Private Stellar Exchanges

[Astra Sadow]

"Much of worship is self sustaining. All you need is an irrefutable display of power witnessed by the masses, or the fear of social ostracization forcing everyone to prostrate themselves at your feet." There was a brief pause before she added, "That or a bond that compels them to service."

Astra leaned back to sit up straight with a slight shrug emphasized with both hands. "If you insist. We wouldn't be forced to kill billions. I merely thought to accommodate your desire to establish your own dominance over those that refused to kneel. After all, if we convert the majority, the minority will meekly bow." Another pause and the smile dropped with a glance off to the side. "Or die. But that should only take... one or two million souls." When she looked back to Lysander, Astra was smiling again.

"If it's dramatic you want, Lysander, the other option is to persuade their most influential Elder to your side. Make them believe you're their friend and dazzle them with rewards for being forward-thinking. No need for you to make every decision yourself. Meanwhile, you continue expanding your influence in the event your puppet dies unceremoniously so the show goes on." Astra had read someone had once done that with a Representative of Skako centuries ago. It had been effective then, why not now?

Lysander von Ascania​

 

[Lysander von Ascania]

Astra Sadow​

"Only a million or two now? Hm, at this rate I'll have you down to a manageable atrocity before lunch."

What an unromantic description of faith. The newest approach appealed instantly, because it was the closest to home. Divine usurpation had never quite made the list of personal ambitions, though dismantling governments certainly occupied a proud spot near the top. One carefully cultivated Elder. Couldn't be that difficult, right? Industrial dependence, religious influence, diplomacy that was anything but innocent. And of course, the ever reliable option of catastrophic violence should the endeavor go wrong. Quite the menu.

Lysander's elbows propped on knees and his chin came to rest on folded hands. Apparently, Had Abaddon's grass and open sky made for better plotting than any grim Sith war room ever did. More like sketching out some household renovation; albeit one involving planetary consequences. "The Elder doesn't even need to like me. They just need to dislike the idea of someone else getting closer. So why not give several Elders their own unique reasons to want me around? If one.. conveniently vanishes, the others would still have motive to keep things running."

A bright smile touched his lips. "Alright, hit me. Which part of that master plan would you distrust?" Lysander's tone was light. "But.. dismantle the whole thing in one sentence only." Easy work, surely. "Or two, if you absolutely must."

 

[Astra Sadow]

"Don't tell let the Elders know you're approaching them separately, or they'll turn against you. Let them each think they are special, and gravitate toward one another believing each other happening to have similar investment or confidence in you." If they didn't think they were special, they might begin to think they were expandable.

"As for dismantling your hopes and dreams in a single sentence... The Skakoan are insular people that are more likely to shun you than humor your proposition. But not all hope is lost. There's still a chance you can corrupt one of them to your side." That was the problem when other parties believed they had the freedom to do whatever they chose. And precisely the sort of dynamic Astra had spoken about earlier: you were powerful enough to impose your own will, or weak enough to have someone else's imposed on you. Though nothing said both parties couldn't be headed in the same direction in which case everyone exercised their freedom.

Astra cracked her neck with a soft sigh. "On our way back we must stop by a relay or spaceport. I hope you don't mind." She absolutely needed some refreshment and Had Abaddon distinctly lacked that. Unless she spoiled the game with Lysander and made it oh-so-apparent.

Lysander von Ascania​

 

[Lysander von Ascania]

Astra Sadow​

As ever, her reasoning was sound; exclusivity held its power precisely because every soul presumes it rare. Let each Elder nurse the belief that they alone hold your true confidence, and their own vanity does half the work for him. Lysander, however.. wasn't so sure this pretty illusion could hold forever. Formidable people inevitably traded stories, especially once doubt gives them cause to. A seed for such a thing always took root eventually. Perhaps it would be wiser if, upon discovering one another, they uncovered no outright lie at all? Though.. he could already hear certain Sith spitting at the notion.

"I am with you on making this feel exclusive, I just doubt secrecy holds once you bring several powerful people into the same orbit. If they do find each other in the end, and they will, I would rather have them think, 'oh, naturally she was consulted too, instead of, he swore I alone was trusted.'"

Her reply to his small provocation pleased him more than he let show.

