Shouldn'ts & Shoulds [Marzena/Sioux]

[Natasi Fortan]

1830 Hours Avalonia Standard Time​

Office of Home Territories Moff - Imperial Palace - 32nd Floor​

(Currently occupied by recently-appointed Grand Moff Natasi Fortan)​

"Be careful with those," Natasi said without looking up from her work; a pair of interns were packing her office, and she had spied out of the corner of her eye as one of them had very nearly dropped a crystal vase that she had stolen from Herevan Hold. Technically it belonged to her cousin Maximilian Jens, the current Earl of Herevan, but he hadn't been there long enough to know the difference when she'd lifted it. And since Herevan Hold was now a sad little wreck jutting out of the snow on Galidraan, it didn't much matter now. "If you damage anything from this office, I'm going to be very disappointed," she said with a warning tone, her dark eyes finally looking up.

The office looked so... strange. The furniture would all be staying, but it still looked empty. They had moved the conversation area pieces together in the center of the area and covered with a dustcloth. Since Natasi was going to continue on as the de facto Home Secretary, the office wouldn't be needed. There was another office on the 33rd floor, adjacent to the Supreme Commander's wing, set aside for the Grand Moff. Natasi wasn't sure whether she would work there or out of Number 10, or some telecommunications mixture of both, but for the immediate future, she would be traveling aboard the Concordia, her mobile headquarters, away from Avalonia and Dosuun and the stress of sharing a world with --

Natasi's thoughts were interrupted by a sharp rap at the door. "Ma'am," Sioux interrupted. "Communications called and they have a draft of the speech ready. Shall I have them come up?"

"No," said the Grand Moff. She pinched the bridge of her nose. Perhaps she should have gone on tour months ago. "No, I'll go down. They're on -- what, twenty eight?"

"Yes, ma'am," said Sioux. "It's a left off the lift. You can't miss them. They usually have -- just -- buckets of food in the area."

"Oh. Right. Thank you, Sioux." Natasi strolled through the outer office, then ducked her head back in. "Oh, Sioux? Did the Supreme Leader call?"

"No, ma'am." Natasi rapped on the doorjamb and nodded. "Anyway this place needs to be packed up, Sioux. We're leaving straight from the ceremony tomorrow morning, so we will need everything packed up and ready by tonight. And if I know you you still have to pack your personal kit. Better get started or it'll be a late night." She turned, and hurried towards the elevators, disappearing into one and taking it to the 28th floor.

[member="Marzena Choi"] | [member="Sioux Chambers"]

 

[Marzena Vaas]

Patent leather heels entered the Imperial Palace, the pretty shoes clicked cheerfully on the polished floor, drawing the attention of many as they passed by. The citizens of Cloud City were well used to seeing the pop star out and about. However, here in Avalonia, eyes were still getting used to the sight of Marzena Choi. Unknown to everyone, she had been frequenting the Capital City often, especially during recent weeks. And when she was here, she normally stayed with General [member="Ludolf Vaas"]. The General’s flat was tidy, well organized, and had enough style to keep her happy. But it lacked all of her belongings, and she often found herself feeling a bit lonely and bored when Ludolf was not present. Tonight he was working late, and instead of sitting there alone, Marzena had decided to bring him dinner.

A freshly manicured finger pressed the button for the lift, and she stepped inside with a confident stride. There was a brown paper bag swinging from one hand, containing a sandwich from a local café for Ludolf, and a garden salad for Marzena. Her other hand was curled gently around the end of a small bouquet of flowers, a small token for Grand Moff [member="Natasi Fortan"]. Little did she know that Natasi was currently in the next lift, their paths would not cross just yet.

Marzena looked up when there was a small beep to signal her arrival to the 32nd floor. She walked leisurely towards the office of the Grand Moff and peeked inside. The celebrity had never come to visit Natasi here before, but it was clear that there was a bit of a shuffle going on now. Dark eyes cast a glance around the room; where there were interns packing boxes carefully. And there was the slim and stern figure of Ms. [member="Sioux Chambers"]. Marzena had a sinking feeling in her stomach at that moment, now seeing that the Grand Moff was not present.

“Excuse me, Ms. Chambers?” Marzena spoke up from the doorway. “Is the Grand Moff still here? I just wanted to give her these.” She lifted the flowers slightly.

Marzena had always been polite to Ms. Chambers, she’d even sent a gift to her once, but she always had a feeling that she was not welcome in the company of the Principal Private Secretary. Dark eyelashes fluttered, the toes of her shoes edged into the room just slightly.

“Unless it would be too much trouble...” Marzena offered Sioux a hopeful smile.

 

[Natasi Fortan]

"Just pack up your life, Sioux. Stuff it in a suitcase, Sioux. I can't handle rejection so everyone has to suffer, Sioux." The Principal Private Secretary was grumbling in a reasonable facsimile of Natasi's posh Galidraani accent when [member="Marzena Choi"] arrived. She was startled, dropped a sheaf of papers on the floor, and turned to face her. "Oh. It's you." This late in the day, with everything going wrong, she could not contain the impatience and disdain she had for the singer -- although, by this point, Natasi was just as high on her list as Marzena Choi. She crouched to pick up the papers, glaring up at the singer. She could almost laugh at the absurdity of Marzena Choi bringing Natasi Fortan flowers, but then again there was very little that wasn't absurd about the entire situation.

