What Will You...Become?

[Connor Harrison]

Connor Harrison's Quarters
Silver Jedi Temple, Voss

He'd entertained many people over the years in the small but cozy quarter on the South side of the Jedi Temple on Voss. Helped those injured rest up, taken in visitors who needed a place to stay, talked over life with friends and even dared to think about affairs of the heart.

Now, Connor sat on his bunk in darkness, save the glow from the thermostat on the wall and the dim lights from outside. Dusk was here; another beautiful night on a planet he would soon no longer be welcome to set foot on.

Rubbing his hand, the Jedi Master looked around. His navy tunic and cowl, stained with his blood from the confrontation on Ossus. The lightsaber hearkening back to the legendary Skywalker family - how ironic it was now in his hands. The com that never powered down. A small pot plant. A glass of blue milk on the kitchenette side. For a man - a Master - with over a decade of alliances and adventures, he had very little to show for it at all except pain, remorse, regret and loneliness.

He hadn't seen any of the Silvers for months. Even the most promising of apprentices, [member="Aria Vale"], had vanished, though he didn't blame her even if he was disappointed.

Still, Connor had been told not to regret. And so he didn't.

Lying back, wincing with the tender body he now bore, he laced his hands on his chest waiting for sleep to creep up on him, because then it was another day closer to the inevitable curtain call to the last piece of hope he had. His home on Voss.

But hope was for the blind; hope never really came. It was a dream you chased, and Connor knew very well not to chase dreams because they never came true.

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

Joza rested her palm against the door of Connor Harrison’s quarters. It had been a few months since their last meeting—her apartment on Lianna—which had ended leaving the two in an awkward spot. Old feelings kicked up, though they were not necessarily good. In a way, his words reminded her of Haytham as he descended down a Darker path, becoming a crueler and more ruthless man. And for what? She never quite figured that out, aside from an empty lust for power. He never seemed satisfied. That was not something she wanted for Connor, as upset as she was with his words. She had reigned her frustration in that day, letting it dwell in her stomach rather than expel itself in a bout of poorly thought-out rage.

But Alan was being watched by a particularly gentle Padawan, and Joza had found herself in front of Harrison’s quarters. It was not hesitance that kept her from entering, but rather she lingered outside to gather her thoughts. The raids on Voss had taken their toll on her to the point where her stressed body gave birth early. Joza was certain that she’d thanked a thousand deities a she held her tiny son for the first time, days after she’d gone into labor. Then came the attack on Ossus, where Mandaloian forces cut a path to their temple and engaged the Jedi there. Among them were some she recognized—and had even called family. Unfortunately, she’d recently come to the heartbreaking decision to disassociate herself from the Mandalorians, unable to see them as anything else but warmongers and instigators who acted on flimsy reasoning. The Crusaders had once been friendly with the Silvers, which made the attack all the more confusing and disappointing.

Rapping her knuckles gently against the door, she called out once. “Connor?” She wasn’t sure that he’d be there, but this was the first place she’d try. Hell, she probably shouldn’t even be looking for him but she hadn’t given up on him. They were friends, and had been close at one point before drifting. But he’d been one of the few to listen to her, having helped her though several difficult situations. Even if this blew up in her face, Joza decided to chance the interaction now that she’d had time to settle down from their initial chat.

Her frustration had reached its peak.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

He’d been staring at the ceiling for a good 15 minutes or so when the light knock came. In fact, it probably came twice, quiet and intrusive. Craning his head up from his position, it took a moment to register the voice. Joza. Stay silent and let her go, or open Pandora’s box. To hell with it.

Rolling over and up out of his bunk, he brushed his fringe back and beckoned the door open with a wave of the hand. There she was, minus child.

"Joza," he said, standing a few feet from the door, "I dare not ask what’s wrong. You’d not be here if all were well. Come in."

Indicating with his head, the Zeltron stepped in and he closed the door with a final wave, it chiming behind her. On the ground, his old rucksack and a brown case. Tunic hung up. Saber on the side. The quiet quarters seemingly more quiet – no personal objects, not stocked kitchenette. It was a shell, not a personal room.

He turned to his glass of blue milk and took a mouthful and perched on the edge of the small table.

"So. What can I do for you."

