Private Shattered Pieces

[Simon Meinrad]

C A V A L I E R
CORUSCANT | JEDI TEMPLE
Zhea Nox

SOMBER​

Finally.

It was over.

It was a small triumph to end this fight with the Dark Jedi, the dark warrior buried by the knowledge he desperately craved for. It was a moment to escape, but they had to be quick about it. Simon did not care about taking advantage of killing the unconscious Fallen Jedi. No, Zhea’s wellbeing took precedent over anything.

Even with the threat incapacitated there was still some tension in the air. He knew; she knew it. It was because of giving into the temptation of the Dark Side. To acquire a power to save Zhea and destroy his enemies. He had promised to never give in, but the truth was he would always fear to lose Zhea.

Isn’t that what love is? To do whatever was necessary to protect those who were loved the most?

“Zhea,” finally breaking the silence between the two. “Are-are you okay?”

They could get through this, no? What could prevent them from moving forward?

 

[Zhea Nox]

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MEET ME ON THE BATTLEFIELD​

How did it all go so drastically wrong?

She'd still been on her knees trying to regain her breath after Kaleb let her go, when she got both blinded by a bright light before getting flung to the side by the tail-end of a Force Blast meant to hit Kaleb that had still been somewhere behind her.

In the silence that followed, Zhea groaned herself to her knees once more, coughing up blood as she did so while pain shot through her body. She thought that there must at least be one broken rib after that blast, if not more damage.

“Zhea, are-are you okay?”

The Kiffar froze, pain piercing through her heart at his voice. A tear rolled down her face, but she refused to look at him.
"No." she said hoarsely yet filled with emotion before another bloody cough wracked through her.

With an immense struggle, she got to her feet. Folded almost double, she gripped onto her pain-filled side while she started limping toward the door of the archives, summoning the hilt of her saber back toward her as she went.

She needed space. She had no idea how to deal with him right now.

 

[Simon Meinrad]

C A V A L I E R
CORUSCANT | JEDI TEMPLE
Zhea Nox

SOMBER​

"No."

He was hurt when she didn’t bother to look at him. There was no excuse for his actions, but could she not understand why he did what he needed to do? He hoped to put this incident behind them, but that hope dwindled when she got to her feet and limped towards the doors of the archives.

He was confused, lost on what to do next. The battle still lingered across Coruscant as the faint echoes of blaster fire could be heard. There were still dark forces within the temple. He couldn’t leave her, especially in her fatigue state.

“Zhea, wait!” his voice was pleading for her as he stood up and followed her, also having a limp in his steps. There was distance between them as he followed her.

“Wait, please,” again imploring to her. “Do you…do you plan to just leave me?”

The thought of it scared him, and from that fear a little bit of anger swelled in him.

“The Jedi turned against me; don’t you turn against me.” The Jedi always had their back against him when he entered the temple to train as a Jedi. Always subjected to criticisms and other harsh comments. Only Zhea was the one who made his time in the temple tolerable.

And now she walked away from him, back turned against him as the Jedi once did.

 

[Zhea Nox]

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HURRICANE​

She wanted to claw out her heart for how much it was hurting.

Zhea's steps were faltering with every plea he made, but she kept moving toward the door, struggling against the tears. She had just gripped onto the doorframe when he hurled words at her that finally broke her will.

“The Jedi turned against me; don’t you turn against me.”

Her fingers dug into the wall, head bowed as she fought to even her breathing enough to speak.
"Why did you have to play that card, Simon?" she asked softly, her back still toward him. The shattered pieces of her heart had a spark of anger finally welling up in her. Lifting her head, she took a breath before turning to face him, pain, hurt and anger all flashing across her face as she looked at the man she loved more than anything. "Why pin this on me when YOU ARE THE ONE THAT WENT BACK ON YOUR WORD!" For the first time in her life, emotion had her raising her voice.

Unbidden, mixed tears of hurt and anger started flooding down her face and a sob broke through before she looked away, hastily wiping at the wetness in her eyes, trying to pull herself together. After a couple of breaths, she cleared her throat before asking him a soft question.