Knowing what she knew, she was ready to chuck the lot of them into a reactor core. [member="Ludolf Vaas"], for being able to choose this bauble of a woman over her mistress. [member="Natasi Fortan"], for allowing her hurt feelings to dominate her life -- and Sioux's -- for months. And [member="Marzena Choi"] -- well, Sioux detested her most of all, though she knew that she was an innocent party and had done nothing wrong. She had only been in the right place at the right time, and thought well of someone who thought well of her. Where was the sin in that? But emotions didn't work well with logic. She was an obstacle to Natasi's wishes, which was enough. Not that Natasi felt that way. Maddeningly -- illogically -- she was an admirer of the singer. Sioux blew out a derisive sigh. As she picked up the papers she stewed on this internal monologues, then carried them over to the waste basket and hurled them in.

"Since when does that matter?" Sioux said, picking up another set of papers from Natasi's outbox and carrying them towards the door, and Marzena. "As you can see she isn't here now, but she'll be back shortly. Wait if you want. Sit in her chair -- I'm sure she'd appreciate the irony." She strolled past Marzena into the outer office and handed the outgoing correspondence to an intern, feeling flushed and hot. Had she really just said what she'd said? Sioux felt like she was watching herself on a holovision program, watching but not controlling her own actions and words. She turned to offer some half-hearted apology, but even fear for her job couldn't draw sincerity from Sioux. "Pardon me, Ms. Choi. It's been rather a long day."

 

[Marzena Vaas]

Marzena’s eyes widened as she saw the papers fall from Sioux’s hands and float down to the floor. The greeting from [member="Sioux Chambers"] was less than friendly, and the corner of Marzena’s mouth twitched. She felt a stab of annoyance in her stomach; no one spoke to her that way. While she could have easily bent to lend a helping hand, she let Sioux retrieve the papers from the floor, figuring that her assistance would have somehow made it worse.

“Excuse me?” Her dark eyes narrowed dangerously at Sioux. The Principal Private Secretary never lacked attitude, it was in every movement and every word. Marzena had noticed that the venom laced tone only came out fully when [member="Natasi Fortan"] was not present. She turned to watch as Sioux moved past her on her way towards the outer office, and Marzena glared at the back of the other woman’s head. Her delicate hand squeezed the bundled stems in her hand, it was all she could do to keep from shoving the flowers right in Sioux’s pretty face. It would have done little to wipe off Sioux’s sour look, but it might have been amusing...

“Well, if it will only be a minute – I’m content waiting.” Marzena shot back, her shoulders feeling tense now. There was a bit of sharpness hiding behind her friendly tone. It would have been easy to simply hand the flowers to Sioux and relay a quick sentiment for the Moff, but Marzena suddenly found herself feeling defiant in the face of Sioux’s remarks. Finally, she moved from her spot in the door way and over towards a chair – not the Grand Moff’s chair, but one on the other side of the desk. Marzena set her things down and moved to sit, just when Sioux turned back to offer her a very poor excuse for an apology.

“Ms. Chambers,” She started, “You don't like me – I get it. But what exactly have I done to you? Have I offended you in some way?” Marzena approached her, shoulders thrown back slightly.

 

[Natasi Fortan]

Sioux muttered something under her breath about [member="Marzena Choi"] having other things to do and only having a minute to spare, but she was almost sure she was quiet enough not to be overheard. Meanwhile, she shuffled papers, willing herself not to turn back to Marzena. She was probably in for a smack from the Grand Moff as it was, and she wasn't in the mood for any more from her tonight. Things had been tense between them for some days as they prepared for the grand tour. But when Marzena spoke her name, she had to turn, and worked on keeping her face neutral.

There was a moment when Sioux felt herself unwinding, as if she was about to spill everything she felt. But she loved her job -- in truth, despite their currently-rocky relationship status, she loved her friend [member="Natasi Fortan"] -- too much to risk it by indulging in her desire to give the upstart songstress just what she had coming. On the other hand, she had to answer. She stared at Marzena approached, Sioux's posture mimicking the singer's, shoulders back and head up. "It's nothing to do with liking you or not, Ms. Choi, I'm just busy," said Sioux imperiously. "What you're witnessing -- what you always witness when you see me -- is a woman who works for a living -- on her feet."

She demonstrated by filing a few binders into a carton marked Concordia, then sealed the lid. "To answer your question, you've done nothing. Not to me. Now would you like me to take a message for the Grand Moff?" Sioux wondered if she could get rid of Marzena before Natasi returned. Perhaps Natasi need never know about Sioux's lapse of judgment. At least -- not tonight. Little did she know that Natasi had returned from the turbolift and was standing outside the office, head bent in concentration, fuming and furious. But she was loathe to enter, not until she knew the extent of damage Sioux had done. It would be hugely inconvenient to find a new PPS, she knew, but at this point there didn't seem to be another option.

