Private What Once Was

[Simon Meinrad]

C A V A L I E R
CORUSCANT | JEDI TEMPLE
Zhea Nox

Years ago…​

“To hell with the Alliance,” he boldly remarked out loud with anger in his voice. He has heard the recent news of the Alliance’s stance towards the Jedi when they were investigated for their actions during the ongoing war with the decaying Sith Empire. Accused of war crimes in their quest to end a malevolent empire that benefited itself from the suffering and oppression it had pressed against many worlds under its thumb.

Simon shouldn’t have said out loud, even within the halls of the temple as there could’ve been spies within.

“To hell with the Jedi that collaborate with these vermin,” still speaking out without hesitation, mainly talking to his dear friend who was matching his fast, violent pacing. Between the two, she was more calming than Simon and much more patient than him. He was more like a storm when riled up, always was as he prided himself as a man, as a Jedi to do the right thing.

“They did not bled with us, they did not suffer loss with us. Damn politicians that think nothing but their ego and little ounce of power they hold on so dear to,” as if they knew anything about power when compared to the might of the Force.

“And don’t you try to find reason behind this, you know I’m right, Zhea…you and I both were there.”

 

[Zhea Nox]

ECLIPSE
JEDI TEMPLE | CORUSCANT
TAG: Simon Meinrad

UMA​

"To hell with the Alliance."

The news had hit them all hard. Well, everyone that wasn't some senator's pocket. But Simon stating it so boldly was something new. The wrong person hearing it might just land him in bad water.

He could usually be compared to a hurricane when a wrong was witnessed. Now was no different in that regard as he swept through the temple. Zhea kept pace with him, however. Rather her than some other Jedi that didn't exactly know how to deal with his outbursts. She knew there wasn't much you could do other than let the storm subside.

"To hell with the Jedi that collaborate with these vermin."
That was when she spoke up.
"Let's not go as far as calling them vermin, now." she said, her voice was soothing. "They're still people, despite their decision about this." Not that it helped much this time as he took them both mentally back to that bloody campaign against the Sith. It hadn't been easy on any of them.

“And don’t you try to find reason behind this, you know I’m right, Zhea…you and I both were there.”
The young Kiffar woman sighed as she reached out toward his shoulder to slow him to a stop.
"You're right - there is no reason behind it." she started. "But Simon, isn't up to us as servants of the peace to not react rashly to it?" she then asked him softly. He had to start calming down one way or another.

It could be catastrophic if he didn't.

 

[Simon Meinrad]

C A V A L I E R
CORUSCANT | JEDI TEMPLE
Zhea Nox

She was the only that could tolerate him and get him to calm his anger. He practically grew up with her throughout the years within the Order, enjoying her company that his other peers. Upon the touch on his shoulder did he come to a stop, looking at her with a glare; his eyes spoke of anger and betrayal. It was the first time he looked at her in morning when hearing the shocking news.

Still there was a storm within him, wanting to roar with thunder. Though was there any end to it?

"But Simon, isn't up to us as servants of the peace to not react rashly to it?"

“I grow tire of that mindset, Zhea,” his words more bold as he spoke, though he spoke more softly towards the Kiffar. He once was an enthusiastic Jedi, but now questioned the Order. Only Zhea knew how much he doubted the Jedi. “It is…ignorant how we are taught that. Instead of being reactive individuals, we should be proactive. Take matters into our own hands.”

 

[Zhea Nox]

ECLIPSE
JEDI TEMPLE | CORUSCANT
TAG: Simon Meinrad

UMA​

He was straying into dangerous waters now.

The tempest still raged within him. The only comfort she had, was that it was not directed towards her. Of all the people in the temple, she was the one always exempt from it. There may be hope yet.

Hopefully.

“I grow tire of that mindset, Zhea. It is…ignorant how we are taught that. Instead of being reactive individuals, we should be proactive. Take matters into our own hands.”
Before the Knight could stop herself, she cupped his face between her hands, forcing him to meet her eyes.
"Listen to yourself, Simon. There's more to it and you know it." she told him calmly before dropping her hands. "Look at Ryv and Bernard - they're very much proactive while still being Jedi." She sighed while stepping back. She had a shrewd idea that nothing was going to sway him in that moment. He had good points, however. The Jedi-doctrine wasn't foolproof. No practice in the whole wide Galaxy was. It was only up to each individual to improve the doctrine.

"Complaining about the flaws isn't going to solve the problem." she said sadly. "It's our job as servants of the Light to rather work together to help improve those flaws. If we all did it the same way, though, then it won't be balanced either. A sword and shield works best when they are together." Young as she still was, her gift as Sage shone through brightly in her words. Her sapphire eyes looked at him pleadingly then.

"Help me make the Order better, Simon. Please."

 

[Simon Meinrad]

C A V A L I E R
CORUSCANT | JEDI TEMPLE
Zhea Nox

Taken by surprise as her hands came to his face, calmed a bit as he focused his eyes on her own pair. Her face was pleading for him to see reason, to find a reasonable solution to help all of them. Her words mirrored her emotions as she spoke. Far more diplomatic and patient than him, always wanting to find a mutual compromise. Admirable, but it also frustrated him to see her so forgiving.