"Do you really think I can just pretend like nothing happened?"

 

[Simon Meinrad]

C A V A L I E R
CORUSCANT | JEDI TEMPLE
Zhea Nox

TANGLED UP​

"Why pin this on me when YOU ARE THE ONE THAT WENT BACK ON YOUR WORD!"

He had seen her angry before, but never as wrathful when she raised her voice mid sentence as she addressed him, finally looking at him. Mixed emotions glared at him, he was too stunned to speak. He knew he failed her as he broke his promise to her, though he did not feel as guilty as he should have knowing what he did saved Zhea and allowed them to be in each other’s presence.

It was all too complicated with her gifts in the Force. Being an empath to stream emotions in her like a conduit. It gave her strength, but also afflicted her such as today with the corruption, Sunwalker’s descent to darkness, and Simon using the Dark Side.

A moment of silence filled the void, Zhea regaining herself as he wiped away the tears he caused her. She was soft spoken when she raised a question to him.

"Do you really think I can just pretend like nothing happened?"

“I know what I did, and I know I failed you,” admitting his mistakes. Honesty was one of his redeeming qualities aside from his prowess as a warrior. “But I couldn’t allow that…that vermin- that monster harm you. I wasn’t going to stand idly while he attacked you. I took action; I did what I needed to do to save you.”

The thought of her being impaled by Sunwalker’s crimson lightsaber made him to look away from Zhea, his eyes watery as he held back the tears slipping from his eyelids.

“Zhea,” turning his head to face his beloved, “I will never hold you in a glass prism as you told me, but I will never hold back to make sure I get to have another day with you.”

Even if I have to give up my soul.

He wouldn’t dare to cite that to her. A quiet secret of his to keep, so he wouldn’t cause anymore distress onto her.

“You are my future, Zhea; you’re everything to me. And I won’t live in this Galaxy without you.”

“I love you.”

 

[Zhea Nox]

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HURRICANE​

His words hit home.

Zhea's eyes closed briefly against the emotion and exhaustion.
"Simon..." It was barely even a whisper as the weight of what he said settled on her. How in the Force was she meant to live with herself knowing it was solely because of her that he tore down the final barrier between him and damnation?

Taking a breath, she looked at him again, completely disarmed from her anger as resignation settled on her face. She limped closer to him, grimacing at the pain shooting through her side as she did so.

The Kiffar stopped a breath away from him, catching herself before she reached for him. She wanted nothing more than to forgive and forget, but how?
"I love you too, more than anything." she told him. "It's because of that, that I can't continue being the reason you keep sacrificing who you are." She braced against the sudden clenching of her heart. "You are becoming one of the people you have fought your entire life against because of me and..." She swallowed the lump in her throat before stepping backward. She needed the space before her resolve crumbled.
"I can't be yours knowing I am the cause of this. I'm sorry." Her voice broke toward the end and she had to clamp a hand over her mouth to stop a sob from escaping. She couldn't believe what she just said.

She needed him as much as he needed her. What the hell was she doing?

 

[Simon Meinrad]

C A V A L I E R
CORUSCANT | JEDI TEMPLE
Zhea Nox

TANGLED UP​

His words did their effects as the Kiffar was more tranquil and gradually inched over to Simon. Could she finally see how much she meant to him? He would go beyond to make sure she stayed alive no matter the cost. Hell, he would even sacrifice the Galaxy just for her. Nothing mattered more than his love for the Sage.

But then second doubts clouded her as she stopped to fall into his embrace. He was confused as to why until she spoke, offering her explanations to him. Why did she worry so much for his spiritual state? He was strong to not doom himself to Chaos should he need to use the Dark Side. It wasn’t selfish to save the woman he loved and to bring an end to all Bogan disciples.

I do not fear the Dark Side.

A strange paradox. He did not fear the powers of the Dark Side, yet his fear of loss potentially made him a slave.

"I can't be yours knowing I am the cause of this. I'm sorry."

