Private The Juncture

[Kirie]

THE JUNCTURE
Quinn's Apartment,
Jutrand
Kaila Irons

​

It was a beautiful Jutrand morning, just the kind Kirie liked- cool and clear and crisp. The sun had just risen and was slowly beginning to warm the stone rooftops that characterised the wealthy residential district where she lived with Quinn. Kirie stood on the doorstep overlooking the street, waiting for her visitor to arrive.

She had stood on this stoop waiting for her before. Back before she knew her as Kaila. Back when she had been Anathemous, and the sight of her melting out of the darkness had been enough to make Kirie jump.

But it was morning now, and even though it was not so long ago, a lot had changed since that night. Some of it bad, but most of it for the better. Kirie had arrived back on Jutrand with the realisation that her old life, the one she had been chasing, didn't exist anymore. She would have to make good on what she had found for herself in the Sith.

Quinn said that she had potential, a power that lurked inside her just as it did the Princess. Kaila and Quinn would help Kirie unlock that potential. That scared her, but she was willing to try. Even if she made a terrible apprentice and a worse Sith, it would provide her a place in the Empire with the woman she loved, and the friendships she had tentatively secured. And, if there was purpose that she could find for herself along the way, that wouldn't be so bad. It wasn't like she could just keep stumbling along forever.

The flash of blonde hair in the morning caught Kirie's eye and she looked up, giving Kaila a smile as she drew closer. She stepped down from the stoop so she stood her usual height, a little below Kaila's eye level. For some reason, standing taller than the Knight felt wrong to Kirie.

"Hey." said Kirie. "Sorry it's so early. I have class later but I wanted to get started." Kirie apologetically held out a duraporcelain mug full of steaming caf to Kaila by way of apology, and led the way inside. The atrium was empty, save for a few packing boxes stacked up in the corner, leaving space enough for Kaila and Kirie to train without fear of hitting something.

"We're moving soon apparently." Kirie offered. "Some new place. Better security." She gave Kaila a meaningful look. The need for increased defences would not be lost on her.

"So..." Kirie said slowly. "How do you normally, uh, do this?"

 

[Kaila Irons]

Wearing: Robes
Tag: Kirie

The cure to distrust is knowledge, for distrust is, to the denial of many sith, fear of the unknown.

Kaila wore a gentle smile as she approached, knowing she may trust Kirie. She trusted her with the treasure she held most dear even; the heart of Quinn Varanin . Of the numerous who coveted it, Kirie was the only one with whom she willingly shared. She was a gentle soul, unlikely to break such resplendent diamond, but could she protect it? Kaila was here to ensure the answer would be a resounding Yes.

And so she arrived with a long case in her firm grasp, full of little things to help Kirie learn.

She waved with her free, gloved hand as Kirie stepped down to greet her, then graciously accepted the warm caff with an equally warm smile.

"Thank you! how thoughtful."

The young Darth paused to savor he drink, sighing contently. Though she favored tea for her health, the extra caffeine was a welcome indulgence. Gods know she slept poorly, especially since Susevfi.

"Hey." said Kirie. "Sorry it's so early. I have class later but I wanted to get started."

"Oh you're quite alright. The empire never sleeps, neither do we." she stifled a chuckle.

Following inside however, Kaila frowned at the stacked boxes and empty floor, despite the repairs.

"Moving?" she echoed.

"Necessary, I'm afraid. But a wise choice."

Though it was not Quinn they'd been after, an attack on the home of their princess, and one held in such high esteem by the throne, It illustrated to Kaila the failings of this empire, the reason she fought for change. Their enemies were much too bold, too comfortable with such blatant disunity even whilst war raged on their borders. Borders which she had already bled to defend, borders for which Quinn bled to expand.

Her knuckles tightened around the suitcase at the thought.

"So..." Kirie said slowly. "How do you normally, uh, do this?"

Remembering that she needed to focus, Kaila released a slow, steadying breath.

"For over over 4 millennia, our acolytes have drilled primarily in martial skills, even before learning the theory and philosophy of the dark side, perhaps even our code."

Kaila began, channeling her passion into the passing of historical study as she often had to her own student.

"I believed in teaching my apprentice the opposite order, however I naïvely believed we had more time."

She set the case down atop some nearby boxes with a plastoid clatter, retrieving a pair of Bokken sabers, pointing one hilt first towards Kirie.


"We did not."

​

 

[Kirie]

THE JUNCTURE
Quinn's Apartment,
Jutrand
Kaila Irons

​

"Necessary, I'm afraid. But a wise choice."

Kirie gave a tight nod and sipped from her caf to avoid looking at Kaila. There was no need to linger on those events, they were seared into both their memories. Quinn, dying slowly on Susevfi, and Kirie fighting for her life in the home they shared, while the Kainate tried her back into servitude. Thanks to Kaila, the mark on her arm that had triggered that attack was gone, with only her chain code tattoo left marring her flesh. But, the threat seemed to remain. That could not be forgotten. Her enemy, whoever they were, was just lying in wait.

Still, moving felt like a loss. This was the place where she had fallen in love with Quinn. Her safe haven. Sacred ground.

As she listened to Kaila explain the outline of their first session, Kirie walked a slow circle of the atrium, weaving between shafts of light that came down from the large framed windows above the landing. In the dust they had kicked up packing, they were like clear beams, which Kirie unconsciously avoided, her feet tracing the dark patches as she listened.

"I believed in teaching my apprentice the opposite order, however I naïvely believed we had more time."

Yes. Time. Even since she had returned from Weik, the outside presence of something, or someone who wished to harm her remained pervasive. She could feel herself being followed, whatever it was closing in. One day, if she wasn't ready, Kirie would be caught out. She could feel it coming, and she wouldn't mistake her gut again.

"Quinn has agreed to help with my Force instruction too- And I may yet enroll in the Academy." said Kirie.

Kirie looked at the outstretched Bokken saber nervously. She didn't like hurting people. Every time in her life that she had accidentally injured someone, she bad always ended up shedding more tears than her unintentional victim. A little embarrassing, but she couldn't help it. Violence had always made her feel sick.

But, that wasn't an option anymore, right? Kirie had to harden up. She had chosen a violent life. Danger, bloodshed, fear. These were the risks that she had accepted to be here with Quinn. But, Kirie knew she had to do more to prepare for it. She had already almost died here twice, and she would remain vulnerable if she didn't learn to defend herself. Worse, she would put Quinn at risk. She would never forgive herself if the Princess was injured trying to help Kirie because she'd been unable to help herself.

