The term "safe space" has been memed a bit, by loads of people, including myself. We use it sarcastically, we use it to attack people's discussions or thoughts, to bring them out of the comfort zone when they do something we don't agree with - or because the targets of these conversations are sitting in echo chambers. I'm usually the target of it for the reason of doing my job here in the community, of exercising my position when it's required, because people in the community don't agree with a decision I've made, think I'm protecting people they don't like for whatever reason, or just generally want to eradicate any sense of comfort to show how big boy tough they are. Yeah, I get it, and we all usually collectively roll our eyes and move on.
But recently, a new development happened in one of my other fandoms. I personally was a fan of a big streamer known as Arcadum, a Dungeons & Dragons twitch streamer, and actively watched his content and took notes on how he treated DnD. He was, in my opinion, very good. And then the internet crashed down around this particular Twitch streamer, Arcadum, due to how he behaved in private with women. Many people, including his significant others, are going through those stages of "I can't believe he was doing these things." Often using his position, a very influential and "powerful" one in the community, to leverage women's opinions, time, and favors. A few of them got together, told their stories, and well... I'm sure at this point you can guess the fallout.
Roleplay environments, especially in the digital space, are very vulnerable to this happening imo because we have people from all walks of life, but it's especially inviting to people who are socially awkward, shy, lonely, or emotionally vulnerable and don't find themselves enjoying what IRL has given them. Women who aren't confident enough to immediately assert themselves. Men who aren't socially trained well enough to read signals. People who aren't very good at being social. It's just not a DLC that one can buy when you start roleplaying. And what's worse, it's usually a subject that nobody wants to discuss because you're scared of being laughed out of the room or treated like a black sheep, or beyond even that - ostracized from the community, or the microcosm communities therein.
It's disgusting, to me, that people behave this way when they think nobody is paying attention. And while watching this unfold in an entirely different community, I can't help but feel afraid it could happen here. Our Administrative team is extremely diverse, our RPJ moderators equally so. I know a few members have said it can feel intimidating to talk to me, that they could feel afraid to do so for fear I might ban them - and while I hate it - that's fine. But you have Valiens. Jamie. John. Srina. Or any of the RPJs you can talk to. And if you absolutely feel you couldn't talk to us, talk to a Major Faction Owner, if you're in one of them. Talk to another member of the community, get their opinion.
Just, if you're feeling harassed, abused, accosted, etc. Man, or woman. Talk to someone. If it's viable, if you can prove it, if what you're saying is true, that person is gone. No matter how high their position in our community, how respected you think they may be, how many inroads you think they might have that keeps them here. I watch these other communities, see it happen there, and know it's possible here. Just, please don't stay silent about it. If you're being mistreated, if a person doesn't understand the meaning of "no, I do not want to interact with you." If they're not catching the hint. Then please, I want to know.
Even if you can't find resolution, we can help. If it were to ever happen here, or in your lives, I hope this random article finds you well. At a minimum, we can make our roleplays, our stories, a safe place in our community.
But recently, a new development happened in one of my other fandoms. I personally was a fan of a big streamer known as Arcadum, a Dungeons & Dragons twitch streamer, and actively watched his content and took notes on how he treated DnD. He was, in my opinion, very good. And then the internet crashed down around this particular Twitch streamer, Arcadum, due to how he behaved in private with women. Many people, including his significant others, are going through those stages of "I can't believe he was doing these things." Often using his position, a very influential and "powerful" one in the community, to leverage women's opinions, time, and favors. A few of them got together, told their stories, and well... I'm sure at this point you can guess the fallout.
Roleplay environments, especially in the digital space, are very vulnerable to this happening imo because we have people from all walks of life, but it's especially inviting to people who are socially awkward, shy, lonely, or emotionally vulnerable and don't find themselves enjoying what IRL has given them. Women who aren't confident enough to immediately assert themselves. Men who aren't socially trained well enough to read signals. People who aren't very good at being social. It's just not a DLC that one can buy when you start roleplaying. And what's worse, it's usually a subject that nobody wants to discuss because you're scared of being laughed out of the room or treated like a black sheep, or beyond even that - ostracized from the community, or the microcosm communities therein.
It's disgusting, to me, that people behave this way when they think nobody is paying attention. And while watching this unfold in an entirely different community, I can't help but feel afraid it could happen here. Our Administrative team is extremely diverse, our RPJ moderators equally so. I know a few members have said it can feel intimidating to talk to me, that they could feel afraid to do so for fear I might ban them - and while I hate it - that's fine. But you have Valiens. Jamie. John. Srina. Or any of the RPJs you can talk to. And if you absolutely feel you couldn't talk to us, talk to a Major Faction Owner, if you're in one of them. Talk to another member of the community, get their opinion.
Just, if you're feeling harassed, abused, accosted, etc. Man, or woman. Talk to someone. If it's viable, if you can prove it, if what you're saying is true, that person is gone. No matter how high their position in our community, how respected you think they may be, how many inroads you think they might have that keeps them here. I watch these other communities, see it happen there, and know it's possible here. Just, please don't stay silent about it. If you're being mistreated, if a person doesn't understand the meaning of "no, I do not want to interact with you." If they're not catching the hint. Then please, I want to know.
Even if you can't find resolution, we can help. If it were to ever happen here, or in your lives, I hope this random article finds you well. At a minimum, we can make our roleplays, our stories, a safe place in our community.
