Book One: Shenanigans

Episode One: Auteme's Night Out


Auteme looked over at the messenger presenting her with the datapad with a look somewhere between trepidation, irritation and outright disbelief. (See Above) Arms crossed stoically over her chest as the messenger, a street urchin, began to sweat and gives a nervous glance toward the camera. Auteme them sighs, rolls her eyes, and takes the datapad from the messenger's hands and looks down at it. Her nose scrunching up as she mouths the words on the screen to herself before looking up at the messenger, begins to look toward the camera as well, before she corrects herself and asks in a voice just a little too loud. "So... you're telling me I've won a trip to this..." She looks back down at the datapad, rereads the name of the supposed location, before looking back up at the messenger. "..... Dagata IV?" A brief text crawl flies across the screen as a man stammers out in a voice so fast it borders on calling bids at an auction "TheTotallyReal AdventuresofAutemearenotresponsibleforanyindividualsvisitingDagataIVandhavenolegalculpabilityinanyinjury,lossoflife,identitythheftordisappearancesthatmayoccurwithanyvisits." The actress portraying Auteme rolls her eyes and tucks the datapad away before placing her hands on her hips "Yeah okay, so it mentions a ship that's supposed to take me there-..."

With a loud, ponderous scraping and rolling sound the false back-half of a straship of indeterminable design is rolled partly on stage, a cough can be heard, before the hatch to the ship falls open much faster than the script stated. The hatch hit the actor playing the messenger, hitting them in the head and knocking them out col with a heavy THUD as they fall to the floor. 'Auteme' looks around briefly, confused, motioning to the unconscious actor before clearing her throat "Uhhh... so umm...." The actress pauses, before looking at her unconscious scene partner "So... I guess I will be going now...." 'Auteme' climbs the ramp slowly, before vanishing into the set piece. A transition then begins to play over the Holofeed of a very poorly rendered starlit sky, while a spaceship model glued to a popsicle stick 'zooms' through the depths of space. One unpaid intern providing sound effects with their mouth, only for the 'ship' to stop, a brief "Huh?" to be heard. A loud flash of bright light to overwhelm the Holofeed, and somehow, static fills the run time for a good minute.

All at once focus returns to the show, in surprisingly better quality, as the actress portraying Auteme appear on the surface of Dagata IV in her pajamas. Toothbrush still in her mouth and towel wrapped around her hair, as the camera pans around the landing pad she finds herself on. Blinking the actress Auteme looks around as the toothbrush falls from her mouth "Uhhh...." only for the camera to quick-cut to a man emerging from one of the side-alleys of Dagata IV. Poorly hidden fog machines adding a not-so-effective air of mystery about him as he twirls what looks to be a cane in one hand. Only to set it on the ground and tip his hat to Auteme as he introduces himself in a voice that sounds too upbeat and jovial to be at all natural.


The man smiles a wide, jester-like smile before his eyes divert to the side and he gives a very meaningful cough. Only for a confetti canon to go off behind him, littering the streets as he seems to glide his way over to Auteme and wrap his free arm around her. "Well if it isn't the famous, or should I say infamous, Auteme! Welcome! Welcome to Dagata IV! I must say I am so so so SO glad you received my ticket!" The man's face and eyes are never directly seen on camera, but his smile still maintains that too-wide quality as he speaks. Auteme stammering and staggering along with him as she speaks "Hey li-listen buddy I'm just an a-....." The man cuts her off with a 'knowing' nod and the camera continues to follow along behind them as he chimes in "An AMAZING Jedi! Yes we are all so very much aware! Defending truth, honor and your avergae joe-schmoe's right to work a 9-5 on a moisture vaporator on Tatooine!" Auteme, now looking exceedingly uncomfortable, slips out from under the man's arm and backs away. The camera following her from the front now as it swivels around Auteme, the man now out of sight as a bright light gets brighter and brighter as she backs away, only for her to yelp as she trips backwards through an open door. The man laughing as he passes the camera into the same place, the camera following him inside, as he remarks "Well if you were in such a hurry to get here why didn't you say so!?"

Inside the building is a bustling, bright, busy Dagatan casino. Full of a surprising amount of fancy drinks, assorted games and more credits being bet and thrown away than one would likely find in their average Banking Clan bargain. Auteme, blinking and raising a hand to cover her eyes from the light, briefly becomes the audience's POV as her hand covers thee face of the mysterious man before he hauls her up by an arm. Spins her around until she faces the casino, never catching more than the man's hat until she comes to a stop. The audience's view still in the POV of Auteme herself, before the man motions with his cane to all the games and puts a 1,000 credit chip in Auteme's hand. "Go on, go on! What have you got to lose? Free money? That's hardly losing anything!" The camera detaches from Auteme's POV and swivels around her head as she looks around for the exit, seeing nothing but impassable crowds and labyrinthine rows of games, bright lights and a chorus of hundreds of voices.

Auteme, turning back to the man who has a glass raised under the brim of his hat for a drink, scowls at him. "Listen here you.... you freak! I want to go home, back to my apartment. If you do not get my manager this INSTANT I swear I will sue you AND your entire FAMILY into the ground!" The man winces, adjusts his hat, before sighing. His voice becoming lower as he sets the empty drink aside"Alright, alright. If you want to leave, you can leave, but... before you do. Just one game? I'm sure it will help your ratings...." Auteme scowls, before blinking and looking at the camera, and growling. "Fine." Auteme approaches what appears to be a slot machine, inserts the entire credit chip, and pulls the lever before turning and walking away. "There, I play a game. Now get me the kark out he-....." A loud, blaring siren comes from the machine Auteme used, flashing lights as it's screen lights up 'WINNER' in big, glowing letters and a small jawa that looks suspiciously like Moe Uilor in pixelated form, dances across the screen and credits pour from the machine.

The man applauds and laughs, while Auteme stares, awestruck, before her cheeks turn red and she turns to the man. The actress all but seething with rage as she puts her finger right under his hypothetical nose. Her voice all but a hiss. "Listen..... if you do not get me out of here. RIGHT. NOW. I am going to tear this casino apart! Do you hear me?" The man, gently pushing Auteme's hand away, nods, and removes the hat. Holding it before his face as the camera returns to Auteme's POV, only for the man to shrug "Very well Miss Auteme, you can go. I hope you had a pleasant time." The man lowers his hat and, in the moment his eyes would be seen, another bright flash blinds the Holofeed. Only returning to focus as the man fixes his suit and turns away, grumbling to himself "Oof. Visanj T'shkali isn't going to be happy about these losses...."

Back in her apartment, Auteme jolts up in her bed with a small yell, before looking around frantically the camera far away and low as she begins to rub her face. Only to stop, look into her hands, and see a ticket held within them. It is flamboyant, garish and possess a cartoonish rendition of the man winking with the words "WE HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON!" shimmering in the starlight.


The Holofeed briefly cuts to black before returning to the slightly unfocused, poor quality of the original set's camera. The popsicle stick ship laid on what appears to be the ship half set piece as the camera man points the camera at an on-set Holofeed of what is now himself. Only to scream out "WHAT THE KARK WAS THA-..." The feed cuts, a loud, monotone beep plays and the Holofeed is overtaken with a single picture.


Before the credits begin to roll, with no explanation at all.​