The Teta Incident (Leori Sheltrak)

[Saki]

VOSS

"Ahhhhhhh" Saki shouted as she kicked, there wasn't a fight this was just a training ground and she was facing a tree as her foot connected high up with a crack. She was.... she had requested council or help, something. She knew she wasn't right in compared to others but she had been fighting for the jedi since she was a padawan facing off against slavers on Kashyyyk, serving at Metalorn against a sith base with little backup and being expected to win. Then all the other battles that had followed as they beat back the empire and faced horrors on a galactic scale.

Her body relaxed a little with the muscles trembling underneath while she stood there and let out a deep breath. First once and then twice until her lungs burned from the gulps of air, muscles twitching before she sat down her foot stomping to bring up a small seat of earth. Since Empress Teta she had found earth shaping or at least her ability to alter the environment and move the earth was better. Strange really but she felt tingly all over. Enjoying the time and peace now as she sat there, she had contacted a jedi master. She needed to talk and there were none in the order that wanted to do it.

 

[Leori Sheltrak]

[member="Saki"]

Leori was a short distance away when she heard Saki's verbal release as she unleashed her frustrations on the innocent tree. The Jedi Master was not one to interrupt, but did project her sense of calm outward as she silently approached the troubled Jedi. When Saki sat down, Leori moved to sit in front of her with her legs crossed.

"Have you injured yourself?" Leori inquired quietly. She would first tend to physical injuries before moving on to treat matters of the mind.

"Let me first start by saying I offered to speak with you because I was not present for recent events. I don't want you to feel as though I am judging you. I have not biased my opinion and am unaware of recent events. With that being said, I would like for you to begin by telling me what you experienced and events as you recall them."

 

[Saki]

[member="Leori Sheltrak"]

Saki looked at Leori and her normal glare was there but softer like what a parent says will happen if you keep making faces as she held out her hands and looked at her legs. She was covered in tattoo's and scars with fresh bruises and scraps. "Ehhh I might be a little scuffed up." It was normal but she did allow it for herself to be healed and spoke letting out a shuddering breath. "Where to start? I am a kid and a jedi, hell I fought at Metalorn against a battalion of sith when I was thirteen and survived, sent into a dangerous fight by my master who used that moment and distraction to leave the jedi order. Then I fought the Harvesters and their biological terros, saw friends on Coruscant get bitten and become mindless monsters."

She kept a shudder coming from it all and thought about how best to continue. "I was there when all the poodoo with the councils and Republic nearly came to blows and watched the order nearly sever ties because of the distrust. I watched the ego's of our chancellor a former jedi master clash because she wanted peace by any means with the sith. Something we all knew was a mistake, something that would damn the outer rim worlds and it did. I saw the sith's genocide on Togoria and fought against the newly reborn Val'rysses armies of sithspawn, fought through Kaine's death camps and Krag's genocide of the Kahlee. I had a daughter to another jedi and left her with my parents on Hapes after a rough week in a foxhole on Valen. As sith artillery exploded around us."

Now it was coming easier, faster and free, she had done a great deal since Jor'si had taken her as his student and taught her vaapad. "I Fought for Selena against the sith forces and the Black Sun when she returned to unite the jedi order saving us from imploding. All that infighting amongst ourselves because nobody knows what a jedi is. One side says we fight for peace and the other takes ten seconds to condemn them but not offer anything more then "jedi should be jedi" They have received the same training as me. Combat techniques, military history, command experience, how to fight against others who wield a saber. There is somethign to be said for jedi who want to meditate I can understand that it is the ones who just treat everyone like poodoo to feel better about their own ego."

Oh there it was, the frustration, the annoyance and why she honestly wanted to talk. Her body tensing up. "It isn't right, it isn't the jedi way to pass judgement on each other. We honor one another, lift each other up and I have seen the council choose to judge and ignore people without looking them in the eyes. I have fought to protect them, fought to protect the people of the Republic and they just sat there with their noses in the air and will gladly enjoy that they are safe. They want to be the saints of the Republic the true paragons, well its easy for them to be when they pretend there is no suffering, no war in the galaxy. The Sith Empire proved how dangerous they could be to the galaxy but the One sith have been showing the fallicy of the core worlds."

She had heard this before and agreed with it, it wasn't that the core wasn't important but they ignored what was important. Pretending there was nothing that could touch them and the one sith gladly proved them wrong. Showed how foolish they had been while the New order was at their flank. "I'm sixteen years old, I was a master because I have gone through so much in this war and shown resolve few others had. I fought at Empress Teta and saw several dangers, I saw and felt my fellow jedi fall one who I knew as a solid member of the light. Others who I didn't know but I could feel them when the force entered me. Across the planet each life was in my senses and I was one with the force."

