Private Separate Ways - Worlds Apart [Complete]

[Katarine Ryiah]

Here we stand​

Location: Space
Objective: Visit
Tags: Connel Vanagor


The Northstar drifted in the soft, cerulean glow of the Enterprise Station Ship's flight beacons, its engines humming a low, steady patience she did not feel. Katarine Ryiah stood near the forward viewport, arms folded tight, watching the lines of docking traffic inch through the void. Any moment now, clearance would come. Any moment, she would have to face him.

A month and a half into her Barash Vow, the galaxy had grown strangely quiet, too quiet. No missions. No conversations. No Connel Vanagor. She had thought the isolation would steady her spirit, give her clarity after the vision that left her trembling: an attachment leading to another death. But in the stillness, the doubts had only grown sharper. She could feel the vow like a weight between her ribs, pulling her inward and away from the one person she had started to care for in ways she wasn't sure she understood.

She traced a finger absently along the cool transparisteel, thinking of the last time she and Connel had spoken with an awkward parting, riddled with things unsaid. They'd agreed they were dating. They'd shared that one, unexpected kiss. Yet she still couldn't tell how deep their connection truly ran. They communicated in half gestures, mismatched frequencies, a strange tension that hadn't existed back when she'd been younger, freer, someone who hadn't yet seen so many fractures in the galaxy or herself.

Maybe she should have asked him before taking the vow. Maybe she should have warned him. But fear had pressed too tightly around her throat, whispering of destinies she didn't want to repeat, of losing someone again because she couldn't let go.

And Force help her, she had missed him. Missed Buster too with his scruffy enthusiasm, his unshakable loyalty. She'd missed them both more than she'd ever expected was possible under the vow's discipline.

"Northstar, you are cleared for approach," the comm crackled at last.

Katarine exhaled, slow and unsteady. The moment she'd been bracing for was finally here. In the silent echo of her heart, one question rose sharper than the rest:

What does it mean to long for someone you know you must step away from?

And more frightening still, what happens when you see them again? What if he’s angry? What if he was relieved she left? What if even Buster isn’t happy to see her anymore?

Her stomach clenched tightly as she waited to board.

 

[Connel Vanagor]

NOW WHAT?
ENTERPRISE
STATION SHIP

Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
[Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]

What she would see when she entered was “Darkness”, a lot of it. No, the lights were on, but there were “Dark Holocrons” in the main foyer. The "Dark Holocrons" emitted an eerie, almost otherworldly glow, casting faint shadows across the room. Their presence hinted at ancient secrets and untold power, intent on drawing her attention despite the unsettling aura they exuded. That was all that they could do though as runes were in between her and them. Runes that were cancelling their effects.

THREAT: DO NOT MOVE! MEATBAG!

It was HK-88, the “protocol droid” that was more than this. A weapon trained on her as the droid moved out into sight.

It was not the only droid though. B5-55, an astromech rolled up, complaining, not to her, but to HK. QUEooopp-bip [TRANSLATION - “Stand down, HK. She is a Jedi Master, and has been here before.”]

DECLARATION: I am well aware of her identity. However she is no longer on the “clearance” protocols. Therefore, with the Master not here, she is …

I’m here.

Connel and Buster came walking down the corridor from the other end of the ship. They were on a trip and had returned, docking on the other side of the ship, the landing bay. Buster saw Kat first and his normally jovial demeanor transformed into sadness, he looked like he had just been called a “bad boy” and his stance changed to almost cowering, slipping between Connel’s legs.

To which the Shadow had just leaned over and scratched him comfortingly.

It’s okay, Buddy. She’s not going to hurt you.

Connel just looked up and in her general direction. He was not angry, not at all, just looking like someone who was defeated. Someone who was not really wanting to deal with this right now. She had disappeared well over a month and a half ago and the only communication from her was “I need to figure things out” basically.

Connel did not have a lot of experience around the fairer sex other than his mother. However he knew when he had been dumped.

Hi.

TAGS • Katarine Ryiah
Personal Effects - Omega Squad Loadouts - Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise​

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

Worlds apart, hearts broken in two, two, two​

Tags: Connel Vanagor

Katarine hadn’t expected a warm reception, but she also hadn’t expected weapons to be trained on her. There was no lightsaber by her side, but luckily Connel called the droid off.

