Subject: The Past, Present & Future.
Location: The Repertoire (x).
Is it enough to have faith in one's journey, that I continue to walk the path built upon the teachings of a potentially biased point of view?
I realize this sounds like a very negative question to pose, yet I feel that there's greater value behind asking these things, which cause discomfort and are often difficult to ask for it goes against the grain of what we're taught.
I've been with the Order of the Silver Jedi for a long time now since the Je'daii of my younger days disbanded. I served alongside the Outer Planets Alliance and restored the Enclave of Svivren to fall under the Jedi Academy Network, yet even so I still kept in regular contact and inevitably returned when the Silver Assembly asked me to take charge over Kyra's training.
There is a wealth of history there, both mine and my fathers, that I have chosen to leave behind as I now venture out on my own to learn what it means to be a Jedi Knight. Not as part of an institution but as an individual, an identity not bestowed or handed down to me from someone on high, but one that I seek to understand and earn through communion with the Force, experience guided by its will and service to the Galaxy in whatever form that should take, to whoever needs it.
To some this may seem impulsive, for I have talked to only two in the recent weeks about my feelings and questions, Master Quill and Master Heavenshield, both I have confidence in for differing reasons, both whose input I greatly value for their experience far surpasses my own and even that of my fathers.
Master Heavenshield went so far as to teach me to further immerse myself within meditation, to such a deep state where we were able to reach a plane of existence between this life and the next, that which he guided me in contacting my father by my choosing as opposed to the rare appearance known to show themselves at opportune times for some few fortunate enough. To say that this learning was invaluable would not do it justice...
When I did return to the Silver Rest, however, I learned that Valen had somehow managed to leave the Silver Jedi without informing anyone or even be seen on his way out. Were he to meet with a fellow Knight or Master, he would have been encouraged to return to his quarters and contact me. I would be impressed, if not for how concerned I am for the boy's well-being. He was so determined to find answers about who he really is, that I fear he may do something brash and dangerous. The Disciples of Typhojem are his only lead to go on...-And I returned too late to intervene. I have since reached out to all contacts I can think of, to see if he doesn't show up somewhere and word reach me of his safety.
Now that I am no longer beholden to the restrictions put on the Order by the Silver Concord, free to act as I see fit, I plan to delve deeper into investigating the Cult through Loreena's investigation network. I will have plenty of time on my hands as I am now on my own, I feel that much of my time will be spent aboard the Repertoire in between worlds, able to use the time to reflect on my experiences while Lexas oversees the movements of the ship.
One thing I am uncertain about is whether my Padawan will understand my decision. The irony of the situation hasn't escaped me: She who was so determined to get away from Kashyyyk, where I was so eager to discourage her once. Now it seems I am, in a sense, following in her footsteps. Though my sister hasn't fallen prey to the Sith Empire as Nida had during Kyra's time away.
I will need to make time to speak with Kyra about everything, though I'll need to choose the moment wisely for she herself is still feeling the weight of her personal struggles, and I do not want to hinder any progress she has thus far made.
At present, I am making my return to Mnemosyne. I intend to gather some of my belongings to be stored aboard the ship and to also contact the House of Commons to inform them of my prolonged absence. With Loreena so heavily involved in the Eclipse Rebellion and now my obligations no longer being so confined to Silver Space, I may not be as present as I have been. Thankfully our parents had the sense to establish a constitutional monarchy, where our roles are almost solely honorific titles least a state of emergency is declared. Either way, I will make sure to get my affairs in order before leaving.
For now, I shall seek a much-needed rest, and do so feeling free of the weight I have been carrying for some time now.