The two complemented each other with their dynamic personalities, and always attracted towards each other.

He listened and considered her words, though he wasn’t sure if the Order would truly evolve from this predicament. Then came a wild idea to his mind.

“What if…what if we ran away, just the two of us,” and reached for both of her hands. “Away from all of this. We can do much more good on the Galaxy by ourselves. No more politics, we alone can make an impact on those who are unfortunate and in great need.”

She would most likely reject the proposal, but he hoped his words persuaded her in some fashion. To open her mind and consider the possibilities.

 

[Zhea Nox]

ECLIPSE
JEDI TEMPLE | CORUSCANT
TAG: Simon Meinrad

UMA​

At least he calmed down slightly.

Enough that he seemed to consider her words. They had always balanced one another out. Had always been able to put each other's mind at ease in their own ways. This was one more of those cases.

He took her hands in his and met her gaze and she knew the words that would leave his mouth would be a wild idea that held enough merit.
“What if…what if we ran away, just the two of us. Away from all of this. We can do much more good on the Galaxy by ourselves. No more politics, we alone can make an impact on those who are unfortunate and in great need.”
It was truly tempting. Enticing enough that she almost agreed to it, had even opened her mouth to do so.

But Youngling laughter outside stopped her.

They were still young enough to not be aware of the predicament the Order found itself in - the betrayal of the Senate. They were the hope for the future.

With a sad sigh, Zhea closed her eyes as she held onto his hands like a lifeline before she finally met his eyes again.
"I want to. I really want to. But there are still little ones here that would need proper guidance. I'd rather show them how to be better than leave them to be led astray and make our work harder in the end, Simon." she said, emotion threatening to bubble to the forefront. "Please don't let me do it alone. I beg you." she added softly.

All she could do was hope that he would see it the same way.

 

[Simon Meinrad]

C A V A L I E R
CORUSCANT | JEDI TEMPLE
Zhea Nox

He’d bet anything and everything he had to his name that she’d give him the answer he was hoping for. High expectations and all. How could she refuse his proposal? They had done everything together. She was just about to open her mouth…

…only for a sad sigh to escape it.

High expectations often lead to great disappointments.

All because of the young ones. A noble cause, but not one be shared with Zhea. Not now anyway. Since the news he began to lose hope and faith in the Jedi and the Alliance as a whole.

To hell with the younglings. He only cared about his ideals and Zhea. Their hands still held on to each other, both not wanting to let go of the other. Sadly, however, Simon made his decision and would not go back on it.

“Alright…” with disappointment in his voice, “I suppose I can at least try,” though he was already planning his exodus. Not now, but soon. Perhaps in the dead of night. Cowardly, but at least he wouldn’t have to see her heartbroken.

“Well, what should we do for the rest of today?”

The very last day he’d wear the robes of the Jedi.

 

[Zhea Nox]

ECLIPSE
JEDI TEMPLE | CORUSCANT
TAG: Simon Meinrad

UMA​

He should have known better than to try and mask it.

She knew him better than anyone. Of course she would feel his emotions, even though most others would not. And how right she was. The disappointed tone in his voice cut deeper that any saber, even as he agreed with her. She knew then that she had lost him. That it was only a matter of time before her rock would leave.

But it was a Kiffar's nature to stand firm when storms rage.

Zhea gave his hands a squeeze as she smiled at him.
"Thank you." she said before reluctantly letting go.
“Well, what should we do for the rest of today?”
She thought on it for a heartbeat.
"We haven't sparred in more than a week now. How about that? It's not like we have much else to do currently, being confined here." she suggested.

She needed the practice anyway.

 

[Simon Meinrad]

C A V A L I E R
CORUSCANT | JEDI TEMPLE
Zhea Nox

A spar was what he needed, but not against her. He was too wound up in his anger to spar Zhea. Against anyone else, yes, but he wouldn’t risk his emotions in potentially harming her.

“A spar sounds nice, but I’m too…distracted to perform, Zhea,” excusing himself with his valid reason. “I’m not sure right now is the good time for me to wield a lightsaber.”

“But another time, how’s that?”

It could be tomorrow, if it ever arrives.

“Why not stroll a bit more here? Help me ease my mind.”

 

[Zhea Nox]

ECLIPSE
JEDI TEMPLE | CORUSCANT
TAG: Simon Meinrad

UMA​

His excuse was valid.

Even though, on one side, she felt slighted, she could understand his mindset. She definitely wouldn't break, but she could respect his wariness to pick up a saber in that moment.

A reassuring smile rested on her face.
"Of course, Simon. It's not like the training area is ever going anywhere." she joked before she slid her arm through his. "How about the gardens? The sun would do you good." she suggested. She needed the water from the fountains to ease her own mind as well.

Being confined like they were, those with free spirits were struggling. Even though she didn't share his emotional outbursts, she still shared the frustration of being bereft of the freedom from traveling the Galaxy. Hailing from a planet with wide open spaces, staying in the Temple too long did let her feel caged. Simon knew full well that the gardens were her escape to find a sliver of peace and that he was the only one she was willing to share that peace with.

His current mindset made no difference in that regard.