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The weight of Exegol:
It's been some time since I last wrote one of these, yet in the past, I've found the reflective practice to be helpful in documenting my thoughts and giving myself the space to express myself without affecting anyone else in a negative light.
As a member of the wider Jedi Order, whether that be a part of the Order of the Silver Jedi, the New Jedi Order or an individual Jedi Knight set on my own path, I have often been faced with the horrific experience and duty of frontline battle.
It's only been a number of days since returning from Exegol, where I once again found myself forced to take up the lightsaber in the name of deterrence and hopeful peace one day. The Brotherhood of the Maw had been a longtime opposition to the prospect of peace in the Galaxy. I had not taken up the fight alongside my peers in the Galactic Alliance previously as my move to transfer over to the New Jedi Order followed many of the larger battles that my peers have faced. This time, on Exegol, it was my duty to participate. After all, inaction enables those with a thirst for hostility.
Forced to take a number of lives on the Maw side, I did what had to be done in order to defend myself and assist Strike Team Windu in ensuring that the rest of the Alliance Forces were given able entrance to the Forbidden District and subsequently the Sith Fortress. Yet I took no pleasure in the act, and still, I'm reminded of my teachings from the Je'daii Order as a child. As awful and destructive as the Sith and their creations may be, life is still a life and the act of killing is not something I believe I will ever achieve without the weight of guilt upon my conscience. This is what I have found to be the most difficult burden to carry as a Jedi, for we are often given little choice when faced with violent offenders, let alone soldiers on the battlefield.
On the subject of war and the mention of a soldier's duty, this is where we as Jedi differ. This is where I struggle with the line of duty and the values of the Jedi Code. The concept of 'the lesser of two evils' comes to mind here. Part of me wants to believe that taking up the fight on the war front will help to inevitably deter those who look to oppress other nations and peoples. Then there is another part of me that argues about the cost of doing so, and how much we lose within ourselves in the name of peace.
Free will is a sentient right and Jedi seek not to remove this from others, but to uphold the values of the Jedi Code that is taught to us in our younger years, and expected of us to teach to our own students. My Padawan Ariana Du Couteau for example has been engaged in countless wartime missions from a young age and I wonder the effect this has on her mind and direction as a servant of the Force and of the People. What bias do they grow up with, even as Jedi, when the taking of another life is encouraged in our duty as Jedi; there is a huge difference between service and duty on the streets and at a civilian level compared to out there on the frontlines of warfare.
When we are forced to fight to defend ourselves or others in the streets of Coruscant for example, there is a far greater allowance for a peaceful outcome. We are expected to keep the peace and ensure the well-being of others. We are reminded of this on a daily basis as we look to serve the people.
Entering a battlefield however is much more difficult to see how this can be accomplished. The hostility is already set in stone and it's an 'us versus them' mentality that you enter with. If we don't defeat them, they will defeat us. There's no room for a middle ground on such a large scale of numbers and destructive weaponry.
Sometimes I wonder if my peers see me as a pacifist, viewing this as a weakness or hindrance to the Order. This is however what I believe should lay at the core of every Jedi so as to discourage us from abusing our role and ability to use the Force. If there is no part of us that discourages violence, then we appear little better than the Sith when it comes to Jedi taking part in open warfare. We aren't soldiers, and nothing should become so black and white that we forget ourselves and the original purpose of the Jedi Order.
Countless times we have been influenced by politics, and this continues to be an unfortunate necessity in the core world's today. This is something that I didn't see so much of a hindrance to our service back in the Rimward Trade League as the organization acted less as a governing body and more focused on stabilizing the Outer Rim, seeking to ease the lives of the world's otherwise disconnected and left to their own means in the wild expanse.
Can the Senate be trusted to act in the best interests of the Galaxy without guidance from the New Jedi Order? I'm not sure that's a question I can answer given my little time spent on Coruscant compared to my peers, however, I am certain the Council offers assistance in maintaining a positive direction in line with the values of the code, the prosperity of people who do not have such socio-economic privileges as those on the upper levels possess.