 

[Marzena Vaas]

The two women were staring each other down, both of them poised to the point of looking cold. Nothing good could come of this. When [member="Sioux Chambers"] responded, Marzena’s dark eyes grew wider. Her fingers curled into a fist, and she felt her nails begin to bite into her palm. Had they been anywhere else, Sioux would have surely felt the sting of Marzena’s hand across her face. But the fear of embarrassing Ludolf or sullying his image was just enough to keep her hand firmly at her side.

It was true that General Vaas had played a part in her success here in First Order space, but she had not entered into a relationship with him for that purpose. It wasn't like she had tried to seduce him - it had been a very mutual attraction. And she had certainly never taken anyone to bed in order to further her career. Marzena could have said this to Sioux, but in her experience, people did not want facts. They wanted someone to blame.

“I am where I am today because I am talented.” She said, her chin lifting slightly. “How dare you suggest otherwise.” All traces of warmth were absent from her voice now.

Just what was Marzena being blamed for? She hadn’t the slightest clue, but it was abundantly clear that Sioux felt that she had wronged someone. Perhaps Sioux was just one of those bitter, jealous women – the kind that could not stand to see others happy. Maybe she was the kind of person that needed to pull people down into the trenches, so that they could be miserable too. It seemed that Sioux had Marzena's trench already carved out, and was now simply waiting to push her in.

“If I haven’t done anything to you, why treat me this way? I can’t imagine that you show this kind of hospitality to all of the Grand Moff’s guests.” Marzena’s heart was pounding, she could feel her cheeks flushing and burning now. There was still something hiding behind Sioux’s harsh gaze, words on the tip of her tongue. Marzena could also sense that Sioux was now trying to speed her exit, but she would not be pushed aside so easily, not after all this.

Marzena edged closer, so that the pointed toe of her shoe bumped against Sioux’s.

“Do you have something else to say to me?” She tilted her head to the side, “Say it.”

 

[Natasi Fortan]

"Talented. Oh, indeed," said Sioux, a smirk forcing itself through her chilly demeanor. "I didn't suggest otherwise. Guilty conscience?" Sioux shot back with a derisive snort. Well, that was a lie. The not on her back had been a heavily-implied conclusion to her sentence, but what did that matter now? She tried to move past Marzena, but the singer had placed herself bodily in Sioux's way. Her dark eyes gazed narrowly at the woman, and Sioux's cheeks darkened. This was going to be a thing now; Natasi would find out and then she would probably be fired -- or worse. Might as well earn the stripes she was going to get anyway.

"Not every visitor to Na-- to the Grand Moff's office --have been responsible for the salad spinner of chaos that this office has been placed in. Not every visitor to this office kills her a little bit every time they're in the same room. You don't even know -- you don't even care, and why would you?" Sioux was babbling by now, but at that moment, the singer moved closer. The toe of her shoe bumping against Sioux's own stylish heeled shoe. Sioux looked down and then up to Marzena's face again, her dark eyes cold.

"Lady. Step away from me or I will put you through a wall." She looked up over Marzena's shoulder and sighed. "I'm done with this. I'm done trying to keep this office stable while you try to hold yourself together. I'm done!" This may have been a perplexing turn of events or Marzena, who was facing away from the door, and didn't see Natasi emerge from behind the doorjamb as Sioux finished her tirade, her face like thunderclouds.

[member="Marzena Choi"] | [member="Natasi Fortan"]

 

[Natasi Fortan]

Natasi stared at Sioux, deadly silent while the woman ranted at her, her eyes rimmed with red, her cheeks flushed with humiliation and rage. She shook her head, nostrils flaring. "Oh no," she said to Sioux. "You're done when I say you're done. Gentlemen." She glanced at her security detail -- two of the four horsemen stepped forward. "Escort Ms. Chambers to conference room alpha and see that she remains there until I inform you otherwise." Natasi stepped into the outer office, her arms folding around her stomach, which felt like it might revolt any moment.

It was the worst thing that could have happened, and at the worst possible time. She could kill Sioux. She could kill Sioux and then kill herself. It wasn't the first time she had thought of it.

"Marzena. Ms. Choi, I am so sorry," said Natasi, trying to save face. "I believe Ms. Chambers has been experiencing the effects of exhaustion after the busy few weeks we have had. I will not ask you to excuse her behavior and you will not need to interact with her again." She glanced at Sioux as the two plainclothesmen flanked her, apparently waiting on some signal from the Grand Moff to remove her. "Would you please step into my office so we can speak privately?"

For indeed, there were an inordinate number of staffers lurking in the hallway, hearing the sounds of Sioux's raised voice and having come to investigate. "Get back to work," Natasi ordered them coolly.

