To Reclaim.... To Restart... [Solo]

[Minna]

"Hello young lady, what can I do for you?" The man greeted her, turning his attention from his desk for the moment. 'Young lady', something she sometimes forgot she appeared to be. She was certainly not young, but for appearance's sake she would not argue the point.
"I'm going for a new hairstyle, aswell as color. Something to stand out like... Pink..." Her smirk was noticed by the man, but he shook his head nonchalantly.
"Of course, your hair color is your choice, I'm not one to change your mind. Please, take a seat, I'll be with you shortly."
Doing as he said, Minna took her seat by one of the mirrors, awaiting his return. She drifted into thought, planning what was to come. More ideas for a new identity. A tattoo maybe? Even when he came to begin her makeover, she remained silent and distant. There was much to do, and as much as this seemed strange, her new appearance was the first step of her recreation.

A chance to start again, with the knowledge of the past, but the mindfulness of the future. She would forget what had held her back...
Even him...

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Days later, in the temperate forests of Alderaan, Minna began the next step. With only the force to guide her, she seeked the ruins of the old Grey temple, the original one at which she had spent the majority of her Padawan training. It had left a strong impression on her, both in her mind and in the force, so finding it wouldn't be too hard. She wasn't there yet, but already the memories were flooding back. Building the two nexuses, stopping the dark side cult, celebrating the ever growing base of the order. They were the good times, the relatively peaceful times. The ones she missed the most. However, she wasn't here for the nostalgia. Well, not exactly. Instead, she was here to dwell on the little remaining energy, to try and regain the parts of her she had lost. So much time had been spent at the temple that it meant a lot to her, it was like her original home. If she was going to find what she needed, she would find it there.

Alas, as the forest seemed to clear, there stood before her an old and derelict structure. Clearly it had been left in bad shape, and from here she could tell the nexus inside no longer functioned. In fact, from where she was she could see there was no tree atop of the building. It brought some sadness to her, but she focused on her purpose. Continuing down the path which was now barely visible, she noticed the rock upon which she had first met her master, Alexandra. Against her own knowledge she smiled, remembering the woman and the knowledge that she had in fact not died by the hands of the Sith. After a sigh, she moved along.

The temple wall barely deserved its name, for patches of it had fallen to form holes and breaches. Easily she made her way into the courtyard, allowing her marvel up at the vine-ridden walls of the inside. This was the spot she had frequented most, usually in training and at other times in meditation. She felt it, a small tinge of something leftover. Her presence had graced this place so much in the past that it still remained, somewhere in the force. Planting herself down on the floor cross-legged, Minna closed her eyes and breathed slowly. She connected herself to the force around her, allowing it to flow in the peaceful way she had once been taught. Slowly she expanded her aura, reaching out to the energies around. There it was, the memories, the imprints of those who once learned here. Their use of the force had remained in some way or another. Deeper and deeper she went, allowing her to feel more and more of the past. Already she felt more complete, like what she had lost was now returning.

But she knew there was much more work to do after this...

 

[Minna]

"Focus on your emotions, you must not. The force is your ally. Work with it." The faint recollection of her old voice echoed. She remembered she was teaching a student here about the basics of the force. They understood how to connect with it, but their method was forceful, too similar to the Sith. He tried to control the force and shape it to the bidding of his emotions, which ran wild in his untrained mind. "Let it flow through you. Ask it to help, do not tell." Words similar to her own master's, which she was now relaying to her student. It felt strange that she was learning from herself in some way, gaining strength literally from experience. A certain comfort came with it as well, reassurance that the galaxy was not always, and had not always been, a bad place. Out there were still those who did good, and aspired to become good. Even if the Grey Order was dead, there would still be those out there like it.

"What if it refuses to help?" The padawan asked, a voice of innocence in her silent search.
"Refuse, it will not. The force always helps..." Her own words she had once forgotten. At one point she thought it had abandoned her, with each path leading to ruin. It was only then she realized it was her own fault, she chose the paths, the force merely made them visible.
"How is he doing?" A familiar voice entered her thoughts; William Tarin, once a fellow member on the Grey Council. She hadn't seen him since her departure, she wasn't sure whether he was even alive. But here he was in the past, as easy-going and friendly as always.
"Making good progress, he is." Minna replied, the friendly tone in her voice obvious. She had always been friends with William, but never anything more. His past involved love, which was why he was adamant to stay away from it. As for herself, her interests were elsewhere...
"Good, good. I'm sure he'll be a Knight in no time." The sound of ruffling hair as the padawan and he laughed. Happiness filled her in the present day, even though that moment was in the past. Slowly she was returning to her former self; fixing what was broken.

