Private Once Upon Another Time

[Jacen Nimdok]

Harem Club
Uscru Entertainment District, Coruscant

The Harem Club opened the minute the sun went down, and with the coming darkness there was a steady stream of clientele passing through the neon-lit entrance.

Some were only interested in gambling. They bought their tokens and took a left in the lobby, heading for the casino. The rest of them turned right into the lounge—a spacious chamber draped in shades of red and pink and dimly lit by the soft glow of oil lamps. There, males and females of a variety of species were on display, their scantily clad bodies doused in perfume and pheromones.

Somewhere among them was the one he was seeking. Approaching a Sullustan bouncer, he asked, “Excuse me. Where is the one called Maetel?”

The bouncer eyed him with suspicion. “She’s expensive.”

“Money is not an issue,” Nimdok replied with a wave of his hand. “Just tell me where she is.”

The bouncer shook his head. “You stay here. I’ll tell her you want to see her.”

Walking among the crowded lounge, the bouncer approached a dark beauty laying on a couch. Leaning down, he whispered in her ear and pointed in Nimdok’s direction. The woman nodded, stood up and walked over to Nimdok.

“Hello,” she said, her tone oozing sensuality. “I heard you wanted me.”

“That’s correct.” He play-acted the role of the appraising client, looking her up and down before adding, “Why don’t we go somewhere more private?”

She gestured for him to follow her to the lift. He trailed after her, but kept his distance. Until he could be sure this woman was the person he was looking for, he didn't want her getting any ideas.

The Harem Club had three hundred levels. Once upon a time the place had been a hotel, or so he had heard, until about ten years ago when it was bought out by a woman named Tahiri Levine. Ever since then, it had been one of the district’s largest casino-brothels.

In the lift, Maetel moved closer to him, testing the waters. He watched her, but didn’t react when she touched him. Eventually, her advances ceased, though she kept her alluring gaze upon him, a smirk on her painted lips.

On the hundred-thirty-third floor they got out, and from there she led the way to Room 524, which she unlocked with a keycard.

The room was well-furnished, with adjustable lighting, a full liquor bar, a built-in sound system, a video screen mounted on the wall, and of course a full size bed with satin sheets.

Turning to Nimdok, Maetel folded her hands delicately in front of her. “May I ask for your name?”

“I am Nimdok,” he replied, then skipped straight to business. “I was told you had the ability to change your appearance.”

She smiled and walked over to him, touching his shoulders. Her fingers slowly stroked upward until they finally entwined at the back of his neck. “What did you have in mind?”

Taking out his datapad, he clicked a few buttons, then turned the screen toward her. It displayed several pictures of an attractive Alderaanian woman with dark curly hair and soft brown eyes.

“My late wife,” he said softly.

Sympathy—or perhaps pity—flickered in her gaze. “All right,” she said, her smile returning. Releasing him, she took a step backwards. “What was her name?”

“Bithia.”

Maetel’s skin crawled. In moments she had taken on the form of the woman in the photos, down to the exact curve of her figure and the parting of her hair. She also did away with the sheer black dress she had been wearing, instead standing naked before him.

“Is this to your liking?” she asked, turning around slowly so he could see all of her.

“An excellent job,” he said, unable to keep the sadness out of his voice. He recognized the method of transformation as that of a fellow Shi’ido—which could only mean one thing. “Have you always called yourself Maetel, or did you have another name once?"

She faced him, her expression puzzled. "You may call me whatever you wish."

“On Sh-shuun, many years ago,” he went on, switching from Basic to Shi-idese. “I knew a woman called Inanna. I was parted from her by foolish ambition. Now I go by a different name.”

A myriad of emotions crossed her face. Shock. Sadness. Fear. Annoyance. “Who are you really?” she demanded, though judging by the pained look on her face she had already guessed the answer.

“It has become too dangerous to speak my old name aloud. But know this. If you are Inanna, then I am sorry I ever left you.”

Her mouth fell open, her eyes filling with tears. “...Ari?” she whispered.

He raised a finger to his lips, then took a seat on the plush bed. “Come and sit with me.”

Still in shock, she approached him cautiously. Clothing spread back over her form, a modest white gown hiding her nakedness.

"How did you find me?"

"I looked you up," he replied gently. "Your name is still in the Coruscanti database from when you were attending the Jedi Temple. It listed your current employer as well. I only had to ask about a changeling woman who worked here."

“I’m sorry you had to see me like this,” she said, holding her head in her hands. “I wish the circumstances were different.”