So, she would try to learn. She took ahold of the training weapon with both hands, holding it in what she thought looked like a ready stance in front of her.

"Okay." said Kirie with more confidence than she felt. "Let's do this."

 

[Kaila Irons]

Wearing: Robes
Tag: Kirie

Kaila remained silent.

The shift was inhuman at first, from the warmth of Kaila struggling to break free of the cold iron in her bones, to the mechanical focus of Darth Anathemous. The one who saw everything.

And Kirie's hesitation stuck out like a sore thumb.

"The academy?" she hummed deeply, ghostly.

"That is a dangerous place. I can see why she arranged me to teach you then."

Anathemous took a step forward, carefully lifting her weapon to Kirie's wrists, gently nudging them upwards until her guard was at the correct height.

"Acolyte's setting up accidents for their fellow students, backstabbing one another for the chance at a sponsor, to prove themselves 'top dog' of the pack. To be noticed."

"I know the type. Remind me to tell you about the Queensnake,"

She paused a moment, staring distantly, right through Kirie. The names... why couldn't she remember their names? Had she gone through so many?

Kaila blinked the thought away, then gently tapped the young woman's leg.

"Back weighted stance, it will keep you balanced."


Then she stepped back a few paces, giving her footwork another glance. And once she was satisfied, Kaila assumed the same stance, holding her blade between them.

And in that moment, she recalled the first time He instructed her.

"What can you remember about fighting? I would see such knowledge put to the test as your first lesson, you may attack me with everything you have when you are prepared."

"Prepare. Attack. Do not hesitate."

The phantom pain flared in her ribcage. He did not hesitate to throw her about. The acolytes would not hesitate to end Kirie's life. But could Kaila prepare her for this, without becoming to her what He was to herself?

She took a deep, steadying breath, and gently added—

"I can take it."

​

 

[Kirie]

THE JUNCTURE
Quinn's Apartment,
Jutrand
Kaila Irons
​

Kirie had spent enough time with Kaila to pick up the subtle shift that she underwent. There wasn't any one thing she could pick up, but perhaps it was a slight darkening of her expression, a change in the way her eyes glittered in the light, a minute adjustment in her posture. Maybe it was none of that, and took the form of some hard to quantify shift in her Force presence, something Kirie had only just found out she could feel. Whatever the mechanism, Kirie noticed the result. Kaila had stepped aside, and Anathemous had the reigns. A touch of the old nervousness that had always run through her when she was close to the Sith returned, surprising even Kirie. She hoped that Kaila wouldn't notice the slight twinge of fear. Hoped it wouldn't hurt her.

It was just, Kaila she could almost put a bounds on. That was the part Kirie had come to know, in the soft light of her old room down the hall, in the candlelit ballroom on Naboo, and later, by moonlight.

But, Anathemous was a different, foreign thing. A part of Kaila that Kirie had only seen a handful of times. Almost a different person, the way Quinn had seemed when she was out of control on Echnos. It wasn't a fair characterisation, and it made Kirie guilty to lay such judgement on her friend. But still, when the Sith took on that hard edge, part of her was afraid.

"Acolyte's setting up accidents for their fellow students, backstabbing one another for the chance at a sponsor, to prove themselves 'top dog' of the pack. To be noticed."

"I know the type. Remind me to tell you about the Queensnake,"

Kirie listened attentively, trying to stop her eyes from following Anathemous as she walked a slow circle around her, correcting her posture, her guard. The things she was saying about the Academy were things she'd heard before in form, but specific, like Kaila had experienced them. Already she was hesitating from joining the Academy out of fear for its rigidity and dogma. Surely it couldn't be worth risking death for then, right?

And what about the Queensnake? Kirie wondered what that meant, but she didn't feel it was appropriate to interrupt the lesson and ask Kaila- Anathemous?- to tell the story. She made a mental note to ask her about it later.

Then, Anthemous, Kaila, stood in front of her again.

"Prepare. Attack. Do not hesitate."

Kirie's knuckles gripped the wooden handle. She had expected a few lessons on footwork and drills. Maybe a sparring match at most. Not... This. She didn't want to hurt Kaila.

"I dont think..." Kirie began, but the rest of the protest died in her throat. She had asked for this. Anathemous said she could take it. It was Kirie who was being the weakling again, shying from the reality that would leave her dead soon enough if she didn't face it.

Okay then. She just had to give everything she had, and not hesitate.

Kirie grit her teeth and stepped forward, both hands on the saber as she raised it in a wide and sloppy attack. She swung hard, muscles burning with the residual strength of the blood that had sizzled on her tongue, eyes closed so she wouldn't have to see it connect. She had aimed at the young Sith's shoulder, but in her step forward to strike, she had inadvertantly raised her arm. With her eyes now screwed shut she did not correct it, and instead swung the wooden saber at Kaila's head.

 

[Kaila Irons]

Wearing: Robes
Tag: Kirie

Kaila was a poor teacher, she knew.

Anathemous knew, or would, were she not so absorbed in the moment. That was the simplest explanation of her two halves— one to think too often of their past and future, and one who'd learnt to throw all else aside to survive the present. Yet both fought to prevent the past repeating.

Kaila wished to see Kirie break the cycle of loss.

So Anathemous raised her sword, pupils contracting at the faintest sign of movement. One had to appreciate the cruel irony, that she was more like the echani when at her furthest from understanding Quinn Varanin . Or anyone at all.

The young lord took one step back to her own surprise, body twisting to avoid the Weikian's telegraphed but unexpectedly fierce blow which may have struck her face if not for the timely interception of her own blade, catching it first by the tip before both blades slid down the other's lengths. One could almost picture the sparks of real combat.

Anathemous certainly could.

Despite her stern, instinctual expression, the way it got her blood pumping, a part of the warrior-witch took great joy in that. But of course she'd not been trained to play games like other sith, and so she made to end the fight in one strike. Her muscles remembered countless hours of Juyo practice and acted thusly, twisting her defensive guard to strike at the head in one swoop. Fighting between her two halves however, Kaila stopped the mock blade just short.


Taking a few deep breaths, the baleful fire in her eye dimmed just slightly as Kaila regained her composure, and stepped back to assess.

