the light.”

He thought of Chevu and the advice he'd tried to impart before agreeing to give back her title.

“I know that sometimes when you're trying to give someone the advice they sorely need that it's easier to speak in the generic than it is to relay your own painful experiences. The very ones that give you the foresight they lack.

“A’dele I know that you struggle against something and that fight is far more difficult than that which laid me low for weeks. And I don't know how strong you've had to be to fight that battle alone for so long. It can be harder to ask for help than it is to struggle on,” he said. His eyes smiled briefly. “Afraid I had no proverb in mind for that one.”

There was no overt movement, but he was suddenly looming slightly closer. He could see the faint gossamer strands waft in front of her eyes as that breeze resumed and the Bafforr started to whisper again. In this moment, he very much wanted to hold her against him again and to tell her that everyone would be okay.
 
[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]


A'dele was not blind to her hypocrisy. Jacen now would know it as well.

If there was any way for the Weaver to tighten her hold upon that box, she could have very well crushed it. The cognac hue of his eyes bore into her own, and for a moment, she wondered if he would wear the same expression if he saw the truth of what lay therein instead?

What was it that he saw? Was it her carefully crafted facade or was it what he wanted to see instead? Without her realizing it, her breathing quickened. The rise and fall of her chest spiking with each draw and exhale of breath.

The pale pink tip of her tongue went sweeping across her lips, moistening the dry skin. Color slowly seemed to return to the Iridonian, enhancing the lavender of her tattoos, brightening the blue of her eyes. There came nature's deep draw of breath. It held it it. It sought to swallow what it could whole. Preparing. Waiting. Thrumming as if in anticipation.

Her gaze fell, staring at the box that contained the artifact he had commissioned for her. For an ideal of her.

"Is that what you see?" Her voice had dropped an octave, a throaty rasp that evoked a chill down the spine.

The wind shot through with a gust. Strands of gossamer blonde hair went dancing in the wind. They fell over her face like a shroud, the vestigial horns an ivory crown upon her bowed head.

"What you believe you know?"

Her throat would work. Then the low hoarse whisper.

"Where ignorance is bliss. 'tis folly to be wise."
 
[member="Adele Adonai"]

"Actions speak louder than words," he said without missing a beat. It was a common saying, rather than a proverb. Jacen was incapable of believing that people who held the line to the very end to protect others could be bad people. Just thinking of that report, of the way she had died, it brought a lump to his throat. But the facade she thought he saw, was not the facade he thought he saw now. Jacen thought he was looking upon a person so convinced that there was something inherently wrong with them, that they refused to see the truth of what they had become. That was something he could relate too all too easily.

Off the way the mind changed its patterns of through over time. She had, in fact, been part of that change that allowed him to consider facts objectively, detached from his emotions. But it was the Republic who had tought him to string together all the little facts into a coherent story.

Listening to those returning down the path, had that been the phrase? What was it that lurked under that lake? It hadn't been Fal. Her eyes. The investigator still didn't know exactly what she feared, but he had enough at hand to know some things.

"A'dele, I don't know what you did when you were using the dark side. I would never ask you to tell me. But you could." His gaze followed the lines of the tattoos from her chin up to her hair. As she had reached put to him without thinking, he caught the wild flowers of hair between two fingers and moved to sweep it back behind her ear. He almost immediately realised that was likely a mistake.
 
It was as if the Weaver slowly began to crumple within herself. Her shoulders sank. Worn and weary, like a fragile flower barely hanging onto the vine. She had been so careful. Done everything to be so perfect. To maintain that carefully constructed web of lies, spun from the silk of unattainable atonement.

From behind tightly clenched lids, A’dele felt her eyes burn white hot and without mercy. The heavy weight of shame, guilt, and the years of repressing every tiny bit of emotion cracked under her fragile condition. Where she had seemed to be a diamond pillar of strength, one would find spider cracks that could crumble it to pieces with the perfect strike.

A shatterpoint.

I don’t know what you did when you were using the Darkside.


What you did.

What I did.

This time, the wind would not be a mere caress nor a gust of clarity. No, it was a howl. It surged around, sifting leaves and bits of twigs into the air, surging round with a growing ferocity.

There is no chaos, there is –

Warmth slipped within the veil of that draft. Blunt fingers, gingerly stroking back the fine web that hid the last of her sins from view. A candle in the dark, illuminating upon her to reveal the darkening lavender blooms of permanent corruption bruising around her eyes. Lids tinted a dark slash of violet, with tiny purple veins threading through the shut lids of her eyes.

Eyes that flared open a bright blood amber hue as the Healer shrank back.
 

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