“So do I,” he murmured. Wrapping an arm around her, he pulled her close. She accepted his embrace, letting him hold her, but there was a stiff reluctance to her posture.

“You sought me out for a reason, or else you never would have come here.”

He sighed. “You can see right through me.”

“I know you too well.” She stroked his cheek. “I wish we had more time, but the clock has been ticking ever since I put the keycard in. You've only got... seventeen minutes left."

"They really rush their clients that much?"

"Yes, for which I am grateful."

The hint of pain in her voice filled him with regret. Their faces were so close, their noses were almost touching. He felt her breath against his lips, and longed to close the distance between them.

Instead, he spoke. “Can we arrange to meet again somewhere else, where we’ll have more time to talk?”

“How about tomorrow afternoon at the Reflection Gardens?” she suggested. "I'll meet you there at around two o'clock."

“It won't be too much trouble for you?” he asked, genuinely concerned. The Harem Club was a Coruscant establishment, and therefore was subject to the planet's strict regulations, but a cruel mistress' machinations couldn't be stopped by the law.

“There will be trouble,” she admitted. “But that’s not going to stop me.” She stood up, returning to the form she had been in when he arrived, and held out the keycard. “You’ll need to take this down to the front desk. Don’t worry—I’ll see you again soon.”

Nimdok took the card. “I look forward to it.”

He left her in the room, heading back down to the lobby alone. He turned in the keycard, which logged the amount of time he spent in the room with her in order to calculate the bill. He paid for her “services”, exited the Harem Club, and went home.

 

[Jacen Nimdok]

As soon as he walked through the door of his apartment, Nimdok knew Miri was still awake. It wasn’t because he noticed some small detail—a favorite toy that had been left in the living room or the presence of unwashed dishes on the table. No, something about the atmosphere of the place perpetually reflected her state of mind.

DV-7, her droid caretaker, had already powered down for the night. The droid was in sleep mode in the corner, its upright mechanical body in a semi-relaxed position. Nimdok slipped past it and headed down the hallway toward Miri’s bedroom.

He pressed a button that would open the door slowly and quietly, just to be safe. Sure enough, she was sitting cross-legged on the bed, a stuffed animal in her lap and a book at her side.

“It’s past your bedtime,” he said.

She looked over at him. Tiny fingers plucked at the folds of her pale blue dress.

“You were gone for a long time.”

“Not so long. Adults can stay up later than children.”

She continued to sit, her enormous eyes watching him. After a few moments, he finally crossed the threshold into her room—but was met with resistance by an invisible force.

“Miri,” he said, his tone gentle but firm. "Let me go."

The pressure abated, but he was still prevented from moving any closer to her. “Where did you go?” she asked.

“It’s a secret.”

“Where did you go?” she insisted.

He sighed. “I went to meet with someone.”

“Who?”

This time, he chuckled. He couldn’t believe he was being forcibly interrogated by a little girl in a flowery dress.

“A woman I used to love very much.”

Tiny lips parted in surprise. “You went to see a lady?”

“Yes. A very pretty lady.”

“Why’d you go see her at night and not when it’s daytime?”

At last, he was able to slowly approach the bed. “Because she works at night and sleeps during the day.”

“Is she a vampire?”

The question was posed so earnestly and innocently, he had to laugh. “No, no, she’s not a vampire. She just has an unusual job that requires her to be up all night.”

“What’s her job?”

He paused in the middle of taking off her shoes (she could dress herself, but he found that if he facilitated, it sped things along) as he tried to come up with an answer that would satisfy her without revealing the truth. “People who are lonely come to see her so that they won’t be alone.”

“Did you go to see her because you’re lonely?”

Both shoes and one of her socks were off. “I went to see her because I wanted to ask her for something. She had too many appointments tonight, so we couldn’t talk for long, but we’re going to meet again tomorrow afternoon.”

“Okay.” Miri slid off the bed and held her arms up so that he could pull her day dress over her head. “Can I go with you?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Pretty please?”

“For the last time, no. And if you keep asking, I’ll have Deevee give you extra schoolwork tomorrow.”

She cringed as if the mere thought of more work caused her physical pain. Nimdok stiffened, feeling slightly nauseous as a result of her overwrought reaction.

“Come on, don’t start.” He handed her a clean pair of pajamas. “If everything goes well, I promise you’ll get to meet her soon. All right?”

In response, he received a dejected “Yeah.”

The sick feeling cleared up as she put on her clothes. Once she had hopped into bed, he turned off the lights.

“Wait!”