His face flinched. She couldn’t mean that, not when she seemed to regret it immediately afterwards. He tried to make sense of it, taking a step forward as she backed away from him.

“You don’t mean that. I know you don’t mean that, and so do you,” trying to have her listen to reason.

“Trust in me, my love. Trust in me as I trust you. I know things are uncertain, but I know together we can overcome any obstacle. I need you. I’m only half a heart without you as I was all those years ago when I walked away from the Order. My life and destiny are intertwined with you.”

Now and forever.

 

[Zhea Nox]

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HURRICANE​

His flinching made her feel even worse.

Now that she was confronted with the reality of what she said, she didn't know if she would actually be able to walk away from him. Could she do that to him? To herself?

“You don’t mean that. I know you don’t mean that, and so do you,”

She was at war with herself, her love for him clashing heavily with her Lightsided nature. She was at a loss of which way to turn.
"I..." she started as he approached her. Feeling like a deer in headlights, she no longer had anywhere to retreat to with her back against the wall. She had no choice but to face him now and decide what road their relationship would take.

But he beat her to it.

Saying what they had said so many times before - that they can overcome any obstacle. They usually could, but was this one too far? Could they get past what happened here? Could she forget the look on his face and the way he spoke to her? But then he spoke more and it finally chipped away the last of her resolve.

She did step forward then to wrap her arms around his waist, a few more tears leaking from her eyes.
"All right. But we need to talk about you using the Dark Side." she said against his cuirass. "It physically hurts me when you do and..."
Just then the temple shuddered from some explosions outside before holobooks began to slowly fall from the mound that had buried Kaleb. Zhea pulled away from him, trying hard not to panic. She was definitely not in a state to fight.

"I guess our time is up for now. We should go."

 

[Simon Meinrad]

C A V A L I E R
CORUSCANT | JEDI TEMPLE
Zhea Nox

TANGLED UP​

There shouldn’t be any tension between them. A love like this shouldn’t erect barriers between them. They faced enough barriers during their youth, sadly preventing them from confessing their affections to each other up until recently. It would be a pain for the two to separate from each other; it would’ve driven both of them insane from the lack of peace they gave to each other.

To his relief she stepped forward and embraced him, Simon held her as if he feared she’d disappear should he release her. He could feel the anxiety releasing from his heart, being able to breathe with ease and his mind free from trouble. She began to speak regarding to her feelings about him using the Dark Side only to be interrupted by the explosions shaking the Temple.

"I guess our time is up for now. We should go."

A topic for another time. Now they had to flee from safety. He did not care for the Jedi or the Sith. They could tear each other down to the last man. They could reduce Coruscant to ash. He was indifferent for whoever triumphed. What mattered to him now was Zhea and her wellbeing.

“What hurts you? I know you’re limping, what can I do to help you? Bacta?”

The slower their pace, the more likely they would be in peril. Not only that, but they needed to find a way to safely leave the Temple. The main entrance was probably crawling with Jedi and Dark Siders making it impossible to escape from there.

“Any idea how to get out of here, love?”

 

[Zhea Nox]

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HURRICANE​

She may have chosen to stay with him, but she was still conflicted about the situation.

They definitely weren't done talking about it and she had resolved that it would be the last time. She wasn't going to do this with every battle they happened to find themselves in. It needed to stop or she would have to leave.

Zhea had just turned to walk out the door when he spoke up.

“What hurts you? I know you’re limping, what can I do to help you? Bacta?”

The Sage's jaw clenched as she hesitated for a moment.
"I'm fine." she finally said, perhaps a bit colder than she meant it to be, before she continued walking. Consciously she tried her hardest to limit the limp and grit her teeth against the pain shooting from her side.

She searched her memories for the different passageways that could lead from the temple. Simon seemed to have the same idea as he asked her about a different way out.
"There should be another area not far from here, toward the Council Chambers. Hopefully it's still intact and not fallen in yet." she said flatly as she struggled forward. The temple seemed ready to fall in on itself. Out here in the hallways, the damage to the structure was so much more visible than it was in the Archives.

