"All the gear but no idea."

In the various English-speaking militaries around the world, this is a phrase that gets bandied about a lot (mainly to describe the Americans and Air Force airfield guards). This refers to military types with little experience/nous who upon graduating from basic training, go out to the closest military store and buy a bunch of non-issued, "Gucci" kit that they have heard is "good to go" in order to look like an operator. The flip side to this, funnily enough, is that most of the gear they've bought is pretty much useless. If the gear isn't useless, the poor sack who has bought it doesn't know how to use it properly. Sad stories aside ...

Saberstaffs, lightwhips, shotos and other bits and pieces of lightsaber esoterica remind me of that phrase which I hear at least once every three days. I cannot stress this enough, team. Heck, I'll bold it again.


Clear as mud?


Don't worry, guys. I'm not about to smack down something a lot of people love without some sound, nerdy analysis. Strap in, and look on in disgust/worry, as I break down why some popular types of light weapons are basically worthless.

My pet hate. If you love them, I don't blame you. Those choreographed fight scenes with Darth Maul running around doing flips and s*** and making two trained Jedi look like chumps did look pretty cool. You'd be forgiven for thinking they're effective. In fact, I forgive you. I forgive you right now. I love you all. Let me save you from yourselves. Let me break down why if you ever fight someone who knows what they're doing with a saberstaff, you'll end up cutting yourself in half.

Range of Motion
A saberstaff has two blades. They face opposite ways. If you slash from left to right, the tailing blade will slash in the opposite direction, from right to left. The blade of a lightsaber/saberstaff is of a certain length. No matter how long you think it is, it is almost definitely longer than your reach. Therefore:

When you swing your saberstaff at an enemy, you have to severely limit your follow through in order to avoid cutting yourself in half. This means a serious lack of power. This means that an enemy with a single-bladed lightsaber can take advantage of your lack of range of motion and power. He has more liberty to re-direct the your blade. He can even duck your strike and then help it along as it passes across your body, allowing him a massive target area (i.e. your whole body) while you're defenseless. Game set match, every time.

Rotation of Wrists
Extremely important, extremely underutilised, extremely difficult with a saberstaff. Reference Alen's duel with Ashin Varanin on why the rotations of wrists in a duel is so important. With a saberstaff, though, your ability to gain angles and leverage is severely diminished by your need for self-preservation. If you're wielding a saberstaff, any Djem So guy worth his salt will feth you up. It's just how it is. He'll make you eat your own lightsaber. Or he'll make you do the only smart thing you can do ... which is switch off one of your blades.

TL;DR: Rotating wrists is important in duels, and only single-bladed lightsabers can do it properly.

I'll keep this brief. If he gets inside the range of your blade, you're dead. If he uses his lightsaber with the correct speed and use of angles, he can take your weapon from you pretty easily, and then you're dead. Due to the lightwhip's shape, use of telekinesis will seriously mess with its trajectory. You won't be able to hit anyone who knows how to effectively Force push. And then you'll be dead. Any weapon with this many Achilles heels' should be avoided like the plague.

Particularly those used as a defensive weapon of some description. If you need a second, smaller, stupider blade just for defence, you're not applying your primary weapon effectively. Sort it out.

I'm not averse to it in SOME situations. However, please reference how it a) splits your focus and therefore b) slows your reaction time to varying degrees. Only if you're outnumbered, and only if using one blade hasn't worked. Caveat to that. If you haven't used your second lightsaber yet, and you see an opportunity where you can surprise them and wound/kill them, stick em with the pointy end.

I'm too knackered to continue. If you want to argue with me, comments section is below. If you want my opinion on something even more weird and wonderful than those, let me know and I'll do my best to answer you.

Have a nice day!

Kitt Solo's Ex Boyfriend