He turned the lights back on. She was sitting up, holding her arms out. An obvious request for a hug.

Circling around to the side of her bed, he obliged her. The resulting rush of soft warmth from her was pervasive, but it also betrayed the tiredness she was trying to fight. At six years old, she dreaded sleep, for as soon as she closed her eyes there would be visions of terror. He knew what she felt, because he frequently was subjected to her nightmares. They came slithering into his dreams, crawling through his skull, waking him in time to hear her cry out from the other room.

“You smell good,” she mumbled, stirring him from his dark thoughts.

He frowned. The Harem Club’s lounge was still clinging to him. He didn’t think the pheromones were good for a child to be exposed to, so he pulled away and went back over to the door.

“Go to sleep.”

She pouted. “I don’t wanna.”

“You have to. Don’t be scared. I’m right here.”

He turned off the lights.

 

[Jacen Nimdok]

The next afternoon, Nimdok left Miri with Deevee and headed to the Reflection Gardens. The public park had once hosted the wedding ceremony of Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade, and because of that romantic connotation the site remained a popular spot for couples. There were several pairs milling about the grounds when he arrived, enjoying the ambience or searching for a more secluded spot.

Nimdok sat on a bench perched atop a grassy hill. Before him the ground sloped down into a pond, where iridescent swim darted below the clear waters while a graceful species of bird floated across the surface. The presence of other people normally would have prevented him from concentrating too hard, but on this occasion his thoughts were racing.

It was time for him to face the facts. He was not convinced the woman he had encountered at the Harem Club was really Inanna Hoole.

Truth be told, he had not been in contact with Inanna for nearly twenty years. But no matter what the passage of time might have done to her spirit, he could not imagine her becoming a prostitute of her own free will. The woman he had known was far too dignified, confident, and principled to stoop that low.

Which of course begged the question—if the woman he was about to meet wasn’t Inanna, then who was she?

“Mr. Nimdok?”

He looked up. A woman stood over him. She was tall and trim, with bobbed hair in soft curls and a charming smile. Clad in a stylish white dress, her entire form radiated pure femininity and natural beauty. It was a far cry from the sultry courtesan whom the clientele at the Harem Club knew as Maetel.

“Hello,” he greeted, rising to his feet. Then in a low voice that nonetheless betrayed his surprise, he asked, “Inanna, is that you?”

“Yes. But in this form I prefer to call myself Penelope. It’s more elegant.” She hooked her arm through his as they started walking down one of the scenic garden paths. “Well, here I am. We can talk for as long as we want to, about anything we please.”

“I believe I owe you an explanation,” he said.

She shook her head. “I’d be happy with just an apology.”

Taking one of her lily-white hands, he clasped it between his. “I’m sorry I didn’t stay in touch. But there is a reason for it, and I think you should know…”

He told her nothing of Project Warlock beyond alluding to a failed enterprise which had set him adrift six years ago. Instead, he focused on explaining his second life as a continuation of Nimdok, the fearless archaeologist. Then, he told her about Miri, presenting it purely as a story of adoption.

“You, a single father?” she interrupted, laughing. “I didn’t think you had it in you!”

“I’m having a lot of trouble with it now,” he said with a grimace. “I can’t always be there for her. She needs someone who can fulfill the roles I can’t be—a caretaker, a teacher, a mother.”

“You mean like a babysitter?”

“More or less. But it would be a full-time job—I’m constantly traveling, and it’s too dangerous to bring Miri along with me. She needs stability.”

“Hmmm.” She tapped her finger against her lips. “And is this the reason why you sought me out? To see if I would be willing to take the job?”

He shook his head and smiled, hoping it didn’t look forced. “No, I sought you out because I wanted to know how you were doing. I can’t exactly ask your folks what you’ve been up to, and when I saw where you were employed, I was… well, I was a little concerned.”

“I’m glad you decided to care.”

He winced. “I am sorry, Inanna. I wish I had kept in touch, but it simply wasn’t possible.”

“So do I…” She averted her eyes momentarily, then looked at him again. “What exactly would this full-time babysitting job entail?”

She was clearly trying to avoid talking about herself. Still, her interest in Miri was totally in-character. One of the reasons why his relationship with Inanna had fallen through was because she wanted to stay home, settle down, and start a family, whereas he had wanted to go to school off-world and travel the galaxy. She had grown up with several siblings and had always wanted to have many children of her own—something Arimanes Bosch never could have provided her.

