When I ran for office, I never thought I would win. Not in a million years. It was supposed to be Organa. I ran for Organa's sake, and that's where the grudges developed, oddly enough.
It's been eight years. Eight years since I was voted in as Chief of Senate. Apparently I delivered enough of the conviction I've always possessed and the no-nonsense standard I carried forward garnered enough faith in the people of the Republic to get me a victory of sorts. Not a few months later, I was suddenly thrust into nearly complete, authoritative power over the government with the absence of a Supreme Commander and the strange discovery of Saelari's true nature. The Senate was all but invisible. I had to lead the charge in the Republic's recovering from the mass disappearance of trillions. That was quite an event to open with. I'd run the Rebellion before, but I never had to deal with such a furious scramble like that.
The governing system changed shortly thereafter. I couldn't have all the power, and I knew that. I agreed with the changes and I worked with what I could as the Prime Minister, trying to reignite the war effort and push back our relentless Sith oppressors.
Turns out I was right for fighting them all along.
Democracy was sometimes my enemy. Stubborn or indecisive senators tended to obstruct my endeavors to save the Republic, though who could be certain that I knew the answers? I had some supporters, but the dissidents seemed to overwhelm the positive backing. Wartime leaders may never be popular. I did what I could. I did the damn best that I could. I promise that upon the suns or the graves of whomever you may respect in your life, Miria. I did what I knew how to do and often what I did not know. I never claimed to be a politician. I was an activist and I wanted what would save my home and my Republic.
You might know all of this. People will write what they want about me--some closer to the truth than others. But no one will ever have it completely accurate. Perhaps not even myself. But I know what I did and that's what I can account for.
Your mom was not invincible. I was young. I was only twenty-three years when elected, and I am near thirty-one as of the moment I am writing this to you. I have seen myself in the mirror even if I pretended not to notice. I have faded beyond my former youth. They will tell you that I still have the hard edge to me and that I can still take on a gundark, and who am I to argue that they aren't correct? I still feel that fire. But I am not the same woman I was when I began this journey. My hands show more wear than when I was fighting alongside the Rebel troops. My body seems fine and healthy but I do not feel it. Maybe my dad's death has compounded it. My hands shake. I am drinking now.
I have faced my fears throughout my life. Eight years is a long time to encounter fear and also annihilate it. I have no regrets; no apologies. They chose me, and I did what I felt was right. I fought. And I fought. And I fought harder.
Today I am breaking. Or perhaps I was breaking slowly the entire time, and now my body is telling me it is tired. It begs for mercy. I want mercy. Tell me I have not fought for naught? The enemies I have made--they will be my enemies to my grave. I cast fire on their souls.
My friends are few. I have considered that you were the reason I could survive my latter years in public office. Though there were others.
Truth be told, I was unimpressed with the Jedi Order when I began my term, and I remained so for a few years. Grandmaster Raaf eventually changed my views. She is a friend. If she still lives at the time you are reading this, I implore you to seek her out, meet with her, and send her my regards. I am a changing woman. They may call me the banshee or the hardass, and granted, I am. But my heart is not what it always was. I owe this to Raaf. She put up with me and showed me what a friend was. Corvus Raaf. Remember her for me.
Aurelia Volcata you may also wish to find. Perhaps not a close friend as you may consider Master Raaf, but she was the best as far as associates go. If there is one woman who loves the Republic, it is she. Please send her my regards either way.
Solan Charr--I do not know how to refer to him aside from a frequent acquaintance. I know you have met him. Be wary of him and do not get involved with anything he has done. But you may know he is loyal if he is nothing else. Ignore what you can about him and stay far away from his crusades, but let him know I never doubted this quality in him.
I send you my love. From wherever I am. I'll presume that whatever happens to one after death will have been resolved on my end by this point.
It's been eight years. Eight years since I was voted in as Chief of Senate. Apparently I delivered enough of the conviction I've always possessed and the no-nonsense standard I carried forward garnered enough faith in the people of the Republic to get me a victory of sorts. Not a few months later, I was suddenly thrust into nearly complete, authoritative power over the government with the absence of a Supreme Commander and the strange discovery of Saelari's true nature. The Senate was all but invisible. I had to lead the charge in the Republic's recovering from the mass disappearance of trillions. That was quite an event to open with. I'd run the Rebellion before, but I never had to deal with such a furious scramble like that.
The governing system changed shortly thereafter. I couldn't have all the power, and I knew that. I agreed with the changes and I worked with what I could as the Prime Minister, trying to reignite the war effort and push back our relentless Sith oppressors.
Turns out I was right for fighting them all along.
Democracy was sometimes my enemy. Stubborn or indecisive senators tended to obstruct my endeavors to save the Republic, though who could be certain that I knew the answers? I had some supporters, but the dissidents seemed to overwhelm the positive backing. Wartime leaders may never be popular. I did what I could. I did the damn best that I could. I promise that upon the suns or the graves of whomever you may respect in your life, Miria. I did what I knew how to do and often what I did not know. I never claimed to be a politician. I was an activist and I wanted what would save my home and my Republic.
You might know all of this. People will write what they want about me--some closer to the truth than others. But no one will ever have it completely accurate. Perhaps not even myself. But I know what I did and that's what I can account for.
Your mom was not invincible. I was young. I was only twenty-three years when elected, and I am near thirty-one as of the moment I am writing this to you. I have seen myself in the mirror even if I pretended not to notice. I have faded beyond my former youth. They will tell you that I still have the hard edge to me and that I can still take on a gundark, and who am I to argue that they aren't correct? I still feel that fire. But I am not the same woman I was when I began this journey. My hands show more wear than when I was fighting alongside the Rebel troops. My body seems fine and healthy but I do not feel it. Maybe my dad's death has compounded it. My hands shake. I am drinking now.
I have faced my fears throughout my life. Eight years is a long time to encounter fear and also annihilate it. I have no regrets; no apologies. They chose me, and I did what I felt was right. I fought. And I fought. And I fought harder.
Today I am breaking. Or perhaps I was breaking slowly the entire time, and now my body is telling me it is tired. It begs for mercy. I want mercy. Tell me I have not fought for naught? The enemies I have made--they will be my enemies to my grave. I cast fire on their souls.
My friends are few. I have considered that you were the reason I could survive my latter years in public office. Though there were others.
Truth be told, I was unimpressed with the Jedi Order when I began my term, and I remained so for a few years. Grandmaster Raaf eventually changed my views. She is a friend. If she still lives at the time you are reading this, I implore you to seek her out, meet with her, and send her my regards. I am a changing woman. They may call me the banshee or the hardass, and granted, I am. But my heart is not what it always was. I owe this to Raaf. She put up with me and showed me what a friend was. Corvus Raaf. Remember her for me.
Aurelia Volcata you may also wish to find. Perhaps not a close friend as you may consider Master Raaf, but she was the best as far as associates go. If there is one woman who loves the Republic, it is she. Please send her my regards either way.
Solan Charr--I do not know how to refer to him aside from a frequent acquaintance. I know you have met him. Be wary of him and do not get involved with anything he has done. But you may know he is loyal if he is nothing else. Ignore what you can about him and stay far away from his crusades, but let him know I never doubted this quality in him.
I send you my love. From wherever I am. I'll presume that whatever happens to one after death will have been resolved on my end by this point.
