The Jedi Path: Calder "Burr" Icehammer

[WolfMortum]

Yutan, Jedi Temple Outskirts.​

[member="Calder Icehammer"]​

0730.​

​

In the quiet of the morning hours Veiere Arenais had sought the peace of nature just aft of the Jedi Temple grounds. In his own time he often sought the privacy to fall into meditation or exercise, his way of exerting the stresses and larger concerns that came with the life of service to the Force as a Jedi. While many perceived the Jedi to be without feelings or somehow magically able to block them out completely, this refusal to acknowledge ones heart and mind could only detriment the individual, thus in their own time, most reserved themselves until a time that they could explore their emotions and doubts within the sanctity of the force, restraining themselves and seeking to give over all of their uncertainties to the quiet of their connection to life around them. This was at-least, Veiere's way of letting himself be heard, acknowledging the individual within him, the sentient mind and heart that flowed with feelings as much so as the next person in life, yet had found his center and way of dealing with these burdens whilst not affecting his duty out in the field, so to speak.

Today was one such morning. As Grandmaster of the Order there on Yutan he had a lot riding on his shoulders and beyond what he expressed to his students, he had spent years struggling with his convictions in the face of what had become of worlds like Atrisia and old war scars such as Deneba and Mimban. He understood well the pain of past council members he had argued with in his youth, to be responsible for bringing in new prospects to become Jedi and later find themselves in such conflicting places, to sacrifice any semblance of a life of civilian normality for the greater good, these were decisions they would come to make yet those that Veiere was required to encourage in all those with him now, and soon to come.

Seated upon a fallen tree, Veiere had spent near on a couple hours out here already before he had called upon that of Calder Icehammer. Burr was as unique as the rest of them there within the Temple though he too had his own way of standing out in his previous experience within the Galaxy. He was wise in his own ways and yet eager to further understand the Jedi Path that he sought to follow. Veiere didn't truly know how much knowledge he already possessed, having come from the Northern territories, there were plenty of Jedi in that area of the galactic map, many of whom Veiere himself had sought guidance from within the Silver Jedi Order during previous trials of his own personal conflicts. For the time being, he would wait and wonder patiently, curious and intrigued by the answers that he might find in Calder Icehammer, to what end did he wish to commit his future to the Jedi way.

 

[Viviana]

Was it wrong to make the Grandmaster wait? Calder wasn't sure, but again the older bear took his time getting to [member="Veiere Arenais"] , traveling through the forest to once again commune with the spirits there. Every chance he had gotten here he spent talking to the trees, grass, flowers, even the spirits of the animals around. It was not Jedi on how he viewed the Force, but even if he knew it all to be one and the same he couldn't just give up over a hundred years worth of habits.

Finally he would arrive before the elder human, Icehammer in hand as it always was, and bowed his head. "Apologies for the delay Master Arenais. The trees say such interesting things."

 

[WolfMortum]

Turning at the sound of [member="Calder Icehammer"]'s approach, Veiere smiled a little as the Beorni apologized for his late arrival. In truth Veiere had needed the time to air his thoughts to himself and he had arrived intentionally early to take up the opportunity; "Worry not, my friend, the break away has done me some good I must confess" he gave something of a lopsided smirk in humble truth. "The chill of the morning hours here I'd hoped would bring some ease for you, I realize the climate here has been a little difficult to grow accustomed to. The Temple itself should have more appropriate conditioning soon; Yutan has given me some trouble of late" despite the Systems Alliance's supposed support of the Order and the intent behind Commenor's finance of the reform, Yutan itself had done what it could to road-block their progress thus far, something he had kept to himself for concern of disappointing the others.

"How are you finding your time here with us?" Veiere studied the Bear with a sense of compassion in his consideration for the new found friend and fellow Jedi. All of those who had joined him within the Temple he had come to learn to relate to, to understand them on individual level. Though they might not realise this, it was as much an honor for Veiere that they had come to aid him in their cause, that it might be for them to learn and train as Jedi of the Order themselves. "We've not had much of a chance to talk without the company of the others. I know very little of your past experience though I'd very much like to offer you what support I can".