[member="Sioux Chambers"] | [member="Marzena Choi"]

 

[Marzena Vaas]

Marzena listened to Sioux’s tirade, a mix of irritation and confusion present on her face. She could only stare at the other woman, watching as she spouted off bits and pieces of an angry explanation. Her dark eyes blinked hard. These words had given way to more questions than answers. Marzena stood silently, desperately trying to put the puzzle together. “I don’t know what – ” Her tone was even, a bit of the bite was gone now, she simply wanted a straight answer.

She continued to maintain eye contact with Sioux, but when the woman demanded that she step away, Marzena’s heel edged backwards. There was no use pushing now, not when it seemed that Ms. Chambers had reached her limit. The singer remained still, her shoulders still tense and her nerves beginning to fray around the edges. Her chestnut eyes narrowed when Sioux declared herself “done,” this only served to make the cloud of confusion grow thicker. Had the woman finally snapped?

And then there was the rolling of thunder. Marzena turned sharply to see [member="Natasi Fortan"] sweeping into the room, two of her guards at each side. Her lips parted slightly, shocked to see [member="Sioux Chambers"] being escorted out of the room. Marzena turned her back on the scene unfolding; it only made the knot in her chest grow. She swallowed with a bit of effort, and forced herself to look over at Natasi. Marzena was more than a little embarrassed by her own behavior, perhaps everything truly was her fault. She had a feeling that she was about to find out.

Marzena followed willingly, moving into the Grand Moff’s office, her brow furrowed slightly. Sioux’s voice was still ringing in her mind, her words echoing relentlessly. Did her presence truly cause Natasi pain and suffering? And why? Once the door was closed behind her, she took but a few steps forward.

“What was Ms. Chambers talking about?” She asked, her voice quiet, perhaps even a bit frightened. “I’m afraid I don’t understand...”

The singers dark eyes searched Natasi’s, looking for answers...

 

[Natasi Fortan]

Natasi nodded once and the plainclothesmen guided [member="Sioux Chambers"] out of the room. Natasi watched as the onlookers disbursed and then went into her office, engaging the security locks. She walked slowly towards her desk, her heels shuffling on the floor, as if it took everything in her to move. Her heart pounded as she listened to Marzena's questions, keeping her back to the singer, as she stuck the datastick containing the speech for General Vaas' promotion ceremony into her satchel, then placed her hands on the corner of her desk, glancing up at the ceiling.

"Perhaps it's time," Natasi murmured, almost to herself. The Moff half-turned, so that she could see [member="Marzena Choi"] when she turned her head. "Yes. I think perhaps it's time." She pulled one of the cartons to her on the desk, opened the lid, and drew a bottle of gin and two glasses. "Would you care for something to drink?" Natasi unscrewed the lid of the gin and poured herself a measure of the stuff into a thick-bottomed glass. The tonic must have been stuck in another box, She lofted her eyebrows, half-rolling her eyes in irritation, and then shrugged and took a sip of the gin; it burned her throat. Once everything had been settled in terms of refreshments, the young Grand Moff turned back to Marzena.

"Take a seat, if you like," Natasi said dully. She set the drink down on her desk and picked up the carton, setting it on the sideboard nearby before returning to her chair. She sat down, letting the chair turn listlessly before rolling forward to her desk. Natasi pressed her hands together on the desk, almost in a gesture of prayer, and leaned forward, looking as if she was conducting a business meeting. "This is... difficult," she confessed, staring across the desk at Marzena, her dark eyes looking -- strange; some combination of fear and sadness that was rare to view in Natasi's face.

"The first thing you should know is that what I heard Sioux say isn't true... anymore." She looked down, pursing her lips. "The second thing you need to know is... Sioux Chambers and I are among the only people who know that the rumors of your personal involvement with a First Order leader are true. The third thing that you should know is that I have known [member="Ludolf Vaas"] for nearly a decade and I have considered him a very close friend for some time. We have been through a lot together; there is a history there that I cannot overcome. We left the One Sith together; we founded the First Order together with the Supreme Commander and the Supreme Leader. He has saved my life on several occasions." There was a long pause while she swirled the crystal liquid around in her glass.

"The fourth thing you must know is that I love him." At this her eyes glanced over to Marzena, looking exhausted and teary and -- absurdly, at least to Natasi -- apologetic. "Like I have never loved another person. Like perhaps I never will again." Her eyes filled, the color going from almost black to a bright amber, and when she continued her voice was gravelly, clearly working to contain her emotions.

"But the most important piece of information -- before I explain Sioux's behavior or my own -- is that he has never looked at me this way. Never. As far as I am aware, he has never seen me as anything more than a friend and colleague -- if that. There never has been, and will never be, any type of romantic relationship between us. You must understand this. I would never interfere, Marzena. Never." She took a kerchief from her pocket and dabbed at the corner of her eyes. "But... I made the mistake of confiding my feelings in my friend Sioux, who is much more of a rabid Nexu than I." She glanced at the door, as if remembering Sioux's presence. She didn't look back at Marzena for a long time.

