Queen of Alderaan
A year ago on this day I got the worst phone call I could ever receive. My mother had been killed. The why about why the man who killed her I will never know, I can assume many things, but I'll never know the reason. The reason probably wouldn't make sense to me anyhow.
Today I have spent a lot of time reflecting, course I've spent this entire year in mourning and have realized that I will be doing so for the rest of my life. Losing a parent is one of those emotional moments that just don't ever seem to fade. Its been explained to me that grief is a ball in a box with a button, the box is the same size every day, the button the same size, the only thing that changes is the size of the ball and how many times in a single day it hits to button. Good days and bad days, today the ball is big.
Most everyone who met my mother thought she was great. She was a kind person with a giving soul. Don't get me wrong she had her moments. Many of her friends and acquaintances over the years found it hard to believe I was her daughter. I'm not as forgiving as she was, and I'm extremely shy. My mom was not these things.
The last year has taught me many things as well not just about loss but things about my family and friends.
I remind myself constantly what my Mom would want when it comes to hanging on to her memory with a steel grip and what life may bring to me.
She would want that we remember good times. She would want us to remember to be positive. So I'm trying to do that.
She made cakes and cookies for me all through school to take to school for parties.
She liked being around family and laughing.
So in my attempt to be positive, if you have read this, share something positive here. Can be anything maybe what we share will uplift someone's day.
Thank you for taking time to read this
Today I have spent a lot of time reflecting, course I've spent this entire year in mourning and have realized that I will be doing so for the rest of my life. Losing a parent is one of those emotional moments that just don't ever seem to fade. Its been explained to me that grief is a ball in a box with a button, the box is the same size every day, the button the same size, the only thing that changes is the size of the ball and how many times in a single day it hits to button. Good days and bad days, today the ball is big.
Most everyone who met my mother thought she was great. She was a kind person with a giving soul. Don't get me wrong she had her moments. Many of her friends and acquaintances over the years found it hard to believe I was her daughter. I'm not as forgiving as she was, and I'm extremely shy. My mom was not these things.
The last year has taught me many things as well not just about loss but things about my family and friends.
I remind myself constantly what my Mom would want when it comes to hanging on to her memory with a steel grip and what life may bring to me.
She would want that we remember good times. She would want us to remember to be positive. So I'm trying to do that.
She made cakes and cookies for me all through school to take to school for parties.
She liked being around family and laughing.
So in my attempt to be positive, if you have read this, share something positive here. Can be anything maybe what we share will uplift someone's day.
Thank you for taking time to read this