The Outer Rim House Hunter's Show, episode 1: Light-sided Outback

[Ugohr Poof]

"After many difficult choices to make in the selection of the participants, we have finally made a decision. So let's welcome today's participant, a hero of the Kathol Outback, Matthew Robinson!" Katherine told on the camera drone.

Ugohr was to introduce the two properties that he both visited: once when trying to make a deal for the exclusive brokerage of 100,000 units on Elrood with Salacia Incorporated, one of the very properties Matthew has to choose from. Between two properties worth 300,000 credits each, he has two choices: a downtown condo on Elrood or Darth Scabious' former castle on Malastare. The inner court of the latter is large enough to land a 20x20m ship in it. Ugohr may not have liked the faux-Naboo style of the castle, built by one Anastasia Volzhin, now a First Order fashion model, who swore to never again design buildings that she wouldn't personally use on some level after the castle was completed. But he found the condo on Elrood to be a tad overpriced. And the castle was sold for 300k credits only because Darth Scabious lost a fortune investing in battle droid manufacturers, who all collapsed with the Techno Union. And even Xi Char Cathedral was not safe, despite selling inordinate amounts of municipal patrol droid starfighters to the Republic.

"Mesa Ugohr Poof. For today's show, oursa participant issa faced with a choice between duey properties. Theysa were da properties oursa previously scheduled participant was supposen to choose from, but because shesa died over Coruscant - mesa fought on Coruscant, too - yousa da participant for today" Ugohr told on the camera, too.

"After the debacle where our previous host was killed in the crossfire of the Eighth Battle of Ruusan, it is good to see that the Outer Rim House Hunter's Show is coming back in force with a new host, Katherine Vaygr!"

"Yousa have a choice between a downtown condo on Elrood or a castle on Malastare: Wesa will tell you everything yousa need to know about both properties"

[member="Matthew Robinson"]

 

[Matthew Robinson]

[member="Ugohr Poof"]

Matt never viewed himself as a hero. He was just doing his job. And once he found out who submitted his name for this contest, he was gonna have words. Must've been that ginger or maybe [member="Judah Dashiell"]. No way could Matt afford one of these places on his own with all that loan debt. And they knew that. Did they feel sorry for Matt and submit him?

Those tossers.

A hand came up and tugged at the tie around his neck. He had collywobbles out the wazoo. And for a moment, hazel-eyes stared blankly at the cameras. The medic offered a wave to the camera, snapping out of his daze. "Oy, thanks for...uh-having me."

Yup, he would definitely whallop Judah or Bryce for this.

 

[Ugohr Poof]

"Issa funky: issa not about buyen property for yoursa-self. Yousa will be given da property yousa choose at da end, for free"

The trick is that [member="Judah Dashiell"] was the guy who ordered the construction of the Elrood condo on display in that very episode being shot. On behalf of Salacia Incorporated he gave away that particular unit and the very episode featured the unit. The intended format is that the property not taken by the episode will be kept in escrow for a future episode in that price bracket, attributed at random before the episode is shot, in addition of the location of the contestant. That is, if the contestant's factional allegiances took them closer to the northern area of the galaxy, the chosen properties will be up north, and the same hold for southern participants. Personally Ugohr would have taken the castle on Malastare but he had a lot of biases: he was in command of the entire ground force assigned to its defense, he held the command since the day the Alliance even set its sights on Malastare, and IGR, his own business, was headquartered on the planet. The main thing he disliked about that property was that it felt a little fake from the outside. Then again, Anastasia Volzhin was a largely unproven asset as an architect.

"If yousa want to clean up da maxibig messen da dark side left on the galaxy, perhaps yousa should consider da castle on Malastare: yousa can operate a medical clinic with several doctors in it alongside yoursa own practice - and housing. Issa previous owner was a near-bankrupt Sith Lord whosa castle got foreclosen. There-sa a room like a surgery block and even a room for a bacta tank of yoursa own"

"Salacia Incorporated, the builder of the second unit showcased today, built a condo on Elrood designed with the ability to fit with furniture as outfitted by many species, and features the feel of having an ocean view that you would assuredly not get on Malastare, on top of wanting to separate medical practice space and personal space" Katherine added after Ugohr did his description of the Malastarian castle.

[member="Matthew Robinson"]

 

[Matthew Robinson]

[member="Ugohr Poof"]

"Right, no, I get it mate." The medic knew it wasn't about buying anything. Being a homeowner was just a big step. And there was a general feeling of being tied down. "Thanks for the erm, opportunity."

Maybe he could sell it eventually to pay off some of those loans.

The gungan had a good point about the castle. Still sounded a wee bit overwhelming, though. And right now most of his time was spent on mobile facilities. He was already short on time and resources. To start another one like this just seemed, overwhelming. Maybe for once, he could be just a wee bit selfish.

"Blimey. I just have to tell you which one I want?"

 

[Ugohr Poof]

(OOC: This thread is the dev thread for the Malastarian castle)

"Yousa also want to compare da cost of ownership"

In the context of real estate, cost of ownership includes property taxes, upkeep, utilities and mortgage, one of the big costs of ownership being negated here: mortgage amoritzation. Many previous episodes of the Outer Rim House Hunter's Show featured a choice between a rather upscale condo or townhome as a diamond in the rough vs. a much larger home in a rather undesirable planet. The only things Ugohr knew about the late [member="Ecarht Arak"] was that she would find the Malastarian castle to be too much home for her, and that, due to the previous host preferring dark-siders, the previous host actually bet that she would have survived Operation Blackout. The breakdown of the costs is flashed in front of Matthew, upkeep and utilities being much more expensive for the case of the castle on Malastare, and property taxes too.