“It would be exactly what it sounds like,” he explained, deciding to humor her. “Someone would stay here on Coruscant with Miri while I was gone, taking care of her as a mother would, giving her a proper education, and so on. To avoid questions from the authorities, I suppose the woman would have to claim she was my wife, legal or common law, and therefore qualified to be Miri's guardian.”

She looked at him with a gleam in her eye. “What you’re proposing is practically a marriage!”

He raised an eyebrow. “Only as a matter of convenience. It doesn’t need to be anything more than that.”

Grinning, she moved in front of him so that he had no choice but to stop. They were standing in the middle of a quaint wooden bridge arching over a brook, and he suspected she had deliberately stopped them there to take advantage of the aesthetics.

She touched his cheek. “You’re not much to look at in this form, but you’ve got a lovely velvety voice. And the ears aren’t half bad.” Running her hand through his hair, she bit her lip. “I could get used to it...”

“As I said,” he murmured, hating to crush her hopes. “It would be a marriage in name only. We would be separated most of the time.”

Her expression hardened. “That's right. You would leave me here to take care of the kid while you went gallivanting around the galaxy hunting for relics.”

“That is why it’s necessary for me to find someone to take care of Miri,” he admitted.

She sighed. “Well, if that’s it, why not skip the whole babysitting thing and just put her up for adoption again? Let her go back into the system. It’s what she already knows, and I’m sure she’d be safer there than with you…”

Appalled, Nimdok tried to counter her argument, but she was already shaking her head.

“You want to avoid the responsibility without losing the kid. Is it all for show, part of your act to play the role of the loving father without doing any actual loving? That's not right. That little girl deserves more than a babysitter.” She wiped at her eyes and sniffed, trying to keep her composure. “I know you remember me as a good girl whose only dreams were of having a family. But a lot can change in twenty years. That girl is gone. I’d be the worst mother in the galaxy if I tried it now. I mean, just look at me…”

“...What happened to you?” he asked.

She looked away. He saw her throat bob as she swallowed, then she took a deep breath.

“The truth… The truth is, I burned out,” she finally answered. “It turns out I’m not very smart or good at anything, except using this.” She made a sweeping gesture from her shoulders to her feet. “I’m very good at that. So good, in fact, that I’m in demand.”

You are not Inanna, he protested internally. Whoever you are, whatever you are, you are a shell of who she was. But this hardness was getting him nowhere.

“There are other ways you could have used your talents,” he pointed out. It was becoming more difficult to keep up this sickening charade, but he was determined not to give her any hints of what he was thinking. “You are a Shi’ido. Our people may be stereotyped as deceivers, thieves and hustlers, but we’re capable of so much more.”

Her shoulders drooped in a marvelous display of shame. “I know you don’t approve—”

“It’s not a matter of my approval. It is a matter of common sense. Out of all the things you could have done, you chose the one profession which was the most beneath you.”

“I hate myself for doing it,” she mumbled, stung by his words.

“Then why did you do it?”

“I don’t know!”

Her outburst drew the attention of a few nearby onlookers. Sensing their gazes upon her, she waited until they walked away before continuing.

“It doesn’t matter what I did. What matters is the here and now.” She wrung the fabric of her dress in her fists, her eyes shining with very convincing tears. “Forget the past. I want to sweep it under the rug and forget it ever happened. Never mention it again. We’ll start anew, you and I, as if we were never apart.”

It was a moving display, but Nimdok was determined not to be swayed by good acting alone. He crossed his arms over his chest. “I want to understand.”

“There are some things that can’t be understood, especially when it comes to other people,” she replied stiffly. “I know that analytical, encyclopedic mind of yours wants to be able to catalog and categorize everything, but it just isn’t possible.”

“Please don’t be like this,” he muttered.

“What am I being like?”

“Reckless. Complacent. Desperate.” All traits he never would have associated with Inanna.

She shook her head. “We can help each other. Isn’t that enough?”

“Not if this is how it’s going to be.” He took a step away from her. “I apologize for any trouble I caused you by asking you to come here. Clearly it has been a waste of time.”

He started to walk away. Within moments, he heard her heels clicking across the pavement as she ran after him.

“Ari, wait. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to talk to you like that…”

“The conversation is over,” he said. “I have to go home. Miri is waiting for me.”

Inanna reached out and grabbed his shoulder. “Why do you care so much about this little girl who isn’t even really your daughter? What is she to you?”

There was an accusatory edge to her words that managed to cut him deep. Infuriated, he turned around to face her, slapping her arm away in the process.

