Private The Promise

[Alana Calloway]

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The Promise​

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Location: Rakata Prime​

Tag: Serina Calis​

Gear: Jump-suit and helmet.​

​

Alana pushed open the heavy doors of the fortress, stepping inside without a word. Water dripped from her junpsuit, tracing cold lines down her face, but she made no move to shake off the rain. Her jumpsuit hung heavy on her shoulders, the weight of the storm still clinging to her as she strode forward.

The warmth of the palace was lacking, a stark contrast to the cold that had settled in her bones, it somehow was even colder here. Her boots left wet prints on the polished floor, the only sound in the grand hall aside from the distant hum of machinery and the patter of rain outside.

She didn't bother announcing herself. She figured Serina already knew she was here.

She just hoped she was willing to talk, wherever the woman was.

Alana paused to remove the jumpsuit, setting her helmet aside, before continuing in. The less mess she made the less angry Serina would be with her.

 

[Serina Calis]

Location: Rakata Prime
Tag: Alana Calloway ​

The moment Alana stepped past the threshold, Serina knew.

Not from the sound of boots against polished stone, not from the faint chill clinging to the air in her wake—but from the shift in the Force, the silent ripple that always came when Alana was near.

She had spent hours convincing herself she wouldn't wait for her. That she wouldn't care if Alana returned. That it didn'tmatter.

And yet—here she was.

Serina didn't rise immediately. Instead, she let the moment stretch, let the silence settle thick between them. She remained seated in the high-backed chair at the far end of the chamber, legs crossed, one hand resting lightly against her chin as she studied Alana through the dim glow of flickering candlelight.

She was soaked through, water still trailing from her skin like a specter of the storm outside. Her hair clung to her face, framing sharp crimson eyes that darted about the room—searching, hesitant.

Serina's lips parted, but no words came at first.

You left.

The thought pulsed, sharp and insistent, curling through her chest with an ache she refused to name.

Alana had left.

And now she was back.

Serina exhaled through her nose, slow, measured. Then—finally—she spoke.

"You look awful."

Her voice was smooth, quiet, but not unkind. She let her gaze sweep over Alana's form, taking in the way her shoulders hung heavier than usual, the tension in her jaw, the way she lingered near the entrance like she wasn't sure she belonged here.

Serina should have made her wait. Should have let her stand there, dripping onto the pristine floor, let the silence punish her for leaving in the first place.

But she didn't.

Instead, she rose, the faint rustle of fabric the only sound as she approached, slow, deliberate. She stopped just shy of Alana, close enough to feel the cold radiating off her skin, the scent of rain clinging to her like an unspoken apology.

She reached out, fingers brushing lightly against the damp strands of hair framing Alana's face, tucking them behind her ear with an almost absent touch.

"You came back." The words weren't a question.

And yet, in the silence that followed, Serina found herself waiting for an answer.

 

[Alana Calloway]

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The Promise​

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Location: Rakata Prime​

Tag: Serina Calis​

Gear: Jump-suit and helmet.​

​

She expected something more violent honestly. The black tank top she wore was a bit damp thanks to the rain, but she would survive. Alana just stood as Serina approached, trying to think of what all there was to say.

She was still a bit upset over the whole ordeal earlier, but, they should probably talk about it if nothing else.

“I drove through a rain storm….and then I got lost on the way back.” She started, her hands almost went for Serina’s as the woman touched her hair. But she stopped herself.

“Yea…I…did you think I was going to just….leave?” She asked, raising a snowy eyebrow at her. “I…was upset, but I needed to think….I figured if you needed me you’d just call.” She explained, letting out a breath.

“I guess…I got upset about…training and…messing with the force….then the reward thing….I felt like…you were degrading me, and I got upset.” She continued, keeping her crimson eyes on Serina, trying to make her points clear.

 

[Serina Calis]

Location: Rakata Prime
Tag: Alana Calloway ​

Serina's lips pressed into a thin line, her gaze unwavering as Alana spoke. The rain had cooled her skin, but there was a simmering heat beneath her words, a restrained frustration laced with something quieter—something fragile.

She didn't speak immediately. Instead, she studied Alana's expression, the way her hands hovered near Serina's touch but never quite reached for it. The way her crimson eyes searched hers, looking for an answer. For understanding.