 

[Viviana]

"I am finding it rather nice. The Jedi share many ideals as my people do, and the transition has been rather simple. There is nothing the Order asks of me I did not already do, though I suppose my view on the Force is very different. The Beorni speak to it as spirits, embodiment of the wild itself." Slowly the elder being sat down, setting the icy hammer beside him gently. It froze the grass around it touched them, which didn't seem to bother Calder too much. "What of you? What is the Force to you?"

[member="Veiere Arenais"]

 

[WolfMortum]

Veiere had spent many an hour explaining to others the Jedi's teachings of the Force, the unbiased wholesome theory and ideology that they believed in as an Order and sought to share within restraint and discipline, yet few had ever really asked him what he himself believed in the Force from an individual point of view; Veiere had even gone so far to avoid elaborating on his beliefs for they differed from some of the Jedi that followed in the more factual evidence surrounding their path. "A good question and at the same time a very curious one, it's not often that I am asked this..." Veiere glanced back to [member="Calder Icehammer"] with a faint curl to the corner of his mouth, a half smirk both feeling priviledged to have had another consider his stance on the subject while too admiring their want to learn and expand upon their own horizons. "The Jedi have two broad theories surrounding the Force that they call 'The Unifying Force' and 'The Living Force'...-I suppose I am one to believe the Force encompasses both of these rather than prioritizing one over the other. I too am a man of spiritual faith in the Force. To me it is a guiding presence and one that holds a path for every life in the galaxy whether they feel their calling or otherwise. The Darkside, the Lightside, these are both aspects of the same coin that are not born to fight one another but are fueled by sentient conscience. People with selfish desire succumbing to the lure of power far easier than those of a higher morale compass...-A Theory that many others do not share. I believe there is good in everyone we come across, the Force connects us all, spanning the galaxy. The possibilities go well beyond what I have learned and experienced thus far, I will never hold all of the answers yet I believe that the distance between the Sith and the Jedi are a product of sentient design, not the will of the Force itself...." this was a bold statement, a difficult statement as he himself had lost his former enclave to the One Sith Empire yet it did not deter him from seeing the same aggression come from those without sensitivity to the Force, governments fighting similar wars with similar motives, the galaxy at large had the potential to do terrible things...Not simply the Sith and the Jedi certainly shared in their own flaws too. "My view has been formed by the things that I have witnessed. I've seen the aggression from those who call themselves Sith and I've fought in battles that have pegged the Jedi Order of the Galactic Alliance on the opposing side during the battle of Atrisia. I've worked along side Sith who have lacked the malice that the Galaxy believes is in them all and I've helped some seek redemption within themselves, returning to the 'light' as we often put it" his eyes drew back towards the forest, his gaze having become distanced as memories surfaced from the words that he spoke, a piece of his heart being put on display so soon after having spent time in meditation to acknowledge his more negative of feelings recently. A part of that vulnerability still present so soon after his self training.

"To ask me what the Force is to my perceptions is a bold question indeed, one that I cannot truly answer with the words to do it justice. Over time you may come to understand what I mean in this yet what I can tell you is that the Force has drawn me to look upon others not for the alignment they claim to follow but for the integrity that they show to hold. Words are often cheap but actions in the face of adversity have inspired history and a vast change in the way the Jedi Order is looked upon today; not all of it positive. Remember that in all things that you strive to do, walk with your head held high and put the good of others before yourself. I've made my share of mistakes Calder...-So will you, but compassion and integrity I believe is at the core of the Jedi Path and with these things in check, I would say you would be walking the right direction..." his voice trailed off, he had veered somewhat off topic yet Calder had inspired Veiere's concern and want to encourage the Beorni in what he believed to be words of a just cause. If possible he would do all he could for the Knight to avoid travelling the same long hard road that Veiere had walked bringing the two of them to the main reason as to why Veiere had called for his company.

"Tell me something Calder. You have some experience already, more so than our younger ones. What would you say were I to offer you a personal mentor-ship...-To see you through to conclude your training, enough so that you need only the guidance and experience of the Force, walking the path from there onward as a Jedi Knight. One that would then seek to teach the others as I have done thus far".