"Sloppy, but not abysmal. Room for improvement."

No. She was determined to teach differently than her master, even if subtly so.

"You're strong for your size."

Kaila nodded slowly.

"You strike for the head, this is good. A saber cauterizes wounds, and so you cannot rely on bleeding the foe. Better to kill before you're killed."

She thought for a moment, replaying their ultimately short battle in her head, pinching her chin in thought.

"Many beginners telegraph their blows, as did you, albeit subtly so. Rather than raise your arm to swing, try swinging from below, and twisting your wrist to strike from on high. Juyo draws on ferocity and unexpected angles of attack. I believe this form may suit you, in time, though we should discuss a few."

"And... we may need to work on your flinch response. I did say I can take it."

She added with a knowing smile.

​

 

[Kirie]

Kirie's eyes were glued to the wooden blade hovering over her ear, fear showing clear. It was only when the weapon was removed that she dared to release the held breath. She hadn't even seen the blow coming, let alone raised a hand to stop it. What she had done was gasped aloud and slapped her free hand over her mouth in shock. Embarrassment and something darker mixed within her and Kirie's eyes were drawn to the floor.

A saber cauterises its wound.

You cannot rely on making someone bleed.

It was better to kill, than to be killed.

These thoughts spun through Kirie's head as she listened to Anathemous speak.

Juyo. The ferocity form. It had taken a moment for Kirie to conjure the memory, but she had read of it in a book in the library on the fundamentals of saber combat. Of all the forms, she recalled, it was the most vicious, the most driven by emotion. Is that really what suited her? She needed something refined, precise, defensive, right?

But Kirie couldn't even convince herself that was true. She was a creature of grit and cruel instinct. She knew that, she just resisted it. Didn't want to admit it. Deep down, Kirie thought maybe Juyo was right for her. She could double down on every urge that made her grit her teeth and count to ten. She could forget her proper, reserved personality and let loose. That wasn't the way Kirie liked to imagine herself, but it was preferable to having Quinn killed in front of her, or Eira, or Tamsin, or any of the other friends she had made. What would Kaila do if that happened? Kirie would lose everything in an instant.

So she had to try harder, beat back the voice that told her to stop, that this was wrong, and listen to that other, quiet voice. The one that had appeared recently, that told her to fight, and slash, and kill or be killed. The scary part that Kirie didn't want to admit to herself was that she was worried she'd enjoy it

"I think that you should hit back." said Kirie with a confidence she didn't feel. "I'm in my head and I think I need it to, uh, feel more... Real?"

Kirie grasped the training saber in both hands again. Her feet found the stance that Anathemous showed her. She brought the tip of the saber low, just as instructed.

"Ready?" Kirie asked, and the moment Anathemous indicated yes, she was already swinging the weapon, twisting her wrist to swing the weapon around as she followed through, this time aimed to impact her opponent's shoulder.

Kaila Irons ​

 

[Kaila Irons]

Wearing: Robes
Tag: Kirie

Kaila knew fear, but to see it in Kirie's eyes sent a pang of guilt lancing threw her core.

Was she already pushing her too far, too fast? She'd done the opposite for her own apprentice, she believed, trading nature for nurture in it's entirety and denying the girl valuable experience. It left her ill prepared, nearly cost Tamsin her life at times. Perhaps in her desire to protect Kirie, she was trading one extreme for the other.

"Kirie—" she frowned. Perhaps they should take a break.

"I think that you should hit back." said Kirie with a confidence she didn't feel. "I'm in my head and I think I need it to, uh, feel more... Real?"

"I..." her brows furrowed nervously.

There was a much greater risk of injury, even if Kirie was stronger than one might assume. Fractures, blood, things they'd need Quinn to tend immediately. It wouldn't do to have her show up to class black and blue, to say nothing of the pain itself.

But... there was some merit to the suggestion.

"That is how my master trained me, though we used live blades."

She rubbed at her sleeve, beneath which the scars of a grafted limb ached with phantom pain.

Nevertheless, Kaila nodded; "Very well,"

"cHIT!"

Kirie wasn't waiting, and her movements were fast. Too fast, the likes of which she'd not seen since fighting that Sangnir assassin, though she hadn't a clue what to call their ilk.

Following the Weikian's blade was a challenge even for a dedicated swordwitch, and even as Anathemous brought her blade up to defend, it slid off the edge of her broad shoulder in a grazing hit that may may have shaven some skin in a real fight. Even so, Anathemous had already fallen back on her instinctual defense and counterstrikes.

Combining the principles of both unpredictable Niman and deceptive Juyo, Anathemous switched her two handed stance for a single, reversed grip soon after the blades clashed, stepping forward in a reverse slash at her opponent's collar bone and positioning herself to thrust if she needed to retaliate against Kirie's surprising ferocity and strength.

It seemed they were both learning all sorts of things about each other.

Perhaps the echani were right to converse this way.

​

 

[Kirie]

There was a strange, thoughtless thrill that reverberated through Kirie's body upon catching Kaila by surprise, a little shiver that ran down her spine as the wooden blade collided with the Sith's shoulder in a glancing blow. She liked it, the kinetic thrum of the impact as it rattled the haft of her weapon, the slight flare of Kaila's nostrils, her eyes widening just a touch with what Kirie imagined to be pain and surprise. This enjoyment went unexamined, because already Kaila was responding to Kirie's challenge, and Kirie, so eager and spurred on by the strange feeling bubbling away in her gut, had overextended herself. She was fast and strong, but she was inexperiened and reckless too. Though she made an attempt of stepping back and raising her sparring saber to defend, it was no use. Pain bloomed against her collarbone and she felt a sickening crunch beneath her skin. Kirie stepped back and took in a sharp breath. Perhaps Kaila would have seen something change in her expression, a minute but noticeable difference in her usually docile eyes.

Inside her, something that had been welling in Kirie broke loose, and with it came all the pain, all the sorrow and all of the rage that she had been repressing for months. She had been kidnapped and imprisoned and beaten and sentence to live a life here with no choice and no options. And all of a sudden, without Kirie willing or wanting it, it was all coming out.

