Private Heart of Gold

[Starlin Rand]

Starlin Rand, aged eighteen, lay flat on his back in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. His eyes were heavy-lidded, his gaze dreamy, lost in the high of some extraordinarily potent marcan herb.

At least, until he heard the door open.

He scrambled to his feet, quickly hiding the blunt he had been smoking. "...Oh. 'Sup," he greeted awkwardly as Thesh walked in.

Good ol' Thesh. The ginger acolyte had been staying with them for so long, Starlin was beginning to genuinely believe he might stick around permanently. Not that he was all that happy with having to share his room, but if it meant the Sith lost another member, he supposed it was a small price to pay. Besides, Thesh was a pretty cool dude. In another life, Starlin could easily see them being good friends.

"Hey Thesh," he said. "Are you busy later tonight?"

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

A decidedly baby-faced Thesh entered the room and was immediately met with a plume of smoke that had him coughing. Even as Starlin raced to hide the blunt from view, he couldn't help but shake his head. A light grin played upon his lips. "You know she can smell that, right?" he said, as he tossed his bag down at the foot of the bed they'd managed to cram into the room alongside Starlin's, "Whole hallway stinks of it."​

​

Flopping down onto his bed, he let out a long sigh and looked as though he might crash and pass out then and there. Of course, Starlin's question drew him back from the edge. "I was gonna help mom with that window, but it won't take long. Why, what's up?"​

​

Sitting upright on the bed, he glanced over to Starlin and then timidly reached for the joint he'd been hiding. It wasn't like Thesh to take a drag, but every once in a while couldn't hurt right..?​

​

Starlin Rand ​

 

[Starlin Rand]

“It’s just lil bit of weed. Not like I’m shooting up death sticks or snorting spice,” Starlin muttered. Mom was a bit more tolerant of the herb than she was even of alcohol, but he was still skating on thin ice. “She’s not supposed to be home yet.”

Still, he went over to open the window to air out the room. “Well, there’s this concert me and my buddies are going to…”

He turned around to find Thesh had picked up his blunt. For a moment he could do nothing but stare at him in surprise, waiting to see if he would actually take a drag.

“I was wondering if you wanted to come with us.”

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

"Hey, you're the one hiding it not me" he said with a shrug. For the most part Thesh didn't mind, at least not unless it got to a point where Jen was stuck up worrying again, waiting for Starlin to come home. Thankfully those nights were few and far between lately. "Oh, she's still out?" He hummed under his breath, then shrugged, "Then I guess I'm fixing the window tomorrow."​

​

When Starlin explained what he had planned, Thesh's brows rose. "You want me to come too?" he asked, as he held the joint and considered taking a drag. "Heck yeah, I'm down for that." He didn't really know music beyond what Starlin had already shown him, it wasn't exactly of utmost importance for a slave to have access to after all, but what he had heard he liked.​

​

As for the blunt... Well Starlin handled it effortlessly, like a champ. Surely that meant Thesh would be fine too, especially if he only took one small hit. He brought it to his lips, took a drag, and proceeded to cough it back up. "Feth, you choose to do that?" he asked, as he handed it back to Starlin.​

​

Just as he'd expected, it didn't really do anything. Oh well, at least now he knew. He rose up to try and fetch something clean to wear and the whole room span.​

​

When he flopped back down onto the bed, Thesh succumbed to an uncomfortable amount of laughter. It hurt his ribs, and made it hard to breathe. For the life of him he couldn't figure out what was even so funny.​

​

Starlin Rand ​

 

[Starlin Rand]

Starlin’s eyebrows climbed steadily higher as Thesh raised the blunt to his lips, took a hit, and proceeded to cough up a cloud of smoke. “I can’t believe you just did that,” he said. “Maybe you’re not such a nerd after all.”

Thesh complained about the taste, apparently unaffected by the drug. But Starlin knew better. He watched as the ginger tried to stand up, fell down, and burst into laughter.

“Yeah, I’m going with a couple old buddies of mine from the neighborhood,” he replied, plucking the blunt from Thesh’s trembling fingers and taking another drag. “But y’know, things have been kinda weird with them ever since I joined the Jedi. I dunno if they’re jealous, or just from a completely different world than mine now.”

Thesh’s giggling was contagious, and soon Starlin was chuckling too. “Heh. Oobie doobie doo, man! Ha ha!” He held out the blunt. “You want another hit? We got time. Concert’s not until like… four hours from now.”