 

[Viviana]

Calder would nod along slowly as [member="Veiere Arenais"] spoke, listening and understanding. The path of Light was a hard and treacherous one. Easily lost, hard to find again. The Beorni lowered his head as he thought back to his actions prior to coming to this order. Icehammer was his name, earned from the violence in the Netherworld. Violence that had never truly left him. It waited for the opportunity to rear it's ugly head in battle once more, battle that came from the Sith.

Sith he still couldn't help but hate.

"I am honored, master," The Beorni began, lifting his head up to look once again at Veiere. "But my heart is still full of turmoil. Full of hate. Even the name of Sith angers me to the point of wanting to break something, and seeing one may send me into a blind rage. I have no doubt you would be a good teacher, but I fear that I might not be a good student. I am not turning down the offer, being a Jedi is something I want and need, but I do hope I do not fail."

 

[WolfMortum]

[member="Calder Icehammer"] doubted himself as a prospective Jedi. Frankly, Veiere was glad, over-confidence would have led to arrogance yet uncertainty could aspire to greater success had he the ambition to rise to the challenge. "All Jedi struggle with their path and never does the path of a Jedi cease to challenge them, Calder" Veiere offered something of a wary smile, seeking to reassure him yet knowing too the truth in the statement. "I myself have often struggled. This life is a constant battle towards doing good in a Galaxy where the immoral way could be so much easier". Forever on the defense of others, forever making sacrifices to protect the people from those that sought to strike out in violent pursuit of their own accord, the Jedi path was a long and arduous one, one not for the family man but for those willing to give everything to seek a higher moral purpose, to care for others and to listen to the Will of the Force first and foremost before their doubts. "Faith is a great part of why the Jedi are the way they are. Faith to do right by the Force. Faith that we are serving to protect not only the people but to understand and commune with the Force itself, something that is far larger than we are...-Too large to come to Master in one lifetime, if at all..." he chuckled softly; for whatever claim others might have had, no one person could truly know the mysteries of the Force without having first passed on to it from this life.

"You will be challenged" Veiere turned back to Calder, "Perhaps more than you have felt in the past as you work towards this future. Our subconscious desires often go against our faith and test the limits for what we allow in ourselves. You will make mistakes but you won't be alone and in every mistake made you will find an opportunity to learn and grow as a member of this Order" for a moment Veiere paused before adding thoughtfully, "What you come to learn from these times, I would ask that you pass on to the other students". One man, one perspective teaching a group of students meant to be the future of the Jedi Order there, it was a challenging task and one that Veiere too found himself wary about. Like Burr, he too was capable of mistakes and the potential to lead these people astray concerned him greatly. Perhaps this was the isolation that Luke Skywalker may have felt and battled with so many generations ago, only without the remnants of a dream having been shattered by the Sith and blinded by the intolerance of different backgrounds and opinions. "Over time here, I think we've all got a great deal of learning and growth to accomplish together. Just remember Calder, the Force is with us. It is we that doubt the Force, not the other way around".

 

[Viviana]

"I have lived my life by the Spirits; the Force, and I don't intend to change that any day soon. If you think it is wise to teach me yourself so I may become a Jedi Knight, I accept. You have given me no reason to not trust you after all." The large bear gave a grin, if it could be called that. A lot of teeth were shown at least. The smile faded though as he pushed himself to a standing position again, pulling up the hammer that had frozen the snow around it.

"Where do we begin?"

[member="Veiere Arenais"]

 

[WolfMortum]

"Meditation" Veiere responded rather simply, "It is the door to which all progress will follow. This will be an important task for both your personal restraint as well as growth within the Force and all that it can offer". Veiere soon shifted back, lifting the souls of his boots from the ground floor and crossing his legs as he remained seated, now evenly balanced atop the fallen tree trunk. Placing his hands atop each knee, his arms a loose weight upon his lap, he inhaled slowly through his nose, holding the breath a moment before exhaling out through his mouth, lips parted only slightly to ensure his breathing slowly passed than one might consider typical. In this simple act however, he did so as an example of what the Beorni might come to repeat much in his future...-Though perhaps his posture might differ given the bears rather behemoth size.