The familiar figure of Kaila melted away, first into the darkened form of Anathemous, then blurring into others. The tall Sangnir on Echnos, the armour-clad Serina Calis, then real enemies like the slaver who had first clipped a metal collar to her neck, even Carnifex himself, the one who had ultimately brought her here. Kirie swung her saber at them all. Of course, deep down buried beneath her panic and her anger and this strange frenzied energy, she knew it was still Kaila she was attacking. She could see her beneath the flickering images.

The saber left her hands. Kirie didn't know if she had been disarmed of if she'd just dropped it. She kept swinging, this time with her fists and her hands clawing at whatever parts of Kaila she could reach and harm. At her face and neck and body and arms. She kept fighting because it felt good. Because, as long as this burning in her belly drove her she felt no crushing weight of misery, no fear or dread, and no pain, even from blows she received. So she punched, and clawed and screamed wordlessly until she couldn't move anymore.

Whether Kaila stopped her or let it happen, by the time the rhythm of the blows slowed, and the bubbling energy in her veins reduced, and the roaring in her ears subsided, Kirie was already sobbing.

"Kail-la" Kirie gasped out between choking sobs. She crumpled onto a ball on the dusty floor. "I'm ss-orry. I didn't mean-" But it didn't matter. She had done it. Kirie had abused Kaila's offer to teach her, without meaning to she had tricked her into coming here and being vulnerable and then punished her for it. It was awful. She was awful, and worse that that, it meant something else.

She was just like them.

Kaila Irons ​

 

[Kaila Irons]

Wearing: Robes
Tag: Kirie

The shift should have been so familiar.

Anathemous, Kaila, whoever she was now, had been in Kirie's shoes so many times. Force rage, no matter how many times she tried to rein herself in, to transform blind fury into an act of Battlemind, had still become a regular occurrence. The herald of Anathema. But not once had it been turned against her.

Whatever this was, she'd been ill prepared for it.

Her training saber snapped as Kirie continued to swing like a wild animal, and as she tossed it aside so as not to splinter the girl, Kaila had assumed it to be their cue to stop.

Then the next blow came, and the next. And the next.

The man she once called master had ensured that Kaila would develop a tolerance for pain unlike any other, but with each grunt and wince, her forearm bruised inside and out as the flesh was pinched between wooden saber and metal bone which creaked and groaned with every strike. Any normal woman would have broken their arm many times over already, but neither of them it seemed, were any such thing.

Kaila ripped the saber from her grasp, the force being her only strength enough to stop such a vicious, feral attack.

"That's enough...!!"

Kirie's strength was legendary, inhuman. And horrifying.

It the first battle Kaila could not fight. Because to fight was to risk Kirie's safety, and to harm Quinn by proxy.

"Stop it...!"

Golden eyes went wide in horror, in twisted revelation that she may die here.

"Kirie...?!"

"...KIRIE!"


Everything happened so fast, and she could not recall when she'd ended up on the floor, just that she was now and that her metal skull was ringing violently, perhaps the only thing which allowed her to be more than paste now. She didn't have time to notice the warm crimson streaking across her forehead and cheek, she couldn't even hear, and the only senses left told her to kick and swat, trying to hold the feral girl back with one strong leg as she clawed and tore the young Darth's robes and drew blood from her limbs.

If Kaila survived this it would change everything, she knew it, that was the only logical thought she could manage as the world continued to spin.

And so she made a choice.

A familiar warmth spread from her fingertips, coursing through her body just before her senses could return in their fullest. The pain vanished, giving her one less distraction as she came to. Whatever came of this, she would at least remember Kirie for more than the pain she caused.

Her eyes however, were another story...

"Kirie..." she said weakly.

There wasn't much fight left in her even without the pain. Instead she just looked up at her, eyes hollow and dim as they began to collect water.

"...I shouldn't have pushed you..."

Summoning the last of her strength, she gripped at Kirie's hand with the force, trying to root in place whichever one could still reach her battered face, even as the other continue to beat her, even if the pace slowed with Kirie's sobbing.

"Kail-la" Kirie gasped out between choking sobs. She crumpled onto a ball on the dusty floor. "I'm ss-orry. I didn't mean-"

Kaila just stared at the ceiling as Kirie fell from view, and her arm dropped limp at her side.

"...I need... bacta..." she whined in the back of her throat.

"...and some tea..."​

​

 

[Kirie]

Kirie's ribs ached from Kaila's desperate kicks. Lying curled up a short distance from her friend who she had hurt so badly, Kirie let the stabbing and painful sensation run through her body. It made the situation more real, less dreamlike, and though that brought with it the awful realisation of what she had just done, Kirie needed that clarity. All of the anger was gone now, leaving regret, and panic, and misery to take its place.

The final moments of the beating kept running through her head on repeat. Kaila's weakened voice, the way her eyes seemed to fade into dull acceptance and she just took it until Kirie's blows slowed and softened and she came to. Then there was the kindness in her words, despite what she was being put through, gently pressing Kirie in place as the last of whatever had driven her outburst dissipated. Kirie didn't know why it had happened, but it wasn't as if she'd been possessed or controlled. It was her, hurting Kaila, for no good reason except for whatever was going on inside her.

Kirie quivered, her heart breaking into little pieces, weeping shamelessly. It was pathetic. Aside from a bruise or two she was barely injured. She was the assailant, the perpetrator. Who would allow her such self pity? She imagined Kaila would be disgusted if she wasn't so badly hurt.

It was so awful. Kaila was one of her few friends, and somebody she cared about deeply, who had given her time to help Kirie despite barely knowing her. After that evening on Naboo, she had thought they had shared something deeper too, a potential for a connection beyond friendship, and beyond merely the physical. Now that was all over, any chance of something blossoming poisoned by what Kirie had just done, by revealing that she was a horrible, violent, evil person. Apparently, her well-meaning facade had tricked everyone, even herself.

Grating syllables filled the air and Kirie stirred, sitting up and hugging her knees, watching Kaila warily.

"...I need... bacta..."



"...and some tea..."

Kirie nodded feverishly, glad to have something to do other than sit and wallow in her horror and potent regret. This was the worst thing she had ever done, easily. Even the incident on Cephis hadn't really been her fault. Here, the blame was hers alone.

"O-okay." she stammered. "Uhm. I. I can d-do that."

Shakily, Kirie rose to her feet, wondering where she had put the first aid kit. She had purchased one after Kaila's had come in handy on the evening she had come to remove Kirie's brand. Even that memory was painful now, tainted. That was too sad to think about. Kirie retrieved the hefty plasteel and gently placed it beside Kaila, shuffling awkwardly around the injured woman to kneel beside her.