She spared a thought about that, she hadn't expected it she had just pushed herself going from battle to battle, from jedi to jedi to help. Getting Maya out of there, getting Hasjo help, helping Aedan, helping Rasu, joining and helping the padawan, fighting a sith dogpile, confronting a sith master and unlike others who were there not falling to the darkside. Her energies instead working to try and keep the fight going but in the end even she was still just human, that [member="Kiskla Grayson"] survived was a great thing but she wasn't able to help her against a sith dogpile anymore then she had been able to.


"I have seen the dangers of the darkside, I touch it everytime I fight, channel it into my body to become a sharpened weapon of the light. I avoid the others, I stay away from the other jedi unless I can help it, the jedi council treat the jedi like a high school group with only their cool kids coming in. The Grandmaster will gladly pass judgemen upon us without speaking, the divide between things was becoming more apparent as she saw jedi leaving. Though the ones who left the order saying the jedi couldn't be helped did come and help out or say they would." Now she was looking at Leori and breathing more evenly.

"There is so many things that have happened that I wish I could complain about and I don't see it as possible. After the ousting of Joshua and how he didn't even have a chance to try before they were calling for him to be gone. I find the new level of politics in the jedi becoming dangeroous, Kiskla might be popular but the circles have fallen into disuse, the councils that were rebuilt and formed dissolved, the high council does nothing but pass judgement and everyone flocks to the One Sith. Or they leave and form their own sect, we are the most divided and all we get is smiles saying we have a proper grandmaster."

That got a snort from her and she could compare grandmasters she had seen several. From Ben Watts who was wise but rarely there or willing to make a full decision. He pressed to go to Metalorn then called the retreat, to Je'gan who just purged the jedi and had infighting to the point Darron had to work to save them, Selena who brought them together to take the sith empire on and while condemned as a warmonger made sure the evils of the sith were obliterated for a time, Joshua who as soon as he was put in charge was voted out by the ones supporting Kiskla, Carn Dista who was to strict and restrictive she had chosen to stay in the outer rims.

Now Kiskla who was well liked but a wonderful image hid a rotten core as infighting, division within the ranks and general sour moods all around had more jedi sects forming. "There is one thing my mother told me before I left for the jedi and I hated her for it. Not the saying for sending me but it makes things clear at times. 'Even now there are jedi carrying savage weapons.' We need to be warriors and peaceful mediators but we are hunters of the darkside. We are ones who should seek to make sure its evils don't rise and harm people."

 

[Leori Sheltrak]

[member="Saki"]

It was easy enough for Leori to heal the flesh wounds with some encouragement to Saki's cells. And she listened to Saki as she began to release the emotion that desperately needed to be vented. The Jedi healer did not interupt her, but merely sat quietly listening with her eyes closed as she aided Saki's cells in healing their wounds.

It saddened her to hear of such hardships and difficulties beginning in childhood. And absolute tragedies. No child should have had to witness those things, even a young Jedi. The corruption and politics she too was disgusted by. That was why she was with the Silver Jedi now as a matter of fact. The discussion of what a Jedi was could spark a flame, or fan it as the case may be. There was no black and white definition.

To hear of so many Jedi falling from grace was disheartening. Finally, she blinked. Saki had been one with the Force? How was it possible that she was still there to tell the tale? Saki seemed to be getting agitated again, and so Leori resumed her projections of calming energies.

When Saki finished speaking, Leori spoke softly. "I understand many of your frustrations, as I have had similar experiences to the ones you describe. I am also sad that you have had to experience so much darkness at such a young age. I am not dismissing your feelings, or concerns, but I also cannot say anything to make it okay. All I can say in hopes that it will restore your faith, is that you are not alone. You are strong. You know who you are and no one can change you. I believe in you, Saki."

It was sad that there were no words of comfort to offer the troubled Jedi. She couldn't promise that things would get better. She couldn't say that the Order would change. She couldn't promise the end of corruption or judgment. But, she could offer encouragement, and faith. Hopefully, that would be enough.

 

[Saki]

[member="Leori Sheltrak"]

It wasn't the greatest but it helped. Feeling the energies and relaxing some as she just sat there. Her own body now losing much of its tension and coiled muscles. "It does, and getting things off my chest is good, all that pent up energy had me ready to break things. I have told my padawans they need to know when to hold it in but I don't think I ever told them how much I held on. At least I got taken in an able to talk with someone who is calming." She was actually surprised she had even revealed she had had a kid. She had with Maya but it was more to show her she understood a mothers love more then the woman knew but she had laced it with some venom on Empress Teta. Now she was just revealing it to unload all the burden from her chest. "Thank you, I know come battle again I'll be using everythign I got to fight again against the sith but at least now I know there can be a release somewhere with someone."

