I never thought I'd have to write something like this, it feels so weird to. I thought staying off of discords and focusing my attention IC would create a healthier enviroment. And honestly, up until this point, I thought I was nailing that.

But that's not what I'm hearing now. I've been a bit unsure what to do about it. I've seen harmless intentions get twisted to horrible things time and time again. It sucks.

So, I'm going to state what I intended and you all can take it as you will.

I've always loved NJO's gritty morality aspect. It's fresh. It's unique. It's filled with flaws that allow tension and character growth. It's a recipe for all that good stuff. I knew Sith opposition was sorely lacking, I had hoped to foil in and help add to this theme of gritty warfare and loss. For 7 months I joined every invasion I could. I wrote with GA and NIO staff members alike.

I had a fething blast.

Honestly, I've never loved invasions more. My partners provided incredible posts and events for me to bounce off of. The theme of war and limits and moral quandaries was written beautifully by both parties. It's by far one of my favorite arcs I've written on this site. Thank you to all the partners that gave me a story with telling.

I wanted to write a realistic fall to the darkside, from a scared kid to a heartless sith. Aradia's angle is meant to reflect the flaws of GA/NIO back on them-- how else do you write convincing hatred? I felt like a sith had to start somewhere-- it wasn't like they just appear on the battlefield fully realized. The purges gave her a reason to fall-- a need for power and reason to reach it. And as she falls, the jedi would have reasons condemn her to death.

It was meant to be this rich, complex cycle in which the heroes try to save the world and accidentally create the monster they were after all along.

I was so excited to one day show up on the battlefield, full-blooded sith, and have a tangible reasons why Aradia would go on to commit atrocities. And I thought-- how cool would be if the jedi understood what brought them into this situation? No more mindless evil, but real, 3d interactions.

I've heard so many interpretations for what people think I was trying to do, all of them startled me and made my heart hurt. To be clear:
  • Aradia's hatred of them was never an ooc statement. I wrote this story with GA/NIO staff-- my friends.
  • It wasn't an attempt to get back at GA for the elder scandal. I started writing this story in July.
  • It wasn't more jedi vs jedi interfighting. I left SJO 5 months ago. I haven't really written a jedi since.
  • It wasn't an attempt to derail, blame, or misrepresent everyone who participated in the invasions outside of my story.-- myself and others have linked each post we reference in this arc to be sure that others can go and read what occurred without my character's perspective in the way.

I only ever intended to write a story. I loved this story. I loved Aradia fighting for validation. It's okay if you think she's wrong. That just creates more tension to write though. I tried very hard to only use what material my writing partners gave to me. If you read that material differently, if you find that it was misrepresented-

I'm sorry.

This was meant to be a complex story. It's not meant to be as black and white as the board has made it.

I've stayed quiet. Partially because lately looking at this site unravels me into panic attacks, and partly because I thought staying silent would keep my nose clean.

It's become clear to me that my silence forced people to make conclusions that were hurtful. Hurtful for them, and me.

To GA: Don't stop being you. I love your angle. Own it. Be unapologetically gritty jedi with a perspective that "breaks the mold." It brings so much to the table. Tension is everything in a story. I respect those that are brave enough to unapologetically write flaws. It's not a reflection onto your community. It's a story. I see that. I hope others do too.

There's no clean way to end this. If you got this far, hats off to you. Cheers.