Akela Ru
Most Adorable Ball of Adorable
It had been a long time coming, she had first had to secure the votes of different senators involved, the stuffed loth wolves, the mynock clans, the wampa dancers.... but it was done. The senate was assembled all in the chambers of the jedi temple... a thousand pillows liberated from each of the rooms, countless robes and sheets, the senate guarrds were gonk droids with taped on sticks for their pikes and she the supreme chancellor was in the center of the room looking at all of them. her fellow padawans had declared her mad... mad for trying it.. they had said she couldn't manage to get the votes needed or secure the support but she would prove them wrong as stepping back her hands came up and she spoke. "People of the great pillow fort senate, I the supreme chancellor of snacktime, liberator of the great cookie raid. We have been gathered despite reports of unrest, or those who would threaten our great public of sugary confectionery admirers.
Senate Decree of Snacktime Supremacy
By the Order of Akela Ru, Grandmaster of Fun, Tiny Overlord of Clan Ski, and Supreme Snack Queen
Presented to the Galactic Senate of The Jedi Temple in the Ninth Month of the 902th Year After the Battle of Yippies
---
Preamble
WHEREAS, the galaxy is plagued by boring bedtimes, uptight vibes, and a severe lack of sparkly chaos;
WHEREAS, snacks are the cornerstone of joy, creativity, and resistance to Sith-level grumpiness;
WHEREAS, pants are important but not that important;
BE IT RESOLVED, by the authority of the Snack Council (self-appointed), with glittery blessings from the Force, that the following decree shall bring order to chaos and cookies to all.
---
Decree
Article I: Establishment of Snacktime Supremacy
1.Official Reordering of Galactic Time
Snacktime is hereby declared the supreme temporal priority, to occur immediately before sleeptime but directly after pants time. This ensures maximum cookie consumption while maintaining appropriate attire for galactic shenanigans.
Rationale: Pants time ensures dignity; snacktime ensures happiness; sleeptime is for people who hate fun.
2. Mandatory Snacktime Implementation**
All Jedi, younglings, Padawans, and even grumpy Masters (looking at you, Master Vanagor) shall partake in a minimum of one (1) snack per cycle, consisting of:
Cookies (chocolate chip preferred, but gummy worm-infused variants acceptable).
Blue milk (for dunking purposes).
Biodegradable glitter sprinkles (because the Force sparkles).
3. No Dessert Left Behind Policy
No cookie, gummy worm, or juice box shall be abandoned. Any snack left uneaten will be considered a war crime against fun, punishable by a kazoo serenade of "The Itsy Bitsy Sith Lord."
---
Article II: Flexible Snacktime Expansion
1. Subsection A: Additional Snacktimes
The Snack Council reserves the right to declare Additional Snacktimes as deemed necessary by the following criteria:
Urgency of Fun: If a Jedi meeting exceeds 10 minutes without laughter.
Glitter Deficiency: If any room lacks sufficient sparkle.
Emergency Cookie Heist: If Darth Baras or similar grumpy entities hoard snacks.
2. Subsection B: Snack-Based Diplomacy
Additional snacktimes may be used to negotiate peace with Mandalorians, Sith, or cafeteria droids. Examples include:
Offering gummy worms to secure a ceasefire.
Bribing with glitter-dusted cupcakes to form alliances.
Declaring "Eternal Tea Time" to pacify Master Noble.
---
Article III: Enforcement and Prank Defenses
1. Enforcement by the Snack Queen
Akela Ru, or her designated holographic gatekeeper from the Chaos Codex, shall oversee compliance. Non-compliance will result in:
A cloud of biodegradable glitter (sticks for days).
A Nap-Time Nullifier kazoo blast during meditation.
Mandatory participation in the Test of Courage (eating super-spicy noodles).
2. Prank-Based Accountability
To ensure adherence, the following booby traps are authorized:
Stuffed animal sentries guarding snack stashes.
Training remotes reprogrammed for "Tactical Sparkle Storm."
Googly eyes applied to any adult who says "bedtime" unironically.
---
Article IV: Philosophical Underpinnings
1. The Jedi Code of Fun
This decree aligns with Akela Ru's Jedi Code of Fun:
No Uptight Vibes.
Snacks are mandatory.
Laughter defeats Sith Lords faster than lightsabers.
2. Historical Precedent
This decree draws inspiration from:
The Great Cookie Conspiracy (42 cookies liberated).
The Pillow Fort Uprising (no-naptime zone established).
The Glitter Wars (Master Harrison still sparkles).
The Sith Academy Infiltration (Darth Baras' chocolate rancor statue heist).
---
Article V: Final Edict
1. Coronation of Snacktime
Snacktime is hereby crowned the sparkliest time of the galactic day, outranking meetings, training, and especially naptime.
2. Call to Action
All Jedi, younglings, and allies of chaos are summoned to uphold this decree by:
Hiding cookies in strategic locations (e.g., Master Xantha's sauna).
Declaring pillow forts as official snacktime sanctuaries.
Spreading glitter and joy to the Unknown Regions and beyond.