Katarine looked around at the disturbing scene. Darkness everywhere and yet what broke her was seeing Buster shy away. Her deep green eyes scanned the pup, and then fell on Connel. Then suddenly the tears were falling. It was like a hallow ache had taken route, making it impossible to ignore exactly how much she had missed them.

She did nothing to stop the tears, though her insides screamed that she needed to get her emotions under control. Instead, she held out her hand and offered it to Connel.

“Can I show you?”

If he accepted she would share the vision with him she had in the cave. He would see his own body, laying limp on the floor of the cave. The warning that she was going to get someone she cared for killed again, and the realization that if she had taken the Barash Vow before she may have been able to help during Order 66. He would feel her pain, her confusion, but he’d also feel how absolutely miserable she was away from him and Buster.

If he refused of course she would understand. She had already caused them enough trouble and didn’t deserve the chance to explain. She didn’t deserve anything, or at least that was how she felt.

Katarine was utterly lost.

 

[Connel Vanagor]

NOW WHAT?
ENTERPRISE
STATION SHIP

Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
[Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]

No. He was not angry… at first…

… he was now.

He looked at her as if she had twelve heads.

So let me get this straight… you disappear… without a word… without a trace… for over a month and a half... I don’t know where you are, if you are even alive, and the only words I get from you is “I have to figure something out…” or words to that effect and now you show up out of nowhere to “show” me something?

Buster looked up at Connel and stood on his hind legs, leaning against Vanagor’s body. Connel then picked him up. Like everything is okay… He then laughed a VERY humorless laugh, shaking his head, ignoring her tears. This dog and pony show wasn’t going to work on him… not anymore.

You decided… though you guilted me into sharing everything about myself with you, that you couldn’t do the same? Then suddenly “Oh, he’s mad, I guess I should share with him now.” Is that it? I don’t care about why you left… I’ve been in your corner through all of the mud you’ve dragged me through, haven’t? All I care… all I cared about is that you couldn’t trust me with it.

He was rubbing Buster’s head with his free hand as the pup just looked at Kat like he was the one who pushed her away.

QUERY: Master. Should I elim*

No, stand down.

DEFEATED AQUIESCE: Sigh As you wish.

The “protocol” droid slinked away as Buster wanted to get down. He was not standing between Connel’s legs anymore. He was sitting between them, looking at her, as if apologizing.

TAGS • Katarine Ryiah
Personal Effects - Omega Squad Loadouts - Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise​

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

Sleepless nights, losing ground​

Tags: Connel Vanagor

He was angry now and she didn’t blame him. She hadn’t meant to hurt anybody, especially sweet innocent Buster. Her tears still continued to fall and when she spoke her voice cracked slightly.

“Connel… I am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you or Buster. It was that stupid tomb. It showed me a vision of you dead. It told me I was going to cause it again. I should have told you. But I just ran. “

She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and gasped. Why did this hurt so much? The droid offered to take care of her and he said to stand down. She pushed her tears off her face and tried to take a deep breath. She was not acting like a Jedi master was supposed to at all.

“I’m sorry.”

She took a deep breath and tried to steady herself again.

“Can we figure this out? Or should I… “ She didn’t want to finish the sentence, scared he would tell her that yes she should just go.

 

[Connel Vanagor]

NOW WHAT?
ENTERPRISE
STATION SHIP

Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
[Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]

Are you frakking kidding me?!

I am playing with house money… I should have died on Vendaxa… I’m more of a machine than man. You know all of this and you’re going to blame me for this. He very much wanted to throw her out the airlock she entered right now, but that was emotions and nothing more, Connel knew this. So that wasn’t happening.

He was about to tell her to leave when Buster slowly walked up to her sniffing. It’s not up to me.

TAGS • Katarine Ryiah
Personal Effects - Omega Squad Loadouts - Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise​

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

I'm reachin' for you, you, you​

Tags: Connel Vanagor

“So what? Just because you are already injured it’s okay if you die?” She hiccuped and stared at him, her face full of concern and slight anger now. Was that what this sudden path towards darkness was about? Did he not even care if he lived?

“I’m not blaming you. This is on me. I should have told you what happened in that tomb. I should have let you in instead of pushing you away and running with my tail between my legs. This is all on me but damn it Connel Vanagor you are infuriating! You are moody and hard to read sometimes and I never know how to make you happy! But I don’t want to see you dead! That vision scared the frak out of me! Do you think I want to be the reason your mother loses another person?!? Do you think I want to cause another Jedi death!? Do you think I just don’t care so was taking a karking vacation this past month? I don’t want you to die just because I’m stupid enough to have fallen in love with you!”