“Because she is my responsibility. I’m the reason why she can’t go back to the orphanage, why she suffers from recurring nightmares about being abducted by strangers, why she is burdened with a power she doesn’t understand and can’t control.”

He spoke in a low growl, trying not to draw attention to himself. He needed to get this off his chest, but he didn't want to risk someone overhearing what he had to say.

“They experimented on her using the same techniques I pioneered. She can use the Force, but it’s all wrong—and it’s far too much for a child. They knew she was connected to me, because they deliberately put her in my way, as if to say ‘Look at what we’ve accomplished with your help—the galaxy’s most powerful freak’!”

“It’s not your fault,” Inanna whispered. “You didn’t do anything to her.”

“That makes no difference. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t been such an arrogant, stupid fool in the first place, trying to play God. If I had stayed at home with you...”

He trailed off, staring at her. She looked back at him expectantly, her blue eyes full of empathy.

With a sigh, he released her. “Now do you understand?”

In response, she threw her arms around his neck.

“Take me with you,” she breathed. “We can go back to the way things were...”

With that, she pressed her lips to his. He couldn’t bring himself to spurn her, but as soon as there was a break in the kiss he said, “Don’t be ridiculous. I was never asking you to elope with me. Get these foolish notions out of your head.”

“Oh, but I’ve already made up my mind. I want to be with you.” She leaned her head against his chest, still holding onto him tightly. “Take me away from all this. I’ll be whatever you want me to be…”

There was a quiet pop! as something darted through the trees, headed straight for them. Nimdok's danger sense flared just in time for him to push her out of the way. Within moments, paralysis spread through his body, followed by darkness and unconsciousness.

 

[Jacen Nimdok]

Inanna caught Nimdok in her arms as he went limp. Frantically she searched him, looking for the source of his collapse. His pulse was faint, but she couldn’t see any wounds on his body.

She looked around, wondering if he had somehow been attacked by an unseen force. Her time at the Jedi Temple had taught her that there were many uncertainties in the galaxy, and she had to be prepared for anything, even what seemed like the impossible.

The section of the park they were in had become suspiciously deserted. Even the background noise of birds and other wildlife had gone still. She tried to drag Nimdok into the nearby undergrowth, where he would be out of sight.

“Don’t move!”

She whirled around. Three men were approaching. They were clad in the uniforms of park police, but something about them told her they weren’t officers of the law. Their movements were too smooth, their eyes glowing with dark power.

They were Sith.

“This man’s a wanted fugitive,” one of the men said. “We shot him with a paralyzing dart in order to place him under arrest.”

“Since when do the police behave like assassins?” she snapped.

“Stay out of this, ma'am. He’s a highly dangerous crimin—”

He was cut off by her striking him across the face with her fist. The blow, powered by both her shapeshifting abilities and the Force, sent him flying. While the other two “officers” trained their weapons on her, Inanna’s skin shifted. Her fingers became razor-sharp, her mouth filled with jagged teeth. In a matter of moments she had sliced them all to ribbons.

Inanna changed form once again, shedding their spilled blood in the process. Fur sprouted from her body as she took the shape of a Wookiee. Stooping, she slung Nimdok’s body across her shoulders, then swiftly carried him off the beaten path and into the woods.

In the confusion, she couldn’t stop to think about what was happening. No matter what the explanation for the attack on Nimdok might be, she trusted him over the Sith.

She headed for the less commonly used south entrance on the other side of the park. There might be men waiting for them there as well, but she could deal with them much easier as long as there were fewer crowds to worry about.

At last, the forest ended. Her feet made contact with paved, level ground, and she slowed her pace in order to take stock of her surroundings.

A man and a woman stood near the gate, leaning against the fence, talking and smoking. They were in civilian dress, but they had the same threatening aura about them.

She hid from their view behind a garden shed and gently laid Nimdok on the ground. If there was any chance at all that the two of them were innocent bystanders, she would simply scare them off. Otherwise, she would have to fight.

Stepping out of cover, she roared a battle cry. The two immediately jumped into action—and each pulled out a lightsaber.

She had no lightsaber of her own, but the Force was with her. The two Sith were amazed at the Wookiee who brought rocks and trees crashing down upon them with her mind. Though they tried to fend off the blows with their blades, all it took was one heavy rock getting through and hitting the man in the head, knocking him out. Inanna seized control of his lightsaber and made quick work of the woman.

Retrieving Nimdok, Inanna fled the Gardens, heading for the safest place she knew.