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

Indeed, she wouldn’t be here if all were well. Nothing was decidedly well about their last interaction, a handful of months separating then and now. The passing weeks had given her time to mull on her feelings, not just about Connor and his revelations—but about who she put her own faith into. It wasn’t just Joza Perl anymore. It was Joza Perl and her tiny son. For such a little thing, Alan had a massive effect on her life and more influence than she could have ever imagined. Even without him—she assumed—Joza’s perspective began to shift where it came to allegiance and purpose.

She stepped inside, lips parting just a hair’s breadth as if to speak before stopping short. There was something off about Connor’s quarters. It was…barren? Not exactly lived in. Her head turned slightly, eyes scanning the empty shelves and bare surfaces before crinkling slightly in surprise. “I didn’t expect you to be here,” Her words were honest, and she held back her bit of surprise at still finding him on Voss. From their last talk, she couldn’t quite glean what his goals were or how far along he was with them.

“Thank you for having me, Connor.” Her voice cooled with a shallow exhale, and Joza turned towards the man in question. Connor Harrison. The mysterious Rogue who’d helped her take her first steps away from a destructive path, who she’d opened up to more than once about the difficulties she was having. For a moment, she realized that she wanted to leave—he’d expressed his upset with her drifting from him before, would he think that she only came to him in her time of need? Isn’t that what friends did?

What the hell were they?

“The Mandalorians attacked Ossus.” She hadn’t been aware of his presence there, but figured it best to get that fact out of the way if the case that he hadn’t been. “I don’t that I can consider them family anymore.” Her voice was rough, tired almost. Too exhausted for a conversation that had just started, but it wasn’t as if this were a spur of the moment thought. "I can support fighting to protect or against Sith influence. But not for things like glory and pride." She chewed at her lower lip, briefly as her head rose towards the man perched atop the table and a million questions bubbled on her tongue. Best to start slow. “Why are you still here, Connor? I thought you’d washed your hands of the Silver Jedi.”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Listening, Connor swilled the drink casually and didn't feel much else. There was no guilt, no feel of the need to defend his actions or give reasons. He'd made his choice, and one by one he was watching everyone and anyone drift away from him. There was nothing he could do now - this was part of the process Abyss spoke of. Killing the man so he could emerge re-born.

He took a mouthful at her question and nodded.

"Well, I won't be here much longer. I'm going to see Thurion today. And then, I'm done. I'm out. After over 10 years, I'm leaving the only family I've ever known and the only home I had. I find somewhere else, soon." It was a little hard saying it out loud. There it was. His choice. Stepping out from a warm shelter into a cold storm. "And I know about Ossus. I was there. I went to see more proof about how much my actions as a Jedi have little impact to them or the Mandalorians and I got it. It was enough."

There was no need to mention Keira or the little bumps he got from not fighting back. He put the glass down and looked at the Zeltron, seeing the doubt in her eyes and confusion. Over him? Over her? Over choices made? He'd been there before. Now he felt like she was walking the same path - wanting to hear things to make one feel better when knowing their thoughts were too dangerous to admit.

"And as you can see, my hands are washed. Don't worry, I'll be out of here before the week through and that's it. I become a deserter of the Silver Jedi. Connor Harrison - Jedi Master; deserter." He shot her a look. "Over a decade and that's how I'll be remembered. Nothing but a name once their use for me is through. Sentiment is a poison. Don't fall for it."

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

Joza’s face firmed, an unintended reaction to the way he spoke, eyes glancing over to the glass of blue milk before shifting back up to the man in question. “If your hands were really washed of the Silver Jedi, you would have been gone a while ago. Does your…lingering have a purpose?” A step forward, closer to the Dark Master and the corner her upper lip raised just slightly. “I’m talking about sabotage, of course.” She exhaled sharply through her nose, as if it were a joke. Part of her had to wonder if he was up to something, perhaps preparing a parting gift for the Silver Jedi.

“Who did you speak to? Among the Sith, I mean.” Arms crossed over her stomach, she leaned the weight of her body against the outer corner of the kitchenette.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

At her question, Connor matched her smirk. So this was the nature of her visit - a playful ribbing, or intelligence gathering. He could imagine Coci panicking and having someone close to get in and find out what the hell he was doing.

Taking his time drinking, looking at her standing there, he finished the blue milk and set it down.

"I'm going to miss having this thing on tap," he said looking to the glass. "One of the best things here."

He returned to Joza and folded his arms, leaning forward a little.

