Tigris slept heavy against her, leg hooked over Eve's thigh, arm pressed tight around her ribs. Isari was curled at their feet, ears twitching with dream-sounds only she could hear. The chamber was steeped in quiet, but Eve lay wide awake, her gaze fixed on the ceiling beams. Her body was still. Her mind wasn't.
It pressed and pressed at her chest, that gnawing weight. No matter how she turned it over, the fear stayed. Not just for herself. For Tigris, soft-breathed against her side. For Jane, still untested but brave enough to stand here at all. For the enclave, all of them, trusting her to hold them safe against the Empire.
She told herself to breathe, the way Valery had taught her so long ago. Deep, steady. But each breath only caught against the knot in her throat. She could feel the storm pressing closer. She could feel the lives depending on her. She was supposed to protect them. To lead. To carry it all. As Knight, as Overseer, and now Council member.
Her jaw ached from holding it in. Slowly, carefully, she eased herself out from under Tigris' arm. The mattress shifted, but Tigris only murmured and turned, leg dragging back into the warmth of the blanket. Eve smoothed her nightdress over her knees and slipped into the hall barefoot, the stone cool against her skin.
Her office was lit pale by moonlight spilling through the high windows. She stepped onto the balcony, resting both hands on the smooth marble. Eshan's moons floated heavy above the dark ridges, cold and impossibly far away. She tried to draw strength from them, but the strength wouldn't come.
I have to keep them safe. I have to hold this together. I can't let them see me falter. I can't lose them.
The thoughts piled until her chest was tight and her eye burned. She bit down hard, shaking her head, trying to stop it. But the breath that left her mouth was broken, uneven, and the tears pushed through all the same.
She pressed a hand against her lips to muffle the sound, shoulders curling as the sobs overtook her. Under the silent gaze of the moons, Eve wept, the weight too much to carry alone.