"In the beginning we focus on our breathing, pacing ourselves and surrendering ourselves to the quiet of our chosen place in meditation. You will want to choose a place of comfort, somewhere not so warm would be an obvious plus for you. The goal being to lessen outside distractions as obtaining a trace as strong as Jedi are known to enter takes time and practice; only made difficult in the face of outside concerns or personal priorities", Meditation was an art that many people took for granted, remaining seated or stood stationary, seeking to close oneself off from their immediate surroundings. It took a great deal of concentration and perseverance in order to quiet the conscious mind, to shrug away the things that tugged at the heart strings for the sake of peace and quiet in ones own presence. It was only after accomplishing such a feat that they were able to look away from themselves, to open the subconscious and reach out to the Force around them, learning to draw in upon it and reinvigorate the life-stream within them, their connection to the Force growing as they discovered what it meant to them.

"This is the practice that I use when I am most at conflict with myself and my emotions. I'm not sure how the spirits speak to you but within meditation you will learn how to surrender these feelings to the Force and come away from the light feeling much more relaxed".

[member="Calder Icehammer"]

 

[Viviana]

There was another grin from the bear as he sat back down, this time with his hammer in his lap. "In truth I have not meditated with the spirits for such a long time. After the Netherworld, I stopped. It will be.. Nice to clear my mind again." His eyes closed and he took a deep breath. Despite having done this before, he found himself struggling to clear his mind. Images of the hell he had gone through and the anger he felt through the Sith clouded. His discomfort would be easily felt through the Force, and his brow furrowed.

"How do you.. Surrender your emotions to the Force?"

 

[WolfMortum]

"With great patience and practice, my friend" Veiere grinned in response, soon dipping his gaze as he thought on the best way to describe his process on venting his negative or more passionate of emotions; "The first step is recognizing your emotional vulnerabilities and being able to poise and reserve yourself in those moments to carry on with your objective or immediate goal in mind. A Jedi's trials are often stressful yet our reason can never be clear while we subject ourselves so. Later, when I have the privacy and freedom to do so without effecting others around me, I meditate and reflect back on those moments. Surrounded in the Force I encourage those feelings to surface where they can be acknowledged and surrendered to the force, what I call venting while pacing myself within the flow of life around me...".

Like feeding into his memories and visualizing them with the added concentration and depth of a meditative state enveloped within the force, with his mind cleared and everything outside of himself blocked out, those memories would eventually surface as if he were there reliving the moment, feeling the emotions that he had buried for whatever purpose, only to deal with later on. "Bottling our emotions is self destructive and though the Jedi Order were once known for doing this, they often found their people becoming conflicted and falling into emotional trials that could have otherwise been avoided. If you're able to come to terms with who and more importantly what you are within the natural cycle of life and the Force, you can seek to better understand what triggers these vulnerabilities and learn to better protect yourself against your own shortfalls to deal with them later when the lives of others are not on the line or affected by your actions so immediately".

[member="Calder Icehammer"]

 

[Viviana]

Calder nodded slow as [member="Veiere Arenais"] spoke, doing his best to take the words to heart. Once he knew how to surrender himself, to live in peace. But as he closed his eyes again the image of Death flashed before him. The Sith Lord who had beaten him and almost brought his life to an end. Who set fire to his planet. Hate flooded his mind, and he tried to control it, to prevent it from growing anymore. Instead it grew, his face slowly falling to the rage building within. All he wanted to do was bash that mans head in once and for all, end the threat to his people. To him.

"I cannot let it go. That man, that Sith," He spat out venomously, "Was going to butcher my people, and I couldn't stop him. I faced Hell and failed to protect everyone, but against him I couldn't do anything. Protect anyone. I.." The tension faded as a wave of sadness washed over him. The Beorni slowly opened his eyes as he looked down at his hands. Massive compared to many in the galaxy, strong to even more, yet they couldn't do what he felt was needed. "I was helpless."

 

[WolfMortum]

"You maintained your integrity and faith within the Force which is more than I can say for myself..." Veiere responded, the beginning of an admission that he'd yet to share with any but his wife until now. The fact was that he could relate to some fair extent as to what [member="Calder Icehammer"] was speaking of, that loss and the guilt of failure, the anger and want for vengeance; in the face of such tension, even the strongest and most dedicated of Jedi would struggle...-As had Veiere.