"That's right. We who step out of the Light turn to sabotage - rigging bombs and booby traps. No, Joza, I'm simply cleaning up my affairs and then I'm out of here. And I guarantee it'll be weeks before anyone notices. I may see if anyone wants to come with me in the meantime, but if not, so be it." With a smile, he shook his head. "I can't give you all my secrets can I. They're the only allies I have out there right now."

Suddenly, he realized he'd been very ignorant. With an extension of his hand, he motioned to the kitchenette beside her.

"Drink?"

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

Her head leaned back, resting against the wall and better exposing the slow grin that curled her features, even going so far as to light up her eyes. It was, in a way, familiar. Joza never quite found her place among the Silvers. She helped where she could, but tended to work quietly on her own projects. The Alliance was a bit too militaristic for her, and she doubted that with her connections and alignment she’d be very much welcome into their ranks anymore—though they didn’t seem to be above fighting alongside those of the Darker might. “I don’t suppose that you have any Gin.” Connor had never been much of a drinker, and she shrugged. “Sure. Hit me.”

“Secrets don’t make friends, Connor.” Her voice was teasing, but she chuckled and didn’t pursue it. “And it’s a shame. I was looking forward to seeing if you were going to leave us a parting gift.” Her head tilted to the side, still pressed against the wall as she took a few moments to examine him.

“What if this new venture doesn’t work out?” She clicked her tongue. “I should probably do something, either way. Given that you’re a soon to be traitor.” Still, she made no move to act on that. This was all banter, right?

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

The raise of his brow said little, with the little smirk. Was he inviting trouble? Shrugging it off? Goading her? He walked past her with that smirk and crouched down and looked in the small fridge, light casting over his face. He tutted. Standing, he pulled one of the many glasses he'd never used and tapped out some cold water instead.

"Same colour, but easier on the head. Sorry."

He left again and went back to the table, this time he folded the arms while she drank.

"The parting gift to you all will be the eternal question of whether or not one day I'll be the one to come knocking with an army to take you all apart standing in my way of conquest." He looked at her and laughed a little. "Too dramatic? It was, wasn't it. Ok."

Stretching his arms out, he was puzzled as to why she was here at all, not that he minded.

"So, Joza, what now? I've done nothing to warrant you being here so I can only ask the question again - what can I do for you? Having sleepless nights thinking if what I said on Lianna was true? Tempted to take a bite from the apple of truth and see how powerful you can become? Have anything you want and stand above everyone who ever cast judgmental eyes on you? I've heard them, you know. The Silvers. What they say about you. What they think."

He looked down and picked the edge of the table nonchalantly, laying the breadcrumbs ever so casually for her.

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

Easier on the head? “Not particularly,” Came her amused response, but she tilted her head in a mock gesture of thanks all the same. Tilting the glass to her lips, she took a long, slow drink and watched Connor intently has he spoke. An army certainly seemed like a bit much, and she had to smile—tightly, tiredly—as he cast the lure. Subtle, almost, and perhaps he would have her eating the palm out of her hand a few years back.

One last gulp of cool water, and she lowered the glass, wiping her lips with the back of her hand in a delicate swipe. Her eyes glossed over in contemplation, and she pressed a finger to her lower lip. “Let me see…that I’m not a real Jedi, I have duplicitous undertones, that I straddle the fence as much as I straddle Sith? Indecisive? Promiscuous? Disloyal? Vain?” Her free hand shot forward, curling into the front of Connor’s tunic to pull him closer, enough that he’d feel her breath against his face as her lips parted to croon.

“Insatiable?”

She allowed her tongue to roll over her lower lip before biting her lip softly for just a moment. Her hand dropped from him, and at once she had reigned herself in. “Is that what you think of me, Connor? I thought you knew me better. I’d been labeled a whore since day one…pink skin does that to you. Granted, it wasn’t entirely overt—not until I personally breathed life into the rumors—but you get what you get. It’s also why I keep my distance. I have my own interests, and they’re not nearly as malicious as you’d think.” Stepping back from him, Joza took her time to look around his room, moving slowly. “I’ve been an empath since birth. Reading people—gleaning their emotions, even thoughts—is somewhat of a specialty.” Tilting her head back to catch his eyes, she simply smiled and continued about her business.

“As for your offer of power, I’m afraid I’m going to have to decline.” Picking up an empty glass on the nearby kitchenette counter, she appeared to inspect it with interest for a few moments. “I’m not after any sort of fantastic power. What’s the fun in getting everything that I want?” Musing softly, she placed the glass down, smoothing one had across the counter to feel its surface. “I’m not the type to wither under a few judgmental glances, [member="Connor Harrison"]. Are you?” Turning towards him, that tight smile was back on her face.

