The Pieces Fall Where They May

[Jarven Zexxel]

Jarven stood in front of the sink in an apartment they were using temporarily. He stank of the blood of other men even though he had shed those clothes and tossed them in the laundry. Now, he wore only his white undershirt (which also had blood stains from today's work) and sweaty boxers. His weapons needed to be cleaned before he could take the time needed for a luxurious shower. [member="Miss Blonde"] was currently taking a shower and he certainly would have loved making the shower more efficient and luxurious by sharing.

However, someone needed to clean their gear before it got ruined and this particular run had left his wife more stressed than usual. As such, he had offered to do this. He had been a little grumpy on the inside for taking on more responsibility, but, as he settled into a casual working groove, he found it was very satisfying to serve his soul mate.

Soul mate. How had it ever come to that? How had the most troubled and oblivious, yet conserved Gank wound up entwined with a fiery, passionate, outgoing sex bomb like Patricia? Maybe it was the first time they met, when he punched a hole in the closet wall, she knew there was something different about him...No. She had been particularly weirded out by that thing he did. No, the catalyst was likely their first date shortly after the Netherworld happening. He had gained the help of one of the few survivors, Juan Julio Hemenez, on Antecedent and taken her a much needed dinner.

He wondered if that knife was still in that couch in that once-abandoned apartment in Antecedent, of which they made out on for the very first time. Probably not.

Eventually, his thoughts turned off and he simply focused on cleaning. He laid the clean, glistening weapons out on the table on top of a cloth and went to shower. They would need some time to air dry before he oiled them up. As he passed his wife by, he said to her,

"Hey, babe, don't forget: we're holo calling the kids tonight. Can you please set that up?"

As her head flicked toward him, her hair bounced and he caught a glimpse of red on her neck under her hair.

"Hold on," he said. "You missed a spot." He then proceeded to lick his index finger, lift her hair with his other hand and then rub away at the patch of grey blood.

"It's still kind of hard to believe how...explodable those Boncheddi gangers were? Talk about phantasmagorical. They take a bullet like those zombies in that one holo flick, Condemned 9: Bullet Train."

 

[Miss Blonde]

When Patricia stepped out of the shower she did so as herself, not Miss Blonde, not a viscous and ruthless crime lord who wanted to kill her enemies and stop at nothing to be victorious. It was like a hole in her, that alter ego. A hole that couldn't be filled by any material item in the world, money, drugs, ships. It was just a pit that fed on greed and violence. And as much as she just wanted to be Patricia right now she couldn't go back to being that wide eyed lusty Republic agent. Because the surgically altered face of Miss Blonde was looking at her in the mirror.

With a long sigh the woman stepped away from the mirror and proceeded to head out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around her body. What was she doing? Her job was to take down people like herself. To uphold the law and be a better person for her children. Was this really the example she wanted to set for them?

So while she was lost in thought her husband's words fell on deaf ears until he reached down to her and cleaned some more blood off of her neck. And once he did that it kind of pushed her over the edge, the point where you ask yourself how you got here and why were you here? The abyss where you lose yourself completely.

"Yeah." She said half paying attention.

Sitting down on the sofa the woman looked down at her hands and thought about everyone she had robbed or killed with them. It was a long list, a very very long list. With a drawn out sigh the woman kept her gaze downward and shook her head softly.

"What are we doing, Jarven?" She asked in her natural speaking voice.


[member="Jarven Zexxel"]

 

[Jarven Zexxel]

"Yeah." She said half paying attention.

Oh, boy. Here they went again. Their fights always started out like this...Almost always. The big ones, anyway. First, she started hearing half of what he said, mainly distracted by thoughts in her head. Then, he would do something seemingly mundane, causing her to blow up, and they would fight until the real reasons behind her tension were revealed. He was not in the mood for history to repeat itself, and yet...

Unconditional love mean that you didn't hold an itemized accounting book of past wrongs in your heart against someone. With as much hurt as there was in this galaxy, some of it caused by him, it was important hold such values close to heart, especially concerning one's wife. A cold chill ran down his spine at the idea that he would ever forget that value...

Her question gave him pause as he leaned against the wall and settled in for some soul searching.

"We're doing whatever the HELL we want, is what we've been doing." In retrospect, it might have been better not to inadvertently put emphasis on the word "hell", given their line of work. "But, I can only really speak for myself on this one. The way I see it, I've been working with and protecting the people I love and care about. Everyone else outside of my circle either knows not to mess with me or gets the bare minimum of one bullet."

"Tell me, in your own words: what have you been doing, baby?"

[member="Miss Blonde"]

 

[Miss Blonde]

[member="Jarven Zexxel"]

"Losing myself, Jarven. Losing myself in terrible things." Blonde said as she put her placed her face in her palms for a moment.

And there was truth to her words, hell she couldn't even remember the last time she was herself. All recent memory was Miss Blonde shooting up civilians, letting the freak off of his leash to bring forth chemical death and destruction. Was she this monster now? Was that all she was?

"I created Miss Blonde to escape from being me, only until the heat went down. Well it's gone now and here I am still, this crime lord who had innocent people killed. I know deep down inside that I'm capable of it, but it's not what I want." Blonde said with another sigh before looking over to Jarven.

"Do you think it's time I start being Patricia again? That I do what's right? I can never return to the Republic or most civilized parts of space, we're criminals and I accept that but maybe I can try to just-" The woman cut herself off and laid her head back on the sofa.

"You think I'm a monster don't you?" She asked her husband as she continued to sit there.

The woman was going through it right now, everything that was bothering her that she kept inside. She knew that Blonde was her darker side and that she was responsible for those actions, but when you dawned the cape and boots you needed to fit that persona in the crime world of be perceived as weak. That was a fast way to get yourself killed in this industry. But despite those actions she had made she just wanted things to go back to how they were, when all they had to fight over her being gone on business trips and how to spend the mountains of legally obtained cash that didn't need to be laundered.

 

[Jarven Zexxel]

[member="Miss Blonde"]

Jarven arched his eyebrows at her question before speaking to her in a tender voice.

"What I think is that, for better or worse, you're my wife and that I love you so much. If anyone's an actual monster, it's me. If you can accept me, baby, then I can accept what you are, monster or no...except for one aspect. I don't care if you call yourself Blonde, Patricia or what have you so much as I care, above all things, that you remain a mother foremost. Our children our growing up, honey. Erika's starting to date. Kincaid's trying to draw manga. Junior's becoming a toddler and we're not there watching any of them grow up."

His body language turned to defeat as he stepped back and leaned against the wall opposite his wife. He started getting emotional as guilt plagued his mind.

"If anyone around here should be scorned for changing, it should be me. I freaking...When Damien ([member="Fos Misao"]) got a hold of me and changed me, I was appalled, but...secretly invigorated. A guilty pleasure. I got that taste and let another scientist mess with my brain. I felt the power and thought I didn't want to be dumb Jarven who couldn't even operate a spacecraft anymore. Of course, it was never enough, so I took treatments to quell my fur...I always justified it to myself in one way or another. Now...it's all catching up to me..."

He stopped short there and didn't feel like continuing. He didn't want to deliver the bad news now. Especially not right now.