Approved Tech The Blade of Ya'iri

[Sena]

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

• Intent: Sena's personable saber, passed down to her from her late master, Ya'iri.
• Image Source: Here
• Canon Link: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Lightsaber
• Restricted Missions: N/A
• Primary Source: N/A

PRODUCTION INFORMATION

• Manufacturer: Unknown, a very old blade
• Model: N/A
• Affiliation: Sena
• Modularity: Standard saber modularity
• Production: Unique
• Material: Standard saber materials, durasteel, kyber crystal, pure gold plating (for show)

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS

• Classification: Lightsaber
• Size: One-handed
• Length: 28cm for the hilt, 91cm for the blade/standard blade size
• Weight: 0.45 kg / 1 pound

SPECIAL FEATURES

• Designed to be less flashy than normal sabers, the hilt can be hidden more easily than most with its blackened features.

Strengths:

• Standard saber strengths aka, cut things and blocks stuff

Weaknesses:

• Unable to activate under water
• Shines bright in the dark, especially with the blade being white

DESCRIPTION
This is the blade of Sena's dead master. A blade made many years ago and passed through many hands. Though The crystal within resonates with Ya'iri's life. A reminder of who he was. This blade was seldom used through the years of its existence. It was shrouded in black as the previous users never wanted to make what they were truly known. It served its purpose well. The blade shines of pure white; a neutral color as the hallmark for it's users, always having been on the edge of dark and light.

 

[Atlas Kane]

Hello, I'll be the factory judge reviewing your submission. If you have questions, please feel free to respond to this thread once we are underway.

 

[Atlas Kane]

You have a few sections missing from the standard template. If there's nothing that applies to a certain section simply write "N/A". The sections that are missing seem to be:

• Canon Link:
• Restricted Missions:
• Primary Source:

Just add those in under OOC Info and you'll be good.

Alright, the intent section needs to be revised a little, the way it is makes it seem a little lacking of substance. Try something more along the lines of the examples provided in the standard template.

Secondly, you'll have to flesh out the weakness a little. It seems like the blade is nice and simple, so just provide a shortcoming of your average lightsabre, for instance, the inability to activate it underwater.

Also, could you specify more on the materials the lightsabre is made out of?

Lastly, fleshing out the description a little more would add a bit more personality to the sub, try going for a good paragraph. You could talk a bit more about who Ya'iri was and/or describe the way the lightsabre looks a bit more.

Other than that it seems like a very nice lightsabre, especially digging the art. ^_^

[member="Sena"]

 

[Sena]

Sigh Alright. I will put in effort lol. Give me a few and I will tag you when updated.

[member="Atlas Kane"]

 

[Sena]

Edits made. All good?

[member="Atlas Kane"]

 

[Atlas Kane]

Yeah, looks good to me.

[member="Darth Ananta"]

 

[Atlas Kane]

Awesome. Pending Factory Mentor Review.

[member="Jamie Pyne"] [member="Raziel"]

 

[Hailyn]

Awesome. Pending Admin Approval. Thanks! [member="Cira"]

 

[Cira]

Approved.