Lily's eyes were unfocused, the acid rain carving tracks down the transparisteel of the cockpit as the call connected, her mind lost in recent memories the sounds of the undead echoing in her ears. She blinked as the blue image flickered to life revealing her cousin.
A frown creased her forehead, he looked like he'd been through hell. Though she knew she wasn't much better. "Well, you look like chit."
When he had received the request to talk he had been tempted to reject it outright, after all that he had been through on Yavin, all that he had seen, and after a day of grievous injury and battle, he simply did not have the energy to speak with one who was so… difficult.
Of course, that was not Lillian's fault, the rational side of his mind broke the emotional, and he knew if she was the one calling him, it would certainly be important enough to warrant it.
After all, they could hardly be called particularly close even after Lillian finally accepted they were in fact, family. Time would mend that, he hoped.
But rejecting requests to talk would actively harm it.
In retrospect it was incredibly fortunate that he had, his red eyes widening at the sight of the young woman before him. If he looked like a man on his last legs… she could hardly be said to be in a much better state.
"Likewise…" He gave her a careful, and analytical up and down, with far from subtle hints of sombreness and worry, "What happened to you, Lillian? Where are you? Do you want me-" Rapid fire and urgent questions were cut off by the reminder of his own state, "Do you want me to send someone to get you?" And of course the most important question, "Are you safe?"
Lily tilted her head scowling slightly at the use of the name he'd uncovered for her, she hated it. She hated the link it created to a family that had left her behind.
"Lily." she corrected him, "Safe is a subjective word. I'm on Vjun, I came here with refugees from Celanon. And no, I don't need you to send anyone to get me, I can take care of myself Malum. You look like someone hit you with a freighter. What happened?"
In any other circumstance, he might have smirked at her reaction, teasing her for her denials of the truth, hiding the hurt that she, even if accepting herself as family, still would not accept herself as part of the House.
Not yet, anyway.
In any other circumstance, she was not confessing to being at ground zero of where the Sith advance was pouring through. His blood froze at the admission, his mouth drying, eyes widening a degree as the mask of the noble cracked.
Cracked like the rest of his body, marred by injury and wound alike.
"What do you mean you are at Vjun?! You need to leave, immediately!" He hissed out, grasping at his chest as his sudden movement, the surprise of the reveal sent the equivalent of a blasterbolt searing through his system, completely ignoring her question.
Her scowl deepened. "That's not happening," she said flatly. "I was on Celenon, Malum. I know I said I was going to Jaibrek, going home to Velok but something pulled me there."
She recalled one of the first lessons Velok had given her. Trust your instincts. "I had to go, I had to be there." Swallowing the lump that formed in her throat, horror reflected in her light brown eyes as the recent events came flooding back to her. "It was… awful. The kids… I saw people torn apart."
Her voice wavered.
"Malum, how could you be a part of something so vile?"
He blinked, and then he blinked again. Then he was grinding his teeth, as red eyes flared up with passionate and blazing flame. She had no right to judge him, she had no right to look at him in such a way, she had no right to look at him with that wavering voice, those softening eyes.
He only had ever done what was necessary.
He had only ever done what was ordered.
"The Alliance knew this was coming, we battled on Thule and Odacer-Faustin, and they knew we would fight back, they could have evacuated the systems so much earlier... but the Jedi have never been shy about using children in the frontline... I followed my Emperor's orders, and I saved all that I could."
"Oh, of course, it's everyone else's fault." She snapped, her expression hardening "The great Malum of House Marr holds no responsibility for the damage he's caused." She shook her head, eyes brimming with angry tears. "You should see it for yourself come and stand amid the orphans you've created, among the people whose families are dead. You should hear their thoughts." Lily opened herself to the force, reaching for his mind, far away as he was, seeing him before her made it all the easier. She opened her own to him letting the thousands of voices she heard, the thoughts that assailed her now battered into him. It was vicious, backed by her growing frustration and so very unlike her, but at this moment she was all anger.
He ground his teeth to dust, breathing hard all the wounds he had taken in the battle making themselves very much felt. "I am not avoiding responsibility, simply stating the facts of the matter, I struck no child, and killed no civilian, indeed, where I was stationed on Yavin, I only fought Alliance forces, only fought the Sword and Shield of the Jedi, barely survived the encounter..." As the voices flooded him, he hissed out, forcibly shutting his mind off, banishing her effort from his skull, "How many children were butchered when the Sith Empire fell? How many women were carted off, kidnapped and killed too? How many fathers would never return home? You think tragedy and pain are something inherent in the Sith, but it is only inherent in the one thing all the Galactic powers engage in war. My people felt the same tragedy that theirs do, and have felt it for millennia, and it will only stop when the Sith are allowed to exist, when we have established order and peace," He was breathing heavily now, anger and rage making themselves plain as he moved forward despite the pain, despite the agony, "I told you to stay out of my mind, I meant that Lily." He hissed out, hollowed and anguished.