"She wanted to -- she wanted to do something to separate you. I refused and ordered her to leave it lie, but she knew how... " Natasi swallowed audibly. "She knew how difficult it was for me to see you. To see the two of you -- " Her voice broke off and she took another sip of her drink. " -- but that was before. She never accepted that once I got to know you, I liked you very much. She never accepted that I would take no steps to get rid of you despite how I felt. Her abilities to hold a grudge are legendary," she added with a hollow, humorless chuckle. "She has despised you from the moment she became aware of your significance to General Vaas, even when I had quite accepted that there was no hope of a change. But I never expected her to... erupt."

"She will be dealt with," Natasi promised, finally looking over at [member="Marzena Choi"] once more. "I am so sorry for what you had to endure, and I can imagine that this is not necessarily something pleasant for you to hear, but I felt some context was required. Tell me what I can do to put this behind us."

 

[Marzena Vaas]

Marzena stood straighter when [member="Natasi Fortan"] finally turned; the graceful line of her profile was now visible to the singer. Based on her words, and the fact that the Grand Moff now had a bottle of gin in hand, it seemed that Marzena was about to receive bad news. “I’m fine, thank you.” Her hand gently rose to punctuate her point. The sound of her heart beating echoed harshly in her head, so that she hardly heard Natasi offer her a seat. Marzena nodded and had a seat opposite Natasi, feeling strange and a bit awkward. Her hands folded slowly and came to rest upon her knees, she let her gaze linger on her painted nails for a moment, before looking back up to meet the Moff’s eyes.

She drew in a deep breath when Natasi began to speak. Marzena merely listened to all the words that followed. The things Sioux had said no longer held up, the Moff and her PPS knew the truth behind the rumors, Natasi had known General Vaas for a very long time – each cut a little deeper than the last. But nothing compared to the stab that Marzena felt upon hearing that the Grand Moff was in love with [member="Ludolf Vaas"]. The knot in her chest pulled and strained. No woman wanted to hear that the man she loved was also the object of another woman’s affection.

And it complicated things even more when that other woman was a friend.

There were tears in Natasi’s eyes, and Marzena turned her head away. “I see...” She said weakly, struggling now to keep her own eyes dry.

Marzena looked down as Natasi continued, and she pulled at the hem of her skirt for a distraction, her hands shaky and uncertain. As the Grand Moff began to clarify that she and Ludolf had never been involved romantically, she let out a breath, only realizing then that she’d been holding it in. She supposed that these words were meant to give her a sense of relief and comfort, but it was little help. Natasi’s voice was fading to the background, she took in what she had said about confiding in Sioux, but Marzena’s mind was elsewhere.

The pieces were falling into place. She remembered the way Natasi had appeared nervous and uncomfortable upon their first meeting at the Summit on Bespin, the way she had avoided her gaze at the tea house, and the numerous forced smiles. It all made perfect sense now. Marzena felt her stomach turn, but she looked up in time to catch the sight of the Moff’s lips speaking an apology.

Just what was she supposed to think now? Dark eyes closed, and tears slipped from beneath her lashes.

“All this time...” She spoke, looking down at her lap. “You’ve been friendly to me to my face, but the moment I turned my back... I can’t imagine how much you must have hated me. And maybe, hate me still...”

This whole time, had the Moff been merely tolerating Marzena’s presence, so that she could continue to gaze at Ludolf from afar? Even if she had no intentions of interfering, the thought was still troubling.

“Does he know? That you have... feelings for him?”

There was part of Marzena that did not want to know the answer, for Ludolf had scarcely spoken Natasi’s name in presence. Perhaps there was a reason for his silence.

 

[Natasi Fortan]

Natasi watched Marzena fearfully, instinctively opening her desk drawer and producing a clean, white handkerchief. She stood and made to round the desk, but stopped, thought better of it. Getting close to Marzena would not help the situation for either of them now. So, she leaned forward and placed the handkerchief on the table directly in front of [member="Marzena Choi"], the invitation to take it clear in the act itself. She stood awkwardly for a few long moments, listening to the woman's initial attempts to process the new information she possessed. Natasi had been in this position months ago, and though she felt her torment was much worse -- being the loser, after all -- she still felt sympathetic and more than a little guilty for being the cause of discomfort for Marzena.

Finally, when Marzena had finished speaking and asking her question, Natasi sat back in her seat, cradling the glass of gin in both hands on her lap.

"It wasn't like that," Natasi said firmly. "Not all this time. Not since the day I first met you. Of course I -- what was I supposed to feel, back then, before I met you? Before I knew you? All I knew was that some pop star -- " Her voice broke off and she took a breath, steadying herself. It would be unhelpful to even recall the things she had thought when she first discovered. "Yes, I disliked you -- or, the idea of you -- for different reasons before I met you. But once I did, once I had the chance to speak to you and get a feel for who you are, I was forced to admit that I was wrong to judge you based on my own feelings." One hand balanced the glass while the other wiped tears, now flowing freely from under her eyelids, from her cheeks.