---
Signed and Glittered,
Akela Ru, Supreme Snack Queen
Witnessed by High Lord Fluffy (posthumously avenged plushie)
Sealed with a Gummy Worm and a Kazoo Blast
She stood there and looked at them, the silence as they read the bill was deafening... the smarticles of what she had proposed, the ease of it.. the masterful thingy where she managed to mirror the great senators of the past and chancellors.. like that blue woman or the short one... there was also the really pale lady.... she was there in the echelons of them all. "I know people, fellow senators, these proposals have left your speechless... in shock how could this madwoman propose such a radical bill... how could she think to get it cleared and passed... well I say with grit, gumption and bribes of high sugar as we launch crusades against the veggie gardens. We will burn them to the ground and salt the soil to never allow such things to defile our temples again.
Senate Decree of Snacktime Supremacy
By the Order of Akela Ru, Grandmaster of Fun, Tiny Overlord of Clan Ski, and Supreme Snack Queen
Presented to the Galactic Senate of The Jedi Temple in the Ninth Month of the 902th Year After the Battle of Yippies
---
Preamble
WHEREAS, the galaxy is plagued by boring bedtimes, uptight vibes, and a severe lack of sparkly chaos;
WHEREAS, snacks are the cornerstone of joy, creativity, and resistance to Sith-level grumpiness;
WHEREAS, pants are important but not that important;
BE IT RESOLVED, by the authority of the Snack Council (self-appointed), with glittery blessings from the Force, that the following decree shall bring order to chaos and cookies to all.
---
Decree
Article I: Establishment of Snacktime Supremacy
1.Official Reordering of Galactic Time
Snacktime is hereby declared the supreme temporal priority, to occur immediately before sleeptime but directly after pants time. This ensures maximum cookie consumption while maintaining appropriate attire for galactic shenanigans.
Rationale: Pants time ensures dignity; snacktime ensures happiness; sleeptime is for people who hate fun.
2. Mandatory Snacktime Implementation**
All Jedi, younglings, Padawans, and even grumpy Masters (looking at you, Master Vanagor) shall partake in a minimum of one (1) snack per cycle, consisting of:
Cookies (chocolate chip preferred, but gummy worm-infused variants acceptable).
Blue milk (for dunking purposes).
Biodegradable glitter sprinkles (because the Force sparkles).
3. No Dessert Left Behind Policy
No cookie, gummy worm, or juice box shall be abandoned. Any snack left uneaten will be considered a war crime against fun, punishable by a kazoo serenade of "The Itsy Bitsy Sith Lord."
---
Article II: Flexible Snacktime Expansion
1. Subsection A: Additional Snacktimes
The Snack Council reserves the right to declare Additional Snacktimes as deemed necessary by the following criteria:
Urgency of Fun: If a Jedi meeting exceeds 10 minutes without laughter.
Glitter Deficiency: If any room lacks sufficient sparkle.
Emergency Cookie Heist: If Darth Baras or similar grumpy entities hoard snacks.
2. Subsection B: Snack-Based Diplomacy
Additional snacktimes may be used to negotiate peace with Mandalorians, Sith, or cafeteria droids. Examples include:
Offering gummy worms to secure a ceasefire.
Bribing with glitter-dusted cupcakes to form alliances.
Declaring "Eternal Tea Time" to pacify Master Noble.
---
Article III: Enforcement and Prank Defenses
1. Enforcement by the Snack Queen
Akela Ru, or her designated holographic gatekeeper from the Chaos Codex, shall oversee compliance. Non-compliance will result in:
A cloud of biodegradable glitter (sticks for days).
A Nap-Time Nullifier kazoo blast during meditation.
Mandatory participation in the Test of Courage (eating super-spicy noodles).
2. Prank-Based Accountability
To ensure adherence, the following booby traps are authorized:
Stuffed animal sentries guarding snack stashes.
Training remotes reprogrammed for "Tactical Sparkle Storm."
Googly eyes applied to any adult who says "bedtime" unironically.
---
Article IV: Philosophical Underpinnings
1. The Jedi Code of Fun
This decree aligns with Akela Ru's Jedi Code of Fun:
No Uptight Vibes.
Snacks are mandatory.
Laughter defeats Sith Lords faster than lightsabers.
2. Historical Precedent
This decree draws inspiration from:
The Great Cookie Conspiracy (42 cookies liberated).
The Pillow Fort Uprising (no-naptime zone established).
The Glitter Wars (Master Harrison still sparkles).
The Sith Academy Infiltration (Darth Baras' chocolate rancor statue heist).
---
Article V: Final Edict
1. Coronation of Snacktime
Snacktime is hereby crowned the sparkliest time of the galactic day, outranking meetings, training, and especially naptime.
2. Call to Action
All Jedi, younglings, and allies of chaos are summoned to uphold this decree by:
Hiding cookies in strategic locations (e.g., Master Xantha's sauna).
Declaring pillow forts as official snacktime sanctuaries.
Spreading glitter and joy to the Unknown Regions and beyond.
---
Signed and Glittered,
Akela Ru, Supreme Snack Queen
Witnessed by High Lord Fluffy (posthumously avenged plushie)
Sealed with a Gummy Worm and a Kazoo Blast
She stood there and looked at them, the silence as they read the bill was deafening... the smarticles of what she had proposed, the ease of it.. the masterful thingy where she managed to mirror the great senators of the past and chancellors.. like that blue woman or the short one... there was also the really pale lady.... she was there in the echelons of them all. "I know people, fellow senators, these proposals have left your speechless... in shock how could this madwoman propose such a radical bill... how could she think to get it cleared and passed... well I say with grit, gumption and bribes of high sugar as we launch crusades against the veggie gardens. We will burn them to the ground and salt the soil to never allow such things to defile our temples again.