- Coruscant 890 ABY
- Jedi Temple Gardens
Wake Nayne sat among the flowers of the Courscant Temple Gardens, his eyes closed in his serenity. He mused over a joke he'd heard from one of the other Masters that morning, noting the intricacies of the humor and the layers of knowledge that could appreciate it. He felt for a fleeting moment the tickle of mirth and appreciated it for what it was before setting it aside as an interesting distraction. Something he could come back and reflect upon, but ultimately was separate from his meditations.
He felt the force flowing through him, everywhere, everpresent, he was a part of it as much as it was a part of him. Harmony and serenity in the moment and outside the moment. His gentle smile widened a little as he felt a presence nearby, one that he cared deeply for. He took a deep breath and attempted to separate himself from those emotions as well, just as she taught him. It was hard, though, she had taken him under her wing when he was only nine years old.
Jedi Master Ibini Abaas strode into the garden, her pearlescent white robes shimmering in contrast to her almost metallic golden skin. A Halaisi she was the picture of almost objective perfection when it concerned the humanoid form. Her sky-blue eyes gleamed like sapphires in her head and her serene smile made even the strongest man weak, tepid, her presence was almost all-encompassing. Despite the power she possesed, she had refused a seat on the greater council of Coruscant. Preferring a life of academia and teaching.
She drifted to a spot not far from Wake and glanced down at him, "Your feelings are wandering again, Wake," She said, the birdsong of her voice startling him out of what he hadn't realised was his own poetic musings about her ethereal beauty.
He cleared his throat, "I-Ah-yes-," He stammered, lost for what to say, "Forgive me master, I have been observing my emotions more closely recently, trying to practice what you instructed. It is difficult, though," He said, "I understand that you would not teach me something unachievable, but I find myself stymied."
She drifted down to a seat next to him and placed a hand on the back of his head and then on his shoulder, "You will find your own peace with time, Wake, you feel more strongly than any young Jedi I have ever met. You retain what I teach you without fail, and you approach your studies with the mind of an academic five times your age," She assured him, "Patience, all force traditions I have learned, light or dark, understand the value of patience."
Wake nodded, taking another breath and trying to separate himself from the momentary agony when her hand drifted away from him. He closed his eye and let himself open to the force, exhaling the lines of the Jedi Code. There were so many questions he had about the code, about what it meant, but he understood that perhaps he was not ready to learn the deeper truths. Truths that Master Abaas comprehended in that beautiful mind of hers. Even so, he had questions.
"Master? May I ask you a question?"
"Of course, Wake."
"Some of the masters have relationships and attachments, they have feelings for their family, but remain in the light. How is that possible? Is that something I could achieve?" Wake asked.
Master Abaas let out a sigh and he felt a ripple of disappointment, his intense empathy kicking in again. He winced, knowing he was in for a lecture this time.
"The ancient Jedi traditions teach us that such attachments, even between Jedi, is inadvisable. While the council has ruled that such actions are sanctioned within strict observation, and those masters have demonstrated their ability to separate themselves from their attachments in the moment, I do not think that is a course that is correct for all Jedi, Wake. Let alone yourself," She began, looking at him with genuine concern, "You have a very strong connection to your emotions and an innate empathy, it makes it hard enough to separate yourself from your feelings and those of others."
Wake's mouth twisted into a frown and he looked down, "But I care for you, Master," He muttered, his feelings twisting in his chest. He felt a distance grow between them that was starting to seem insurmountable. Something hurt that he couldn't percieve. His eyes watered, why had what she said impacted him so? He tried to analyze the emotion but she interrupted his thoughts-
"Did you say something Wake? You must speak up, Padawan," Master Abaas asked, "Your emotions-"
"What's wrong with feeling?!" He blurted out, turning to her and reaching for her, grasping at her robes, "What's wrong with hurting? What's wrong with caring? What's wrong with loving you? I'll be old enough to love you some day, five years, right?" He rambled, the feelings that had been welling up cracking through what felt like a dam in his chest. He hiccuped, vulnerable, weak, defenseless. He buried his face in her chest. She sighed and reached up to stroke his head.
"Wake, I'm afraid that is impossible, we are Jedi, you must reflect on that and accept it. I'm glad that you've found the source of this-" She began.
He looked up at her, agony in his eyes, what did she say? Impossible? He reached up to touch her face, "Why is it impossible? Tell me! I don't understand! Why?" He begged, his fingers pressing against her skin. The explosion of emotions overtaking his repressed mind for that instant.
White mist erupted from his hands, Master Abaas blinked and reached out to grab at them, "Wake, you're-"
Heartbreak ripped through his senses, "I need to know!" He shrieked.
He didn't know what happened next, he felt electricity coursing through him and into his brain. Sparks of force lightning danced around his fingertips on her head. There was an ionized smell and the stench of burnt flesh. He gasped, he was standing, her head was still in his hands. He felt-wrong-something cold in his abdomen hurt him. He gripped his waist and looked down at her. Her eyes were so... no... no no no. Tears welled, no, he saw no life in her eyes despite the shallow breaths in her chest. Her mind was gone.
"No, no no no, no what did I do? No," Wake trembled, "I don't get it, what happened?" He begged, "Master Abaas! Master Abaas! Please wake up!" He begged, tears streaming down his face. "Master Ab-"
Information exploded in his mind without prompting, so much that it pained him. He staggered away from her, grasping at his own head and dropping to his knees in a scream of agony. He retched, thoughts, feelings, visions of a life that wasn't his own. Childhood, younger years, training under a master, becoming a knight, rejecting the call to serve on the council. An understanding of the force as deep as a planetary sea seeded itself through his consciousness. Happy and pleasant memories, memories that were separate. Feelings that were kept tightly controlled.
Master Abaas would never see him the way he saw her, he realized. She never felt a thing for him. She'd already become so separate from her emotions as a Jedi that he was barely an acquaintance. She cared for him just as much as she cared for a flower. There was no attachment between them. This was an irrefutable fact.
Wake gagged, gripping his skull and kicking his feet as the knowledge forced itself inside of his brain. He tried to fight it off but it was no use. He'd consumed her mind somehow. The only explanation. Drain Knowledge, that was a sith power. How did he know that? He didn't. She did. Wait, where did Wake start and Abaas stop? Or was it the other way? He retched again, sobbing, laughing, screaming, curled up into a ball.
Wake got to his feet minutes later, standing up to look at her beautiful face, eyes shut in despicable serenity. The terrible wounds on her head the only sign of the violence that brought her to mind-death. He felt his emotions try to recede, to hide, to become even more hollow. His emerald eyes flashed with anger, no, never, he would never deny his feelings again. Denying emotion was what killed Master Abaas. The Jedi killed Master Abaas. He was just the unwitting animal that committed the crime. Tears streamed down his face as he staggered away, tossing his lightsaber to the ground.