"When I met my Wife, I was alone on the Planet Alzoc Three. It was a place of self exile within the southern regions of space. The Jedi Order had once held an Enclave upon Svivren before the great schism that fractured them in bias and personal pursuits. That enclave was my home, raised from infancy and taught the path of the Jedi. I came to look upon my peers as family and though I knew the warnings of attachment, my love and admiration for that family grew ever stronger as I grew older. Later I would take on a Padawan, a young and competitive boy but deep down he had a good heart and his want for the galaxy was virtuous...", his thoughts moved away from [member="Lady Kay"] to Brennan Cabrol, the faces of the people he knew behind them both in the background of his subconscious, that longing and livelihood still able to invoke his emotional side in the privacy of his own time yet here, he did his utmost not to show it other than the sentimentality within his voice.

"During the rise of the One Sith, the core-worlds called for support from the more isolated enclaves, gathering Jedi from across the Galactic Map in preparation of the war to come. The Circle on Svivren declined, due to our limited numbers, they felt we would be left vulnerable yet I and some of my peers, Knights and Masters at the time felt so strongly about going that we disobeyed their instructions..." Veiere had been far younger back then, far more impulsive, reckless even to go against the bidding of the Council. "My Padawan, I would not bring with me. I wanted not to risk his life for a crusade that I myself was uncertain that I would return. We left, and sought to stop the Sith Empire from becoming what would later be the growing power in the Galaxy...-We failed and was forced to return, only to find Svivren under attack by those we had hoped to step out to meet further north. My brothers and I rushed to defend the Enclave but it was already burning..." He didn't go into further detail, his eyes glancing away from Calder as he took a moment of silence to acknowledge the loss, soon turning back, "In our grief, we lost our way. Our attempt to defend our home soon turned to our need to avenge the fallen. Those of the Sith that remained, we took to battle and those that survived, were executed...".

Cold blooded murder, justified by the fallen bodies of men, women and children alike. Veiere knew well the risk of Jedi turning militant, the Dark Side of the Force shrouded to such a taste for power over others no matter the good intentions one might have behind it all, such was the reason he was so hesitant to enter into battle now. Such was one of the reasons he was so dedicated to the Order, a pacifist and one who would sooner offer retribution and the path of redemption than to take a life. Never again, he had told himself back then...

"I know what follows that passion you have inside of you Calder and it is not a road you wish to go down. It's far too dangerous, to yourself and those around you...-I urge you to believe me when I suggest you seek to come to terms with your past, acknowledge and honor your people but don't fall to that level...-I sought exile for over a decade before I met Kay...-So easily could that chance have slipped me by and I have had remained on that frozen world...".

 

[Viviana]

Calder listened to [member="Veiere Arenais"] in silence, contemplating what was said. It was an interesting light to see the Grandmaster in, to see another in such a high place in the Jedi with similar problems. With a sigh he closed his eyes and once again let his mind drift. His emotions came back to the forefront of his mind, the image of the Sith Lord who had beat him like a cub. He felt anger, he felt hate. But as the master advised, he would not let it lead down his path.

The actions had already been done. There was no changing the past, no point on dwelling on it. He was here, at the Jedi temple, not there among the Sith. His focus needed to be here. With another deep sigh he simply let them go. There was no going back, and to continue forward he needed to trust in the Force. Evil would not win, so long as it was not met with more evil. The hate he felt melted away as his furrowed brow released and a sensation of peace fell over.

Once more he could hear the song of the spirits around him, and he was happy.

 

[WolfMortum]

"Might I ask you a question, [member="Calder Icehammer"]" Veiere spoke the Beorni's full name with an apprehensive smile before moving on to elaborate regardless of the white giant's possible want for elsewise; "Why do you wish to be among the Jedi?" the bear's experience was vast in comparison with the rest of the students, he was a warrior it was not difficult to see and yet he attended lessons with a want to learn, held himself at their level where his life had likely seen him face greater challenges than his younger peers. Veiere was most curious about what he hoped to gain from being with the Jedi Order. He wondered if the teachings were something that the Beorni would want to follow, especially here so far from the north. There was a presence to the greater male that buried down was a warming desire to protect, Veiere felt, yet it was hidden by the Beorni's history, victimized by aggressors of oppression.

