To: Dimitri Voltura
Subject: I Need An Explanation
I need to start by saying that under normal circumstances, I find these sorts of things quite silly. Why take the time to put your thoughts down to be read when it’s so much easier to say them aloud? But then I suppose that not everyone is capable of such things, and that perhaps for those sorts it would be easier to write out their feelings rather than deliver them verbally to the source. Personally, I do not possess this problem; No, my issue lay in the fact that I currently don’t have the capability to get these things, these feelings out verbally, and why is that? Because I was left behind.
That being said, I am not a child. Quite frankly, I stopped being a child long before it was necessary for me to do as such. The very fact that you made the decision to leave me behind, fought with me over the matter, and then still left without me is both painful and insulting. I have seen my fair share of battles, of violence, bloodshed, and death. And in more instances than I can count, I was able to step in and assist with all but the last of that list. I will argue my point vehemently, even now well after the fact that you up and left me here; I am a Healer, Dimitri! The skill of my hands can be most beneficial at the worst of times, whether you like to think about that fact or not.
Now, allow me to take a moment to assure you that I am not blind to your point of view. I am not a natural born fighter, I have never been as such. However, I did manage to find myself quite the extraordinary mentor who has managed to teach me more in our time together thus far than others have attempted in my years of training. I also understand the underlying fear over the fact that I have been both tempted and tainted by the Darkside more than once, and I know that above all else you desire for me to remain safe and pure. These are things I understand fully, however that does not give you the right to make these sorts of decisions for me.
I am an adult, a member of the Knights Obsidian - Squire or not. I am also your mentee, and where you go I should be at your heels learning and absorbing the things that I can. Especially in the heated thick of battle.
But no. Instead, you decided to once again leave me behind, safe within the walls of your home. The fact that I awoke to find you had gone without me has cut me more deeply than any blade out on that field could ever hope to accomplish. I feel betrayed in a way that rivals the way I once felt towards my sister, and that is saying something.
I think that if you do not feel that I can be trusted to protect myself and survive in the heat of battle, that perhaps I am in the wrong place once again. You don’t seem to need me around out past these, or other protected walls, and I will not remain protected behind them forever.
Maybe I’ve still yet to find where I’m supposed to be after all.
- Eenia