And, Force help her, Serina wanted to give it to her.

But she couldn't lie.

She exhaled slowly, fingers grazing along Alana's damp cheek before pulling away. "Did I think you were going to leave?" A bitter smile flickered across her lips. "Every time I have given you control, every single time I have loosened my grip, you've either run or gotten yourself hurt." Her voice remained soft, but there was an edge beneath it. A quiet accusation wrapped in something closer to concern than anger. "So yes, I thought you were gone."

Serina turned slightly, pacing a slow, measured step back. Her hands flexed at her sides, as if resisting the urge to reach for Alana again. "I don't deny the past. I don't deny what I did, what I tried to do. I saw something in you—something I wanted to shape, to protect—and I made mistakes. But don't act like I did it for nothing."

She turned back to Alana, her voice low, steady. "I changed, didn't I?" Her jaw tightened. "I stopped trying to control you, and the moment I did, you left. And now you tell me you needed to think?" A sharp exhale, not quite a laugh. "Think about what, exactly? That you don't trust me? That I disgust you?"

She took another step closer, her presence looming but not oppressive. "I didn't mean to degrade you. I was… trying to do what I thought would make you happy for once." The word felt foreign on her tongue, but it was true. Serina had raced with her, played her little game, given her space, and what had it earned her?

Distance. Again.

Serina shook her head. "If you want control—if you want to do things your way—fine. But it doesn't get to come at my expense." Her voice softened slightly, but her gaze held firm. "I want you here, Alana. I chose you. But I will not be something you discard when it's convenient."

Her hands curled into fists at her sides, frustration bleeding into something closer to hurt. "So tell me—what do you want? Because I'm tired of guessing."

 

[Alana Calloway]

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The Promise​

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Location: Rakata Prime​

Tag: Serina Calis​

Gear: Jump-suit and helmet.​

​

Alana swallowed hard, her breath hitching as Serina's words settled deep in her chest, heavy and unrelenting. She knew this would happen—she knew leaving would hurt Serina. It always did. And yet, she kept making the same mistake, kept running when things got too loud, too tangled, too much.

Her fingers curled, damp gloves creaking under the pressure as she forced herself to look at Serina, really look at her. At the restraint in her expression, the hurt laced through her words, the quiet demand for something real.

"I know," Alana said, voice quieter than she wanted it to be. "I know I keep running, and I know it probably feels like I'm just… waiting for an excuse to leave. But I'm not." She exhaled sharply, shaking her head. "If that were true, I wouldn't keep coming back."

She hesitated, her weight shifting between uncertainty and the pull of something she couldn't name. "It's not you. It's not about trust, or disgust, or—" She broke off, jaw clenching as she struggled to get the words out. "I just… I get scared, Serina. And when I get scared, I need space to breathe, to think, to remind myself that I chose this. That I'm not trapped. That it's not just my past pulling me from one chain to the next."

Her hands lifted, hesitating before pressing lightly against Serina's arms. A touch that felt both too much and not enough. "I don't leave because I want to. I leave because if I don't, the voices get too loud, and I can't think straight. And when that happens, I start doubting everything—this. And I don't want to doubt this. I don't want to doubt you…sometimes I even doubt my own name…"

Alana sucked in a shaky breath, her grip tightening. "I don't know what I want half the time. But I know that I want you around. That I choose you, every time." She let out a bitter laugh, barely more than an exhale. "I'm just… bad at showing it."

Her crimson eyes searched Serina's, uncertain, pleading. "I'm sorry…”

 

[Serina Calis]

Location: Rakata Prime
Tag: Alana Calloway ​

Serina held her breath, forcing herself to listen. Really listen.

Alana's voice, raw and unguarded, cut through every instinct telling her to retreat behind her usual walls, to armor herself in control and command like she always had. She had been ready for deflection, for another excuse, for a half-hearted promise that Alana would do better next time.

But this?

This was different.

Serina felt Alana's touch—a light, tentative press against her arms—and she didn't move away. Didn't pull back like she normally would when she was feeling too much. Instead, she let it ground her. Let herself believe the words Alana was saying, even as doubt still whispered in the back of her mind.

Her jaw clenched, but not in anger. In restraint.

She exhaled slowly, closing her eyes for half a second before looking back at Alana, her gaze intense but not cruel. "I know you don't mean to hurt me," she said, voice quieter than usual. Steady. Measured. Too careful. "I know you're not running from me—not really."