It'll b-buh-" Kirie swallowed and started over, the tears freely flowing still, her voice was barely intelligible over the panic and the crying. "It'll be okay," Kirie managed. "I'll make you all b-better." Kirie rummaged through the box, pulling the couple of critical care items she needed, like the bacta injectors and the wound wraps and braces. It reminded her of when she had run into Alana Calloway and tended to her scrapes at the Academy. Today was turning out much darker. "I'm so sssuh-sorry, Kaila. I'm gonna make it better."

Kirie crept very carefully towards Kaila. It felt like a horrible imposition, given what had just happened, but Kaila needed her help, and it was the least Kirie could do after what she'd just subjected her friend- former friend- to. Slowly, hand visibly trembling, Kirie first administered a stim-shot to keep Kaila from falling into unconsciousness, then followed with the bacta injector, its concoction of healing bacta and pain relief would likely make Kaila feel woozy, but with the stim shot she hoped she could keep the Sith alert.

"Okay..." Kirie let out a shaky breath. "Let's just give it a minute to- to work." she said. "Then I can get your tea."

Kaila Irons ​

 

[Kaila Irons]

Wearing: Robes
Tag: Kirie

She could hear Kirie speaking to her, and perhaps movement.

At first she breathed more heavily, the natural response of a body who's entire muscle memory was dedicated to fighting and near death experiences. The words were different however, frantic for entirely different reasons, enough that she knew it was over. The girl wasn't trying to kill her, this time.

Kirie was no longer acting like a feral animal.

It'll b-buh-" Kirie swallowed and started over, the tears freely flowing still, her voice was barely intelligible over the panic and the crying. "It'll be okay," Kirie managed. "I'll make you all b-better."

"Mrmh." Kaila groaned quietly, rolling her head to one side so that she may look as Kirie knelt beside her.

There was blood in her tousled hair when she turned.

She wasn't watching Kirie exactly, so much as her hands, double checking that the Weikian was doing as claimed. It wasn't a matter of trust, just instinct really, which still preoccupied the young Darth's remaining senses whilst she lay there, recovering the others. The spell would not allow her to feel it at the time, but Kaila's body ached with a great deal of pain, especially in her head. The world still felt unreal, even before the administered cocktail of drugs.

When at last she saw that Kirie had brought a medpac, only then did she allow herself to look at the girl's face. The demure little thing she'd teased so relentlessly on Naboo, the aftermath of a jealousy invoked by the princess with whom they both shared a heart, now tended her wounds like a battlefield medic after a grim defeat. Kaila had lost fights before, a long time ago, and even her victories always seemed to cost her something, but pride was not something she'd expected to lose again.

She'd beaten her. The servant, the acolyte, that girl whom Quinn had led by the chin, and who's soft little heart Kaila secretly desired for her own but never had the courage to admit, had defeated her utterly.

"...I thought..."

The young Darth spoke, but whether it was to rouse herself from impending sleep, to distract Kirie's frantic thoughts, or if she were simply blurting out her own thoughts, Kaila could hardly say.

"...I thought I was stronger..."

She claimed she could take it, after all.

"I thought you were—"

Kaila's jaw clenched, and eyes closed, as her body felt as if it were falling.

She hadn't even felt the needle that now pumped stims and bacta and gods know what else through her veins, not while the spell remained.

"Okay..." Kirie let out a shaky breath. "Let's just give it a minute to- to work." she said. "Then I can get your tea."

The wounded knight nodded slowly.

Tea was unimportant in the grand scheme of things, just a mood lightener really. Pain killers so that she needn't pour her energy into this spell were perhaps a higher priority, but Kaila clearly had other things on her mind.

"Kirie...?"

"...what are you?"

​

 

[Kirie]

Kirie met Kaila's eyes, her golden gaze was incomprehensible. Her emotion was difficult to read, because Kirie had never seen anything like on her before. Kaila had always looked at her with sympathy, or kindness, or amusement, or longing. Not... Whatever this was. Distrust perhaps? Fear, or revulsion? She did not know exactly. Kirie had never been very good at reading people, but she knew it was bad.

Then Kaila spoke, and Kirie found herself unable to hold eye contact. Instead she laid out the rest of her supplies, laying out a piece of cloth from inside the first aid kit and arranging the materials upon it. Neat rows of bacta patches, medications, antiseptics, syringes, dressings and tools like scissors and scalpels. It was well appointed, and she would likely need most of it for treating what she had inflicted. She hadn't meant to, Kirie had told herself. She didn't really have control of herself, or know where she was, and she didn't know her own strength. Still, there was no diminishing the damage done.

The words though, they confused her. Not what she thought would be coming out of Kaila's mouth at this moment. She figured she'd be cursing, or asking Kirie why, or telling her to get out and leave her alone.

"...I thought I was stronger..."

"But." Kirie frowned. "You- you are stronger. You didn't even fight back. It wasn't fair." She didn't know why she was saying that. Kirie knew very well why Kaila hadn't raised an arm against her even when Kirie was lost in her blind rage. It was because she had trusted her, and because she didn't want to hurt her, couldn't hurt her, because they were both bound to Quinn, and that meant they had to take care of each other. Kirie had broken that understanding. She hadn't been aware enough to realise it in the moment, but here they were.

"I thought you were—"

Kirie saw Kaila clenching her teeth and screwing her eyes shut. She figured it was from emotion more than anything else, but selfishly she picked up an injector from her array of tools and gently placed it into Kaila's hand, quickly pulling her hand away as if by touching Kaila for too long she would poison her with whatever evil lurked inside her.

"There, Kaila, for the pain." Kirie sniffled. "J-just use it when you're ready." The dose of painkillers was strong, but at least they wouldn't make her any more groggy than she already seemed. Leaving Kaila to make that decision, Kirie upended a small bottle of antiseptic into a cloth. She scooted forward and gingerly began dabbing at the wound on Kaila's head, wiping away the thickening crimson to reveal a sizeable split. It would need a bio-seal ideally, but she didn't have one. She'd have to suture it. She knew how, if Kaila would let her. For the moment, Kirie settled with cleaning up the worst of the blood and taping it closed somewhat.