Eventually, Lysander's expression turned thoughtful. "What I' d really like is to find the one Elder whose ambitions already lean in my direction. Give them a nudge, let them close the remaining distance on their own terms. Because if I have to drag their ass every step of the way, that isn't influence." It sounded more like a leash he'd forever have to pull. "I haven't the patience to guide every soul by the hand. Freedom's easier when both happen to want the same destination."

There was no reason to press his companion for reasons for what might soon become their departure from Had Abaddon. "Of course, Astra. We can leave whenever you like."

 

[Astra Sadow]

"It is better when they agree," Astra sighed. "Every so often there's someone you want to humiliate and suffer, so you give them everything they want to lure them into a living hell. Only when it's deserved. Good company -- like good help -- is far more enjoyable. People that accept and embrace the reality around them, and work toward a mutually beneficial future." Not for everyone, of course. She wasn't a secret philanthropist or Jedi.

With a soft chuckle she met his eyes. "So, Lysander, what new secret would you like to pry out of me? I should think at some point in our exchange you might dangle something of yourself out in the open. Something about your life today. Not yesterday." She wasn't there to convince him to return to the Republic. The past was the past; there as no use dwelling on it. His occupation in the Covenant on the other hand could be quite forthcoming to their present and future dealings.

Lysander von Ascania​

 

[Lysander von Ascania]

Astra Sadow​

Humiliation and suffering were old familiars in Sith tradition; Lysander had known that for some time. Neither became a habit he cultivated with intention. Humiliation least of all, nor punishment dealt out for the pleasure of observing someone withstand it. When something blocked his path, his preference remained removal of the obstruction itself.

"I’ve always preferred cooperation when it’s available. Better when everyone has something worth keeping. At least, from my exprience, everything else usually comes with too much upkeep." There too existed those denied the luxury of mutual gain. Wrong planet. Wrong loyalty. Wrong instant. Tapani overflowed with all three at once.

“I’ve been wondering when you’d get around to it.” Lysander let his smile widen. “Though that’s partly because you’ve made very little effort to ask.” If anything, the observation amused him. “That should be mutual too, shouldn’t it? You ask, I answer. Otherwise, I’m just volunteering my life."

There existed a few routes he could follow, depending upon how generous the mood found him. So, he picked one at random. “Titles have their charm. I just don't think they're the part I enjoy anymore. Give me a room, a difficult conversation, and enough time to move everyone three degrees toward a better outcome. I find it more satisfying. Lately there's also the matter of learning what living is like without requiring every piece of it to serve as proof of something.." Not exactly a confession, but maybe the reasoning was something she would appreciate hearing.

"And to keep things in the present, what fills Ms. Sadow's hours when there's nothing being asked of her?"

 

[Astra Sadow]

"I've learned quite a lot about you, Lysander, already," Astra rebutted his accusation. True, she hadn't asked as many pointed questions, but his reactions to what she'd said had conveyed plenty. Still, you couldn't learn everything through deduction and inference. "And I wouldn't mind you volunteering your life." His words not hers.

That the man yearned to persuade others to his mindset didn't surprise Astra. Though she was curious about what he'd left unsaid.

"I have a voracious appetite, Lysander." A laugh played it off as a jest. "When I'm not indulging myself at a club, I'm busy tending to... Family. I have a very large Family. It may surprise you to learn I have a home to return to. Not that you'll find it in any report." Plenty of people would kill to figure out where her enclave was hidden. Most of those people lacked the ability to even try tracking her, however. The Covenant was an exception.

"And yourself, Lysander? When you aren't trying to indulge in word play, or forced to commit genocide, what is it you do out of sight of the public?"

Lysander von Ascania​

 

[Lysander von Ascania]

Astra Sadow​

A confident claim, that. Fine, so long as the curiosity ran both ways and not in the particularly Sith fashion where conversation became a test of what someone might accidentally let slip. Offering up one's life sounded generous; in practice, most people only wanted the abridged edition, cut down to whatever sounded useful.

One shoulder eased as Lysander let out a slow breath through his nose. "Clever as you are, Astra, some things are better heard straight instead of being pieced together. I suppose I could fill in a few gaps for you."

Something in the way she'd said Family suggested the picture was considerably more complicated than that. "Clubs and indulgence, then straight back to family supper, is it? Quite the juxtaposition, Astra, and you wear it well. Most people would look so torn between worlds."

