Name: Valen
Location: The Silver Rest, Kashyyyk
Subject: I dunno, reflection?
Things have been quiet lately since Master Naetre went away.
Our sessions together had to be stopped as she said something about being needed elsewhere in the Galaxy, but wouldn't tell me any details when I asked.
Instead of talking to her about things now though, I'm seeing Caedyn a bit more as he's apparently taken her place as far as things go. We had our first meeting today and he wanted to go over why they're important and what I can gain from them.
A lot of what we talked about was stuff I'd already spoken with Amaly about but he wasn't around for all that so I guess he wanted to know how I felt about the first time they found me. He asked me if I was angry with the people who mistreated me, and other questions like that, but to be honest I guess it always made me more sad than angry.
It hasn't been that long but I feel like I know so much more now than I did back then; I didn't realize that things could be this good. A lot of it feels like a big blur when I think back, and it feels annoying that I just accepted things for what they were. Caged and enslaved, like that was all I was meant for?
I don't think I'm angry at the Followers of Typhojem as much as I am at myself. That and really confused still, I suppose. I don't remember how I got to be there with them in the first place, and when I asked Caedyn about trying to figure it out, he said that it could be dangerous and that I'm best to keep learning, training and to figure out who I am in myself...-But the not knowing is really bugging me!
Who are my parents? Where do I come from...-Caedyn said that there are lots of Jedi who start from a young age and don't know the answers to these questions. I know he's trying to be nice and make me feel a little better but it doesn't help.
I still want to know more, but it's not like I can just leave...-I don't know how to pilot a ship or anything and I've got it really good here. I'm learning things that I never imagined I could do, and the archives have so much information about the rest of the Galaxy, I wouldn't want to be told I can't come back.
If I do have parents though, would they be worried about me? Or were they part of the cult...-No, that's a horrible thought. No one's Ma or Pa would let their kids be treated so horribly.
Still...-There's so much I don't know and the questions keep mounting up.