Clearly, my mind is wandering as I write this, as I initially intended to focus on the subject of the Wall of Light and the controversy that I see behind Jedi practising such a power. These concerns have long been questions and uncertainties that I battle within myself, not only here on Coruscant but even concerning the Order of the Silver Jedi and their reliance upon the Silver Concord which was later established as the governing body of Silver Space. I do not oppose Politics or resent politicians in any sense, there is without question a necessity for the Galaxy to thrive with some sense of order and leadership, but it is the weight of their authority and how it might sway our role as Jedi that I find myself questioning often. At the very least, I feel these questions are worth asking in order to keep myself in check with my duty and my personal principles.
The Wall of Light:
As for the Wall of Light that was established on Exegol. The controversy that I see behind such a power is the destruction in which it is capable of. I do not speak of this with any certainty for or against the action where Exegol is concerned, as I believe without it the battle would surely have been lost. I am however forced to consider how many lives were eradicated due to such power being unleashed upon those of the opposing side.
In every battle, there are perceptions of right and wrong that oppose one another and the Jedi and the Sith are no exception to this rule. Not just today but since the very first civil war between Force Users in ancient times of the Je'daii Order where the followers of Ashla (the light) first rejected the followers of Bogan (the Darkside) out of fear of what they could do. Keywords in there, "fear of what they could do". This is why it's so important for us today to act upon an educated decision, one that isn't solely made from one bias, but can look beyond our own perception and to consider those that we might otherwise disagree with.
There is no doubt that war is hell. Even when there is a victor, no one side really comes out victorious. Lives are lost on both sides and the tragic effect that war has upon the world it is fought upon, often times scars the land for generations to come. As the Force is made up of all life, this includes natural life such as the land, rivers, sky and animal life. Not merely those sentient. Thus the cost of war poses a grave wound upon the Force itself, and this is sometimes felt when a Force Nexus has been left in the aftermath of such devastating and unnatural passing of life.
How do we as Jedi justify such a thing due to our differences with the Sith, or with opposing armies? Are we really given a choice in the act of warfare? As I've stated already, inaction only further enables those who seek to threaten the rights of civil society. What comes from these thoughts is a debate that can seem endless and without a solution.
These questions have often caused distance between Jedi such as the origins of the Silver Jedi Order when they parted from the Republic of old. To not question these things, however, would prove to encourage ignorance and arrogance in our role as Jedi and our views towards the greater Galaxy. I presume that these questions are one difference that separates us as Jedi from those of the Sith, but that is merely an assumption and such things can often encourage bias in our perceptions.
These are my thoughts and questions of late, following Exegol. Are the Jedi right to have unleashed a power so devastating upon the opposition, one which forced a high number of lives to be brought to an abrupt halt? Was there an alternative that would have seen the battle come to an end? And are we relying too much on the outcome of warfare to justify our role in the Galaxy or have we blurred the lines between the role of a peacekeeper and that of a Soldier? Have we become an authoritarian Order, instead of one that discourages oppression yet does not enforce our will upon that of others? Where is the line drawn?
My Master comes to mind during these times. My days off are often accompanied by these silent discussions and her teachings as a Je'daii have held such a significant impact on my life, especially now within the Jedi Order where I see how different the two organizations really are. I wish I could say that I am doing her tutelage justice and that I've lived up to the life that she might have wanted for me. I'm less than certain of that, for she spoke of her opinion many a time and discouraged the same black-and-white thinking that often sets the Jedi and the Sith apart from one another. Something as simple as referring to the Force in halves, the Light and the Dark, as though they do not work in cohesion with one another but oppose each other.
I can only hope to continue to do what I feel is right, guided by my learnings from both the Je'daii and Jedi Orders of my time, but most especially focusing on the guidance I receive from the Force itself. Sentient life is heavily influenced by our own history, and discourse that has come from the stories of our past struggles. Stories that can easily be adapted to suit the perceived victor of such times. I respect the ideals and beliefs of those around me, yet place my faith in the will of the Force itself. Perhaps that is why, despite my questions and uncertainties, I have been able to carry on in my service.
One way or another, time will tell.