"You carry with you, an axe that could cleave a man in two. You wield as if you've done so on many an occasion. Don't misunderstand, I'm not judging you.." he brought his hands up as if to apologize pre-emptively yet continued to speak, "But you don't seem nearly as inexperienced as the others. "What do you know of the Order? How much experience have you had with the Jedi before...-Tell me a bit more about yourself, I'd like to understand what drives you and perhaps then we can find a path that best suits a character of your stature...".

Truthfully, Veiere didn't quite know how to approach this one compared to the others. It wasn't the Beorni's height or age, anyone could be taught had they the mind and desire to do so but Calder didn't seem the theoretical type. He struck Veiere as a being that learned better from experience, the moment then and there. With such experiences behind him, Veiere too wondered what others could gain from his learnings at the same time...

 

[Viviana]

"It is only a hammer my friend. I dare not wield an edge with a galaxy filled with as many small folk as you." There was a hint of humor from Calder, but the topic wasn't the best. He had killed before, and would not hesitate to do so again if he had to. It was the question about his want to be a Jedi that caused him to once again open his eyes to look at the Grandmaster.

"The Nether event affected everyone. I was one of many of my tribe to end up in that blasted hell. There I fought without the aid of the Force to protect my brothers and the young cubs that too had been dragged there." He fell silent for a moment, as if remembering. "Not many survived, and if it wasn't for the Jedi Master who had wandered upon us many more would have been dead. He died protecting the young along side my people, and his selflessness inspired me to find you. I want to do for others what he did for me and my people."

 

[WolfMortum]

"Hm...-I see" Veiere nodded thoughtfully, he had heard of the netherworld before, among one of his lessons to the younger students within the Order. The youth often loved to chat about topics that were at times a little more controversial and meant for discretion rather than the open and innocent nature of blurting out every thought upon instinct. "I was within Exile on Alzoc Three at the time. You would have liked it there, a frozen wasteland, the temperature would have suited you...-None the less, I did not fall victim to the nether. I'm sorry that you had to experience it...".

It was not all negative however as [member="Calder Icehammer"] had touched on his desire to help and protect others, the way of the Guardian was the first thought that consequently came to mind. "You've got intimidating strength of character, I can see you being a firm shield between the innocent and those who would do them wrong. The Path of the Jedi Guardian would indeed suit you, though your aggression you must seek to keep tempered and discipline yourself with regards to others. Violence is not the Jedi way and we seek only to enter into combat at the defense of others and as the last possible option should we be forced into confrontation by those who would seek to do the Order harm...".

"Compassion and respect, tolerance and understanding. The Integrity that we strive to uphold come from the very attributes of the Jedi Code; this being what I want you to study closely over your coming days. For years you will come to form various opinions on the Code, mastering it only when you have mastered the faults of your own" something that was impossible as far as Veiere was concerned. Even he struggled to forever uphold the integrity of the Code given those that sought to insult, threaten and harm him, his Order or his family. Frustrations and mistakes were a part of sentient life but the emphasis lay strongly in the effort and intent to forever try to rise above these hurdles. After all, if not for the attempt, never would they see the results of their hard fought efforts.

"You will take a Padawan. This is no longer a request but an instruction. Through them you will learn to soften your heart and steady your mind while seeking to instruct them in the ways of the Force and of the Jedi Path. You will learn to care and become responsible for them and through that, you will strive to better yourself as you seek out their better interests and needs...-Are we in agreement?".

 

[Viviana]

A brow raised on Calder's face as [member="Veiere Arenais"] spoke. It was a quick turn from the casual conversation they were having and caught him by surprise for only a moment. The brow slowly settled as a smile formed in it's place and he bowed his head. "Very well Grandmaster, I shall train a Padawan in the ways of the Jedi, and through them learn what that means." Much of what made a Jedi the Beorni followed on their own, which was a major reason that he had gotten along with the Jedi in the Nether. It would be almost easy for him to adopt their lifestyle.

But the inner conflict still raging within Calder would never truly fade. The desire to punish the Sith for their treachery must be tempered with a desire to peace. To fight them when a chance for peace existed would only strengthen them. Calder would none the less pursue this path. "Where do I, uh. Find a Padawan?"