The little house on Commenor stood empty and dark. The light it had once held for her was dying beneath the weight of her own decision. Lily stood in the threshold, blood still trickling down her nose, she reached to brush it away, ignoring the throb in her skull as her body protested against the invasion of the darkside, the rot that force travel always left behind eating at her.
It would pass.
Tears rolled freely down her face now, there was no reason to hold them back as each breath came in short sharp gasps. She stepped into the living space, barely seeing it beyond the blur of tears as she stumbled, fingers catching the back of the couch as her knees gave way. The sobs broke through, breaking her chest, burning her throat as she folded over herself, forehead pressing against the tiled floor, arms wrapped around her stomach.
Grief rolled through her, self loathing ride every wave as Vess's hurt expression remained embedded in her brain. She had to let her go, she had to make her go. Keeping her close would have not only broken Vess, but it would have broken Lily. Seeing her realise the choices she was making and never being able to understand the why.
She stayed there on the floor, tears staining the terracotta a darker hue until there was nothing left, till the sobs subsided enough that she could move. It might have been hours, she wasn’t entirely sure, all she knew was that by the time she could breathe without sobbing, her whole body ached.
Slowly she got up, moving through the house like a zombie, collecting items and stuffing them unceremoniously into the duffel bag. She made it to the bedroom, ripping open the drawer on the bedside cabinet, grabbing the book and shoving it into the bag and stopping as the datastick she’d hidden at the back rolled forward.
Gently, she picked it up, sitting on the edge of the bed as she stared down at it, tears once more welling in her eyes, though how she had anymore at this point was beyond her. Her fist closed around it. She’d told
Acier Moonbound
it had been to get Vess out, something for her to look for, to draw her away.For a moment, she considered the other options.
Then she hated herself.
Rising from the bed, she stuffed the last of her clothes in the bag and made her way down to the kitchen, trying to ignore the whisper of Vess’s laughter, of the feel of her body against hers as memory tried to work its way into her path. She brushed the tears away again and set the data stick on the breakfast table, alongside a pack of cigarettes she’d stolen from Arris Windrun.
Lily considered writing a note, but there was nothing she could put in it that wouldn’t undo everything she’d just done, or add more pain. There wasn’t even any guarantee that she would even come by here. But just in case…
The door closed with a hiss behind her before she was gone, leaving nothing but the lingering weight of her own pain.