Her fingers flexed at her sides, resisting the urge to grab, to hold on, to keep Alana from slipping through her grasp like she always did. "But every time I let go, every time I try to give you space, it always ends the same way." She shook her head, something sharp, bitter lacing her words. "You get hurt. You get lost. You start doubting yourself, doubting us. And I have to pick up the pieces."

She took a step closer, not looming, but not letting Alana run from this either. "That's why I want control. Because when I have it? Things work." Her voice tightened, and she forced herself to keep it even. "You were at your best when you listened to me, when you let me guide you. You thrived in my hands. But when I let go—when I try to give you space—"

A sharp exhale.

"You leave. Or you spiral. Or you get hurt."

Her hands lifted, slow and deliberate, sliding up Alana's arms, holding onto her like she was afraid she might disappear again. "I don't want to control you because I enjoy it. I don't want to control you because I think you're weak." Her grip tightened, just slightly, her voice dropping to something softer, something dangerous in its honesty. "I want control because when I have it, I know you're safe."

Her breath was steady, her words absolute. "Because when I let go, I lose you."

A beat. A silence heavy with everything unsaid.

Serina swallowed hard, something unreadable flickering in her expression. "And I don't want to lose you, Alana."

She didn't know if this time would be different. Didn't know if Alana could change. But Force help her, she wanted to believe it.

She had to believe it.

Because she didn't know what she would do if she lost her again.

 

[Alana Calloway]

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The Promise​

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Location: Rakata Prime​

Tag: Serina Calis​

Gear: Jump-suit and helmet.​

​

Alana let Serina's words settle, feeling the weight of them, the raw, aching need behind every syllable. She didn't pull away, didn't recoil, even as something deep inside her whispered to run—to retreat before she let herself believe too much.

Instead, she exhaled slowly, steadying herself. "Serina…" Her voice was softer this time, carrying none of the sharp edges it usually did. Just understanding. Just knowing.

Her hands lifted, covering Serina's where they gripped her arms, not pushing away, not pulling closer. Just there. A silent promise that she wasn't disappearing, not this time.

"I know why you do this," Alana murmured. "I know why you need to hold on so tight. And I know you think it's the only way to keep me safe." She swallowed, her throat tight, searching Serina's face, seeing the cracks beneath the control, the fear behind the certainty. Because when I let go, I lose you.

Alana's chest ached at the admission, at the raw vulnerability Serina rarely allowed herself. She had been ready for a fight—for an argument, for demands, for the same push and pull that always left them both bleeding. But this?

This was different.

"I'm not trying to make this harder," she admitted, her fingers brushing against Serina's in something almost like reassurance. "And I don't want to make you doubt me. I just… I need to figure out how to stand on my own. Not because I don't trust you. Not because I don't need you." Her breath hitched slightly, her next words quieter. "But because I need to trust myself, too."

Her grip tightened, just slightly, as if grounding them both. "I don't want to keep leaving. I don't want to keep hurting you. And I know I have." The guilt in her voice was real, unguarded. "But if holding on means suffocating each other… we'll both end up lost."

Alana searched Serina's gaze, willing her to understand. "You don't have to let go of me. Just… let me breathe." A pause, a careful offering. "Can you do that?"

 

[Serina Calis]

Location: Rakata Prime
Tag: Alana Calloway ​

Serina stared at Alana—really stared at her.

For the first time in a long time, she felt something break inside of her, something fraying at the seams, something she had stitched together so carefully, so methodically, so tightly that she never thought it could come undone. But here, now, with Alana standing in front of her, asking her for something that Serina wasn't sure she was capable of giving—

She knew what she had to do.

And Force help her, she hated it.

Her grip on Alana's arms loosened, fingers twitching like they wanted to hold on, to dig in, to keep her there—but she forced herself to let go. Not because she wanted to. Not because she thought Alana was right.

But because she could feel the darkness curling at the edges of her control.

Because if she didn't let go now, she might never let go again.

A breath, sharp and uneven, forced its way through her lungs, but it didn't feel like enough. Her chest ached. Not from anger. Not from frustration. From something far, far worse.

She took a step back, her boots echoing on the polished stone floor.

"Leave," she whispered.