The anger grew, and the assault continued, hammering against the walls he drew up. The tears that had lingered in her gaze, became hot as they carved tracks down her filthy face at his admission. Yavin. He was at Yavin where it had all started, where the undead were now pouring from across the sector. She had wanted him to tell her that he hadn't been a part of it. That he had deliberately avoided it. But to sit and justify it? Death upon death. War upon war. It made her sick.
"These aren't Alliance people Malum! This isn't Alliance space! There is a huge difference between casualties and orphans of war and those that have been deliberately targeted to lure the Alliance out to fight. There is no way you can justify this, no way you can talk your way around it." she slammed a fist into the ship's console, her eyes glowing red briefly "You are a disgrace, Malum. And I am ashamed to call you family."
Silence pervaded the conversation, where fire once held command, now his heart grew heavy, as shards shattered off, he never thought an acknowledgement of family would be accompanied by shame. Her words had utterly silenced him, the emotions still simmered beneath the surface, but a lid had been forcibly placed upon it.
One that he had not necessarily placed.
"You are right..." He finally admitted, "...This... this is not what I wanted..." He gazed away, to a view far away that he could not even entirely see, "The Emperor, Kaine, and Darth Caedes came up with this, and I am but the loyal foot soldier," He breathed out slowly, calming his nerves, calming his emotions, his hand placed over his amulet, as anger and rage gave way to a strange serenity, with just the hint of sombreness, "There is no honour in war, but there is an honourable way to fight... this was not the way, yet I can only follow, for one who was a traitor once to the Sith, I can only fight, for if I do not if I refuse, I cannot..." His voice quietened, "...I cannot make them better, I cannot make the Sith what I know they can be, I cannot restore us to our true purpose..." He gave a weak chuckle, "...I will not be able to make us something you may be proud of... but you could at least accept."
His finger rested over the button to end their transmission, but he hesitated still, "You may be ashamed to call me family, but you Lillian of House Marr, will always be my family, and though most of our... destinies... our... fates..." His lips visibly frowned over the words before continuing, "...Will be with the Sith, will be with the Dark, your name means you will always excel at whatever you do, and you will always make me proud of whoever you will become."
It was the closest she would get to an admission of guilt from him. She closed her eyes, her anger dissipating as she bowed her head, leaving a heavy weight settling on her as she closed her mind off from him and from the refugees, sitting in silence for a moment.
She sniffed, wiped the tears from her face and looked back at him. Had Valery really done this to him? She could have killed him. She was surprised by the pain that thought caused her, raising a wave of sorrow in her. Now was not the time.
Her voice was quiet and calm when she finally spoke again. Though the tears still rolled unchecked, there was no stopping them.
"There is always a choice, Malum. You can make the right one now." There was hope in her gaze, mixed with desperation. She needed him to do the right thing, she needed to know that she could help him.
"I understand you are caught between a rock and a hard place. But help me help these people, Malum, please. I don't care about the Jedi or the Sith, just the people caught up in this mess."
Malum smiled a weak smile, "Do not cry Lillian, you are stronger than that," Hypocritical speech from a hypocritical man, who himself battling wound and emotional struggle, was not far from tears himself, "I choose the Sith with all my heart, for all my people's crimes and horrors, it will be us who bring freedom to the galaxy, true freedom, we have gone too far in the past, even now, but that cannot be changed if I simply leave to fight against my people. They needed to be guided, I will show them how we are meant to be."
She hesitated, she never asked for anything from him, and she certainly didn't want to ask this. This was too much, but for the first time in her life, she could make a difference. She had a link to give her that power and she would be a fool not to use it.
"Give me access to funds, I can purchase supplies, a bigger ship and anything else I need to help keep these people safe."
His smile widened as she pressed onward, and she had the temerity and courage to ask a favour from one she was still clearly uncertain of, "I did not think my words when I spoke them would come true so quickly," A chuckle broke out of his lungs, as he palmed a nearby datapad, "A humanitarian, it certainly fits you, and perhaps... perhaps... I will be able to wipe even a fraction of this blood off my hands," His voice quietened, "But I doubt that..." His eyes, an orange glimmer having taken hold since he calmed, focused on hers, it was by pure happenstance that she did not have the features of their great ancestor, but somehow, someway, he felt the great Darth Marr would be proud of the young woman before him, "...Anything you need and more, will be granted."
Relief and joy spread through her, and she wiped the last of her tears away. A dozen plans were formulating in her mind. She smiled at him, it was a sad smile, but it was still a smile.
