It was that night again.
For the last week or so, Valery had already barely been able to sleep without nightmares, but there was something about the night itself that amplified everything, and she was wide awake as a result. Years ago on this night exactly, Valery had traveled away from home on a mission behind enemy lines — it wasn't anything out of the ordinary for the seasoned Jedi Master, but before she could even reach her destination, everything went horribly wrong. Her ship had been shot down over the Imperial world, and together with Rakaan, she was hunted down by the Empire.
Until Kahlil stepped in to save her, at what she believed to be the cost of his own life.
What truly happened to him was far more complicated than that, and perhaps even a miracle in the Force, but for years she had believed to have lost him. For years, she had raised their daughter alone while she tried to move on. But she couldn't. From the moment they met, she had felt a connection to him unlike any other she had ever felt before, and for so long, she had believed it was a bond that couldn't be broken. They had survived his father trying to take control over him together, they had battled Kyrel Ren on Tython and gotten through it, but somehow that night had been unlike all the others.
"...while my trip with Kahlil back to where it happened helped me get over the worst of my fears, I still can't sleep tonight," Valery wrote down while she sat at her desk, exhausted and with her eyes full of tears. "Every time I try, I can see him standing there again, telling me to go. Telling me that Vera is waiting for me. I can feel his hand settle against my cheek again back on the shuttle Rakaan and I stole from the Imperials, when he told me that he loved me for the last time before fading away." She paused and swallowed hard after a tear fell from her cheek onto the paper.
"I hear his voice in my mind once more, supporting me to move on. But I couldn't, and ever since he returned, I've come to realize that I'll never be able to move on from him or the kids, no matter what happens. Perhaps it's my greatest weakness, these overwhelming feelings I have for my family, but they are my biggest strength too. I love you, Kahlil." She pulled back from the makeshift diary she rarely made entries to, and stared at the ring around her finger. She had never taken it off, and now she knew that she was never going to. Several more hours were spent awake after that, with Valery staring in silence at the stars from their new home But eventually her exhaustion caught up to her, and Valery fell asleep at her desk, only to wake up much later into the morning than when she'd usually wake. The diary was still there on the desk, and so were the stains of her tears on the paper.
The only difference was the muffin he had left beside her with a little note meant for her eyes alone.