She realizes she was shouting now and closed her eyes, willing herself to calm down. Buster came up to her slowly and she knelt down, holding her hand out for the little guy.

“Hey Buddy. I’m really sorry.”

 

[Connel Vanagor]

NOW WHAT?
ENTERPRISE
STATION SHIP

Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
[Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]

An eyebrow shot up as she went off on him. It was as if accountability was her weakness. She was literally trying to put this on him so she would feel better? Was she seriously doing this?

You don’t get to have moral high ground here. His wording may be angry, but Connel was not going to let his tone get there. He remained calm, and did so not for her sake, but for Buster’s. You push me away constantly, you disappear all the time and when we see each other it is because something is haywire. Yet.I.never.leave. I never said don’t worry, but pushing me away when I just want to be involved?

He watched Buster, who was still tentative, but trying to be closer. My life is drama. You want to make me happy? Be my source of peace… and “moody and hard to read”? First of all, you are impossible to read unless you are freaking out, and I told you a long time ago why that is… several times… I’m not apologizing for being who I am as I would never ask that of you.

TAGS • Katarine Ryiah
Personal Effects - Omega Squad Loadouts - Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise​

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

Feelin' that it's gone​

Tags: Connel Vanagor

Katarine was giving him a half glaring, half apologetic look, but she noticed that Buster didn't like yelling so she was trying to be calm. She still had her hand out, but didn't want to advance on the little pup because she didn't want to scare him. All of her yelling probably wasn't helping and she knew Buster could pick up on Connel's emotions as well so that wasn't helping either. Was she ever going to stop causing trouble for the people she cared about?

When she spoke it was calm, and measured. "If we are both hard to read then maybe we are perfect for each other." She sounded moody but the edges of her lips almost quirked up into a small smile. She didn't want to fight with him, but she couldn't deny that even sitting here on the other end of his anger was far better than the month without him. It was a weird sensation to realize just how miserable she was without him.

"You are right. I made a mistake. I'm not exactly good at this. I've been running from emotions like these for a long time." Clearly she had some commitment issues. She sighed and pushed her hair behind her ear with her free hand, the one that wasn't stretched out trying to get Buster to come to her.

"I want to be your source of peace, really I do, but look at what I've already dragged into your life. I was scared. That vision of you..." She closed her mouth, unable to talk about it again. She rubbed her head.

"I'm sorry. I really am. But I don't want to lose you. Or Buster." She curled her feet under her, lowering herself even more to try to get Buster to come to her. Finally the little puppy crawled to her and cuddled into her lap. Katarine wrapped her arms around the puppy, her tears coming again but softly this time.

"I missed you both so much."

 

[Connel Vanagor]

NOW WHAT?
ENTERPRISE
STATION SHIP

Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
[Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]

His expression softened as she came around and accepted what was happening. He was not trying to be right about this, but he needed to be able to see her accepting that there was a fault in this.

You’re my first… His eyebrow went up. I don’t know why that sounds wrong, but it does.

Now it was his turn for a slight smile. I’m not going anywhere, but you have to let me. I’m no good at this either, but we have to be able to lean on each other when we need it… so.

As Buster finally climbed into her lap, Connel leaned against the wall for a moment and then sat down next to them. We missed you too.

TAGS • Katarine Ryiah
Personal Effects - Omega Squad Loadouts - Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise​

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

Can change your mind​

Tags: Connel Vanagor

When he blurted out that she was his first her eyes softened a little. They truly were the blind leading the blind here. Katarine had the physical experience but no emotional experience because she was from a time where attachment was forbidden. Connel had grown up being free to have emotions but had never had a physical relationship with another person. No wonder this was such a mess. She half smiled at him, finding it kind of poetically tragic that they were both so ill equipped for this type of thing. Maybe they could figure it out together. If she could just let him in more.

He said they had missed her too and sank down on the floor with her and she rested her head on his shoulder. For a moment she just pet Buster and listened to Connels breathing. She didn’t deserve a second chance but it seemed she was going to get one. Now if she could just not mess it up again and make a nerf of herself once more she’d be home free.

“Thanks for not letting your droid shoot me or toss me out an airlock. I kinda … destroyed my lightsaber.”

She chuckled, half amused and half apologetically. She really needed to build another one of those soon.