He found he didn't mind the pieces she left unfinished; that might've been why most of his questions weren't pointed at her private world. His chin lifted just enough to catch her golden eyes again. "How often does that appetite actually win?"

"I'm fairly dull, if it isn't obvious. Hedonism has never quite been my thing. To me, it always felt like pouring into a cup that'll never stay full. Pleasure's pleasant enough. I just tend to prefer the sort that leaves something behind."

Warmth edged the curve of his mouth. "Though, maybe I just missed the invitation altogether. We can blame Korriban for that."

 

[Astra Sadow]

Astra slowly uncrossed her legs and shimmied her generous posterior off the ground. Her weight rocked forward and the dark woman's red lips drew ever closer to Lysander. Her golden eyes never left his emerald gaze. She stopped short, her hands fanning and caressing an outline of his head several inches from his skin; they followed his form down to his shoulders. A soft hum rose within.

"Indulgence, Lysander, always leaves something behind. It reinvigorates the soul worn down by the constant grind of fools and ambition. It is perhaps the Modern Sith's greatest failing -- not recognizing that pleasure is equally as important as suffering. What are we, Lysander, if not creatures of emotion and desire? What is the Dark Side, but a manifestation of our boundless yearning? Life is short for most. Long for few. And in both the need to enjoy all that surrounds us."

She ever so slowly started to withdrawal with a smile on her lips

"My appetite is eternal, Lysander. But just because there is a buffet before you does not mean you greedily claw at every dish and stuff your gullet. Half of all pleasure is in the wanting. Why deprive yourself of the full experience letting yourself run rampant?" Astra chuckled. "There's a skill to wanton abandon just like anything else worth having in life."

Lysander von Ascania​

 

[Lysander von Ascania]

Astra Sadow​

Lysander held his ground as Astra moved into his space; this ritual of near touch wasn't exactly a first. But his mind still wandered; those red lips made him question his own steadiness. No room for smugness, his thoughts even warned him.

He kept his eyes trained on her gold irises with a different kind of intensity than usual; less observation now, more probing curiosity. Somewhere along the way of giving her his full attention and listening, his own smile was coaxed back to life.

When Astra began withdrawing, he drew a slow breath in through his nose and let it leave just as gradually; he wore the mask enough elsewhere, it didn't really matter to him whether he came off composed or not. It deserved a holiday too. "You can be such a coward, Astra," offered in the narrow space between them, amusement shaping those words. Not that he'd been expecting anything; it could've been as simple as intrigued by what she'd do with that barb. "Half the pleasuring is in wanting, you say? Such a convenient philosophy for someone backing away."

He shifted his weight, leaning onto one hip. One hand pressed into the grass to steady his frame. "Longing is intoxicating, but if satisfying one itch only lights another, does anything ever truly settle.." He let the sentence hover.

A gentle shrug followed. "Pleasure can restore you. I'll grant you that. But I think I'd rather come away from it with more than enough energy to survive another week of idiots. A memory, or a person. Something that transformed because I was there." His other hand brushed a loose strand of grass from his knee. "If we let desire write every rule, isn't that just another kind of chain? A prisoner of impulse? Eventually, I want the other half too."

They'd disagreed on enough by now that this hardly felt unusual. Perhaps another fault line to press at, mostly to see what the other would build from it.

 

[Astra Sadow]

Astra's lips parted to reveal her pearly white teeth as she grinned boldly in response to his remarks. "You're thinking too hard about this, Lysander. Passion isn't academic. It isn't quantifiable. It doesn't leave you unchanged -- if you do it right." She certainly could make it transformative, but his barb wasn't going to get her to reveal that which she held on to so fastly to date. It deserved something special to be revealed. Not a little tête-à-tête. "And to do it right means not being a prisoner to impulse."

After she set back down on her butt, Astra looked over at him with an arm draped atop one knee. "I could show you passion that would rewrite how you see the world. Impulses and knowledge that would reshape how you live. There is such splendor out there in the galaxy, Lysander. Limitless. Glorious. And above all terrifying." A closed mouth smile returned in force because of how she ended that thought, not in spite of it.

"Are you interested in see just the beginning of what is out there? You'll never catch a glimpse of it cajoling fools into deals they'll break as soon as it's convenient. Make time for it, Lysander. Don't forget to live while you're busy trying to put out the every fire of those too eager to die." Another chuckle followed suit. "But there's a beauty in death as well. It's not something I can put into words, and not something you'll see on a battlefield."