"Since da Malastare castle issa foreclosure, yousa could sell da Malastare castle in rather short order and saven dat particular Sith Lord from bankruptcy as well as yoursa-self: according to Alliance banking regulations, da proceeds of the sale on a foreclosed property will goen to any outstanding debt on a foreclosure until da debt(s) dat led to da foreclosure(s) in da first place issa fully repaid, even if more than una transaction issa required to clear off outstanding debts. Da castle issa believen to be worth 1.2 million credits, and dat Sith Lord still have 700k in debt from dat castle"

"That's a bit paradoxical but what's important is your own needs. If you feel that you can't afford to maintain a castle on Malastare but could do so for a condo on Elrood, even when considering the potential revenue that you could get by leasing it... you can always sublet whichever property you choose"

The truth is that his fiancée, whom the Dug Sith Lord viewed as a trophy wife, is about to sell their 20% stake hastily bought in Xi Char Cathedral, a manufacturer of battle droids, in the wake of the Republican dominion of Charros IV. He will refund said 700k in debt once the transaction goes through.

[member="Matthew Robinson"]

 

[Gorba the Hutt]

(entering at the request of client)

Two smartly dressed figures emerged behind [member="Matthew Robinson"]. One was a Karkarodon with an elongated cranium, wearing a black suit with blue pinstripes. The other was an avian, a Talortai, whose golden stare seemed to be judging everything and everyone it settled upon. He wore a gray power suit.

"Excuse me, Mr. Poof," said the Karkarodon, head turned fully to one side so that it could aim a single eye at the Gungan. "We are Mr. Hammer and Talon and we represent Mr. Robinson in all his legal affairs. At this time we will be taking over all official communications regarding the possible sale of estate." He turned to Matthew, "Mr. Robinson, this way, Mr. Talon will handle the rest of this affair."

The Talortai stepped forward and opened his beak, "As you might imagine, the purchase of a castle in which a Sith Lord resided carries considerable risks to the buyer, not least among them the potential of civil asset forfeiture by the government. At this time, my client does not wish to hold any liability for these matters. Any further inquiries regarding this matter can be conducted through our offices. Here's my card."

A business card appeared in his fingers as if by magic and he handed it to the Gungan.

"Good day, sir."

He turned to leave.

[member="Ugohr Poof"]

 

[Matthew Robinson]

[member="Ugohr Poof"] [member="Mobius"]

"Blimey, I...," voice trailed off as he was escorted from the room by a pair of lawyers. The medic would never get an answer to his question. He knew better than to question the law. All that doctor vs lawyer stuff. Rivalries. Mixers.

Matt just did what he was told because he was too much in student debt to do otherwise.

Bright lights of the cameras faded as the body of Hammer and Talon blocked them out and he was escorted away. The medic would've allegedly asked for the condo but he was quickly informed not to say another word. Bollocks.

 

[Ugohr Poof]

"Yousa must be excusen for da interruption, issa appear dat today's participant issa in a maxibig messen"

A near-bankrupt Sith Lord? Ugohr feels tempted to tell all that he knew about the Sith Lord that previously owned the castle in the episode, Darth Scabious, currently living in First Order space. The previous host would have done no less. He may have been killed on Ruusan in defense of the Sith Triumvirate capital, he was otherwise well-respected on holovision.

"Wesa taken da opportunity to talk about da previous owner of da castle on Malastare featured today: hesa was a Dug, hesa left One Sith service because of hisen problems with theirsa approach to economic policy and issa role in grand strategy. Hesa was a corporate raider, hesa hated da near-complete neglect of economy and soft power. Hesa served da Techno Union and issa downfall also causen hisen financial demise"

[member="Mobius"]

 

[Ugohr Poof]

Looks like the last contestant being driven away would be of no use to Ugohr by now. He could not help but ponder what the impact would be on the show in terms of audience. The show has had difficulty rebounding from the Ruusan debacle, where the last host was killed and a sponsor pulled out of the show in its wake. Then again, the last sponsor, one RBF Realty (here RBF meant residential-business-faction) was closer to the Sith Triumvirate but also had office space in One Sith space. For this reason Battleon Town News decided to replace the sponsors, to terminate the contract with RBF for sponsorship, alongside a new host.

"Even if oursa last contestant was taken away by hisen lawyers, wesa should talk about revenue-generating potential of both because da next contestant will be facen with da same choice. For da time being wesa assume dat hesa not choosen anything"

"If the next participant decides that he would rather landlord the property, let's take a look at the rent he could collect. If the next participant decides that he'd rather rent the castle to businesses or the Alliance, he could snatch a much higher revenue than the 1,300 credits a month he could get on Elrood. We'd be talking about as much as 20,000 credits per month"

 

[Ugohr Poof]

"Wesa announcen dat wesa buyen da castle on Malastare for oursa own needs. Wesa will use it as a datacenter away from da main hustle-and-bustle of Malastare Narrows"

"Our sponsor IGR Brokerage decided that, for better for for worse, a separate datacenter would be a better fit for their operations, despite operating a 10-floor office building in Malastare Narrows as their headquarters. It appears that IGR Brokerage has outgrown its base of operations of Malastare and appears to be setting its sights on Dulvoyinn soon. That's all the time we had for today"

A datacenter for the southwest region. IGR mostly remained in Alliance space, especially since Coruscant was the main focus of the business. Ugohr expected that, despite the debacle on Chandrila, he could nevertheless land the big deal according to which IGR would be able to have exclusive brokerage rights on a sizeable chunk of the Financial District. Just when he would actually be able to do such he couldn't tell.

"This episode of the Outer Rim House Hunter's Show was brought to you by IGR Brokerage. For all your real estate needs, contact IGR Brokerage!"