Focusing on the task of helping Kaila was enough to slow her breathing a little and dry her eyes, which was a relief, but she was holding back a wave of sorrow still. There would be many more tears that night, but if she could at least take care of what she had done and get Kaila feeling a little physically better, that was something.

Kirie leaned back to start working on the myriad cuts and bruises on Kaila's face, and noticed her amber eyes seemed to sharpen and grow more alert, or maybe Kirie imagined it? Either way, Kaila spoke again.

"Kirie...?"

"...what are you?"

"I- I don't" Kirie babbled, stunned. "I'm just me. Y-you know me."

It wasn't a good answer, and it didn't even convince, her, really. The problem was Kirie didn't exactly know what was wrong with her. Until today, she hadn't realised things were this bad.

"I think I am broken inside." said Kirie, hanging her head. "I lost control. I don't really know how, the blood maybe? I didn't even really know- uh- that it was you anymore." Kirie covered her face with her hands. Her knuckles were bloody, a grim reminder.

"I understand if you never want to see me again." said Kirie. "I- I'll leave. You won't have to deal with me anymore. I'm really sorry, Kaila, I didn't want this."

Once again, as so often happened in her stupid life, she had ruined everything for herself, and she had no idea what to do about it.

Kaila Irons ​

 

[Kaila Irons]

Wearing: Robes
Tag: Kirie

"Fair?" she chuckled, or coughed, perhaps.

It's never fair, that was the first thing she ever learned about the Sith. If it wasn't her master, it was fate twisting the odds against her, and even now she could not disregard the possibility that The Force had taken control, not Kirie.

"There, Kaila, for the pain." Kirie sniffled. "J-just use it when you're ready."

She narrowed her eyes on the tools, then glanced up at Kirie. Truth be told she would have preferred stronger hands than her own, hands that were uninjured, but then she understood why the girl did not trust herself to do the job.

And so she sat up, or rather she dragged herself back against the wall, propped up just enough to see herself. It was grim. Her black robes of zeyd-cloth had been torn in many places, and beneath each tear was blood and bruises which caused her lip to twist bitterly in disgust of her own condition.

And for the first time in her life, thank the gods for the laminanium beneath it all.

The young Knight moved with a practiced ease despite her sluggish hand, tearing open a slit in her bodyglove where she then plunged the injector into her strong thigh as she had done countless times in battle.

"I- I don't" Kirie babbled, stunned. "I'm just me. Y-you know me."

"Gahaor." she cursed under her breath.

"My bones," she tapped a knuckle against her forehead, producing a metallic sound, muted by flesh.

"All metal... Only reason I-"

She needn't say the last part aloud. She set the injector aside, leaning her head back tiredly against the wall as she looked Kirie up and down. No human had that kind of strength, in fact only one being she'd ever fought could, but Kirie didn't have fangs that she could recall. Not big enough to notice, at least.

It wasn't something she held against her on it's own, The battered knight just wanted to know where it had all gone wrong.

"...blood... you said something about..."

She ground her teeth and forced herself to sit up a little straighter, nearly crying as the spell broke, but she tried, let no one claim that she did not fight it, unknowing if it were for her own sake, or Kirie's.

Until something in her broke.

"I understand if you never want to see me again." said Kirie. "I- I'll leave. You won't have to deal with me anymore. I'm really sorry, Kaila, I didn't want this."

"Wait..."

Kaila thought about it a moment.

Finally she allowed herself to look Kirie in the eyes, her own undeciding whether they were hurt, or pleading.

"...don't leave me alone like this."

The tear finally fell.

"please."

​

 

[Kirie]

"All metal... Only reason I-"

A vision invaded Kirie's mind without her wanting it, of Kaila, lying on the floor in the living room, bloodied and lifeless, killed by her hands. That was the reality she had been spared, but only by Kaila's inhuman resilience. Kirie clapped a hand over her mouth, tears welling in her eyes again.

"Oh stars, Kaila..." Kirie began. But there was no way she could think of to finish that sentence. It didn't matter that it was an accident. What to say, when you accidentally nearly kill your friend? Kirie didn't know. She supposed she'd have to figure it out pretty soon. This was their reality, after all.

"...blood... you said something about..."

"Yeah." said Kirie, her voice suddenly careful. She felt hesitant to explain this, even to Kaila. One of her most reckless decisions to date, taken out of desperation and before she knew the gravity of the trouble she was in, before she understood the Sith. But, after what had happened, Kirie knew she owed Kaila some sort of explanation. She gave a small sigh and went on, eyes firmly glued to the floor.

"When I was on Echnos, when the Kainites and the others came." said Kirie, her voice halting. "I got badly hurt, like-" Kirie gestured lamely. "Like you are now. There was a Sith woman who pulled me from the storm. I don't know her name, but I think you might have known her. She seemed like a guest." Rubbing her arm, Kirie managed to drag her eyes back to face Kaila. It took an effort, but she did her best to hold her gaze. "She gave me a glass of- of blood-" Thick, black blood. Noxious poison that had infested her nerves. "-To give me the strength to weather the storm, and to survive in the Sith." She sighed bitterly. "I was a fool and I took it."

Kirie continued, explaining how the blood had gradually made her senses sharper, made her muscles firmer and brimming with hidden strength, how it had haunted her with nightmares, the way she thought it was making her see things. The whole time, Kirie's tone was quiet and resigned. She had thought she had seen the worst of what that decision had wrought on her life. Apparently not, this surpassed pretty much everything else.

"Quinn said she thought she was a Sangnir."

Then there was Kirie's offer. She didn't want to make it. There were problems with her life here, but it was all that she had. Leaving would mean losing everything. She couldn't very well stay with Quinn and keep a promise to stay out of Kaila's way. But she would do that, if she had to, if that's what Kaila wanted. It was the least she could do, maybe for the best even, since it seemed she had turned into some sort of monster.

"...don't leave me alone like this."

Still, Kirie breathed out a sigh of relief at Kaila's words. It was hope. Not quite a path through this, but the suggestion that one might be found. It was a start, one Kirie didn't think she deserved, given the circumstances, but she'd take it.

"Okay." said Kirie. "I'll stay." All of Kaila's urgent wounds had been treated for the moment. There was plenty left to patch up, but it would be more comfortable for her just to rest a moment and let the medications and bacta kick in. Instead, Kirie shuffled over, taking a position braced against the wall next to Kaila, close enough that the young Sith could lean on her if she needed, but not touching. It occurred to her that she'd never seen Kaila weep before. She had always been so strong. "I'm here." she said, voice comforting but shaky, eyes shining brightly. "I'm here."

