Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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The Tylane

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Name: The Tylane
Designation: Sentiant
Homeworld: Tylane
Language: Tylane & Galactic Basic
Average Lifespan: 79.5 Years
Estimated Population: Planetary

Average height of adults: 1.92 meters
Average length of adults: N/A

Skin color:
  • White (Human)
  • Brown (Human)
  • Red
  • Pink
Hair color:
  • Brown
  • Black
  • Red
  • Silver
  • Violet
Distinctions:
  • No eyelids
  • No Bellybuttons
  • No need to urinate
  • Unnaturally long fingers
Breathes:
  • Oxygen
  • Hydrogen
  • Carbon Dioxide
Strengths:
  • Strength - The Tylane are much stronger than average humans due to continued selective breeding. As generations passed the stronger of the species bred to pass on the genes for natural strength.
  • Intelligence - The Tylane are much more Intelligent than many species. Again, this is due to selected breeding and making sure only the more intelligent members of the species survived to breed.
Weaknesses:
  • Sickness - The immune system of The Tylane is weak. They are prone to illness and as such spend much of their time cleaning to remove any and all bacteria as to not make themselves ill.
  • Speed - The leg bones of the Tylane are not properly developed, and there for they struggle moving at any speed that is quicker than a slow walk. They do struggle to walk at times as well.
Races: N/A

Diet:
  • Meats
  • Fish
  • Fruits
  • Vegetables
  • Milk (poisonous)
  • Water (poisonous in large quantaties)
Communication: Speech

Culture: Run by the Dictatorship Government, much of the Tylane culture is controlled. Anything they do is controlled and censored by the government. Any and all culture is censored and controlled. However, everything never used to be that simple. The government used to be run by a Democracy, a Chancellor running the planet. However, this all ended during the "War of the World" when the Dictators took over.

Many Tylane naturally work with each other as anything from builders to bankers to businessmen. They pledge to the government every morning and many are accepting of the government, especially with how they took charge. Most members of the Tylane have a love for food, the classic Bantha Steak had been adapted a number of times by the Tylane to give it something different.
Technology level: Mostly primative but the buildings in many of the cities are high tech and work with voice commands and holograms.

Many Tylane talk with their bodies. Many will gesture and wave instead of speaking. Many people have tried to guess why this is, however the closest people have come is figuring out why is that the Dictator armed forces used to communicate with their hands because it made sure their plans wouldn't be figured out. Many people got this drilled into them over the thirty three years of fighting and it is believed many passed this on to their children.

General behavior: Humanlike, that's the best way of putting it. They act like regular humans, the Commenori and the Correllians.

History: The Tylane were originally Commenori and Correllian, as well as other species. When all these species began interbreeding the original Tylane were born. These Tylane learned soon that the best way to survive was to pass on the strongest characterists, thus the strongest Tylane breeded to pass on their strength to later generations. This meant that they could become a stronger species then their predecessors.

The original Tylane also leared early on that the force users existed. This was found just after the original start to the Tylane. These force users began to be treated like gods. The original Tylane began building a temple to these gods whichh was carried on by later generations. This temple carried on into a city for these force users and the city became a place for the regular Tylane to offer gifts to these gods.

The final major to the Tylane happened during "The War of the World". The Democrats vs The Dictatorship where many of the Tylane learned to be good warriors and it was from the end of the war where warrior training became mandotary from the age of 13. The Tylane became good warriors because of this, many choose to join the army. They are all good warriors and choose to show support to the government.

The Gulag Plague was always going to be a problem for The Tylane. It ripped through numbers of President Dictators as well as regular Tylane. Many dropped like flies and the number of The Tylane nearly halved. Many Tylane died before the age of 30 and for four hundred years they dropped like flies. When the plague finally left the galaxy, the Tylane were broken. There had been a number of riots and President Dictator deaths and no-one knew what had to do. When the new President Dictator stepped up and started to control the Tylane things finally began to fall into place.

Notable Player-Characters: N/A

Intent: There are two reasons for this product. One of these is to populate the planet Tylane and the second is to create a species for a new character idea of mine.
 
[member="Jayden Sanders"]


So first question is how are they stronger than average human but have wonky legs? Seems to me it wouldn't work, like putting a gorilla on toothpick legs. Any reasoning or insight into this? A bit confused on how this works.
 
I'll try and get into this without getting all sciency.

The body is split into sections, each section controlled by a number of nerves and muscles. If the muscles in the arms are more developed than the average human then there is more strength there. However, the bones in the legs did not develop well, which means that the bottom half is weaker. Just because of this weaker bottom half, they can still have a stronger top half and therefore be on average much stronger than a regular human. Yes it may remind you of a gorilla on tooth picks but that is just a natural deformity many have to live with.

[member="Judah Dashiell"]
 
[member="Jayden Sanders"]


Alright. Now what about culture? I don't see much, especially if someone else is trying to PC this species.Any counter culture to the government? Uprisings, etc? Perhaps you have something in mind to expand this out a little, not really getting a feel for them.


Same for history. I see nothing of the Gulag Virus, which I would expect to see in a species with a weakened immune system.
 
I'm not convinced this race is cohesive in design. My major concern is you main weakness:

  • Speed - The leg bones of the Tylane are not properly developed, and there for they struggle moving at any speed that is quicker than a slow walk. They do struggle to walk at times as well.

This contradicts the race being strong due to being "warriors."

How does one go to war when it struggles to walk at times? This does not compute. I think we need to find a new major weakness for the race.


Also to note:

Corellians and Commenori are humans. Plain and simple. How did this race go from human stock to having these distinctions:

Distinctions:
  • No eyelids
  • No Bellybuttons
  • No need to urinate
  • Unnaturally long fingers
Breathes:
  • Oxygen
  • Hydrogen
  • Carbon Dioxide

I see no mention of these distinctions anywhere else in the sub. No explanation as to the origins or reasoning behind them. I'm going to need those things in there.

[member="Jayden Sanders"]
 
[member="Silencia"]

I understand completely where you are coming from.

What I'm actually going to request is that we move this to the archives where possible. My reasoning for this is that this was a rushed submission I failed to put thought into. I think I spent everything on the planet and nothing on the species and I hate myself for that. I wanna go back and re-write this entire species to be honest.

Thanks in advance,
Jayden
 
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