***

Nimdok awoke in an unfamiliar place. The room he was in was dimly lit and full of shadows. He was lying on his back in what felt like a bed, but he couldn’t turn his head to look around.

While he came back into awareness fairly quickly, the paralysis was slow to abate. He started by flexing his fingers, then rotated his wrists, until gradually he regained control over his limbs.

From what he could tell, he was in a hotel room. It reminded him quite a bit of the room in the Harem Club, though the decorations were less tacky. Perhaps if he could make his way to the door...

The door opened just as he was starting to get up. In walked Inanna, in the body which she called “Penelope”. Her clothes were slightly different and her hair was pinned up, but she otherwise looked the same as she had in the Reflection Gardens.

She rushed over and tentatively laid a hand on his shoulder. “Easy now,” she said. “You don’t want to risk hurting yourself. The numbness will pass soon.”

He said nothing as she helped him into a sitting position.

“Can I get you anything?” she asked. “Something to drink?”

His throat was parched. He nodded and she left the room, returning moments later with a glass of water. After he had drunk his fill, he asked, “How long was I out?”

“Only a couple hours. The Sith came to capture you...”

She launched into a vivid retelling of her fight to smuggle him out of the Gardens. He listened, his unease growing.

“Inanna…” he began. “You realize that by saving me, you’ve put yourself right in the middle of all this?”

“I know that very well. I did it anyway, and I have no regrets.”

That is subject to change soon, Nimdok thought grimly. “Where are we?”

“We’re back at the Harem Club.” She took a seat on the bed beside him. “There’s no time limit this time, of course. I spoke to Tahiri—well, I slipped her some credits, actually. But we can hide out here as long as we need to.”

He frowned. “Where is Miri?”

She shrugged. “She should still be wherever you left her.”

He pulled out his comm, intending to ask Deevee asking if they were all right, but he stopped himself. If the Sith were able to track him down to the Gardens, they were probably monitoring his frequency and Holonet activity.

“Until I know what the Sith want, my best bet is to stay away from my apartment. That will at least keep Miri out of harm’s way.”

“No, our best bet would be to save her and get the hell off this planet,” Inanna replied. Turning toward him, she spoke fiercely. “I’ll be by your side, fighting them all the way. Let me help you escape.”

Her words sent a not-unpleasant shiver down his spine. He pursed his lips.

“I am not Arimanes Bosch anymore. No matter how much we yearn for it, you and I can’t go back to the way things were. We’re two different people now.”

“I still love you as you are. Though if you don’t feel the same… I’ll help you regardless. For your sake, and for Miri’s.”

Searching her face, he nodded slowly. “All right. Let’s go.”

 

[Jacen Nimdok]

Nimdok’s apartment had obviously been broken into. The place was in a disarray, with furniture knocked over and broken objects lying on the floor. A DV-7 droid was scattered around the living room, its parts sparking, mangled beyond repair.

As he and Inanna slowly entered, looking around for any possible threats, he felt Miri brush the edges of his mind. Distressed, she tried to force him to come to her, demanding the comfort and security of her father’s embrace.

Conversely, Inanna was roughly pushed back out of the apartment, landing with a hard thud on the floor of the hallway beyond.

Alarmed, Nimdok reached out to Miri, trying to calm her. She’s not a bad person, she’s here to help. Don’t hurt her. Don’t hurt anyone. We’re here to save you...

Rather than reassuring her, his words only seemed to upset the child more. He heard her wailing in terror from the bedroom and rushed unthinkingly to the door, slamming his palm against the controls.

The door slid open to reveal a room full of death. Bodies were strewn about the floor—or rather body parts. An obscene amount of blood covered the pink walls, the flowery quilt on the bed, the child-sized furniture and discarded toys. The noxious, metallic smell of gore hit him in a nauseating rush. He covered his nose and mouth and picked his way among the dismembered remains toward the closet.

Within was a sobbing little girl covered in blood. He reached down to scoop her up. Trying not to think about what must have happened while he was gone, he carried her out of the room.

“What the hell happened?” Inanna asked, standing at the other end of the hallway.

“I’ll explain later,” he replied, his voice strained as he carried Miri into the ‘fresher.

Beneath the harsher lighting, the blood drying on her arms, face, and clothes almost looked black. She was still crying, softer now, clear snot gleaming on her upper lip. He wiped her tear-streaked face with a damp towel, cradling her with his other arm. She smelled like a slaughterhouse.

At some point he heard Inanna passing by outside the 'fresher. She poked her head into Miri’s bedroom and gasped.

