The Comforts of Home

[Kurt Meyer]

The Messa
[member="Kaileann Vera"]

"I don't know, mom." Kurt said quietly into the receiver, his lips thinning as he took in a deep breath. "I just don't know."

He tried to keep quiet as much as he could, his face etched with lines of despair and desperation.

It had been only a day since Kaile's injuries on Bimmisaari, the wounds she'd sustained there and what she'd lost still weighing heavily on her. Kurt's own hand was still injured of course, but the pain of it was almost completely and entirely forgotten in the face of what his best friend was going through. He had managed to get them off of the planet, fearing that the Imperials would soon be visiting in full force. Luckily they had managed to escape any such thing but now Kurt had no idea what else to do.

So he'd done what anyone else would, called his parents.

First he'd woken Kaile up in the refresher of course, pulled her up and gently got her to her bed. He'd left tea at her side and a small bit of toast, though he knew that she likely wouldn't touch either. After that he'd stayed besides the door of her bedroom, waiting, listening, checking now and again to see if she was asleep. It was a torturous kind of pain, knowing someone so close was in so much pain.

Kurt frowned slightly and shook his head.

"Come on home, we'll take care of you both."

His mother spoke softly and Kurt nodded. He didn't know what else to do. Kaile was as much his family as anyone else, and right now...right now he didn't know where else to turn. Tatooine was home, his mother and father were there, the food was better, and the medical center set up by Arceneau Trade could check on Kaile. It was his best move, the only one that he could actually think of. "Alright."

Kurt said quietly. "I'll talk to you in a bit."

He said goodbye and shut off the terminal, taking a deep breath and standing up from his chair. He let the air free from his lungs, then slowly made his way into The Messa's kitchen before heading towards Kaile's room.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

Bobo tiny little body was curled up alongside Kaile’s neck. She felt his tiny little heart beat there, his normally cool skin warmed by her own. He was doing the best he could, which was to be as comforting as possible. Anyone who would say that a lizard had no dealings never met Bobo. He had enough personality and sentiment in his tiny clawed paw than most humans ever could.

On her side, the Lorrdian was smothered in a tunnel of blankets. Strands of strawberry blonde hair would poke out from the tiny area where she had enough room to breathe. Eyes shut and puffy of face, Kaile lay there quietly. Almost too still for the normally bubbly agent.

This was worse than seven months back. Far worse. There were no words no method of explaining the sort of pain that just went lancing through her body. She felt sick. She felt nauseous. The tea had long since gone cold and her toast remained untouched.

Grief had its process. It’s methods and ways of displaying itself. For Kaile, there was just no means of her to be able to properly process it right now. All she wanted to do was sleep. Sleep it all away. Otherwise all she did was just weep away just about all the water her body had to give. Until tears were no longer riddled in salt and she couldn't cry anymore. Until the act of breathing hurt.

Holding a small datapad with a datastick of astronautical maps and a hidden music playlist, Kaile shuddered, making herself as small as humanly possible.

A small shuffle and Bobo gave her ear a little lick. Curling back down, he snuggled close.

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

The last few steps were the hardest.

The kitchen was easy to cross, the living room got harder, the hot tub...almost impossible. It was the last few that really killed him though, that small space between the cargo-hold and the door that lead to Kaile's room. He found it hard to breath, the thought of talking to Kaile...of seeing the look in her eyes. It was almost unthinkable that his once bubbly and happy friend was reduced to something like this. It hurt him to see her like that, more to know that he wasn't able to do anything about it.

He was just a fool, he was trying his best but he knew that it just wasn't enough.

The Courier lingered for a moment in the small doorway that would lead to the space between Kaile's room, considering if it might not just be better to leave her alone. Kurt curled his fingers for a moment and then shook his head. Kaile was his friend, his best friend...maybe his only friend besides Jamie. He couldn't leave her alone, he couldn't let her suffer alone. Nor could he just do something without telling her.

He thought going to Tatooine was for the best, but he couldn't just take her there without at least telling her.

Slowly Kurt took another step forward, taking a breath, steeling himself. He had to be strong, strong for her. His fingers curled again and slowly he moved towards the doorway of Kaile's bedroom, not entering but instead standing on front of the beads and knocking on the side of the doorway. "Kaile?"