Kaila Irons ​

 

[Kaila Irons]

Wearing: Robes
Tag: Kirie

Sangnir.

Kaila had never heard the name before, but it didn't sound human. More importantly, it was a word associated with blood. There was only one woman on Echnos that day with an inclination for blood, and it was Adeline Noctua . She'd claimed feats of strength that always sounded as though more than a mere boast, the ability to snap even her neck was certainly one she recalled.

And she'd seen first hand what the master of dead Yalara drank at her table.

She, the assassin, and Alina, all monsters with inhuman strength, and fangs. Something in their blood must have caused this, or perhaps they too relied on the blood which had been shared with Kirie. But Darth Keres never shared a thing without payment, there was always a catch.

"The Sangnir is not to be trusted," she warned "the master of Yalara is one who works in debts."

Kaila would have to speak with her again, much as she had begun to dread her visits to that lifeless world.

"...but... you did what you must, to survive..."

"Okay." said Kirie. "I'll stay."

She watched the weikian shuffle closer, sitting against the same wall as her.

It felt strange to see her cry, much as it felt strange to cry before her when neither had been so vulnerable to the other before. Sometimes it felt as though the world kept them apart on purpose, always so near through their shared connection to Quinn, yet always they stood on opposites of the woman. The more she thought about it, the more it seemed that Kaila had been too afraid of upsetting that delicate balance to close that distance.

Now they were here.

And yet she'd become the only person other than Quinn to see her cry. It was a slow thing, like bleeding out on a battlefield. Drop by drop in utter silence, because even now, Anathemous fought back any sign of the human weakness she so clearly felt. But it was tiring, and so she found herself leaning into Kirie's shoulder.

"I'm here." she said, voice comforting but shaky, eyes shining brightly. "I'm here."

Finally she let her eyes close, squeezing out the droplets she'd been holding back.

She wanted to hear those words, and to believe them. To a degree she did, but Kaila needed to hear it herself.

"Please, tell me truthfully. Does this have anything to do with she and I...?"

"...I've worried for so long that I intruded upon a love I was not meant to."

"That deep down you only tolerated me." she sniffled.

"Or worse—"

​

 

[Kirie]

Seeing Kaila weep was awful, heartrending. But the words she spoke were worse. Their rawness, their vulnerability. They threatened to break them both.

"Please, tell me truthfully. Does this have anything to do with she and I...?"

"...I've worried for so long that I intruded upon a love I was not meant to."

"I don't carry any hate in my heart for you, Kaila." said Kirie earnestly. "You and I are-were-" Kirie trailed off, lip trembling, before eventually finding her composure again. "Blizzard-lemans. It's a Cephis term. Tongue-and-cheek I guess. Two people who survive a storm by warming each other."

Kirie wondered it she would be Kaila's blizzard-leman again. She wouldn't blame Kaila if this episode had permanently rendered her body unsuitable to provide warmth. Kirie hoped not, but she worried that some hurts, intended or otherwise, left a stain that wouldn't lift.

"That deep down you only tolerated me."
"Or worse—"

When Kirie had first met Anathemous, she had feared her. When she had learned of Kaila and her amorous connection to Quinn she had been swallowed by envy. After all, Kaila was everything Kirie wasn't. Strong yet kind, capable and decisive, able to protect her love. Kirie was none of that, and that had left her hopeless, at least until that night Kaila had removed her brand. With the understanding that she could indeed share a heart Kirie eventually convinced herself that she did deserve her place. She told herself she was different from the Sith, that she would not let this place change her. But Kirie had been wrong, and though she had felt herself slipping into some unexplainable dysfunction, she'd hidden it.

"I always liked you. Even when I envied you, worried you were a better suitor for her. Then, I realised that there was a place for us both, and after that night on Naboo I thought..." She paused. Even though Kaila had asked, it felt unfair to lay her feeling upon her after injuring her so. But if Kaila wanted to know, Kirie had a duty to tell her, to be open. After all it was the hiding and concealing that had led to this mess, as it always tended to. "Well, even before that night I'd wondered what it would be like."

There it was, her heart on a platter. If Kaila really wanted to give Kirie what she deserved, she need only pick it up and crush it in her hands. Then Kirie would be alone, but at least she'd know that justice had been served.

Kirie opened her palm, resting face up on her thigh. She wanted Kaila to hold her hand and tell her everything was going to be okay and that they were going to make this all better. But, she'd lost the right to that. It was Kirie who would have to be the source of comfort, to fix the damage she'd blindly wrought. Still, she wished Kaila would take her hand.

She was sick. It was fully dawning on her now. In her confidence that she was different, she had wilfully ignored the signs. A sickness of the soul that had left her changed for the worse. Kirie's gaze left Kaila for a brief moment, and she studied her reflection in a gilded mirror leaning against a nearby box, waiting to be packed. Sure enough, where her eyes had once been only dark and earthy, her chestnut coloured iris' were now flecked with tiny slivers of gold. Kirie turned away, hoping Kaila hadn't noticed it too.

"I care about you Kaila, and I've done something a-awful to you. I- I can't let something like this ever happen again."

Kaila Irons ​

 

[Kaila Irons]

Wearing: Robes
Tag: Kirie

"...Lemons don't grown in blizzards..." she tried to wave dismissively.

Instead her hand dropped tiredly at her side.

But as Kirie explained, it gave the half conscious Darth pause. The term may have been tongue-and-cheek, but the implications were enough to keep her awake despite the wooziness inflicted by those painkillers.

"I always liked you. Even when I envied you, worried you were a better suitor for her. Then, I realised that there was a place for us both, and after that night on Naboo I thought..." She paused. Even though Kaila had asked, it felt unfair to lay her feeling upon her after injuring her so. But if Kaila wanted to know, Kirie had a duty to tell her, to be open. After all it was the hiding and concealing that had led to this mess, as it always tended to. "Well, even before that night I'd wondered what it would be like."

Naboo...

That had been quite the night, one she suspected would not have happened had she not been drunk off her ass, else her own nerves would have stopped her from participating.

"I..." she glanced at Kirie, then anything but.

"When we first met on Echnos, I assumed the two of you were a couple... a cute couple... That's why it took me so long to realize she was flirting later." Kaila chuckled, or at least tried to.