Nimdok focused on the task at hand. Methodically he cleaned Miri up, removing her bloody clothes just as he had done the night before, drawing a warm bath and setting her in it. The water darkened as he scrubbed her down, red staining the sides of the tub.

Inanna appeared in the doorway, her expression difficult to read. “What are you doing? We don’t have time for this. We have to get out of here before any more of the Sith decide to show up.”

Despite the urgency of her words, Nimdok finished bathing the child, wrapped her in a towel, and picked her up again. Miri had gone quiet and limp, succumbing to emotional and mental exhaustion. He looked at Inanna.

“She did this,” he said quietly. “She killed those men.”

“They came after her. She defended herself.”

But even Inanna’s voice was trembling with worry and shock. She clearly didn’t want to hammer him with questions at a time like this, but he knew how she was feeling. Confused, scared, wondering if she was getting herself into an even more dangerous situation by continuing to pal around with Nimdok and his little demon child.

Hesitating, he said, “I have to get her clean clothes. They’re in her closet.”

“I’ll get them,” Inanna offered, entering the horrific bedroom before he had a chance to reply. He waited until she returned, carrying a bundle of children’s clothing. Hanging behind the closed doors of the closet, they were left untouched by the bloodbath and still smelled faintly of laundry detergent rather than the oppressive metallic twang of bodily fluids.

“Here, let me get her dressed,” Inanna said. “You go pack your things.”

Retreating to his room, he grabbed a few items, only what he considered absolutely necessary. Miri’s photographs of her parents, which he’d returned to Alderaan at great risk to retrieve from the orphanage on her behalf. The holocron he’d found on Samovar. Anything that might directly link the massacre here to them—datapads, ID cards, and the like. He stuffed everything into a suitcase and carried it out of the room.

Inanna was sitting on a torn up couch with Miri asleep in her arms. She rose to her feet as Nimdok entered, and without saying a word they left the apartment together.

“This is what my work has led to,” he said once they were in the lift, resigned and rueful. “A little girl with the power to kill at will, tearing bodies limb from limb. It’s getting worse. I need to get her help, someone who can teach her to control her abilities, control her emotions…”

He was having difficulties with that himself at the moment. Despite the ludicrousness of it all, he couldn’t help believing that he had killed those men by proxy. He was glad she was safe and he didn’t feel too guilty about the Sith being dead, but it was an awful thing for such a young child to see, let alone be responsible for.

“...She won’t listen to anyone but me,” he went on. “No one else interests her. I’m the only person in the galaxy she trusts. But I’m not enough.”

Inanna clasped his arm. “Come on. We can think about the future when we’re all safely on a shuttle out of here.”

He let her pull him along, leading him by the hand through the bustling streets and skyways of Coruscant. There was no use resisting. He felt drained, hollowed out, utterly empty.

 

[Inanna Harth]

Inanna tried to think of something to say, but couldn’t. She sat beside Nimdok and Miri on the shuttle, silent all the way to the spaceport.

Once they were there, Nimdok finally started talking, but only to discuss his plans for the future. After all, the spaceport was only a transition point—they’d have to head somewhere else from there.

“We should stay out of the way… as far away from the Core and the wars as possible… the Outer Rim, or Wild Space…”

Biting her lip, Inanna finally spoke up. “What about the Unknown Regions?”

He glanced at her. “I should think that would be too remote, unless you have a specific place in mind.”

“As a matter of fact, I do.” She clasped her hands behind her back. “The Scintilla.”

She was unprepared for the stormy expression that came over his face.

“The headquarters of the Agents of Chaos? Inanna, you must be joking.”

“I’m not.” She lowered her voice. “Let’s just say I know someone, who knows someone…”

“I can’t get involved with a terrorist group,” he interrupted. “Much less with Miri to worry about.”

“The Scintilla’s location is constantly changing,” Inanna countered. “I can’t think of a safer place to raise a child, especially one that’s being… hunted.”

He looked at Miri, asleep on his shoulder. It was plain now to Inanna that even though the girl wasn’t really his daughter, he had grown to care deeply for her.

“I wanted her to receive training,” he murmured. “From a great Jedi Master I knew I could trust. But he’s gone with the others to fight the Sith and the Bryn’adul…”

“I know it’s hard,” Inanna said, genuine sympathy in her tone. “Things aren’t going the way you planned. But there’s still hope.” She touched his arm. “Let’s go to the Scintilla and lay low there for a little while. I won’t ask you to stay if you don’t like it…”

He nodded. “I’m willing to give it a shot. But you have to understand—the Agents of Chaos—”

She could hear the loathing in his voice when he uttered the name of the faction. Clearly he’d dealt with them before, and learned to hate them and all that they stood for.