There was a time where it would have plagued her. She thought it still meant something to her which is why she insisted they come here. But looking at it now and all the heartache and struggles that occurred around this place, it felt hollow, devoid of the Light it was supposed to carry. It had failed so many Jedi that had returned here, corrupted by the Dark Side, seeking vengeance against those that had failed them. Was it truly surprising that a new and more radical sect of Jedi had risen up against the Order? It saddened her greatly that it was the case. That the place that was supposed to stand as a bastion of Light had fallen into such disarray in the time she had been away. It was time to put it behind her and instead focus on the true values of a Jedi.

She led the way toward their destination. As they got closer to it, however, the sound of battle in the hallways grew louder. She hesitated, looking at Simon with a question on her face as her hand clenched around her saber hilt.

What now?

 

[Simon Meinrad]

C A V A L I E R
CORUSCANT | JEDI TEMPLE
Zhea Nox

TANGLED UP​

She wasn’t fine. What made her stubborn to not accept his help? Distrust? Anger and resentment? He wouldn’t intervene unless it would get worse or she asked for his help. Although they both reconciled the air between them was a bit uneasy. It was unlike their first argument back on Teth as this was more consequential.

What he would give to find an abandoned shuttle and fly home to Teth.

The couple slowly walked with Zhea taking point, guiding to the secret passageway she knew of. If the Archives was a disaster, it didn’t compare to the rest of the Temple’s interior. Truly, it was twisted than it had ever been. Balance was out of place, and it would be maligned until the next promising generation of Jedi. It even soured his mood, and surprising as he held no sympathy for the Order.

As they furthered away from the heat of battle they came across more fights near the hallways. The clash of lightsabers was fierce, and the Dark Side lingered about across the corridors’ walls. His mind readied to battle, but then restrained himself when Zhea’s eyes looked at him with worrisome riddled in her face. He knew she was uncertain of what would happen.

They could retreat and find another way.

Or they could face this obstacle together.

No matter what, there would be some form of adversary to face. What mattered, however, was what would happen in those events? Fatigue seeped their strength and Zhea was weak from her injury. Then there was the question of Simon being able to resist the temptation of the Dark Side.

"All right. But we need to talk about you using the Dark Side." "It physically hurts me when you do and..."

He didn’t want to fail Zhea, nor cause her any affliction. Why was it difficult to balance honoring her wishes and doing whatever was necessary to defend her and himself?

“Stay behind me,” he gently said to the Kiffar and stepped in front to take point. He would always be her shield and rock; someone to give her strength and comfort against the hostile unknown.

 

[Zhea Nox]

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I'M NOT READY FOR THIS​

A twinge of guilt shot through her as she watched his face.

It was clear that some kind of thoughts flashed through his mind and she was certain some of it had to do with her. As conflicted as she was about the entire situation, she still loved him and it pained her to see the struggle she was inadvertently putting him through.

If only they could turn back time.

Then she wouldn't feel like she wanted to tear her hair out of her head. The whole thing was a mess that she was at a loss how to resolve it. She was too close to it. There was no way she could think objectively about any of it.

“Stay behind me,”

Zhea wanted to protest but she knew she'd be more of a liability than a help in her current state. She nodded and let him pass to take point, but a cold premonition shot up her spine in that moment. Shoving her inner conflict aside, she grabbed hold of his hand.
"Simon, wait." she said, stepping forward and, gritting through the pain, kissed him on the cheek. "Be careful. I don't want to resolve this over your grave." And she meant it. She wanted to have the discussion with him still breathing and speaking and capable of folding her into his arms afterward.

She then let him go, resolving to provide whatever Force assistance as she could. She was in no state to swing a lightsaber, but she could manage some Light when needed. She still gripped her saber hilt, but would only use it if absolutely necessary.

She just hoped that he would take a more tempered road than he did in the archives.

