@Bard of the Hyperlanes

Dear Bard,

I miss you.

I want to say that I've never felt so alone, which is true. I feel like everywhere I go i'm watching the galaxy through a pane of one way glass. They don't hear me, they don't see me. I'm more of a ghost than I ever was dead. But it doesn't make me sad. I question my reasons for coming back. I'm not even sure if I had reasons that weren't selfish.

I've always been selfish, especially with you. You who convinced me to do something I never thought I'd do.To run and hide. To love. But i'm a selfish lover, I demanded so much from you never once considering the hell I put you through with the decisions I made. So consumed by my own pain and self pity, driven by my unwavering desire to bring every sith into hell with me.

I'm so sorry.

It seems hollow, when I read it back, but I don't know how else to express it. You're not here so I can't show you. I can only hope that you know.

I can remember it all, you know. Remember passing, drifting through space and time, conversing with an echo of Velok. I hated him. I used to think he ruined everything that I'd had, but I've come to realise that his actions led to far greater things. Without him, you and I would never have built the Veil. He gave me the gift of knowledge, and I thank him for that. But its come at a high price. I can no longer walk among my people. Our people. I see their anger and hate for the sith and understand it, but I no longer feel it. I no longer care. I tried. I tried to feel it, tried to be one of them again, but I can't.

I am dar'manda.

I've lost everything, and yet I feel nothing. Ordo has gone. They cut him from the force and he vanished off the radar. You are gone. You left the senate, I know that much, but you were always so good at not being found. I should feel sad or angry, but I don't. I don't feel any pain anymore, just...regret for the pain I have caused.

​Wherever you are Bard, I hope you're well. I hope you know that I love you, and I always will.

Come find me, when you're ready.