Alana's expression shifted, her mouth opening to protest, but Serina cut her off before she could say a word.

"Go, now, before I do something we both regret."

Her voice wasn't cold. It wasn't laced with venom or rage. It was shaking.

Serina turned away, pressing a trembling hand against her temple, fingers digging in as if she could physically hold herself together. "You don't understand," she said, her voice strained, hoarse. "You can't understand."

Memories clawed at the edges of her mind.

Every moment where she had not been in control. Every moment where she had allowed herself to trust someone, to let them choose, to believe that things could be different. And every single time, it had ended the same way.

Pain.

Loss.

Regret.

She saw Kaila Irons , the vivid memories of the past, her true name, Solus.

She saw Quinn Varanin .

And she saw how that fire had been snuffed. Susefvi.

By her own hands.

She hadn't meant to.

She had loved her.

But love without control was dangerous.

Love without control destroyed.

Her breath came faster, shallower, as she turned back to Alana. "You think I do this because I enjoy it?" she demanded, her voice cracking. "You think I hold on because I like the power?" A bitter, broken laugh escaped her lips. "Every time I let go, Alana, people die. People leave. People I love get hurt—because of me."

Her blue eyes—eyes that had once burned so brightly, so fiercely, now shimmered with something raw, something fragile, something she didn't want to feel. "I have hurt so many people because I let them make their own choices, because I let them believe they had a say, that they could walk away and things would still be okay." Her jaw clenched, the mask of control fracturing at the edges. "None of it was okay."

Her breathing was ragged now, uneven, but she had to finish. Had to make Alana understand.

"If I just had control, none of it would've happened." She took another step back, running a shaking hand through her dark hair. "If I had been stronger, if I had been willing to break them before they broke me—maybe I wouldn't be standing here, feeling like I'm about to lose you the same way I lost everyone else."

Her eyes flickered, desperate and conflicted and lost.

"And I can't do that again, Alana. I won't."

Silence hung between them, thick and suffocating.

Then—her expression hardened.

Her next words came slow, deliberate, final.

"If you don't leave now," she whispered, "I will break you completely. I will take everything that you are and make you mine, so thoroughly that you will never question yourself again. So that you will never leave me again." A pause, her voice trembling. "And I don't want to do that to you."

It was a confession.

It was a plea.

It was the truth.

She had always believed control was the answer. That if she was the one pulling the strings, she would never lose anyone again. And for so long, that belief had been all that kept her from crumbling under the weight of her own failures.

But this?

Alana?

Serina wasn't sure anymore.

And that terrified her more than anything else.

So she clenched her fists at her sides, nails biting into her palms, and forced herself to take the final step back.

"Go."

A breath. A hesitation.

And then, softer—softer than she had ever spoken to Alana before.

"Please."

 

[Alana Calloway]

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The Promise​

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Location: Rakata Prime​

Tag: Serina Calis​

Gear: Jump-suit and helmet.​

​

Alana's breath was slow, steady—forced. If she let herself feel too much right now, she wasn't sure she'd be able to keep standing.

Serina was pushing her away, just like everyone else had. Just like they all did, in the end.

And Force, part of her wanted to run.

She could hear the fear in Serina's voice, the way it cracked under the weight of something deeper, something that had been there long before Alana ever stepped into her life. The same fear that curled like a sickness in Alana's own chest, coiling tighter with every step back Serina took.

Her body screamed at her to move, to turn, to leave before she had to hear another person tell her they didn't want her.

But Serina hadn't said that.

She had begged her to leave, but not because she didn't care.

Because she did.

And Alana—Alana wasn't sure she could take losing someone else. Not now. Not her.

Her fingers curled into fists, nails biting into her palms. If she let go now, if she walked away, what would be left? Where would she go?

There was no one else.

There was nothing else.

Serina was breathing hard, her whole body shaking, her face turned away as if looking at Alana would make this worse.

It hurt.

It hurt to see her like this. To know that Serina thought the only way to keep her close was to break her. That she thought if she just held on tighter, if she took away every choice, she wouldn't have to watch someone leave again.

Alana knew that pain. She knew it too well.

Because that was her.

Or….at least she thought it was?

Regardless, she wasn't going to let Serina drown in it alone.

So she did the only thing she could.

She stayed.