His voice was soft, just loud enough to hear over the thrum of the engines.

"Can I come in?" Kurt knew it was best to ask.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

Kaile heard the knock, listened to the query from Kurt. His voice was quiet, as if almost afraid to be too loud. As if an octave higher would break the Lorrdian's eardrums. He was treating her as if she were made of Corellian glass. Easily broken. That was the problem. Kaile already was.

While she knew that Kurt had some good intentions, right now all Kaile wanted to do was close her eyes. Close her eyes and just sleep it all away. She wanted the oblivion that the abyss of sleep gave, even if it was an illusion. Even if the woman knew perfectly well that once her lids fell open, the white-hot lash of anguish would return. The tears would follow, and exhaustion would leave her a quivering mess of a mere shadow of her former self.

Kaile knew it, and right now she didn't care.

The Lorrdian didn't say anything, she just kept her eyes close. Kurt deserved an answer but right now... right now she just wanted to be alone.

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

Kurt stood quietly at the door.

Kaile didn't say anything, but...did that mean she didn't want him to come in or did it mean she was asleep? He frowned for a moment, simply standing there, staring at the cold metal door. He placed his hand gently against it and decided that even if she didn't answer...he had to say something.

"I..." The Courier began slowly. "I..."

What the hell was he supposed to do? Say? "I've put us on a course for Tatooine."

It wasn't something that would make Kaile feel better, it wasn't some magical cure, but it was the best course of action that Kurt could think of right now. He knew there was nothing that would make his best friend return to normal, return to the way she was, but he needed something.

"We'll get better food, there's a medical center..." He trailed off. "I think it'll be best if we go there."

Would she hate him?

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

Tatooine?

Thin, veiny lids drew open to thin slits under the bundle of blankets. Tatooine? In her mind she was still going over how she had left them last. Her stomach gave a flip flop. Did they have to? Anxiety rose and the Lorrdian wasn't sure what to do. it was Kurt's home. His parents were there. She had no right to tell him otherwise.

Nor the energy to argue.

Lungs took in a deep breath, filling them with a painful ache. Bobo's scratchy tongue once again came out to give her throat a quick, comforting lick.

There wasn't much to be done. Nothing really that Kurt could do. Grief had a way of taking over a person's life. Kaile was reeling from it.

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

When no answer came Kurt grew nervous.

He wasn't sure if he was making the right decision, wasn't sure if it was what Kaile wanted. He knew that last time she hadn't exactly left in the best of ways but...his parents didn't care about that. They knew that Kaile was his friend, they knew what had happened, they just wanted the best for him and people he was close to.

In truth it was the only option that he could think of. The Courier had tried to stay calm over the last few days, he'd tried to be strong for her but...he was panicking. Everything seemed to be turned upside down, he had never been equipped to handle Kaile's pregnancy, and now that she'd lost the baby? Everything had somehow gotten even worse. Kurt just wasn't sure what to do. He needed help, guidance, and the only people that could offer him that were his parents.

A sigh escaped him. "If..."

What was he going to say? What could he say?

"If you need anything I'll be here, okay?" Doing what he had no idea. The trip to Tatooine would take them a day or two even with the hyperdrive chugging at full speed. In that time he just had to do his best to keep himself, and Kaile together. "I'm going to leave some food and tea by your door...you don't have to come out if you don't want to."

It was a quiet offer, and Kurt hoped Kaile would take it.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

There was no food nor drink that would provide even a modicum of satisfaction. The body could oft reflect the emotions that one felt and none were as prevalent as with a Lorrdian. It was a shame that such a tragedy took root, but st times there could be no rhyme or reason for it. No explaination. This didn't stop Kaile from blaming herself in one way or another.

The next two days of travel were one of the most silent the Messa ever had. Gone were the upbeat songs Kaile would sing along to. The scent of food cooking no longer lingering throughout the tiny ship. Kaile didn't eat and barely touched her tea. She didn't leave her room save to go to the refresher from time to time. Much like when she had left Kurt the first time, the young woman was pale, eyes dark circles not due to lack of sleep but emotional. exhaustion.

There would be a surprise at Kurt's arrival to Tatooine; an increase in the Galactic Empire ships and patrols.