The weight of Exegol:
It's been some time since I last wrote one of these, yet in the past, I've found the reflective practice to be helpful in documenting my thoughts and giving myself the space to express myself without affecting anyone else in a negative light.
As a member of the wider Jedi Order, whether that be a part of the Order of the Silver Jedi, the New Jedi Order or an individual Jedi Knight set on my own path, I have often been faced with the horrific experience and duty of frontline battle.
It's only been a number of days since returning from Exegol, where I once again found myself forced to take up the lightsaber in the name of deterrence and hopeful peace one day. The Brotherhood of the Maw had been a longtime opposition to the prospect of peace in the Galaxy. I had not taken up the fight alongside my peers in the Galactic Alliance previously as my move to transfer over to the New Jedi Order followed many of the larger battles that my peers have faced. This time, on Exegol, it was my duty to participate. After all, inaction enables those with a thirst for hostility.
Forced to take a number of lives on the Maw side, I did what had to be done in order to defend myself and assist Strike Team Windu in ensuring that the rest of the Alliance Forces were given able entrance to the Forbidden District and subsequently the Sith Fortress. Yet I took no pleasure in the act, and still, I'm reminded of my teachings from the Je'daii Order as a child. As awful and destructive as the Sith and their creations may be, life is still a life and the act of killing is not something I believe I will ever achieve without the weight of guilt upon my conscience. This is what I have found to be the most difficult burden to carry as a Jedi, for we are often given little choice when faced with violent offenders, let alone soldiers on the battlefield.
On the subject of war and the mention of a soldier's duty, this is where we as Jedi differ. This is where I struggle with the line of duty and the values of the Jedi Code. The concept of 'the lesser of two evils' comes to mind here. Part of me wants to believe that taking up the fight on the war front will help to inevitably deter those who look to oppress other nations and peoples. Then there is another part of me that argues about the cost of doing so, and how much we lose within ourselves in the name of peace.
Free will is a sentient right and Jedi seek not to remove this from others, but to uphold the values of the Jedi Code that is taught to us in our younger years, and expected of us to teach to our own students. My Padawan Ariana Du Couteau for example has been engaged in countless wartime missions from a young age and I wonder the effect this has on her mind and direction as a servant of the Force and of the People. What bias do they grow up with, even as Jedi, when the taking of another life is encouraged in our duty as Jedi; there is a huge difference between service and duty on the streets and at a civilian level compared to out there on the frontlines of warfare.
When we are forced to fight to defend ourselves or others in the streets of Coruscant for example, there is a far greater allowance for a peaceful outcome. We are expected to keep the peace and ensure the well-being of others. We are reminded of this on a daily basis as we look to serve the people.
Entering a battlefield however is much more difficult to see how this can be accomplished. The hostility is already set in stone and it's an 'us versus them' mentality that you enter with. If we don't defeat them, they will defeat us. There's no room for a middle ground on such a large scale of numbers and destructive weaponry.
Sometimes I wonder if my peers see me as a pacifist, viewing this as a weakness or hindrance to the Order. This is however what I believe should lay at the core of every Jedi so as to discourage us from abusing our role and ability to use the Force. If there is no part of us that discourages violence, then we appear little better than the Sith when it comes to Jedi taking part in open warfare. We aren't soldiers, and nothing should become so black and white that we forget ourselves and the original purpose of the Jedi Order.
Countless times we have been influenced by politics, and this continues to be an unfortunate necessity in the core world's today. This is something that I didn't see so much of a hindrance to our service back in the Rimward Trade League as the organization acted less as a governing body and more focused on stabilizing the Outer Rim, seeking to ease the lives of the world's otherwise disconnected and left to their own means in the wild expanse.
Can the Senate be trusted to act in the best interests of the Galaxy without guidance from the New Jedi Order? I'm not sure that's a question I can answer given my little time spent on Coruscant compared to my peers, however, I am certain the Council offers assistance in maintaining a positive direction in line with the values of the code, the prosperity of people who do not have such socio-economic privileges as those on the upper levels possess.