"Thank you, cousin."
Written in conjunction with Lily Rhodes
A frown creased her forehead, he looked like he'd been through hell. Though she knew she wasn't much better. "Well, you look like chit."
When he had received the request to talk he had been tempted to reject it outright, after all that he had been through on Yavin, all that he had seen, and after a day of grievous injury and battle, he simply did not have the energy to speak with one who was so… difficult.
Of course, that was not Lillian's fault, the rational side of his mind broke the emotional, and he knew if she was the one calling him, it would certainly be important enough to warrant it.
After all, they could hardly be called particularly close even after Lillian finally accepted they were in fact, family. Time would mend that, he hoped.
But rejecting requests to talk would actively harm it.
In retrospect it was incredibly fortunate that he had, his red eyes widening at the sight of the young woman before him. If he looked like a man on his last legs… she could hardly be said to be in a much better state.
"Likewise…" He gave her a careful, and analytical up and down, with far from subtle hints of sombreness and worry, "What happened to you, Lillian? Where are you? Do you want me-" Rapid fire and urgent questions were cut off by the reminder of his own state, "Do you want me to send someone to get you?" And of course the most important question, "Are you safe?"
Lily tilted her head scowling slightly at the use of the name he'd uncovered for her, she hated it. She hated the link it created to a family that had left her behind.
"Lily." she corrected him, "Safe is a subjective word. I'm on Vjun, I came here with refugees from Celanon. And no, I don't need you to send anyone to get me, I can take care of myself Malum. You look like someone hit you with a freighter. What happened?"
In any other circumstance, he might have smirked at her reaction, teasing her for her denials of the truth, hiding the hurt that she, even if accepting herself as family, still would not accept herself as part of the House.
Not yet, anyway.
In any other circumstance, she was not confessing to being at ground zero of where the Sith advance was pouring through. His blood froze at the admission, his mouth drying, eyes widening a degree as the mask of the noble cracked.
Cracked like the rest of his body, marred by injury and wound alike.
"What do you mean you are at Vjun?! You need to leave, immediately!" He hissed out, grasping at his chest as his sudden movement, the surprise of the reveal sent the equivalent of a blasterbolt searing through his system, completely ignoring her question.
Her scowl deepened. "That's not happening," she said flatly. "I was on Celenon, Malum. I know I said I was going to Jaibrek, going home to Velok but something pulled me there."
She recalled one of the first lessons Velok had given her. Trust your instincts. "I had to go, I had to be there." Swallowing the lump that formed in her throat, horror reflected in her light brown eyes as the recent events came flooding back to her. "It was… awful. The kids… I saw people torn apart."
Her voice wavered.
"Malum, how could you be a part of something so vile?"
He blinked, and then he blinked again. Then he was grinding his teeth, as red eyes flared up with passionate and blazing flame. She had no right to judge him, she had no right to look at him in such a way, she had no right to look at him with that wavering voice, those softening eyes.
He only had ever done what was necessary.
He had only ever done what was ordered.
"The Alliance knew this was coming, we battled on Thule and Odacer-Faustin, and they knew we would fight back, they could have evacuated the systems so much earlier... but the Jedi have never been shy about using children in the frontline... I followed my Emperor's orders, and I saved all that I could."
"Oh, of course, it's everyone else's fault." She snapped, her expression hardening "The great Malum of House Marr holds no responsibility for the damage he's caused." She shook her head, eyes brimming with angry tears. "You should see it for yourself come and stand amid the orphans you've created, among the people whose families are dead. You should hear their thoughts." Lily opened herself to the force, reaching for his mind, far away as he was, seeing him before her made it all the easier. She opened her own to him letting the thousands of voices she heard, the thoughts that assailed her now battered into him. It was vicious, backed by her growing frustration and so very unlike her, but at this moment she was all anger.
He ground his teeth to dust, breathing hard all the wounds he had taken in the battle making themselves very much felt. "I am not avoiding responsibility, simply stating the facts of the matter, I struck no child, and killed no civilian, indeed, where I was stationed on Yavin, I only fought Alliance forces, only fought the Sword and Shield of the Jedi, barely survived the encounter..." As the voices flooded him, he hissed out, forcibly shutting his mind off, banishing her effort from his skull, "How many children were butchered when the Sith Empire fell? How many women were carted off, kidnapped and killed too? How many fathers would never return home? You think tragedy and pain are something inherent in the Sith, but it is only inherent in the one thing all the Galactic powers engage in war. My people felt the same tragedy that theirs do, and have felt it for millennia, and it will only stop when the Sith are allowed to exist, when we have established order and peace," He was breathing heavily now, anger and rage making themselves plain as he moved forward despite the pain, despite the agony, "I told you to stay out of my mind, I meant that Lily." He hissed out, hollowed and anguished.