 

[Leori Sheltrak]

[member="Saki"]

Leori nodded. "I am a firm believer that there is a time and place for releasing frustrations and releasing the loads that our souls bear. But the battlefield is not that place. A safe and familiar place is needed. It helps to have someone to confide in, absolutely. As a healer, I am bound to keep our discussions private and to keep you in good health, physically and mentally. If you feel overwhelmed, tell me. I won't judge you, or pry. If you ask for my opinion or advice, I will gladly give it to you. But I am not one for lectures or unsolicited advice."

She offered Saki a smile. "You're more than welcome. Remember that. And remember that while you are a Jedi, you are still a being with thoughts and feelings. You are bound to feel conflicted on occasion, especially in times like these. That's okay, and is nothing to be ashamed of. You are strong, but you don't have to be every moment of every day."

 

[Saki]

[member="Leori Sheltrak"]

"A person." She was chuckling to that mostly cause she hadn't thought of herself as more then a protector wailing on the horrors of the sith in war for a long time. She just went from battle to battle or mission to mission fighting and had let herself feel the thrill of it. Vaapad needed that wanting to win and to create a loop of emotion it was what made it so dangerous but also so powerful. "Few other jedi have actually looked beyond the surface, oh she's 16, oh she's a loose cannon, I am what I was taught to be. A warrior who keeps the peace at the end of a weapon. I was trained and taught the same as the other jedi I just chose to acknowledge that I have a weapon in my hand instead of simply looking down at those who used theirs. That is what frustrates me so much I think, the council it... it fought. When you were on it the council fought at Dac, brought down the sith emperor. You weren't in the fight but the councilors engaged actively, now they look for every chance to tear the ones who fight apart to meet their ideal of an order that wins against the sith by... something. It isn't diplomacy and it isn't swords. I guess happy thoughts."

 

[Leori Sheltrak]

[member="Saki"]

Leori nodded, confirming her claim. "Perhaps it is because it is painful for many beings to have any sort of relationship with a Jedi. Those who have seen loss would rather not look below the surface for fear of losing others. We all have the same training, yes, but our teachers were different. And that makes a big difference on the Jedi that we become. Many things can determine why we are the way we are, but unfortunately we don't have the luxury of time either when it comes to getting to know someone. To really know them. So I say, don't worry about others opinions of you. You know who you are, and that's all that matters."

 

[Saki]

[member="Leori Sheltrak"]

Saki gave a nod to that, deep down they had all learned differently from others and she was looking at it from a different perspective. She had a smirk on her face now thought thinking about what she could do. "Well for good or ill at least I know this, my kid will live in peaceful times. Or at least she'll not be targetted as a jedi, Hapens are dangerous but she'll be safe there in the outer rim worlds."

 

[Leori Sheltrak]

[member="Saki"]

Leori nodded. "That is something to remember when you feel alone. You are fighting so that she can enjoy peace. Who better to fight for?" The Jedi Master knew the feeling. It was an all consuming thought when loved ones were involved. "I hope that my children will enjoy peace and the simpler things that life has to offer. I wouldn't wish this life for them."

She sighed. "That's if you have any fight left in you. It would be all too easy to just walk away and watch your daughter grow. And you wouldn't regret it for a second." She experienced a similar conflict within herself, and she didn't even have a child yet.

 

[Saki]

[member="Leori Sheltrak"]

Saki looked at herself more now. Did she have fight left in her? Yeah she did, compared to some who she put up with she was at least willing to make it work. She knew how to fight and going after the sith wasn't an option. Fighting for the order was all she would be able to do and keep doing despite the ones who went on about how jedi don't fight. Let the sith come and walk over their words while she moved and fought the fight against everyone else. "I have fight left in me, I am not going to stop, I can't stop. The sith will keep coming and as they march they will raze the worlds we all are on. They'll attack everything of the jedi and Republic, of the silver jedi as they go about trying to wipe us out. Their honeyed words converting those who will listen or killing the ones who don't."

 

[Leori Sheltrak]

Leori nodded in agreement with [member="Saki"]. “Right,” she confirmed. “And no one can change that but you. As long as you have fight in you, you will. When you’re done, it will be of your own will. The Sith and those that follow the dark path, will always come. It is the natural cycle of the galaxy and the Force. Conflict, then regrouping. Then the cycle repeats, endlessly. There can be no true peace. But it also why we are here. To bring balance to the Force, and keep the natural order.”

