Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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 What do you guys think of this post?

Tyco Rainer

Guest
T
I think the flow is really good and it reads well. Your word choice is pretty solid and paints the imagery in a vivid, fluid way that easily transitions from one picture to the next.

The one criticism I have is that I personally think you could be more creative in choosing pronouns for your character, in that you choose to reference him by name repeatedly, rather than using a moniker or basic pronoun. That would clean it up and assist in the digestion of the piece overall.
 
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Josia Ogunder

Guest
J
I think the flow is really good and it reads well. Your word choice is pretty solid and paints the imagery in a vivid, fluid way that easily transitions from one picture to the next.

The one criticism I have is that I personally think you could be more creative in choosing pronouns for your character, in that you choose to reference him by name repeatedly, rather than using a moniker or basic pronoun. That would clean it up and assist in the digestion of the piece overall.
Alright, I'll keep that in mind.
 

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