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

"You think I'm a nerd?" he scoffed, feigning offense at the perceived slight. One look at the foot of his bed would prove that Starlin was correct of course, a stack of books lay there each of which he was simultaneously reading, and not comic books either. Actual real life books he'd checked out of the library, brimming with all kinds of information.​

​

He didn't reach for any of them now though, he instead stared at a small damp spot on the ceiling and watched as it drifted this way and that, eyes refusing to focus. ​

​

"Weird how?" he asked, between giggles; the conversation seemed as though it ought to be taken seriously, and Thesh tried to school his expression and cease the laughter, even managed to frown in a concerned way, but ultimately he couldn't hold back. With a tiny snicker he started up all over again, cheeks turning bright pink. "Sorry, it's not funny" he chuckled, turning more red in the face as he continued to try and control himself.​

​

"Well I'll come, can't be jealous if you're stuck hanging out with a nerdy tagalong" he stated with a shrug. When the joint was offered out he took it and immediately drew a fresh drag. His hands trembled, making it a touch more perilous than his first attempt. Still he managed, and soon the spliff was passed back.​

​

"Four hours, that's like... Four-hundred and twenty minutes" he frowned for a long moment, then shook his head, "I mean two-hundred and forty seconds... minutes..?" He raised a hand and scratched at his head. "What was I saying?"​

​

Turning on the bed, he moved to face Starlin though he remained lying down. "You know what sounds real good right about now, Star? Pizza..."​

​

Starlin Rand ​

 

[Starlin Rand]

Starlin nodded, glancing at the pile of books at the foot of Thesh’s bed as if it were obvious. Dude was a bona fide nerd.

“Weird like… weird.” Starlin’s half-assed explanation did little to resolve the confusion, though the herb was strong enough that Thesh might feel like he understood perfectly. “I don’t even know if we’re still friends anymore, or where I stand with them. I just know that I’m different from them, ‘cause I went down a different path…”

Shaking his head, he waved his hand dismissively. “Feth it. Who gives a chit. I’m going back to the Academy soon enough anyway.” He took another puff, blowing the fragrant smoke out of his nostrils, and patted Thesh on the back. “Attaboy! It’ll be grand. Swell. Damn, you are high as a kite! You’ve never done any drugs before, have you?”

The suggestion of pizza had him roaring. “That’s the best thing I’ve ever heard you say, man! Let’s go get a pizza. Can you walk?” If not, they could always have it delivered.

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

"Yeah, man, you're just sort of on different wavelengths now... I doubt they mean anything by it, but well... You found a way out. I know I'd be envious of that." He narrowed his eyes, and turned his gaze back to the patch on the ceiling. "Heck, am envious of that. You got scooped up by the good'uns." Thesh? Well... Thesh hadn't, had he?​

​

As for whether he'd done drugs before, Thesh was quick to shake his head. "Not-a-once" he more or less sang, as he leisurely ran a hand up through his hair and made a mess of it. "My teeth are tingling. I wonder what they're trying to say..."​

​

Pizza was apparently a good call. "Chaos, yes," he agreed, and at the challenge for whether or not he could even stand he scoffed. "'course I can walk" he muttered, though it took him way too long to actually sit up, and longer still to plant his feet on the floor. "See?" Thesh technically wasn't standing yet.​

​

He pushed up, wobbled, and reached out a hand to steady himself.​

​

"Tadaa!"​

​

Starlin Rand ​

 

[Starlin Rand]

“You’re… envious of me?” Starlin echoed, blinking. “Because I’m a Jedi, and you’re a Sith? Oh man. That’s rough, buddy.”

He took another hit, coughing a bit, and watched as Arc staggered to his feet. “Are you sure?” he asked, a bit dubious. He put on a shirt and walked over to the door, then gestured for Thesh to go first. To prove that he could still walk, as stoned as he was.

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

"Why wouldn't I be?" he asked, the haze settling over his brain working wonders toward loosening up his tongue, "You have a family who love you, an Order that actually cares what happens to you, you're not stuck waiting for hounds to bite at your heel, or worrying about what horrors your next assignment might bring."​

​

He shrugged, as though it was obvious. Then he tried to take a step forward. He staggered, and this time fell onto Starlin's bed instead.​

​

"Are my legs supposed to be jelly?" he asked.​

​

Starlin Rand ​

 

[Starlin Rand]

“Damn,” Starlin murmured. He felt bad for Thesh. Well, he’d always felt pity for him, sympathy even, but he had at least been comforted by the thought that Thesh didn’t know what he was missing out on. Learning that he was, in fact, aware of how much better Starlin’s position was shattered that illusion.

