From the opening titles complete with Egyptian-style font, music and hieroglyphics, you just know this is a typical Hollywood spin on myth and legend for the Western audience. I won’t go into the “white-washing casting” controversy about white/European/Australian/Asian actors cast as Egyptian Gods, but you need to turn your brain off from the start because this isn’t even trying to be the ancient Egypt we know – it’s creating an Egypt and universe 15 year olds would make playing ‘Age Of Empires’.

Numerous shiny pyramids and huge palaces, sprawling cities, enormous golden statues and obelisks, giant flying insects, a space worm, a chariot flying through space and human-beast transformations. It’s like ‘X-Men’ meets ‘Flash Gordon’, but not as enjoyable or memorable.

The main issue with this film, and there are many to choose from, is the casting. Near unknowns lead a film with the potential to spawn straight-to-DVD sequels. Gerard Butler is probably the most recognised name and face here, growling and gurning and shouting for all his worth in that inimitable Butler way; a Scottish Egyptian King who is a shadow of what Butler created as Greek King Leonidas in ‘300’ with not nearly enough charm, drive, brutality or material to work with to avoid being a cardboard 2D bad-guy. It’s a shame because the man can do dumb action, we know, and he can sing behind the Phantom mask, but this? It’s pushing him closer to the straight-to-DVD bargain bin.

Also featuring is our very own Thurion Heavenshield - going under the guise of actor Nikolaj Coster-Waldau- known for his role in ‘Game Of Thrones’. He seems to be a decent actor but, again, he’s not in the right film to showcase this. Oddly enough, his frame and posture couple with the way the film is shot gives him a permanent artificial look – he looks like a CG character, and it’s quite jarring at times. Regardless of the fact all those playing Gods are CG’d in with mortal characters to be bigger, the whole set up just looks odd and nothing looks natural. Still, at least I can picture and hear him on Chaos now much easier.

Even the supporting cast of relatively unknowns like budget Orlando Bloom-wannabe Brenton Thwaites, Chadwick Boseman (stick to Marvel), Élodie Yung and a distractingly busty Courtney Eaton try to act their way through CGI locations against stand-ins for their CG enhanced co-stars. It’s like George Lucas came out of retirement to create a new fantasy franchise with awful CGI in all aspects. And Geoffrey Rush? He’s like the Morgan Freeman of the film; his face and voice add some level of quality to the scenes he’s in, but he doesn’t really do much to warrant him being there at all.

The story is fantastical in the respect that we travel to outer-space and the Underworld in a mish-mash of Egyptian myth given a “alternative universe” twist. It doesn’t work really. It makes ‘Clash Of The Titans’ looks far more superior in terms of story and sticking to myth and folklore we all know.

This just has Gods morphing into CGI animals, like a strange Power Ranger homage, and lots of dizzying camera work in the action scenes. And bucket-loads of slo-mo. It’s one big cliché of trying to create a fantasy epic. In fact, the whole thing reminded me of a strange Egyptian-based ‘Lord Of The Rings’. From the small mortal men (Hobbits) travelling with Gods (Humans) after a powerful relic (Eye of Horus), travelling across dangerous and danger ridden lands (Egypt) to confront a villain in a fiery hideout with a CGI army (Set and his Sphinx).

I mean, it sounds enjoyable enough on page, but there is such a lack of energy and charisma from the stars that it soon gets boring as we move from scene to scene dragging out a story that is very under-whelming on the whole. ‘Gods Of Egypt’ offers nothing new to the genre and doesn’t do any favours for any of its stars, and gives us little to be excited about or take away from once the credits roll.