"I will not insult you by attempting to deny that it is painful to see you and General Vaas together. It is a wound that has never healed -- that may never heal -- but it isn't you, Marzena. It isn't even him, really. And you must understand that I have no ulterior motives or designs on him, none, at all. I would never do anything to interfere with his happiness, or yours. The truth is I have become rather fond of you since Bespin. In another life... " Her voice dropped off, and she inhaled deeply, her breath making an odd stuffy sound in her nose. "But we don't have another life, do we? We're stuck -- I'm stuck -- in this one. If I could switch it off..." She took another sip of gin, letting the rest of the sentence remain unsaid.

Natasi sat forward and adopted something of a more businesslike tone. "As to your question -- of course I rather think that's between he and I, but since there is nothing to hide, I don't see the point. Did he know what I felt? I have my suspicions, but I really have no idea. I always thought he recognized that there was -- something. We never discussed it. We had a nation to build and besides, I have no reason to think that he would so much as look at me." She smirked into her drink, keeping her head bowed, but her nostrils stung and when she spoke again, her voice was an octave higher, clearly struggling to remain smooth. "After all, next to you, who ever could? Who ever would?"

"I never mentioned it to him, until -- you see, there was always something that prevented me from speaking. Fear, I suppose. Fear that he would reject me. Fear that he would accept me. Fear that he would prefer another to me. It would make working together impossible, I thought. Well, wasn't I right? We haven't spoken for months -- too messy, too awkward. But, I suppose, I am the instrument of it all. I behaved foolishly, and I have been paid out for my cowardice and folly. When I was declared dead, my will was executed. I bequeathed a few items to L-- to General Vaas," she amended, looking down into her drink. "One of which was a letter that expressed my hopes for the First Order's success under his leadership, my advice to him on matters of state, and my regret for not saying what I felt when I was alive. It was delivered, but I don't know if he ever opened it, or read it." She shrugged. "I can assume that he did by the way our paths have deliberately never crossed since my return to the capital."

She set her now-empty glass on the desk and unscrewed the bottle, poured another measure. It was going to be a long, long night. "I'm sorry you had to find this out, particularly like this. Marzena, I would give anything to spare you this."

 

[Marzena Vaas]

Marzena sat as still as she could, despite the slight shaking of her shoulders and uneven breathing. She angled her head away slightly, refusing to meet [member="Natasi Fortan"]’s eyes for a moment. But out of the corner of her eyes, she clearly spied the Grand Moff’s pale hand setting a handkerchief down in front of her. Marzena waited until Natasi had walked back around to the other side of the desk, and then lifted the soft cotton square to her eyes. The fabric came away wet with tears, and slightly smudged with eyeshadow; her mascara was waterproof – thank goodness.

Her hands lowered the handkerchief to her lap, listening to Natasi’s voice speaking steadily. But when there was a slight pause, Marzena looked up to see that the Grand Moff’s face was now stained with tears as well. There were cold-hearted women out in the galaxy, some that would have relished the sight of a so-called-friend in tears, but Marzena was not one of them. It did not please her to see Natasi suffer, not at all. Even though her feelings towards Natasi were less friendly at the moment, she imagined that the pain of a broken heart was not easy to live with. There may have been a slight sting of guilt inside her at that moment, knowing that she was part of the cause.

“I understand,” Marzena nodded her voice a little stronger now. “I’m sorry it hurts you to see us together, I can’t imagine...” She trailed off, and drew in a deep breath. “But you will see us together more and more, we –” There had been a brief second when she had almost let the news of her pregnancy slip, but she pressed her lips together. It was not the time or the place for such an announcement. “We have a future together; at least, I think so.” Marzena’s voice was soft, she was not trying to brag or add salt to Natasi’s open wounds. She let her eyes drift to the side as the Moff took another sip of gin.

“I didn’t mean to pry – I was simply curious.” Marzena interjected, but nodded when Natasi said that there was nothing to hide, and listened to the response that came next. These were all things that Ludolf had kept quiet, and she wondered if he had been suffering in silence this whole time. Even though she had not done anything wrong, she couldn’t help but feel like she had driven a wedge between a friendship... and maybe something more. But Marzena did not like to think about a future where Ludolf was not in her life, so she banished these thoughts immediately. There was no use dwelling on what could have been.

“Yes, perhaps it was better to live in ignorance... in bliss.” Marzena said sadly, she had not been expecting to make such discoveries this night. “But where does this leave us now?” She shrugged her shoulders and heaved a sigh. Her hands looked down towards her clutch; instinctively pulled out a golden compact and a bullet of lipstick. “Whenever I was upset, my mother would always tell me to put on some lipstick and pull myself together.”

And that’s just what she did.

After a moment, there was a fresh coat of red on Marzena’s lips, and her eyes were now free of smudged makeup. Though she was a pale shadow of her usual self, at least she didn’t look like too much of a hot mess. She spared a thought for Ludolf’s dinner; he was probably starving by now. Marzena began to gather her things, and rose gracefully from her seat.

“We could never have truly been friends...” Marzena reflected with a frown, “And I don’t think we can, while you still... you know.” She took a step back from the Moff’s desk, but let her eyes meet Natasi’s gaze. “It’s not because I don’t like you, Natasi, I do. But it will be a bit strange, knowing – knowing what I know now.”

