Cunning | Courage | Discipline | Preparedness
It's been about three years. Three whole years on my own. I don't think I can put into words how much it pains me to write that. Each waking day is a struggle without you by my side. Doing all of this by myself won't be easy in any circumstance but it'll be worth it in the end. Just like you were. Your warmth has guided me through these cold, dark days that've seen me cast away by brothers and sisters. Our family. The Ascendancy never cared much for those that were different yet I still can't bring myself to hate them. Or even despise them. I know what they did was right, it was for the greater good. It was merely cauterizing the wound before it festered.
I'm going back one of these days, Otoma. Once I'm strong enough. Life with the Sith has not been easy at all, though I'm sure you're well aware of that fact. Turning passion and strength into victory is quite possibly the most asinine and difficult thing I've ever tried. It's a feeling unlike any other and yet I can barely feel it - the Force. It ebbs and flows weakly, just like that little stream that would freeze over in Ac'siel. I don't think our kind were ever meant to reach out and touch this invisible hand. Despite that, I've been doing my best. The coursework has been a breeze albeit quite abstract and philosophical. Many of the beings that come through the academy are just like you would've imagined: self-serving, arrogant, and fearful.
I am nothing like them.
I never will be.
They walk without purpose in their steps, conceal their forms with cloaks, and whisper energetically to one another about dreams of power and grandeur. They're foolish and short-sighted little dreams, mind you. Ones about becoming the greatest warrior in the galaxy that'll tear through his enemies in cleaving blows. Dreams about ascending to power, leading armies into battle and destroying anything that opposes them. You'll notice the similarities in these 'noble' pursuits: destruction. These people don't create.
I will. I'm going to create something that you would be proud of. This institution will fall and I will be the last one standing; the one who'll rebuild it in my own image. Our image.
I can almost hear you chastising me for rambling.
Thank you for letting me get all of that off my chest. Thank you for everything.