"I was so frakking jealous of you two. How could I not be? you're both something out of a fairy tale: the handmaiden, and her princess. And I was, what, a failed rebel? a war criminal on a Kainite leash."

Kaila coughed, the very words seeming to sting her throat with shame and vestigial anger.

"Ironic that we shared such similar feelings."

She glanced up at Kirie again, calming herself.

"...perhaps more than once..."

It felt... so awful to share that now of all times, but clearly honesty was long overdue.

"I too grew curious. But I was... afraid... to risk complicating things between the three of us."

It had been a well known fact among the Kainites that Anathemous had been overly cautious, paranoid even. Though she oft seemed reckless now, perhaps she was in some ways still held back by her younger self.

"I care about you Kaila, and I've done something a-awful to you. I- I can't let something like this ever happen again."

Golden eyes looked up at her, wider than before.

She wanted to cry again, but for all new reasons. Realistically Kaila should have been angry, she would have been, were this anyone else beside her. But as she watched Kirie turn away, catching a glimpse of that round, sullen face, she just couldn't bring herself to be. Instead she sighed, and allowed her head to rest on the girl's shoulder.

"...as do I..." she admitted shakily and closed her eyes.

"It's why I pushed you to embrace violence. There are worse than bounty droids out there, and I thought I could make you stronger."

"In my arrogance, I couldn't see that you need to learn control, to restrain your own strength."

She took Kirie's hand then, weak as her grip may be.

"...I'm sorry too..."

​

 

[Kirie]

"...Lemons don't grown in blizzards..."

Despite everything, Kirie actually laughed softly at Kaila's comment. Either she had seriously misunderstood Kirie, or her drugs were starting to kick in. Both, probably, considering the halfhearted dull gesturing with her limp arm.

"No," Kirie said, stifling her giggle. "Not lemons, I mean..." She glanced up at Kaila's tired face, deciding that explaining Cephis' weird little aphorisms was more trouble than it was worth. "Nevermind."

Her smile faded as the conversation grew deeper, and she couldn't help but watch Kaila intently. Looking for any hint of reproach in her expression. Bizarrely, Kirie found none. Kaila was being raw, and genuine, and kind. Her words surprised Kirie, but when she reflected on them, they mind a kind of sense. And besides, why would Kaila lie, and how else could she make it seem so genuine?

Still, it was strange to think that Kaila would have been jealous of her. Kirie understood the appeal of the fairy tale, but the reality of it was that she was a loser, hopeless without the assistance of the Princess and friends who had taken pity on her. She opened her mouth to say as much, then clamped it shut again, realising both that her grim internal narrative wasn't all the way true, and it would only turn the conversation into a self-serving pity party.

Pull yourself together, Corsell. There are kind people here who care about you. Kaila included. Time to pay it back.

"You are strong." said Kirie. "And brave, and nice. You are not a failed anything, you are a Knight, a good, honourable person." Kirie looked at the floor. "And I like you too."

"In my arrogance, I couldn't see that you need to learn control, to restrain your own strength."

"...I'm sorry too..."

Kirie shook her head emphatically. She couldn't allow Kaila to take the blame for herself, not any of it.

"No." said Kirie. "How could you have known this would happen? I have been hiding what is wrong. It was an accident, but the fault is mine."

She caught the glint of yellow in the mirror again and shivered. Two paths stretched before her, both fading into fog. Follow one, she might hone this terrible raw hurt inside her, and unleash it with control, as Kaila said, to strip lives surgically, maybe even fighting beside her lovers. Take the other road, and she could give it up here, never discover how far that power inside could take her, but save herself from it's dark allure. Maybe whatever she chose, the reality would be different, after all Kirie had spectacularly failed to control her fate thus far.

Still, she couldn't shake the feeling she had reached a juncture, both in her relationship with Kaila, and her journey in the Sith.

"I don't want to be a Sith!" Kirie blurted out, clapping a hand over her mouth as if shocked the words were coming out, but she talked around her fingers, unable to stop herself. "I don't want to... Hurt people. N-not you, not anyone. Never again." Kirie covered her face with her hands. "I'm done." she said, resigned.

Kirie sighed. Kaila's medicines wouldn't have a chance to work if she kept her worked up. She needed rest, at least a few hours for her body to begin to heal, else she would just view the world through a fog until the meds wore off and she'd be blinded by pain again. Nobody wanted that.

"My room is still made up." said Kirie, getting to her feet. "You need to lie down. Think you can make it over if I support you?"

Kaila Irons ​

 

[Kaila Irons]

Wearing: Robes
Tag: Kirie

An honorable person? Kaila?

She would have liked to believe that, once. Now she was a traitor many times over, a murderer, assassin, beset on all sides by enemies of her own making. Though they may never know just how much she needed them, all she had in this world was Quinn, her sister, and Kirie.

Perhaps that is why she clung to them even now, broken as she was.

"I don't want to be a Sith!" Kirie blurted out, clapping a hand over her mouth as if shocked the words were coming out, but she talked around her fingers, unable to stop herself. "I don't want to... Hurt people. N-not you, not anyone. Never again."

She shed another tear on the girl's behalf, and for the little girl that was no longer with them.

"I... I don't pretend to understand the Anathema of peace," she began.

"...but I know the importance of choice..."

Kaila tried to sit upright, still holding Kirie's hand. Though it hurt to admit the these things, she tried so hard to hold eye contact, to show Kirie that she understood some things even still.

"...I did not choose to become Sith either... My memories were stolen, and when I awoke, I was made to fight or die."

"The Force puts us on these paths, writing our fates. I believed the dark side was how we free ourselves, but if you must fight fate by not fighting at all, I... I suppose you should do what you must."

She ran her hand over her aching scalp. This was all so confusing and the drugs worsened as much as they helped.

"My room is still made up." said Kirie, getting to her feet. "You need to lie down. Think you can make it over if I support you?"

"...perhaps..."

Kaila reached out, allowing herself to be pulled to her feet if need be. Unable to assist herself with the force, The young Darth was twice as heavy as she should've been, and yet Kirie could meet her with equally unnatural strength.

"Listen, Kirie, we may need time to think. But while I am recovering, I think it important that we become reacquainted, so we do not catch one another off guard again."

"I've always dreaded this separation we've faced."

​