Her voice was barely above a whisper. "I don't want to go."

Serina flinched.

Alana took a slow, careful step forward. "I don't care how scared you are. I don't care how much you try to push me away. I need you to understand something."

Another step.

"You are not the only one who's afraid of losing someone."

Serina's breath hitched, but she didn't move.

Alana swallowed, her throat tight. "I don't want to be alone again.”

The words burned on the way out, raw and real in a way she hadn't let herself admit in years.

"If you tell me to go, I will. But I won't stop caring, and I won't stop coming back." Her voice wavered, but she held firm. "Because I’ve been the one that’s left behind….."

Silence stretched between them, thick, suffocating.

Then—slowly, carefully—Alana reached out.

Not to take. Not to control.

Just to hold.

Just to stay.

 

[Serina Calis]

Location: Rakata Prime
Tag: Alana Calloway ​

Serina's breath was shallow, uneven, as if each inhale was a battle, each exhale a surrender. She had thought—hoped—that pushing Alana away would be easy. That if she made it clear enough, sharp enough, cruel enough, Alana would leave. Would run. Would hate her.

But she wasn't running.

She wasn't leaving.

And that—that was the most dangerous thing of all.

Serina's fists clenched at her sides, nails biting into her palms as she struggled against something she didn't have the words for. The Dark Side pulsed through her, coiling in her veins, whispering its truth as it always had.

And its truth was absolute.

She had spent so long trying to be more than what she was. Trying to shape herself into something controlled, something refined. But the truth? The truth was something ugly. Something inescapable.

She lifted her gaze, finally meeting Alana's eyes.

And then, in a voice that trembled at the edges, in a voice that barely sounded like her own, she spoke the truth she had never dared say aloud.

"I don't have a choice, Alana."

The words felt like glass against her tongue, but she forced them out anyway.

"I am not like you. I was never like you. I don't wake up and wonder who I want to be, or what path I want to take." Her voice grew tighter, harsher, not out of anger, but something closer to desperation. "I don't get to choose."

Her fingers curled, and for the briefest moment, the room seemed to darken. "The Dark Side is me. It breathes with me, moves with me, thinks with me. I don't wield it—I am it. And it has never let me be anything else."

Her throat tightened, but she kept going. "Do you know what that means? Really means?" Her blue eyes burned, not with rage, not with cruelty, but with something infinitely sadder. "It means I was never going to help you. Not in the way you want. It means I was never going to stop trying to break you, to mold you, to take you. Because that's what I do, Alana."

She let out a shuddering breath, tilting her head slightly, something hollow pulling at the edges of her smirk. "That's what I am."

Her voice dropped, barely above a whisper now. "And you? You don't even realize how close you are to letting me."

Serina stepped forward, slow, deliberate, closing the space between them in a way that felt inevitable. Her hands lifted—not rough, not forceful—but firm, cradling Alana's face like she was something fragile. Something precious. And that was the worst part of all.

Because she was.

Serina's thumbs brushed lightly over Alana's cheeks, her touch featherlight but unshakable. "If you stay," she murmured, her voice like silk unraveling, "I will take everything from you. Not all at once. Not with force. You will give it to me. Piece by piece. Until there is nothing left that I do not own."

She swallowed, feeling the weight of her own words crash down on her. "And you will love it. You will thank me for it."

A bitter, broken chuckle left her lips. "That's what terrifies you, isn't it? Not that I'll hurt you. Not that I'll make you suffer." Her hands tightened, just slightly, just enough to feel the way Alana trembled beneath her touch. "But that you won't want to stop me."

The truth stood between them now, vast and terrible.

Serina took a slow, shaky breath. She had to end this. Had to make Alana understand. "That is why you need to go. Not because I don't want you. Because I do. Too much. Because if you stay, I will ruin you, Alana."

She leaned in then, just enough that their foreheads nearly touched. Just enough that Alana could feel how unsteady she was, how frightened she was—because Serina was losing. Not in battle. Not in war. But in this. Against her.

And losing meant destruction.

"You will never be free again," she whispered, and her voice broke.

She didn't want to say it. She didn't want to let it be true. But it was.

Alana wasn't running.

So Serina had to be the one to let go.

With a slow, agonizing movement, she pulled back. Her hands slipped away, the warmth of her touch vanishing as she stepped away from Alana—away from everything she had wanted, craved, needed.