 

[Natasi Fortan]

It was difficult to believe that [member="Marzena Choi"] could be so insensitive, Natasi thought, after everything she had heard today. She could understand the singer being uncomfortable -- everyone would be uncomfortable with that kind of information. But her words displayed a complete lack of tact, and some measure of cruelty, however small. In later days, Natasi would refine these opinions, and while she wouldn't be happy with the result of the meeting, she would put Marzena's comments into perspective. Look on them in a better light. Understand that Marzena was a shocked woman who had just discovered painful news about her lover. But in that moment...

In that moment, Natasi felt her sympathy dry up entirely. She gritted her teeth. "Do you think I don't know that?" she demanded harshly across the desk. "Do you think that I don't see it? Do you think I need to be told? Or do you think that what I've said today is a lie? That I intend on some plot to separate you? By the Balance, Marzena, if you only knew." She stood up and paced away from her desk towards the window, her eyes scanning the traffic lanes weaving over the city in the distance. The nerve of this woman to gloat. She must have known what it cost Natasi to lay her feelings bare, and to respond in this way -- it was like a punch to the gut. "I have known [member="Ludolf Vaas"] essentially my entire adult life. I know that he doesn't do anything -- casually." The words caught in her throat and she looked over her shoulder. "If you can't trust me after everything I've done, at least trust him."

"As for your future," Natasi said bitterly. "You need not remind me. I have been preparing for your... wonderful, happy future with General Vaas for months. More, I daresay, than you or he would ever think to realize. And why would you? Ludolf will do as he pleases. You -- well." A derisive snort, and she didn't finish the sentence. "I recognized certain qualities in you when we met, Ms. Choi. Qualities that I believed would make you a good match for the General. He has it in him to go the whole distance, you know. Supreme Commander. Supreme Leader, before it's all over, Balance forbid anything should happen to the Supreme Leader." She didn't look away from the window. "But you don't understand the culture of our military. Vaas perhaps doesn't want to understand it. To set up shop with some bauble of a woman -- a celebrity -- would have denigrated him in their eyes. Oh, they probably wouldn't have revolted, they probably wouldn't even have complained, but they would have lost some respect for the man himself. As I said, it's not because of you, but more the public perception of pop stars generally. And obviously, I couldn't let that happen." She half-turned, smirking sarcastically. What a very strange conversation, she thought. "Not to him. Not to the First Order. Not to you. As I said, I like you very much. You're not a bit like what I expected."

Natasi turned back to the window. "The solution was to get the public, and the military, to see you as I did -- conscientious, dedicated -- not just a pop star but civic-minded. That is why I have organized favorable coverage of your services to the First Order in the state media. That is why I have encouraged your involvement in the Ministry of Culture -- over the strong objections of Minister Calinda, I might add, who didn't like that I was meddling in his department's prerogatives." Natasi lifted her head, stretched her neck. It felt good to let it out, at last. "Quite right, he is, I think."

She returned to her seat, standing behind it with her hands on the top of the backrest. Natasi watched Marzena carefully as the singer decided the fate of their friendship. It seemed so easy for her to discard Natasi like some used piece of paper. Crumpled, tossed away without a thought whether it would find the wastepaper basket. She let the singer's declaration hang in the air for a moment, leaning over to pick up her drink. She drained the glass, cleared her throat. "Obviously," Natasi said coldly. Her demeanor rapidly blowing through frosty towards glacial. "That is entirely up to you." She set her glass down with a hard plunk! on the table. "I can see that my involvement in your life causes you distress. Allow me to rectify that. I will no longer interfere in the Ministry of Culture, nor in the media, nor anywhere else as far as you are concerned. I should hate to make you uncomfortable with my efforts on your behalf. If you wish to continue your work at the Ministry you will report to Minister Calinda. Don't worry -- I'll let him know you're coming."

She pulled her chair back and sat down. Natasi stared across the table at Marzena, her red-rimmed eyes now angry as well as sad. "It must be so easy to decide to be rid of me when you have him to go home to. But you'll forgive me if I can't picture myself the mustache-twirling villain in your narrative considering that fact." She straightened, rested a hand on the controls for the privacy locks. "Have we said all we have to say to one another? I doubt we will have much opportunity in the future. I won't keep you if you've nothing left to add," she said dismissively. "But as you go, consider what it is to throw away a friend, an ally -- a resource." She paused and stood, packing her gin bottle back into the box with the glasses, then sealed the lid.

 

[Marzena Vaas]

Marzena’s remarks had hit a nerve, and the claws came out. The celebrity had not been trying to start a scene, but the lime-light is where she felt most at home, and perhaps sometimes, she could not help it. As she listened to [member="Natasi Fortan"] speak through gritted teeth, Marzena felt her own jaw growing tight and her eyes narrowing. She let the Moff speak, listened to the woman’s voice growing strong. Marzena felt her lips part several times to interrupt, but she merely looked forward, her gaze cold and hard. Of course, the two women would never have come to blows, not with fists at least... but words got the job done just as easily.

