Datapad Entry 005 - My Place In All Of This - (Tython Hype)

Never thought that I would be writing a journal entry anytime soon.

Last time I was here, the fight on Ziost had ended and I was recovering from my suicide attempt. What was that, quite a few months back now? Years? Constant Hyperspace travel across the stars has crippled my ability to tell the passing time.

I honestly thought I was getting better. I took a step back from the New Jedi Order after the whole Coruscant situation. Not to sound selfish, but I needed a break from it. My body, and my mind, were tired. They were worn. I’m 22, and I feel like I have fought more battles that I have celebrated birthdays.

Which if I’m being truthful, it would be about triple that amount. Dear Force.

But for some reason my body seems to be fueled off the fighting. It’s like a mental shackle I have placed on myself that says I need to help people. That I need to be right there on the front lines, defending the defenseless. It’s the duty of Jedi, isn’t it? We were taught to be keepers of peace, yet wherever I go there is more chaos caused then any remedy being done.




Now I realize when I write these entries. There is no one super close to me that I have to vent on, so I vent onto myself, which in turn just builds up more stress and pain.

I told myself that the journey to Companion Cresh was going to be a personal break, yet the moment I get back I hear that the Maw is threatening to attack Tython. The whole point of the trip was sent down the drain.

While on the trip I induced the effects of Hyper-Rapture onto myself multiple times. I got a high that disconnect me from everything and everyone. For once, I was truly free of all burdens that were on me. There was no worry, there was no stress, there was only the stars.

It was in the recovery period of this high that a made a promise to myself: one more fight. One more fight and I was done with this. Tython would either be my finally resting place as a Jedi, or my final victory.

The Force and it’s following orders seemed to no longer have a place for me. So why fight against an already-set destiny. I’ll be on the war torn surface of Tython fighting till I’ve spent my last bit of Force.

After that, I’m calling it quits. Rules and guidelines were never really my thing anyways. My stuff is going to be packed up and left in Blue Lightning until the fight is over. I’ll go and leave after the fight is over, or someone will find it and see my legacy.

The Maw has caused enough harm to everyone, and I’m not going to stick around and watch my home galaxy burn around me. There are plenty of other stars out there for me to explore.




Sorry, I had to take a break from writing for a minute. Controlling my emotions and impulses is just getting harder and harder. Part of the reason I think it is time for me to no longer be a Jedi.

My time with the orders, whether it be the Silver Jedi, the Imperial Knights, or currently with the New Jedi Order, has been wonderful, but it’s time for a new path.

So I finish with this. The Maw better truly be ready for Tython, be a use in laying it all out on the table. Tython will be my final stand, and it will be the Maw’s final resting place.

So they better pray that I’m merciful, because my final time using my lightsaber isn’t going to be a dull one.

Because the silver shine of the hilt always looks good with Sith blood decorating it.