Her expression was unreadable now, blue eyes dark and tired.

"Go," she said one last time.

But this time, there was no plea.

Just finality.

Just the sound of her heart breaking.

 

[Alana Calloway]

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The Promise​

​

Location: Rakata Prime​

Tag: Serina Calis​

Gear: Jump-suit and helmet.​

​

Alana stood frozen in the doorway, Serina's words cutting through her like a blade. Each syllable felt like a shard of glass being driven deeper into her chest. It wasn't just the truth of what Serina was saying, but the weight of how she said it—her voice trembling with something that Alana couldn't quite understand, but felt deep in her gut. Desperation. Fear. And it was all because of her.

She felt like the air had been knocked out of her, like every breath was a struggle, each one more labored than the last. Her mind was in chaos, a swirl of guilt and confusion and self-loathing. This was my fault. The realization crashed over her in waves, and each wave felt more suffocating than the last.

I am the one who hurt her.

She had been so sure, so certain. She had thought that fighting, pushing, trying to save Serina—forcing her to see the light, forcing her to change—was the right thing to do. But now, hearing Serina's voice, trembling with raw emotion, Alana realized just how wrong she had been. She had scared her. She had frightened Serina into a corner, made her feel trapped in a way that only pushed her deeper into the dark. She hadn't tried to save Serina; she had tried to control her.

She closed her eyes tightly, her hands trembling at her sides as her thoughts spiraled downward. Serina was right. I'm not helping her. I'm hurting her. The truth of it stung like salt in an open wound.

Serina's words replayed in her mind. "If you stay, I will take everything from you." It wasn't a threat, it was a warning. A warning I forced her to give me. Alana's heart twisted in her chest as she replayed every moment of their time together—the times she had pushed too hard, tried to drag Serina away from her own darkness, when she should have just been there, should have just listened.

But instead, she had forced herself on Serina, always pushing, always trying to make her better, make her what she wanted her to be, rather than just accepting her for who she was. She had been blind, thinking she could mold Serina into someone else, into someone she could fix.

She hadn't understood. She hadn't seen how terrified Serina must have been—how helpless she must have felt, trapped between the love Alana gave her and the pull of the Dark Side.

And now it was all falling apart.

The silence between them stretched on, and all Alana could hear was the pounding of her own heart. Every word Serina had said felt like a knife, twisting deeper and deeper as the weight of her own failure sank in. I'm the one who hurt her. I'm the one who made her feel this way.

Alana's breath caught in her throat as she stepped forward, almost instinctively, as if to reach out, to apologize, to do anything to take back all the pain she had caused. But as she moved, Serina stepped back, her eyes wide with a fear that ripped through Alana's soul.

It wasn't the fear of the fight. It wasn't the fear of what Serina had done to herself. It was the fear of Alana. Of the way she had pushed, of the way she had tried to pull Serina away from who she was. Serina was afraid of her. She was afraid of me.

Alana's chest tightened as she realized the horrible truth. I'm not her friend here...I'm the monster.

She had scared Serina into believing she wasn't good enough, that she couldn't be herself, that she had to change to fit into the mold Alana had made for her. She hadn't given Serina the space to breathe, to be free. All Alana had done was push and force and demand, never realizing that trust didn't work that way. Real trust—the kind that Serina needed—wasn't about control, about fixing, about turning someone into what you wanted them to be. It was about acceptance, about standing by their side, even when they weren't what you hoped they would be.

The realization crashed over her in a wave of nausea. She had scared her. She was scared of me.

Serina's face, her beautiful, tired face, twisted with sadness and fear. And all Alana could do was stand there, paralyzed by the weight of her own guilt. She had ruined it. She had ruined them.

"I'm sorry," She whispered, the words barely leaving her lips. But they felt hollow, too little, too late.

Serina's eyes flickered with something—something pained—before she turned away, the finality of her retreat searing through Alana's chest.

And in that moment, Alana knew that she had lost her. That Serina was right. She needed to leave. Because if Alana stayed, she would only hurt her more.

Maybe that’s who she was, at her core.

Maybe, Alana was the monster.

Maybe she just, should remain gone.

Alana would leave. Her gear, her equipment, all left behind as she would just continue on, despondent.

At least now, she finally knew who she was.