[member="Saki"]

 

[Saki]

[member="Leori Sheltrak"]

And hat was the big thing, balance was something that few could really attain. She had seen the scale tip easily as it were and she spoke. "Yeah balance, there is one other thing. On Teta I didn't tell anyone because I wouldn't know how. I went and fought so hard, so dangerously close that I found myself in the storm og all that emotion and it was calming. Then I was everywhere feeling the planet while wading through enemies and it felt like nothing was out of my reach in those moments. The force was moving me like an avelanche through it all."

 

[Leori Sheltrak]

[member="Saki"]

Leori raised an eyebrow. “That is quite the experience. I do hope that you recorded it in more detail for recollection later. It will be helpful to you to review it periodically when you are evaluating yourself.”

It was probably very difficult to articulate an experience such as that, so she couldn’t really speak from experience. She was however, in the habit of making logs for later review. It was one of her methods for cooling off, and looking with new eyes at a later time.

 

[Saki]

[member="Leori Sheltrak"]

"I did, I put it in my report. Not that it is going to get read, the other jedi are very quick to forget things when they have outsiders to their group think. I did however record it for a datacron with everythign I could remember for safety purposes and found records of other jedi and sith experiencing the same feelings. Usually under conditions where they were fighting for their lives or in one case inducing it through drugs." She had a smirk on her face now though and was happier, lighter. "So while it is nice to talk about me how have you been?"

 

[Leori Sheltrak]

[member="Saki"]

Leori nodded. She’d have to investigate those records as well. It was an interesting experience to study. The Jedi Master was surprised at Saki’s inquiry. While it was her nature and job to ask that very question of every person she encountered, it was rare that she answered with more than one word.

“Tired, mostly.” Tired of the fighting, bickering, drama, and so on. “But, I’ve managed some happiness, on a personal level.” She assumed, possibly wrongly, that most of the Jedi were aware of her marriage to Jack. “Which in itself is surprising for me.” Leori smiled a little, remembering why she didn’t talk about things often. She was a private person, and she was feeling vulnerable opening up.

 

[Saki]

[member="Leori Sheltrak"]

"Well that is a good thing. Personal is soemthing everyone should work on after all." Saki thought about it, she knew little of the masters, these ones who had appeared like Rianna and Leori and helped rebuild when they needed it and then moved on. Not a bad thing as by the time they left things were good and then falling apart. It was just something she could see and looking back was always easier. Perhaps they had handled the situation all wrong, reaching out and allowing bad things to happen but most knew how easily the winds could change. She planned on studying them to complete her shaping as it all went on later. She had heard though that Leori was one of the last to see Dragonsflame. "So how was Josh? I know he took the order turning on him or at least some of them hard."

 

[Leori Sheltrak]

[member="Saki"]

Leori was surprised that she would ask about Joshua, since she wasn’t the closest person to him. However, she had seen him since he’d been forcefully removed from his position. “I think he’s taking time to find himself again. I’m almost positive that he will not be returning to any Jedi organization, which is a shame, because he is an asset.”

She sighed. “That was the last straw for me. I left while it was still going. I couldn’t be among those that turn on each other so easily.”

 

[Saki]

[member="Leori Sheltrak"]

She had to agree it was what kept her away from Tython and away from the jedi at times, she had chosen to stay in the outer rim to defend and protect while Coruscant fell and when she had heard about Josh she was disgusted. The others they easily turned on were just as bad but those were the people who called him friend compared to a nameless padawan who messed up. She nodded in agreement. "It isn't a good sign, every time I returnt ot he jedi order from the outer rim it just seems to be more and more corrupt while the people give smiles on their faces. The Chancellor said it best that those who are on Coruscant and Tython want to pretend there is no war, no hunger and no problems in their little world and anything that upsets that or reminds them is to be gotten rid of."

 

[Leori Sheltrak]

[member="Saki"]

Leori nodded in agreement. “It is most unfortunate indeed. The galaxy is not at peace, and never will be, at least not for long. Ignoring the problems doesn’t make them go away. Solutions are needed. But, if there’s no acknowledgment of a problem, it makes it very difficult to seek a solution to it. I always felt that the Jedi were problem solvers, but I don’t believe that of the Jedi as a whole now.”

She sighed again. “Wouldn’t it be lovely to crawl into a fantasy world like that? Where everything is just peachy?” It was a rhetorical question, and a sarcastic one at that. “All we can do is bide our time while the storm comes in, and deal with the aftermath. There simply are not enough of us to fight a war on our own.”