Her hand closed around her bag, her nails digging into the expensive leather, where there would be half-moon marks help her remember this night. As if she needed a reminder...

As Natasi went on, speaking to the future that she had been preparing for, Marzena felt her cheeks growing hot again. Her arms crossed in front of her, she hugged her bag close to her chest, turning slightly to view the Moff from the side as she stood near the window. There was a flare of anger inside at being referred to as a ‘bauble of a woman’, and the suggestion that her relationship with the General would tarnish his reputation. Marzena merely cast her eyes towards the wall to her right, refusing to gaze upon Natasi for the moment.

The corner of her eye twitched. She knew by now that the staff at the Ministry of Culture merely tolerated her, and she also knew that Natasi had played a large part in her involvement. Marzena had thought that the Moff had taken an interest in her ideas, and perhaps had wanted to help her turn over a new leaf... but now; she saw things as they really were. It hurt the most, because she knew that there was truth to her words, not that she would openly admit it now.

“So, I owe it all to you?” Marzena perked a brow, “Well, then. You have my gratitude, Grand Moff Fortan.” She bowed her head reverently, but there were distinct notes of bitterness in her tone.

Dark eyes watched as Natasi lowered herself down into her seat once more, and they came to match the Moff’s gaze. Marzena felt torn in that moment – Natasi had been a friend, an ally and a helpful resource, she could not deny that. But emotions had a way of clouding judgement. “Yes, I believe we are quite finished.” She nodded, searching through her clutch until she located a pair of dark glasses. Her slender fingers brought the glasses into place, obscuring the frustration, anger, and sadness in her eyes.

Marzena turned swiftly, flipped her hair over her shoulder, and stomped out of the room – walking with angry steps, the way a runway model might. As she rounded the corner out of the room, her shoulders slumped slightly and she reached up to rub the side of her forehead. There were things that she instantly regretted, but there was still a fury inside that did not let her completely acknowledge this now. Her eyes caught sight of the brown bag clutched in her hand, and she turned back towards Ludolf’s office. She couldn't see him like this.

“Excuse me,” She called to his secretary. “Please give this General [member="Ludolf Vaas"] for me. I was going to join him, but something has come up.”

She started to walk away, but turned back to the other woman.

“There’s a salad in there, if you’re hungry.”

Marzena attempted a smile, but let it fade the moment she turned away, her steps carrying her towards the lifts.

“I’m afraid I’ve lost my appetite.”

 

[Natasi Fortan]

Natasi watched her leave, her dark eyes clouding. Her heart rate continued to pound for a few long moments as she processed the conversation. The nerve of the woman -- further evidence that Natasi's initial impulses might not have been very far from the mark. The Grand Moff punched a key on her desk comm unit, opening a channel to her secretarial pool outside. "Get me Minister Calinda." There was a pause, then a confirmation, and Petyr Calinda greeted with a Yes, this is Calinda.

"Petyr? Natasi Fort -- yes. Yes. Oh, yes. Yes, Petry. Perfectly well, thank you. Yes. And you? Good. G -- yes. And Marie? Good." Natasi rolled her eyes as the Minister of Culture yammered on in her ear. Finally, she could take no more and cut across him. "Petyr, I'm calling about [member="Marzena Choi"]. Yes. I know we've discussed -- yes. And I've reconsidered. I think -- yes, Petyr -- and you're absolutely right. I don't want to micromanage. No. No, I don't think -- no, don't fire her. I just want you to -- right. Well, it's your Ministry, Petyr. Yes. Yes, yes. Of course. Thank you so much, Petyr. Speak to you soon." She rang off, replacing the receiver for a moment before picking it up again.

"Jackie, at the State Media Publisher's," Natasi ordered. "Jackie, Grand Moff Fortan. Very well, thank you. And you? Good, wonderful. Look, I know it's late, I'm sorry to call at this hour. Can you just do me a quick favor? Just pull everything we were going to run on Marzena Choi. Yes... well, you know celebrities. Privacy concerns. Ha -- yes, you know. We must have some filler somewhere. Oh, whatever you can find. Thank you Jackie. I'll be available by comm -- yes, or directly to the Concordia. Thank you so much. Good night!"

Natasi picked up her coat; her body felt like it was made of lead. She left, stopping at Conference Room Alpha on the way. "Sioux, you're going to take a month-long, unpaid leave of absence during which time you will reflect upon what it meant for me to put my trust and confidence in you and have you betray it. You have made a fool of yourself, and of me, and I absolutely will not tolerate this behavior again. Speak to Human Resources. You will rejoin the Concordia at a to-be-determined port-of-call." Sioux opened her mouth to respond but Natasi held up a hand. "No. Don't talk. Don't stay. Get your things and get out of this building. Gentlemen, please see to it."

As she headed for the turbolift, an assistant hurried up to her, but Natasi simply said: "I'm done for the night. Whatever it is, it can wait until tomorrow."

There are vows, there are ties
There are needs, there are standards
There are shouldn'ts and shoulds

Fin.