Hey, kid.

I know you’re... in a coma right now, but things are a little too quiet around here without you around. So I thought I would try something different. I’m going to write a few of these holo-letters for you, both to help sharpen your mind when you wake up, and to preserve my knowledge in case anything ever happens to me. Not that I plan on dying or disappearing anytime soon, but in this crazy galaxy, you never know what might happen next.

I’ve been reading one of the autographed books Nimdok gave you, Son of Solo. You left it on my ship. Not what I’d normally read, but ever since the professor died, I’ve been getting sentimental. Reading his books is a comfort to me, I guess. He wrote the same way he talked.

Anyway, I’m at the part where he talks about Vergere and what she taught Jacen Solo during his captivity. Apparently, Jacen was known for being very passive and unwilling to take action. He pissed everybody off, because there was a massive catastrophic war going on, and here was this powerful Jedi trained by Luke Skywalker himself who wouldn’t do what was necessary to help win the war.

Nimdok says it was because he was scared of the Dark Side. He thought the Dark Side was like a stalking predator out to get him, or a demonic entity that could possess him if he used the Force while angry or afraid. He thought he was being responsible by not using the Force at all—at least, until he needed the Force to rescue his mother.

I’m not going to pretend that this isn’t a fear I’ve shared. This whole idea of losing control, acting while emotions are running high and screwing up, or lashing out when you really shouldn’t—yeah, I’m intimately familiar with that feeling. I used to live for the approval of my master, and I dreaded the moment I would inevitably make a mistake.

So, Jacen is captured by the enemy, and while he’s in captivity, being tortured and then enslaved, he meets Vergere. She teaches him an important lesson about responsibility and the Force. Basically, she made him see that the Dark Side wasn’t an external threat, it was already inside him. It was his fear and anger and other negative aspects of his personality. In fact, she told him there was no Dark Side or Light Side, only the Force in him. Only by knowing himself could he embrace the Force fully.

You remember during training, when I told you that the Force was all about a “will to power”? This idea is connected to that. The Force is inside you. It’s spiritual as much as it is an “energy field”. That’s why it’s so tied up in notions of personal morality. You can’t really get around that aspect of it, not without reducing the Force to a tool. Like a magic wand. And hey, that’s no fun—at least, not for me.

So this is what I need you to understand. When people say there is no Dark or Light, only the Force, they don’t mean that there is no evil or good. They mean that it’s all about what you use the Force to do. If you hurt somebody because you wanted to hurt them, that’s the Dark Side—the Dark Side didn’t make you do it. You have to take responsibility for your actions. That includes making mistakes, losing your self-control, or simply expressing your personal flaws. We all have them.

Whatever you do, don’t allow fear to paralyze you into inaction. The Force is a great gift, a mighty ally, and you need to use it.

Signing off,
Starlin Rand