“To be honest, Connor, I have been thinking about some of the things you’ve said to me on Lianna. What exactly am I to you?”

 

[Connor Harrison]

The girl was certainly weaving her allure right now; gone was Mother Perl, here stood Zeltron Perl. Devoid of that tired, bubbly new-mummy look and full of confidence and curiosity. All he could do was listen to her, for she was still fascinating. Listening to her almost think aloud and make each sentence a rhetorical question almost. Even when she pulled him closer, he just went along for the ride; the breath on his face, the bright eyes and the bite on the lip.

Connor knew this game well. He hadn't played it before, but he imagined Joza had with many before. Maybe even with Haytham. He stood, a crook of a smile on his lips as she went on.

He watched her move around, looking and analyzing, questioning and contemplating. It was a wonderful interrogation of sorts. When she was finally finished and back to the worktop.

"Can I just say, take what you know of your Sith out of the equation, and put me in there, alright. I am not one seeking vanity, galactic conquest or to stab people in the back. I'm not one of them. I want to make this place better for those willing to take the action needed to make it so. That, or I'm just fed up of lying to myself and others about who I really am. I've told you this before, but right now I don't care what you or they say. I'm done with caring about it. But you should care. You're not a whore like they say you are. You're better than them and you know it."

Connor turned to face her and offer his part to that "confident and curious" game she was playing.

"And what are you to me?" He didn't miss a beat. "You're afraid. You're confused. Of both who you are and what you want. You've only taken to motherhood well because it was forced on you - you didn't make the choice and didn't expect it to happen willingly. And you're here again, a different person to who you were on Lianna. A different Joza. Which is the real one." He winced a little. "I've always got time for you, and I always said I would, but I'm not going make a fool of myself in doing so. What have you been thinking about?"

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

“Oh, no.” She had to stifle a Cheshire smile from spreading across her face, but it may as well have been there with her exaggerated drawl. “I’m afraid you’ve got me wrong there. Whore or not, it doesn’t weigh too heavily on me these days. Better is subjective, and I’d rather not waste my time pulling my hair out over things like that—I’ve got companies to run, products to develop and a child to raise. Let them think what they want.” She flicked her head to the side once, sending red hair out of her face and over her shoulder. “There’s nothing wrong with being a bit meek now and then. But that’s why you’re confused about me, isn’t it? You can’t tell if I’m putting on an act or not.”

Humming softly, she pressed herself against that same corner, leaning on her hands as she slipped them behind her back. “They’re one and the same, Connor. They’re both the real me. You dropped a bomb on me back in Lianna, and it took me by surprise so I did my best to try and be fair and unobtrusive. Now that I’ve had time to process it, I realize that you still seem to think I’m that lost little girl who got pregnant by her boyfriend and didn’t know what to do.” One of her hands moved slowly, deliberately towards her pocket and pulled out an unlit cigarette. Slotting it between her fingers, she flicked it once. “I can’t really blame you, though. Given that most of our meetings had me a teary mess, it’s only natural that you’d think I’m emotionally unstable. And maybe that’s true.” A serpentine smile slithered onto her face, looking a few tics before sinister. “Maybe that’s true.”

The cigarette remained unlit, and she continued to idly toy with it. “Motherhood was the best thing that happened to me, honestly. Suddenly it wasn’t all about me and my problems anymore—it was about him. I had to become a better person for him. A good example. A provider. I’d like to think that in those terms, I’m on the right path. My girls look up to me, too. The ones at the studio. Quite a few of them had chitty lives for a while, but you should see the way they smile now.” And then, she smiled in fondness of what she had, of what she’d built, of what it could become.

“I do pharmaceutical research now, too. Been developing an oral contraceptive for both men and women—free to you once I finish clinical trials.” A wry smile curled her lips. “Gotta keep the Sith from breeding any further. Is that what you are now? A Sith?”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

For the whole time she talked, Connor stayed still, arms folded, fingers rubbing slowly against his underarm.

Now the real Joza was here. And it was confusing as it was exciting - what must have happened to reduce this woman to a shell of her former self, a self Connor never knew. Here she was running companies and studios and leading others to find a few credits with work. He couldn't work out if she saw herself as entrepreneur or Jedi wannabe.