The anger grew, and the assault continued, hammering against the walls he drew up. The tears that had lingered in her gaze, became hot as they carved tracks down her filthy face at his admission. Yavin. He was at Yavin where it had all started, where the undead were now pouring from across the sector. She had wanted him to tell her that he hadn't been a part of it. That he had deliberately avoided it. But to sit and justify it? Death upon death. War upon war. It made her sick.
"These aren't Alliance people Malum! This isn't Alliance space! There is a huge difference between casualties and orphans of war and those that have been deliberately targeted to lure the Alliance out to fight. There is no way you can justify this, no way you can talk your way around it." she slammed a fist into the ship's console, her eyes glowing red briefly "You are a disgrace, Malum. And I am ashamed to call you family."
Silence pervaded the conversation, where fire once held command, now his heart grew heavy, as shards shattered off, he never thought an acknowledgement of family would be accompanied by shame. Her words had utterly silenced him, the emotions still simmered beneath the surface, but a lid had been forcibly placed upon it.
One that he had not necessarily placed.
"You are right..." He finally admitted, "...This... this is not what I wanted..." He gazed away, to a view far away that he could not even entirely see, "The Emperor, Kaine, and Darth Caedes came up with this, and I am but the loyal foot soldier," He breathed out slowly, calming his nerves, calming his emotions, his hand placed over his amulet, as anger and rage gave way to a strange serenity, with just the hint of sombreness, "There is no honour in war, but there is an honourable way to fight... this was not the way, yet I can only follow, for one who was a traitor once to the Sith, I can only fight, for if I do not if I refuse, I cannot..." His voice quietened, "...I cannot make them better, I cannot make the Sith what I know they can be, I cannot restore us to our true purpose..." He gave a weak chuckle, "...I will not be able to make us something you may be proud of... but you could at least accept."
His finger rested over the button to end their transmission, but he hesitated still, "You may be ashamed to call me family, but you Lillian of House Marr, will always be my family, and though most of our... destinies... our... fates..." His lips visibly frowned over the words before continuing, "...Will be with the Sith, will be with the Dark, your name means you will always excel at whatever you do, and you will always make me proud of whoever you will become."
It was the closest she would get to an admission of guilt from him. She closed her eyes, her anger dissipating as she bowed her head, leaving a heavy weight settling on her as she closed her mind off from him and from the refugees, sitting in silence for a moment.
She sniffed, wiped the tears from her face and looked back at him. Had Valery really done this to him? She could have killed him. She was surprised by the pain that thought caused her, raising a wave of sorrow in her. Now was not the time.
Her voice was quiet and calm when she finally spoke again. Though the tears still rolled unchecked, there was no stopping them.
"There is always a choice, Malum. You can make the right one now." There was hope in her gaze, mixed with desperation. She needed him to do the right thing, she needed to know that she could help him.
"I understand you are caught between a rock and a hard place. But help me help these people, Malum, please. I don't care about the Jedi or the Sith, just the people caught up in this mess."
Malum smiled a weak smile, "Do not cry Lillian, you are stronger than that," Hypocritical speech from a hypocritical man, who himself battling wound and emotional struggle, was not far from tears himself, "I choose the Sith with all my heart, for all my people's crimes and horrors, it will be us who bring freedom to the galaxy, true freedom, we have gone too far in the past, even now, but that cannot be changed if I simply leave to fight against my people. They needed to be guided, I will show them how we are meant to be."
She hesitated, she never asked for anything from him, and she certainly didn't want to ask this. This was too much, but for the first time in her life, she could make a difference. She had a link to give her that power and she would be a fool not to use it.
"Give me access to funds, I can purchase supplies, a bigger ship and anything else I need to help keep these people safe."
His smile widened as she pressed onward, and she had the temerity and courage to ask a favour from one she was still clearly uncertain of, "I did not think my words when I spoke them would come true so quickly," A chuckle broke out of his lungs, as he palmed a nearby datapad, "A humanitarian, it certainly fits you, and perhaps... perhaps... I will be able to wipe even a fraction of this blood off my hands," His voice quietened, "But I doubt that..." His eyes, an orange glimmer having taken hold since he calmed, focused on hers, it was by pure happenstance that she did not have the features of their great ancestor, but somehow, someway, he felt the great Darth Marr would be proud of the young woman before him, "...Anything you need and more, will be granted."
Relief and joy spread through her, and she wiped the last of her tears away. A dozen plans were formulating in her mind. She smiled at him, it was a sad smile, but it was still a smile.
"Thank you, cousin."
Written in conjunction with Lily Rhodes