Lysander von Ascania​

 

[Lysander von Ascania]

Astra Sadow​

Lysander let out a soft exasperated huff; no way was he going to let Astra corner him so easily, especially with something he admittedly found very interesting. Trying to dissect it like a specimen on a table kind of killed the thing you're trying to understand in the first place. "Okay, there.. right there. That's the ledge where you lose me. I mean even if it's not academic, it is consequential. And anything consequential deserves to be thought about hard, perhaps especially when it doesn't leave you unchanged." Almost sounded like the emissary was arguing for prudishness. "Examining things is how you know whether you're acting or just reacting, right?"

She was making promises to a man constitutionally incapable of leaving a question alone. That was almost unfair. And terrifying.. well, terrifying had never scared him off; it just went into the pile of things waiting to be understood. "I could find value in letting something happen first before deciding what it means. Or naming it. But splendor like that comes with a cost, whether you name it or not. To be rewritten is also to be unwritten, in some small way. You didn't get one without the other." Maybe not everything worth experience needed to survive a hearing in his head first. "I reserve the right to interrogate it afterward."

That part about spending too much time solving everyone else's crises and not enough actually living? That one stuck. Annoyingly, because it rang true. Obligations were always the easiest shelf to reach for. "Alright. The beginning. I can do the beginning." He pointed at her with two fingers. "Don't think you can trick me into agreeing to everything all at once, though."

He'd seen death up close around the Sith, but not whatever this was she was circling around without naming. Not as far as he could tell, anyway. "If you can't put it into words, I won't ask you to try. Guess you'll just have to show me eventually."

 

[Astra Sadow]

Astra shrugged. "By all means, think about it, but don't think about it too much, Lysander. No one can account for every thing, and you'll spend your entire life trying, if you aren't careful." She was the last to tell people to act mindlessly, but there was being too studious as well. If you spent your entire time trying to discern whether to do something, the time to actually do it will have passed.

Then she laughed as Lysander's acquiescence. "Everything? You can't experience everything in a single lifetime, Lysander." A brief pause followed along with a smirk. "Don't worry, I'll spread out the wonders and terrors alike so you won't feel tempted to abandon everything you, personally, desire to accomplish in this life. Magnanimous, aren't I?" Of course, if he were a little less beholden to how things were meant to be, she could give him more time to indulge the senses.

"Perhaps," she replied with a little less giddy enthusiasm. "Don't mistake my... reservation. You're worthy, but there are some experiences that do more than influence you. Some things weren't meant to be witnessed by the living. Some things can kill with a glance. Or make you wish it had. But, if you insist, that just means we'll need to do more than spar with our swords. Pencil me in to your schedule." Astra winked across at Lysander.

Lysander von Ascania​

 

[Lysander von Ascania]

Astra Sadow​

She wasn't entirely wrong; he did run every scenario out to its logical end. But in his defense, it was a better flaw than its opposite. The galaxy was full of sentients who never thought at all; the Covenant alone housed a small collection who acted first and agreed to absorb the fallout whenever it arrived. No wonder he'd been experiencing an existential crisis just shy of turning nineteen. "I'd still rather be a second late because I was careful than a second early because I wasn't. That said.. you've got a point. Preparation is a virtue, I suppose, until it becomes an excuse not to move." Something like that.

The crease between his crows thinned. "So where do you land, then? Somewhere between think everything through and don't think at all? Or is there something entirely different in play?" Lysander might've already had a theory there already, though naturally he just wanted to hear how Astra might frame it.

"Magnanimous? Yeah, that's one word for it. Another might even be well organized. You're over there more or less rationing out my future revelations like you're curating a private exhibit, and I'm supposed to feel lucky about a guided tour." Which, in truth, he probably would. Not like she needed that particular card on the table yet.

"I guess this is where I'm supposed to appreciate the disclaimer. Though I confess, Astra, I didn't realize my worthiness was still under debate." His mouth pressed flat before it curved. "A pencil sounds terribly formal. I'm sure I can move a few things around. Perhaps several."