But he didn’t have to see it when chit sucked, he thought. He gets Mom as she is now, not the way she used to be. Doesn’t have to deal with the Jedi when they don’t all agree on what’s right. He thinks it’s all sunshine and roses and weed…

Thesh couldn’t even manage to take a single step. Before his thoughts could darken too much, Starlin picked up his datapad. “Pizza delivery it is…”

---

A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door. Starlin rushed to answer, though he did stop to look through the peephole before unlocking the door. Just in case.

To his surprise, he recognized the face on the other side. Opening the door, he grinned. “My man Rhys! Come on in!”

An overweight, blue-skinned Twi’lek, Rhys rushed past him. “Shut the door!” he hissed. Blinking, Starlin peeked his head out, peering either way down the hall, before quickly closing the door and locking it.

“Is this yours?” Rhys asked, thrusting the pizza box into Starlin’s arms before he began to pace the apartment. He was panting and sweating like he had run all the way there.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“I need to ask you a favor,” Rhys babbled. “I was supposed to sell this spice and deliver the money, but I forgot about it. They already sent some guys after me, and if they find me, they’re gonna gut me like a fething fish, man! You gotta let me stay with you, just until this chit blows over—”

“Whoa, hey, calm down.” Starlin held up his hands. “Who do you owe money to?”

“Smokey!”

Starlin gaped at him. “Smokey?! What the feth are you doing business with Smokey for?!”

“The money. He gives his dealers the biggest cut.”

“That’s because he laces his chit with Force knows what, so it isn’t worth as much to begin with, then charges full price anyway!” Starlin held his head in his hands. “I bought weed from you last Friday! My friend is in my room, stoned out of his mind on Smokey’s herb! He can’t even stand up!”

No wonder Thesh’s teeth were tingling. Starlin ran into the bedroom in a panic, half expecting to find Thesh going into cardiac arrest.

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

Sprawled out on Starlin's bed, Thesh didn't even hear what was said. He knew something was said of course, he hummed in what seemed to be agreement, but he was spaced. Beyond spaced. Still for now at least he seemed in working order, just a little out of it. He lay there staring up at the ceiling for what felt like an eternity. He didn't say anything, even if Starlin tried to chat.​

​

Soon he found himself alone, the sound of Starlin's footsteps receding echoing through his ears. That was fine... This was fine...​

​

Only when he tried to sit upright he discovered that he couldn't. A panic set over him, eyes shifting this way and that as he glowered at the damp spot on the ceiling. His heart race picked up, breathing frantic, and then his vision blurred until it became little more than pinpricks of dancing light.​

​

Then even that went black.​

​

Starlin Rand ​

 

[Starlin Rand]

Starlin burst into the bedroom to find Thesh lying unresponsive on the bed. “Thesh!” he exclaimed, slapping him around in an effort to rouse the acolyte. “Thesh! Oh, Force…”

He rushed back out, spying Rhys standing in the kitchen, eating a slice of pizza. “Rhys!” he blurted, then scowled. “That’s our pizza, you feth!”

“Sorry,” Rhys sputtered. “I’m a stress eater.”

“Do you have any NARCAN?” Starlin asked, not wasting another breath. “Something for an overdose?”

“Back at my place, maybe. But I’m not going back there as long as Smokey’s goons are after me!”

“Fething wonderful!” Starlin was already scrambling into his mother’s room. It had been many years since Jen had gone clean, but he knew that she kept an overdose kit in her closet, just in case. Retrieving the kit, he returned to Thesh.

Holy chit, a needle? Starlin thought as he pulled a giant syringe from the kit. I thought NARCAN was squirted up your nose…

“That’s old school,” Rhys said over his shoulder, still gnawing on pizza. “You’re gonna have to give him a shot in the heart. Like that scene in Flimsiplast Fiction.”

“Fine, fine…” Starlin muttered, more to reassure himself as he ripped open Thesh’s shirt. "This stuff doesn't expire, right?"

"I dunno."

Starlin clenched his teeth. In later years, he would learn how to use the Force to detoxify the body, but that lesson was yet to be taught. “I need a pen or a marker…”

He was only able to find a pink highlighter. Drawing a pink dot on Thesh’s chest where the big needle would go in, he filled the syringe, squirted some out, then hesitated. “Rhys, stop stuffing your face and give me a countdown,” he growled, his heart pounding in his ears.