 

[Simon Meinrad]

C A V A L I E R
CORUSCANT | JEDI TEMPLE
Zhea Nox

FALL​

He felt he could conquer a system with the simple kiss she left on his cheeks. All the anger, all the fury, all the negative emotions he burdened abated by the love and affection Zhea held for him. The love they shared was all he really needed to carry on without resorting to the temptation of the Dark Side. It was an objective truth, but sadly he was flawed and imperfect. He could only try to be better for himself and for Zhea.

Maybe after all of this he would bend a knee and ask her to be his forever. Retire their lightsabers and enjoy the rest of their time together. After today, he was tired fighting for the Galaxy. She was his world and protecting her mattered more than whatever Alliances or Empires striving for power.

He held her hand for moment longer, hesitating to let go before giving a squeeze when his hand slid out of hers.

He walked forwards, making steady progress before stopping in his tracks. Two warriors approached him, a master and an apprentice. They wore the typical dark robes a Sith would wear, and in their lust for violence and death they charged him. Simon’s strength matched their ferocity, even after the draining battle he faced against Sunwalker. It was important to take initiative in the offensive, knowing the moment he was passive would doom him.

However, it wouldn’t be enough. He could accept the Dark Side to outmatch the Sith, but out of love for Zhea he refused. His strength was overwhelmed by the coordination of the two dark disciples, the duraplast armor enduring against the lightsaber strikes. It was inevitable for him to lose because of his performance when the master’s lightsaber severed the forearm from his elbow on Simon’s predominant arm. He was defenseless, and now tormented when arcs of Force Lightning inflicted upon him. His screams bellowed throughout the hallway, and he was sure Zhea would hurry to rescue him.

But he couldn’t allow that.

Run.

He whispered to her telepathically.

Run away.

Please.

 

[Zhea Nox]

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SACRIFICE​

It was a hard thing to let go.

Something inside her screamed at her not to. She was angry and disappointed but none of it ever diminished her love for him. There was no knowing what what was going on in the next corridor and to have to admit that he'll have to go at it mostly alone was the worst feeling in the Galaxy.

She watched him go with a deep seated worry in her heart, all previous feelings shoved to the side. They could be handled later. For now, they needed to get to safety and the easiest way to get to it was theoretically through that corridor. Outside an entire army lay between them and safety. For good measure, she channeled what resolve she could manage through their bond toward him. It wasn't much but it was something.

She should never have insisted to come here.

Zhea had been chewing her bottom lip as she lagged behind, hovering close to the corner of the corridor while it hurt to breathe to fully, when the clash of sabers broke through her worry and inner babble.

She had just pulled the Force even closer around herself while her hand was absent mindedly wrapped around her ever-present necklace when Simon's screams pierced both her ears as well as her soul as the pain channeled through their bond.

A hurricane of emotions swept through her in a flash - shock and fear of losing him right at the forefront. Where a heartbeat before, she was utterly frozen, she now moved before even realising it. Fear drove her as she hurried, broken ribs forgotten for the moment as her saber ignited.

Run away.

Please.

His pain-filled whisper swept through her mind. Zhea's face hardened and she didn't respond. Did he really think she'd leave him behind? As she rounded the corner, the sight that greeted her unleashed something in the Kiffar she never knew she held.

For once in her life, emotion fueled her Light and the crystal around her neck sprang to life channeling the Force as well.
"Get away from him." she hissed before a Light brighter than she had ever produced before, burned through the hallway and the two Sith, purging whatever shadow remained anywhere in the vicinity. She then immediately followed up by flinging the severed and weakened enemies away with a powerful Push while her usual blue eyes shone a uniform silver.

The power abated immediately as she hurried over to the love of her life now that the danger has passed. Tears stung at her eyes as she fell to her knees next to him, her hands immediately flying across his body, channeling the little healing that she knew to try and bring him from the brink of death. Fear that he would not make it had the tears spilling over her cheeks as she her eyes were squeezed shut with concentration.

"No, Simon, please..." she sobbed while she still channeled the healing Force, mediocre as it was.