"I'm flattered," he said dryly, "but that's not something I think I'll need. A Sith? No. Not yet. I have to discover my new identity before I give myself a label. But trust me, I'm giving myself the title I choose, not what others hang on my neck."

He walked to her and gently plucked the cigarette from her plump lips.

"No smoking," he said, slipping it in her hand. "And I'm not being rude, but I'm not in the mood for your games. We've done this before. I don't think you're a mess, but that's the only you I've known. Each time I helped you, and I never judged you. I did my best, and you pushed me away because I probably was too dependent on your company. I don't know, and now I don't care."

A beat passed.

"Why did you come here."

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

“Not yet? So there’s a chance?” A brow arched. “Why give yourself a label at all then? Just do what you’re going to do.” Was she encouraging him? Who knew. In a way, that was how she lived her life, it just happened that her own interests coaligned with that of the Jedi. Someday it would come to bite her in backside, she figured.

Joza didn’t pout or make a face as he removed the unlit cigarette from between her lips and placed it between her fingers.

“Well, that’s no fun.” With her free hand, she reached out to touch his face—just the fingertips ghosted down the side of his cheek, then his jaw before pulling away. If he didn’t care, then she wouldn’t try and explain it again. As fun as it was going in circles, she still owed him an explanation. This time, point blank.

“I wanted to try and figure out what you really are—but it looks like you don’t even know, Connor.” A pause, and she flicked the cigarette in her hand, briefly thinking about lighting it. “And I wanted to thank you, for all you did in helping me. You encouraged a part of myself to grow that I buried beneath polite smiles and indifference.” A flicker of flame sprouted from the index finger of her free hand, and she held it against the end of the cigarette for a few moments. “Do you know how you come across to me, Connor? You’re a concerned, caring self-martyr who think he knows better. Who sacrifices himself for the good of others so he gets to wallow in self-pity and feel sorry for himself.” Not that he would care, right?

She raised the cigarette to her lips, taking her time as she inhaled a deep drag before tilting her head to the side, expelling smoke from the corner of her mouth. “Or you use to be, anyhow.”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

This was a battle of words and wit it seemed, and his cool expression remained and he raised his face a little at her touch. It was true; relishing someone close to him was a weakness, and something he'd always wanted, but never been allowed. Connor pulled back gently.

Her lecture to him however was evidently hitting a nerve, and his face fell a little, the eyes getting harder and the prickling heat running over his skin, aggravating all those scars and soft flesh. He pushed his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

"I know who I am," he snapped, "so back off, alright."

It wasn't a request.

"The second I leave this temple I leave the Silver Jedi and turn my focus to the Dark. The Dark Side is strong in me, Joza, do you get it now? The Sith mantle may well be one I take but I have to find my new place in this galaxy and take it. I know just who I am and what I want."

He looked at her, blowing that smoke out. The old needed to die to make way for the new. Connor stepped forward and extinguished the cigarette with the index finger and thumb, pressing together leaving a soft sizzle and black stain on his digits that didn't phase him.

"No sacrificing myself anymore. I've done that and it got me nowhere."

With the same aggressive hold she had taken on him minutes ago, Connor reached and pulled her to him by the scruff of her lapels, with both hands, and pulled the top open mid-way down. The next second, his hand was behind her neck and his lips pressed against hers, taking in a long, savouring kiss tasting both fresh smoke and perfume on her. He squeezed his hand tight for a second before letting go with a small gasp, and a slight lick of the bottom lip.

"One last time before I lose my patience - why did you come here?"

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

A short gasp left her lips as he pulled her forward, the fabric of her top tearing slightly as he forced it open. Before she knew what was happening—and in a way, she knew it would happen—his lips were on her own, drawing her into a fervent kiss. Joza didn’t encourage it, but she didn’t pull away from him either, body frozen in place until he pulled away and prompted her. For a moment she didn’t respond but simply stared up at him, trying to read the intent behind those cold blue eyes.

“I’m not going to fool myself into thinking that I’m important to you.” She found her words at last, soft and murmuring. As close as they were now, he’d be able to feel the heat of her breath drift onto his face. Her gaze dipped down, briefly, to the exposed pink flesh before moving back up to Connor. “But you want what the others have taken, don’t you?”

Her hand cupped his face, gently caressing alongside his cheek before she reeled back and slapped him with an open palm. Before he’d even feel the sting, her other hand wove its way into his hair and yanked him forward, pressing her lips to his in a short, urgent kiss. Then, all at once, she pulled away as if it hadn’t happened. “I came to say goodbye, Connor.”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Fuelled by a drive that was almost alien to him, Connor caught his breath, hearing her words and keeping calm when she came closer.