Rhys swallowed his last mouthful, then started the count. “Three… two… one…”

Gripping the syringe with a sweaty, trembling hand, Starlin stabbed the needle down into Thesh’s chest, injecting pure adrenaline directly into his heart.

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

Thesh's shirt was in fact an old one of Starlin's that the Jedi had outgrown, scavenged from the back of his closet by Jen not long after they'd decided to let him stay. The boy himself only had what he'd been wearing back on Ossus, as well as what few things had been found for him ever since. Suffice to say when the shirt was ripped it was a real loss, but better that than his life.​

​

The black void was very dark and very boring. No memories or dreams obscured the obsoletion, there was simply nothing.​

​

And then, all at once, it all came rushing back.​

​

A fierce pain and heat emanated through his core from his heart, and a huge gasp preceded a sharp howl as he came to.​

​

Every part of him felt over-energized, lips turned briefly blue before the colour flooded back in, and before he could even comprehend what was happening he turned and vomited on the floor. Adrenaline was a rough drug.​

​

Starlin Rand ​

 

[Starlin Rand]

Starlin watched with wide eyes as Thesh sucked in an enormous gasp of air, then bolted upright with a panicked shriek. Unfortunately Starlin didn’t have a chance to move out of the way before Thesh’s forehead collided directly with his nose.

“Gah!” Starlin exclaimed, letting loose a string of expletives as he clutched at his nose.

“Holy chit,” Rhys muttered, clutching his head.

Starlin pulled his hand away, expecting to see blood on his fingers, but they were clean. “Why does it hurt so bad if there’s not even any blood?!” he yelled. Wincing, he turned toward poor Thesh, who by then had emptied the contents of his stomach onto the floor.

“Thesh… Are you okay, man?” Bit of a dumb question, given the circumstances, but he might as well ask. “You got a… uh… Here, let me just…”

He reached over and, with a swift yank, pulled out the needle which was still sticking out of Thesh’s bare chest. Then he fumbled with the medkit, slapping a Hello Cathar band-aid over the puncture wound and giving the puke-stained acolyte a gentle and reassuring pat on the back.

“Rhys,” he said, turning toward his friend. “Get this poor ginger some water, would ya?”

Rhys scrambled into action, grabbing a cup and filling it with water. When he walked over to hand the cup to Thesh, Starlin grabbed his wrist.

“I want you to give me all the drugs you were gonna sell for Smokey, and all the cash you have on you,” he said, his tone weirdly calm. “You’re gonna stay here, and I'm gonna go give it back to him. Got it?”

Rhys opened his mouth to say something, then seemed to think better of it when he caught Starlin’s thousand-light-year stare. “Okay,” he said, then began fumbling around in his pockets.

Plastic bags holding a wide array of illegal substances found their way into Starlin’s grasp, along with a wad of credits wrapped in elastic. Starlin stuffed everything into his pockets, put on a gray hoodie, and stood up. “When I return, we are going to that fething concert,” he declared with absolute certainty. “So you better be ready by then. Thesh?” He turned toward his unlikely Sith bro. “Are you gonna be okay staying here with this joker, or do you wanna come with me?”

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

The NARCAN was fast acting, jolting his back into a roused state, only in doing so he'd collided with Starlin and now he was puking. Great. Better that than dead, but even so it wasn't a nice position to be in. With the needle tugged free, and a bandaid slapped over the entry point, he found himself fast handed a glass of water and drank from it like his life depended on it.​

​

"Eugh" Thesh whined, raising a hand to his head where a small bruise was beginning to form. "What... in chaos... was that..."​

​

It took him a little while longer to notice the cragmoloid in the room, some teen who'd handed him the water. "What's going... what'd I miss...? Who's that..?"​

​

His words were still a little drawn out, he sounded almost sleepy and disjointed, but hey it was better than lying there unresponsive.​

​

Not even knowing where exactly they were going or why, Thesh weighed the two choices before him then pointed toward Starlin. "Yeah, bro, with you."​

​

Starlin Rand ​

 

[Starlin Rand]

"What... in chaos... was that..."

“To be honest, I don’t really know what that was,” Starlin replied, trying to make his bulging pockets look less obvious. The last thing he needed was to get chased by a police droid thinking he was a drug dealer. “It was in my mom’s old overdose kit. You were on some really bad chit—like, I think you literally died, dude. So I stuck a needle in your heart and injected something into you to bring you back to life.”