Clearly, my mind is wandering as I write this, as I initially intended to focus on the subject of the Wall of Light and the controversy that I see behind Jedi practising such a power. These concerns have long been questions and uncertainties that I battle within myself, not only here on Coruscant but even concerning the Order of the Silver Jedi and their reliance upon the Silver Concord which was later established as the governing body of Silver Space. I do not oppose Politics or resent politicians in any sense, there is without question a necessity for the Galaxy to thrive with some sense of order and leadership, but it is the weight of their authority and how it might sway our role as Jedi that I find myself questioning often. At the very least, I feel these questions are worth asking in order to keep myself in check with my duty and my personal principles.
The Wall of Light:
As for the Wall of Light that was established on Exegol. The controversy that I see behind such a power is the destruction in which it is capable of. I do not speak of this with any certainty for or against the action where Exegol is concerned, as I believe without it the battle would surely have been lost. I am however forced to consider how many lives were eradicated due to such power being unleashed upon those of the opposing side.
In every battle, there are perceptions of right and wrong that oppose one another and the Jedi and the Sith are no exception to this rule. Not just today but since the very first civil war between Force Users in ancient times of the Je'daii Order where the followers of Ashla (the light) first rejected the followers of Bogan (the Darkside) out of fear of what they could do. Keywords in there, "fear of what they could do". This is why it's so important for us today to act upon an educated decision, one that isn't solely made from one bias, but can look beyond our own perception and to consider those that we might otherwise disagree with.
There is no doubt that war is hell. Even when there is a victor, no one side really comes out victorious. Lives are lost on both sides and the tragic effect that war has upon the world it is fought upon, often times scars the land for generations to come. As the Force is made up of all life, this includes natural life such as the land, rivers, sky and animal life. Not merely those sentient. Thus the cost of war poses a grave wound upon the Force itself, and this is sometimes felt when a Force Nexus has been left in the aftermath of such devastating and unnatural passing of life.
How do we as Jedi justify such a thing due to our differences with the Sith, or with opposing armies? Are we really given a choice in the act of warfare? As I've stated already, inaction only further enables those who seek to threaten the rights of civil society. What comes from these thoughts is a debate that can seem endless and without a solution.
These questions have often caused distance between Jedi such as the origins of the Silver Jedi Order when they parted from the Republic of old. To not question these things, however, would prove to encourage ignorance and arrogance in our role as Jedi and our views towards the greater Galaxy. I presume that these questions are one difference that separates us as Jedi from those of the Sith, but that is merely an assumption and such things can often encourage bias in our perceptions.
These are my thoughts and questions of late, following Exegol. Are the Jedi right to have unleashed a power so devastating upon the opposition, one which forced a high number of lives to be brought to an abrupt halt? Was there an alternative that would have seen the battle come to an end? And are we relying too much on the outcome of warfare to justify our role in the Galaxy or have we blurred the lines between the role of a peacekeeper and that of a Soldier? Have we become an authoritarian Order, instead of one that discourages oppression yet does not enforce our will upon that of others? Where is the line drawn?
My Master comes to mind during these times. My days off are often accompanied by these silent discussions and her teachings as a Je'daii have held such a significant impact on my life, especially now within the Jedi Order where I see how different the two organizations really are. I wish I could say that I am doing her tutelage justice and that I've lived up to the life that she might have wanted for me. I'm less than certain of that, for she spoke of her opinion many a time and discouraged the same black-and-white thinking that often sets the Jedi and the Sith apart from one another. Something as simple as referring to the Force in halves, the Light and the Dark, as though they do not work in cohesion with one another but oppose each other.
I can only hope to continue to do what I feel is right, guided by my learnings from both the Je'daii and Jedi Orders of my time, but most especially focusing on the guidance I receive from the Force itself. Sentient life is heavily influenced by our own history, and discourse that has come from the stories of our past struggles. Stories that can easily be adapted to suit the perceived victor of such times. I respect the ideals and beliefs of those around me, yet place my faith in the will of the Force itself. Perhaps that is why, despite my questions and uncertainties, I have been able to carry on in my service.
One way or another, time will tell.