She just had to find all the pieces...

 

[Minna]

"Go easy on you, I shall." Her old voice came again, but this time followed by the clash of lightsabers. Yes, she remembered this one. Her duel with Hakora, Alex's younger brother. He was a kid with spirit, and her overconfidence had lost her that duel. It was funny to think her problem used to be an abundance of confidence, and recently it had been a lack of it. The fighting continued, a combination of Hakora's kicking and Minna's jumping filling in the gaps between locking lightsabers. Despite the frantic nature of the memory, she still found peace in it.
"Well done, both of you. That was a close duel." Another familiar voice, this time Veino Garn. He was another council member, and yet again a friendly one. His past lay in the Jensaarai, but fortunately it seemed to not be a harrowing one. Him and Minna had progressed similarly in the Order, with her just behind him, yet he was the first to leave to help the Jedi. Always willing to protect others and give advice, the sound of his voice was a welcome nostalgia.

In present times, she knew little of what Veino was doing. As for Hakora, she remembered seeing him on Veradune, and assumed he stayed there with the Vitae and, mostly importantly, his sister. A recurring theme in the memories of the temple seemed to be her friends. Her true friends, who worked with her not for power or necessity like the Sith, but through compassion. That was something the Sith never truly had; friends. Yet now most of hers were gone. Taken from her by the darkness, and by her own blind actions.

She would find them in time, after she had found herself...

 

[Minna]

"I did not doubt you, more I feared the corruption the nexus may have put on you." This voice was not welcome, yet she could not give up her search because of it. The voice of a man she once loved, before he became the monster he is now. An old persona of [member="Darth Ferus"], here to test her resolve. Despite her feelings towards his voice, the memory was not an unpleasant one. Minna, Veino, Alex and 'Daichi', what Ferus was known as at the time, had gathered to build the light-side nexus on the temple roof. She could feel the aura as if it were still in existence, as the four of them worked together to help the nexus tree flourish. Daichi's irony when speaking of Minna being corrupted stuck in her mind, as if it were some deadly foreshadowing in a tragedy novel. Was she destined to fall to the darkness?

If that was so, then she was destined to return from it. She pressed on, hearing and feeling the memory continue. "Balanced, the temple is now." Her own voice speaking of balance, something she had tried to achieve. It had gone so well, yet in the end she fell to the wrong side of the scale. Mistakes were made, but people learned from them. She believed there was good in everyone, so many Sith had shown that. Herself, her master Taeli, the Vitae leader Vulpesen. If they could do it, then surely any Sith could. Even him. Her head could have shook physically, but really she was just ridding her mind of his presence. Although she had to dwell on the past, she wished the force would show her something else now, another memory...

Anything else...

 

[Minna]

"Come on Mommy!" A young voice called out to her, yet it wasn't one she recognized. Her heart nearly skipped a beat when she thought of who it could be though, only one person in the galaxy would call her mommy. So far there had been only sound in her memories, sound and darkness,but what she saw for the next few seconds was clear as daylight. A girl. pale of skin and with blue hair, beckoned her to follow. Ahead lay a lit corridor, but it's lights were beginning to turn off in turn, the darkness slowly approaching towards her. In the last few moments of light, [member="Asajj"] looked at her with an excited smile. Then, she was gone...
Her eyes finally opened, expecting to be greeted by daylight but instead welcomed the night of Alderaan. For a few seconds she merely sat there, unsure of what to make of her experience. The last one was no memory, it was some sort of vision. The force was trying to show her something. Could that have been her daughter? She was out there right now, being poisoned by the Sith. Was it too late?

No, it could never be too late. Not if she kept going. She would go through every single Sith if she had to just to find Asajj.
Assuming she was still called that... The mere thought of her being that far into the Sith made her shudder, but she held out hope that it was not the case. It was a test, if nothing, to see whether she deserved the power of the force she once had. Whether she deserved the title she had once held...

It was nothing more than a test...

Right?