“Come on,” she said. “We can even get there in a shuttle. Things have changed. They aren’t as closed off as they used to be…”

 

[Jacen Nimdok]

The shuttle took them as far as Bardotta when he realized he couldn’t go any further.

That night at the hotel, he tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Miri had been quiet ever since they left Coruscant, and her silence was far more disturbing to him than if she were screaming and tearing out her hair. It bordered on catatonia—her movements and activities were mechanical and lifeless.

He got out of bed and went over to where she lay. She was awake, staring at the wall. Sitting on the edge of the sofa bed, he swept a lock of hair off her forehead, splaying his fingers across her temple.

She didn’t flinch as his presence entered her mind. This sort of thing had become familiar to them now, a sharing of each other’s thoughts and feelings. He suspected it was a Force bond of some sort, though if it was it was far more relaxed than he’d been led to believe it would be.

He probed her mind, looking for her memories of the Sith attacking. Her terror filled him with fury toward the agents, and he derived satisfaction from seeing them die. But the tangle of her negative emotions was too much for her to bear. She couldn’t make sense of what had happened, couldn’t reconcile herself to what she had done, on instinct, out of fear.

He shouldered the burden, then whispered, “Forget.”

The memory slipped away, flitting from her mind to his. Suddenly she could no longer remember why she was so sad. Physical fatigue gently slid over her. She closed her eyes and slept.

Nimdok straightened, only to feel a hand brush his.

“Ari,” Inanna said softly.

“Don’t call me that,” he replied, walking away from Miri’s bed to avoid disturbing her. “He’s been gone for years now.”

The expression on her face made him regret saying so, but it was true. Arimanes was dead. All that was left was Heliobas and Nimdok.

She followed him into his bedroom, the door sliding shut behind her. “What should I call you, then?” she asked. “Nimdok, or Heliobas?”

“Whoever I am at the moment,” he said, sitting on the edge of his bed.

Suddenly Inanna was beside him, her eyes searching his face. “Nimdok,” she said, her voice turning his name into a sweet nothing. “I still want to help you. Isn’t that enough?”

So she knew what he was thinking. Was it really that obvious? “I have… other business to attend to,” he said. “If you want to help me, you’d take my offer and leave it at that.”

She opened her mouth to speak, but he pressed his fingers over her lips.

“Don’t ask any more of me,” he said, his tone gentle but firm.

She took his hand and kissed his palm. “Once upon another time, when our story had only begun,” she murmured, holding his hand against her cheek. “You chose to turn the page, and I made choices too… We each did what we thought had to be done. And now…”

“The moment’s gone, Inanna,” he said, slipping his hand out of her grasp. “Time stops for no one. We can’t go back. Don’t force yourself on me.”

“You’re not even willing to try again?”

He closed his eyes, sighed, and shook his head. “Cancel my ticket to the Scintilla,” he said. “I’m going to Odessen. Alone. You can take Miri—”

“I’ll do no such thing.”

“Just for a few days, long enough for me to get there and come back. Then I’ll leave you alone.”

He sensed she didn’t want him to leave her alone, but what little dignity she had left prevented her from admitting it aloud. She clearly still had feelings for him—for the person he used to be—and as much as he wanted to make her happy, he couldn’t encourage them. Not now, not like this.

At last, she answered, “Only for a few days. And Nimdok?”

He looked at her. Her eyes flicked over him like a predator assessing a potential meal.

“...You need to get laid.”

She was even willing to resort to trying to inflame his base lusts in an attempt to convince him to stay with her. “I’m flattered, but no thank you.” Returning the favor, he looked her up and down. “You made yourself look like this in hopes of impressing me. What’s your preferred form?”

She stood up, indignant at the implications of his words. But her flesh soon began to crawl. Her hair grew longer and paler. Silvery, crystalline filaments dripped from her body, and she became an ethereal woman out of dreams, the weaver of stories.

“This is why I loved you,” she breathed, a sob constricting her throat. “You always wanted me for myself.”

A great sadness filled him at her words. She truly was a shadow of what she once was, but there was still hope. “Be yourself, whether I love you or not. Go out into the galaxy and live, Inanna. And when you’ve done all that and still long for me, well, then you can come chase me down.”

The tears were definitely flowing now. She turned her back and left the room. He swallowed the lump in his throat and laid down, trying to rest.

In the morning he left for Odessen.