The slap connected and it burnt like hell, but then she kissed him and the pain vanished, but returned once she pulled back. Talk about a whirlwind romance.

His face went to the cheek she slapped.

"Wait...what? Goodbye?" He was confused, and panicking. "Where are you going?"

Connor frowned a little, the sliver of doubt coming back into his mind he was trying to hard to build up.

"I'm sorry...that...look, you're...you are important to me for crying out loud, I just - I don't know what you want from me, I don't know what's real and what's not."

His hands went up and brushed over his face, emotion bubbling over with a heavy sigh leaving his swelling chest.

"Why did you come here to say goodbye. There was no need. None. You could have just vanished and I'd have accepted it from Lianna." He turned his head slightly. "Did you want my reaction? Is that it, for you to feel in control?"

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

By this point she’d taken a step back, but hadn’t yet gone to fix her shirt. Exposing herself was a sign of weakness, but it was just the two of them, and he’d incited her Zeltron nature. “I’m not leaving.” She shook her head. “You are, Connor. I knew it was only a matter of time until you left the Silvers—and frankly I’m surprised that it hadn’t been sooner. I didn’t expect to find you here, but it seems I’ve caught you on the cusp of your departure.”

At his last bit, she arched a brow. “There certainly was a need. You were upset when we drifted so I figured that this time, at the very least, I owed you a goodbye.” Her fingers combed through her mass of red waves, brushing the crimson tress over one shoulder as she took a slow step towards Connor. “I’ve been in control since I’ve walked through that door. But that seems to be a common theme among…” A pause, and she tilted her head towards him with a meaningful look. “Control. You’re tired of being stepped on, so you vow to gain control over your life—over everything, so nothing can hurt you again. It’s enough to drive a man mad.” Another step, and she was right back in front of him, looking up at him with the most clinical gaze.

“If you’re really serious about this,” She curled her fingers along one of his hands, ushering it into her gentle grasp. “This transition over to the Dark,” Her thumb grazed his palm, and she guided his hand to her chest, resting it so as to cup one side. “Then take my control away.”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Pursing his lips, swallowing his pride, Connor allowed himself this one moment of weakness. Adjusting to the thought of losing anything and everything he once knew was enough to make any man a shadow of their former selves. As she came closer, toying with her hair and his emotions, he rubbed the back molars with his tongue as the weight came back to his shoulders.

It burnt him with her admitting she'd been in control. Because she had. And then she took control again, placing his hand on her chest. His hand stayed still as he looked back at her.

"I can take it away by not resorting to some barbarian act."

The hand slowly rose up her chest and to the side of her neck, teasing the collarbone, before cupping the side of her face, pushing back a red curl.

"I'm serious about many thing, including what I said on Lianna. Many people think you're one thing, but I think you're something else. A beautiful woman with so much to give." He curled his hand around her neck and pulled her head down gently to him to kiss her on the forehead, and leant on her brow for a few seconds.

Connor inhaled gently.

"The darkness is my ally, but the darkness won't stop me from loving you as Joza Perl, not just a Zeltron," he whispered.

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

When he first spoke, Joza seemed genuinely surprise for a moment. Olive eyes softened and full lips parted, and for a moment she thought it was a distraction, that he’d tear off her clothes and throw her against the bed, wall, table, wherever. Did she even want him to do it?

But then his hand moved, and not in the aggressive way she had imagined. It gently traced up her neck, light and unobtrusive as his palm came to rest against the side of her face. “I don’t…” She breathed out, brows pinching in confusion. “I don’t understand…why…?” Her gaze would sweep down to the exposed flesh of her chest, shifting her shoulders in unrest.

Wide eyes peeked up at him from beneath her fringe as a leaned against her forehead and while she wanted badly to stay that way, Joza pulled away to look him in the eyes. “You’re not the only one who thinks that about me, Connor.” Glancing away, she sighed heavily, seemingly drained. “You shouldn’t love me at all, you know. It’ll only make things more difficult.”

In a way, this almost reminded her of the day things soured indefinitely between her and Haytham. Granted she’d been much younger and the circumstances weren’t the same, but the sentiment was there. She’d only cause Connor pain just as she’d caused it to the father of her child. She didn’t wish that on Harrison. He didn’t deserve that.

[member="Connor Harrison"]