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

As they entered space around Tatooine Kurt couldn't really help but scowl. They had been trying to get away from the Empire but it seemed they'd run smack into them.

He'd first received the holocall asking for ID few days ago, and thankfully the Messa was still registered as a Courier ship for Sif Shipping. The Empire was on pretty decent terms given that the company had aided in thr construction of the Empires flagship. It was a lucky break, one that Kurt was more than happy to have at a time like this. Still, as soon as they dropped out of hyperspace hr expected to see half a dozen star destroyers hovering over his home world.

When none were to be found he let out a sigh of relief.

Tatooine wasnt important enough to merit an occupation. His home had no real great cities or settlements. The Empire was better off putting its resources in the war to the galactic north. He frowned slightly, thinking of all those people caught up in a situation they couldn't run away from. He let out a sigh and reached towards the intercom. ”We're about to land. I'm going to bring us close to the farm.”

He didn't want to make Kaile trudge through the desert in her state, not now.

With a sigh Kurt turned the controls, slowly easing The Messa in Tatooines atmosphere.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

Bobo had barely left her side save to crawl back to the fruit tree to sink his claws in for more nutrition. Kaile on the other hand, had a tangled mess of hair, pale skin, and was practically living out of her sea of blankets on the bed. Every now and then she would play music, but it honestly only served to further the heartbreak. Tears had long since dried on her pillow, and there were dark purple creasents under her eyes.

All semblance of life seemed to have faded away from her. It was understandable why Kurt was fretful. Yet what could he do? Time, they say, is the best healing agent, but this sort of heartache likely would never truly heal. Kalie wasn't sure if she even wanted to.

There was a higher amount of traffic control in Tatooine airspace. It wasn't just Arceneau Trade but from the lingering Imperial forces as well. Nothing seemed to drastically change; the Trade Queen was anything but vocal when it came to any slight that might come her way. Perhaps this was intended? Who knew. Kurt likely didn't really want to bother with it as much as heading off to the farm.

It was early in the morning, the twin suns acending into the sky, their heat not quite worse for wear.

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

Kurt slipped past the Imperials as fast as he could.

He didn't want any trouble with their kind, especially now. Neither he nor Kaile had ever fought The Empire, as far as he was aware anyway, and he didn't intend to start doing so now. Sure the Alliance was technically against them, but as far as The Courier was concerned that was none of his business at the moment. So instead of concerning himself with that he simply slipped onto Tatooine with only a short conversation with Imperial patrols.

The ships being there made him uneasy, it wasn't like it had been when he was a kid, but The Empire wasnt the first galactic government to try and exert some control over his home world. He only thanked the force that he didn't live on Coruscant or something more important.

Even with the slight delay they made good time, and within just a few minutes The Messa began to duck beneath the scant clouds of Tatooine. He took the vessel low, as he always did when coming home. A small sense of satisfaction came to him when he saw the cresting dunes rise from the desert. It wasnt the same relief that he always felt when coming home, but it was a sense of ease that filled his bones.

They were safe here.

Both him and Kaile.

With another deep breath he gently banked the Messa to the left, skirting around the great desert sea until eventually a large outcropping of a building began to show on the flat Horizon. He brought the ship down to a slow crawl, stopping them only a few meters away from his parents farm.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

The landing struts of the Messa slowly would unfold from under the bright red belly of the tramp freighter. Engines ran smoothly, even under the blowing of grains of sand that flew across the Messa as it descended upon an open area Kurt had previously used as his makeshift landing pad.

Two figures came walking out from the underground stairwell, crossing the pourstone arch. Kurts mother held her hand up over her face, blocking away the rays of the sun, eyes squinting as she would peer up along with Kurt's father at the ship. Both were concerned over Kurt's fretful state, a bit uncertain what to do exactly. All they did know is that their son and his best friend required support and a place to rest. They would be able ot find that here.

The hum of the engines soon would fade, Kurt cutting off power and going through post flight procedures. In her cabin, Kaile simply lay under her blankets, tuffs of strawberry blonde hair barely visible over the swaddling of the sheets.

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

Kurt spotted his parents stepping out of the farm through the cockpit window, his eyes fixed on them for a moment as his lips thinned. Briefly he considered going to them first...but he knew that wasnt the way to do this. He had to talk to Kaile, ask her to come out and not leave her any surprises that she might not be ready to take.