Thesh was still a little bit disoriented. Starlin felt a fresh wave of guilt. “If you start feeling sick again, tell me, okay?” he said. “I’ll take you to the clinic.”

They passed by the pizza box, still sitting on the kitchen counter. Rhys had eaten half of it already. “Pizza?” he asked Thesh, taking a couple of slices for himself and eating them on his way out the door.

“It’s a long story, Thesh, so I’m just gonna tell you the lessons we’ve learned from this situation. Number one: don’t smoke, because that’s how you wound up in this mess. Number two: don’t ever buy drugs from Smokey. And number three: I need to stop being friends with people like Rhys...” The Twi’lek was out of earshot by now, so Starlin wasn’t afraid he’d overhear him.

As they made their way out onto the streets of Coruscant, Starlin glanced over at Thesh, then put his arm around the other boy’s shoulders. It was a spontaneous display of fraternal affection—which swiftly became a convenient shield as shots rang out from across the street. Some local thugs had apparently decided to do a drive-by of a rival gang.

“Awww, chit!” Starlin hustled Thesh out of harm’s way, pulling him into the relative safety of an alleyway. “Run!”

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

Starlin began to list off a series of lessons which he only half heard, though Thesh nodded his head along all the same, then led him through the apartment and toward the front door, though not before they paused to grab some 'za. His stomach felt understandably empty, and the water had helped to refresh his palette, so he took a slice in each hand and chowed down as they stepped out into the main complex.​

​

Then into the streets of Coruscant.​

​

He'd barely taken two bites before one of Starlin's arms wrapped around him, and though at first he stiffened in surprise he soon found himself softening. It was so rare that he had any physical affection, even platonically speaking. It was... nice. He took another bite, then shots went off and he found himself pizzaless as the slices slipped from his grasp. They were running now, down an alleyway, and he didn't exactly have the time to lament the loss of such cheesy, saucy goodness.​

​

"This usually happen?" he mumbled between pants, sure he was doing better than he had been in Starlin's room but that didn't mean running was in his best interest right now. Yet here they were... Running.​

​

Chaos, he felt as though he was going to hurl all over again.​

​

Starlin Rand ​

 

[Starlin Rand]

Starlin had jumped at the sound of the first shots being fired. He turned toward Thesh just in time to watch the redhead fling his pizza in the air in startled surprise. The two slices spun end over end, falling to the ground with a splat. By then both boys were already running.

"This usually happen?"

“Yeah,” Starlin blurted. “A lot! Too much…”

The ground beneath their feet shook, apparently the result of an explosion. Who the hell brought explosives to a gang war? Probably military-grade equipment leftover from a past invasion. Fething star wars…

Thesh was starting to flag behind, no doubt still feeling the effects of the epinephrine. Starlin started to slow down, thinking perhaps he would have to carry him the rest of the way… but then a group of thugs came out of the alleyway in front of them. These were not common punks; they were armed to the teeth with blasters, vibroblades, and a host of other weaponry. Still, it was clear they were small fry compared to the grenade-wielding assholes down the street.

“Stop right there,” their leader, a Zabrak holding a blaster pistol, hissed. “This is Mynocks territory, Rand. You and your firecrotch friend aren’t welcome here.”

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

Poor pizza.​

​

Poor rumbling, tumbling Thesh's tummy.​

​

Still better the pizza than their lives. So he ran, and he ran, and he fought to keep up with Starlin. Easier said than done given how weird his body was feeling, his heart felt as though it was going to explode, and each breath came difficult and wheezy.​

​

Then they were halted as thugs crossed their path, and his eyes shifted between the group. He stepped closer to Starlin, then a protective streak overcame him and he slipped between his brother and the gang.​

​

"You will let us pass" he declared, nose wrinkling in disgust. Resisting the urge to raise his hand and give away what it was he was about to do, Thesh glowered at the Zabrak and narrowed his eyes in focus. "Or I'll tell everyone your little secret..."​

​

That was all it took for a secret to pop into the Zabrak's head, his most deepest, darkest one at that, or at least the one he most feared being exposed. Thesh pushed forth his mind and when next he spoke it was only for the thug to hear. I'll tell them all about Isaia he warned, eyes briefly drifting over to the green skinned Mirialan who stood to his right, fidgeting with a blaster of his own, And I'll tell Isaia all about his brother...​

​

Thesh was not playing games. He wanted to be out of here five minutes ago.​

​

Starlin Rand ​