Kat was always meant to be a love story.
When she was inducted into the TGC Hall of Fame, I made sure her entry reflected that, from the beginning, romance was a central pillar of her character. Back then, I was a young teenager, probably leaning too heavily into that angle. I made decisions for her that didn't quite fit, just to preserve whatever relationship I'd written her into. In hindsight, that compromised her character more than helped it. But nothing hurt more than what became an ongoing pattern: the so-called "curse" of driving writers away.
Every major love story I tried to tell with Kat (pre-Chaos) ended the same way, the other writer went inactive or left the board altogether. Her first marriage became canon in her storyline, but even that eventually fell apart, and I used that as a catalyst for something darker: her addiction arc. Kat has an unusual vulnerability to the dark side, it affects her almost like kryptonite does Superman. I leaned into that metaphor hard. After the collapse of her marriage, she spiraled. She spent years in the company of a dark Jedi, who kept her drug of choice close at hand. That part of her story still feels rich with potential. I want to see how far she can fall, and just how hard she has to fight to come back.
But returning to the romantic angle, handling that aspect of Kat after her failed marriage has always been difficult. I could retcon the story entirely, but I don't want to. That chapter gave rise to an arc I still find emotionally compelling. There were a few other romances in her past beyond her husband, but none of them stuck. Either the writers vanished, or I forced the relationship when it wasn't right.
When I joined Chaos, a few writers offered to explore romance with her. I gave it a try, but nothing clicked. Maybe it's because I'm older now, and that starry-eyed magic just doesn't come as easily. Or maybe it's because Kat has been burned so many times that even I hesitate to let her go there again. Or, and I say this half-jokingly, maybe I'm just too old and romance gives me the icks.
The truth is, romance on forums can get weird. The dynamic often bleeds into OOC territory. People get too invested, too possessive, and the creative pressure can be exhausting. If I were to pursue a romance storyline again, it would need to be something that unfolds organically, slow-burn, imperfect, maybe even doomed. I'd want a partner who's willing to let things fall apart if the story demands it. Someone who's okay with their character cheating, leaving, dying, or turning to the dark side. Someone who won't cage my muse, and whom I won't cage in return. I don't need a fairytale ending, I just need a story that feels real. But that kind of collaborative freedom always seems to rattle people. Romance is serious business on every forum I've ever been part of.
Lately, I've been wondering if I should just take romance into my own hands, introduce an NPC partner and control the narrative fully. A writer I deeply admire, Romi Jade, did that with her character, and the results were beautiful. I wrestle with the idea because I do have a tendency to isolate my characters. Still, maybe that's not a weakness, maybe it's just a part of how I write.
Whatever path I choose, I know this: I want to give Kat a child. I want to dive deeper into her addiction arc and explore her relationship with the dark side, how it tempts her, breaks her, and maybe even helps her find redemption. I want her to confront her mistakes… and probably make a few more before she finds peace.
The real question is:
Does she take that journey with an NPC man at her side, or do I take another chance and let someone else write that story with me?