 

[Astra Sadow]

"When you swing your sword, do you need to think about every move and every counter that might result first? Of course not. You don't know everything, but you know enough. You've lived enough. You understand the premise of the exchange unfolding in real time, and you make choices without stopping to think about them. The thinking came before the battle began. When you trained."

Astra smiled across at her partner in philosophizing. "You can't train for Life, Lysander, but you can train for aspects of life. With enough diversity you can apply instincts honed for one to another. Mistakes can happen, but you learn and move forward. The key is diversity. Which is why I don't want to stop you, Lysander, from doing what you want, but I do want to introduce you to more. So you'll be better prepared."

"You should." Appreciate her disclaimer that is. "Other women or men like me wouldn't be half as considerate. They'd introduce you to that which no living creature was meant to lay eyes on without so much as a single word. I've seen plenty of capable minds ruined that way. Lamentable." There were people that could endure without any training at all; but such natural talent was exceedingly rare. Why some Lords felt like gambling with some of their best and brightest when a little extra training might enable them to survive... Well, admittedly, as someone that had nothing invested in those poor souls, Astra had found the disappointment in the would-be-Master quite amusing.

After a moment, Astra lifted her right hand from her knee. Suddenly black tendrils seemed to peel away from her limb. They lifted like smoke, but didn't dissipate or rise further into the air. She slowly waved her fingers and turned her arm around in the air before them. "Have you ever wondered, Lysander, what makes reality real in the first place? How, if there are dimensions beyond our own they don't run afoul of us? Whether there is something greater or deeper our limited senses cannot perceive holding it all together for some unspeakable purpose?" Astra chuckled to herself. "I'd be happy to discuss such things during our engagements. Perhaps even demonstrate them." Her method of training could be as harsh as any other -- sometimes sink or swim was the only method that would work -- but Astra expected Lysander wouldn't mind so long as she imparted more than just more questions.

Lysander von Ascania​

 

[Lysander von Ascania]

Astra Sadow​

Whether seconds slipped by or thirty ticks mattered little; Lysander always believed that when you invited someone into a philosophical spar, you owed them the decency of earning your argument. Particularly now!

"Instinct remains only as reliable as its teacher," he observed while searching her. "I can't claim you're wrong. It's precisely why I pick instructors carefully. Bitter trials forge brittle reflexes just as kindly lessons craft sharper ones. Sometimes an old mistake just learns to sprint. At the same time.. a sword registers your mistake in real time." He thought back on a handful of recent misfires and triumphs. "And life, well.. it waits and sends the invoice later."

An arm stretched out, plucking a blade of grass. "You're right. You can't rehearse for life. There's no script, is there? But you can, I don't know, collect vocabularies. You learn how to move in one room and then when you're thrown into another one, you find you still know how to read where the doors are. But.." His warm gaze locked on Astra. "You can train for a dozen aspects of life and become pretty decent at improvising through all of them, but there's also something to be said for just staying with one thing long enough that you stop making the obvious mistakes. Not that you learn faster by moving on, but that you learn deeper by staying put. I'm not asking for a bubble to hide in. Choosing a single road and walking its length isn't shortsighted.. it's another kind of preparation."

"Oh Astra, I've never suffered from a lack of interested parties." He let that one sit for long enough to be potentially obnoxious. "Admittedly, very few kicked things off promising to guard my mind from outright liquefaction." Lysander laughed softly. "So this is your brand of consideration, then? A forewarning before the existential horror? I think that may be the most affectionate thing you've offered since we met."

He shifted, drawing his knees up before him and folding his arms around them in a loose hug. After, he leaned a little closer. "If parallel dimensions press up against ours, why don't we slip into them? Why don't they bleed into us? What thin membrane, what cosmic law, preserves the seams? And the real kicker.. why bother stitching existence together at all?" Because he didn't really have an answer for any of them.

Lysander tucked his chin down against his knees. "I wouldn't mind learning more from you. I'm not the worst student, as long as I respect the teacher." No need for grand affirmations; the time he willingly spent with her should've spoken volumes.

 

[Astra Sadow]

Script? Astra smiled. It was worse than that. Perhaps, some day, she'd tell him all about it. How a single individual could come to master everything given enough time -- which a Sangnir, presumably, had -- but that it required memorizing everything. At that point, wouldn't such an entity become a literal god? There seemed to be rules put in place to prevent it. Or, perhaps, Life had put the rules on itself -- being unable to hold all of life's lessons at the same time being one -- after the last ones went mad. Yes, she very much looked forward to the day she revealed everything to him.