With a sigh Kurt unbuckled himself and pulled his body out of the deep pilots chair, vaulting through the cockpit and sliding down the ladder with an odd listless grace.

He practically fell onto the cargo bay doors, a loud metallic think ringing out within the bay just a few seconds after he landed. Another sigh escaped him as he pulled the lever to open the bay doors, then slowly he glanced towards Kailes room. He knew getting her to go anywhere would be hard, but...he at the very least needed to try. With slow measured steps he headed towards her door.

”Kaile.” His voice came a few seconds before two soft taps of his knuckles on the door.

Was she asleep? Or just dead to the world.

The latter thought made Kurt shiver, the idea of his once cheerful friend wrapped in the throes of depression making him uncomfortable as he'd ever been in his entire life.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

Kaile was asleep. However, even if she had been awake the Lorrdian wouldnt have felt particularly sociable. It was an all about awkward situation and there was no helping it. For now, she slept. Perhaps it would best to let her wander out in her own time. The woman still felt a bit out of sorts from the first time she'd visited and then mpromptu method she had left.

Silence was Kurt's answer, tragic silence.

Outside, Kurt's mother's expression twisted into one of concern.

"How do you think things are going?" Kurt had seemed so confused and lost. It worried her.

"DOn't know but I'm sure Kurt will tell us."

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

Kurt slid the door open the barest amount that it would, his gaze slipping through to find Kaile still curled up on the bed. He would not have done it had they talked at all upon the journey, but given that Kaile had said not a single word he'd grown worried. For a moment the Courier said nothing, only watched the bundle of blankets for a few moments. His breath caught and he moved to step forward, then he spotted the soft rising and falling of the blankets.

He frowned, then slowly slid the door back closed.

There was nothing he could really do for Kaile, he knew that, but if she was asleep now then it was best to let her stay that way. Waking her up would only put her back into that same miserable place and perhaps for once she was having pleasant dreams. It was a wishful thought, but...well Kurt was allowed those every now and again. The Courier turned away from his friends door and headed towards the ramp, his lips thinning as he approached it.

"Mom?" He called out. "Dad?"

He found his parents waiting just beyond the ship, the young man closing the distance between the two of them in quick hurried steps.

Kurt wrapped his arms around his parents, taking in a deep breath. "I have no idea what to do."

The words came out as he embraced his mother, the stout woman letting out a haggard breath of her own and wrapping tightly around Kurt. He had told her what had happened, none of the details, but enough for her to know. She petted Kurt's hair and his father slowly looked down at the both of them.

"It'll be alright, son. You're both home now."

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

Bobo gave a slight start. The tiny Lizard's right black, beady eye gave a slow blink. Tiny jaws pulled back, a deep yawn opening his mouth as he stirred from his slumber. He was warm pressed right against the curve of Kaile's neck, the flutter of her heartbeat a low steady beat. After a few seconds, the miniature Ysalamir gave a scurry up and around Kailes shoulder. His head gave a brief can't to the right. There was no hum of the engines.

Where were they?

Tiny little claws went crawling along to the top of kailes head. Did they land?

Perhaps.

Back at the homestead, Kurt's mother set a glass of water in front of her son. "Would you like something to eat?"

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

”No” Kurt said with a quiet shake of the head.

He'd eaten of course over the last few days and always had given Kaile a small share of what he'd made. A few times he had found the food left in front of her door gone, though other times it had clearly just been left to sit. His appetite wasnt much though, especially considering everything that had happened.

Not to mention Kaile was still stuck in her room.

”I just…” He trailed off quietly, speaking in a near hush. ”I just want everything to be okay.”

He sounded desperate, a hand coming down on his shoulder a second later.

“It won't be.”

The words came from his mother, driving into him like a stake through the heart. Kurt winced physically, looking up at his mom with an almost desperate plea to his eyes. He wasnt quite sure how he should respond to her, how he COULD respond to her at all. He searched for something, some statement or small gleam of hope.

His mother just looked at him over.

“Time will bring her around...but its not easy. She's lost something you can't even imagine Kurt. It will take time...and even then she might never be the same person again.”

The thought made his stomach drop.