A soft grunt followed Lysander's self-promotion. Yes, she was quite aware of those whose interest and consideration he'd obtained. The man was quite fortunate compared to most. "Not liquefaction," she corrected softly, "insanity." Death was all too swift and easy by comparison. People saw a person running down the street killing people and thought that mad. There was madness that extended so much deeper.

"I suppose it is a bit more... personal than offering you the pick of the litter of my choicest collection." Affectionate? Suppose she was fond of the man. Certainly interested indulging in his scholarly debates, and stringing him along with her responses. Finding a way to help him keep his sanity would enable discussion on topics Astra truly had no one else to indulge in.

The wisps of inky tendrils suddenly snapped back into the length of her arm with it resuming its Human-like appearance once more. And in that moment, Astra simply vanished.

Something -- no, someone rocked back against Lysander's back, and Astra's voice softly replied, "Those are the questions."

Just as suddenly as she'd seemingly relocated, Astra snapped back into being in front of Lysander as though nothing had happened. "And answering them may invariably lead to madness. Then again... no risk, no reward. Isn't that right, Lysander?"

Lysander von Ascania​

 

[Lysander von Ascania]

Astra Sadow​

Lysander's mouth opened, then closed again. He'd almost remarked that she'd made liquefaction sound like a merciful slug, but not every quip required pursuit. Instead, a thumb swept across his bottom lip to erasse any suggestion of a smirk. "Whatever you're willing to reveal, consider me willing to learn it."

As the smoke withdrew, those inky wisps, his fighter's instincts prickled. The kind conditioned through combat rather than contemplation. First was the electrifying spark in his gut; odd to be caught off guard so suddenly. Thoughts accelerated, and attention snapped sharply over a shoulder.

Since they landed on Had Abaddon, not a single question stripped the emissary of language, until now.

His loose posture evaporated as one leg slid away from his torso, and an open palm pressed back into grass beside him. Another reflex, he recognized a breath later, giving himself more room to move.

The currents of Lysander's mind carried him back to her. "Whenever I wanted something badly enough, danger became easier to view as an admission fee. But.. madness is an unusual price, isn't it? If I lost an arm reaching for something, I can still decide afterward whether acquisition justified amputation. If I lose a war, I can decide whether the cause justified the dead." The sentiment lacked orthodox Sith detachment, but it was just one more thing ingrained in being. "Even mortality offers a kind of closure. Someone else can look at what I died for and judge its worth. But if the thing I sacrifice is the part of me capable of judging the reward in the first place.. then who remains to declare victory?"

To many, the questioning might've sounded intentionally obstinate, but he was asking literally. "What does madness actually mean when you say it?"

 

[Astra Sadow]

Astra made no effort to move once she 'reappeared' before Lysander. She knew all too well how unsettling it could be. Oh, yes, there were Sith and Witches and more that tore open portals, or melded into some unspeakable dimension parallel to their own -- Traveling of one form or another. How many were instantaneous with no sign before or after of it having occurred? Better yet, had it occurred at all?

A slow nod accompanied Lysander's stated question regarding madness being an unusual price.

It was also midly amusing to think Lysander considered what would happen after his demise. How people might judge him, his choices, and his actions. Was the sacrifice worth their judgment, he'd ask himself. Well, nothing wrong worrying about one's legacy. Still, his studiousness in considering such things when it arguably no longer mattered tickled her.

Especially seeing as how death could be only the beginning.

Then he asked the question. With a lidless stare she responded with darker undertones to her voice, "The shadows come alive. The walls breathe. The sky peels open to reveal a gaping maw of an ancient denizen. Those you love become enemies, and every stranger has a dangerous glint to their eye you dare not turn your back toward. Even the very ground betrays you as it heaves and contorts into monstrous creatures that give chase down once familiar but now nightmarish streets. There is no escape from the sound of beasts salivating over a meal even as you curl up inside of a locked room, anxious to rest. The sun never sets, or does it never rise? Time stretches on for an eternity and all you can do is hope to avoid being shredded by the talons of creatures whose forms and colors blend together into an unfathomable, insatiable essence."

Astra blinked and then the smile returned. "I doubt I do it justice, really."

Lysander von Ascania​