She sat her head up and looked at the holocrons laying around. “It looks like we both have been up to stuff. Did you figure out what any of these things contained?”

 

[Connel Vanagor]

NOW WHAT?
ENTERPRISE
STATION SHIP

Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
[Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]

Connel was about to put an arm around Kat as she rested her head on his shoulder, when Buster, ever the therapist, got up and basically set half of himself on her and half on him. I’ll let you decide which half Connel got, not that it mattered, the Shadow was too busy groaning after where one of Buster's paws hit on his “nether region”.

Don’t worry… She was apologizing, but he had to make sure she understood that things were better than she thought the entire time. HK doesn’t know it, but that’s a water gun he’s holding…

EXASPERATION: (From across the corridor) WHAT?

Smiling, not realizing the droid was within earshot, he shook his head. You also wouldn’t have been cleared to dock if I didn’t want you to be able to.

Then when she asked about the holocrons, he sighed. Just trying to understand why those who take the easy way out, do so. He was of course referring to the Dark Side, understanding how it happened. He had no desire to learn about it, just how people fall.

TAGS • Katarine Ryiah
Personal Effects - Omega Squad Loadouts - Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise​

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

If we can't go on​

Tags: Connel Vanagor

HK doesn't know it, but that's a water gun he's holding

Katarine burst into giggles, which grew when HK asked what Connel was talking about. Buster also put his little paw in a bad place and Connel groaned, making her giggle more. All of the tension in her shoulders seemed to ease as she laughed in her musical soft voice. Buster was now wagging his tail as she pet him until her laughing subsided.

“I needed that.” She grinned and scratched under the pups chin.

“I think it only starts easier. I’ve seen Sith lose their minds because of the darkside. My guess would be the easiness doesn’t last.”

Her thoughts flickered to Daxium and she sighed. Was her twin still practicing the darkside? Or was he like her now and wandering the galaxy in search of a future?

“We should get them all together and have a focus group. You know… cookies … blue milk… sounds like a party.”

 

[Connel Vanagor]

NOW WHAT?
ENTERPRISE
STATION SHIP

Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
[Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]

There was a reason why it was difficult for her to “read” him. It is because much of his presence, his very aura had always been masked.

Until now.

When she gave her insight and “suggestion”, he released his aura and for the first time, she would see a tinge of the Dark Side in him. He would remind her of his mother, of how she was once a Sith Lord(ess) and how she had taught him a lot about it. There was a reason he was STRONG against mind tricks, raids, and tests, it was because he knew the tricks thanks to her. Make no mistake, he was VERY MUCH “Light” but the darkness was there. Not a threat and not like many others had.It was a subtle, almost imperceptible presence, but it was there—a shadow of power that hinted at his lineage.

Yet, it was tempered by his discipline and the light within him, creating a unique balance. This duality made him both enigmatic and formidable. His ability to balance the light and dark within him was a testament to his strength of character. It wasn’t a struggle but a harmonious coexistence, allowing him to navigate challenges with wisdom and restraint. This rare equilibrium made him not only a formidable ally but also a symbol of true mastery over the Force, or in his case, his journey towards it.

... it’s funny that some of those who have come against me have tried to manipulate me with “understanding”, they don’t have any idea. I’m not trying to turn anyone away from anything, but the more I know, the more I can pass on and the better the next generation will be. Spoken like his father, one who always did the "heavy lifting" so that others didn't have to.

TAGS • Katarine Ryiah
Personal Effects - Omega Squad Loadouts - Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise​

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

To survive the tide, love divides​

Tags: Connel Vanagor

This shift in Connel's Force signature was subtle, but Katarine was uniquely influenced by the darkside so she felt it almost immediately. It wasn't the same dizzy feeling that she normally had aroung powerful darksiders, but rather a floating feeling one might get after a nice drink. It was subtle, pleasant even, but then again it had always been her drug of choice and look how that had turned out. But it was nice to get a better glimpse of who he was all the same. It was strangely comforting.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as he spoke about others manipulating him. She smiled at his sentiment, not because of what he was saying but because the way he said it sounded like his dad.

"It's an honorable goal. Just be careful. The road to the darkside is paved with good intentions. Or at least that's what my master told me."

She snorted and shook her head. "Wow. I can't believe I was a padawan almost nine hundred years ago, and now I'm...." She let the sentence trail off. She had no idea how to finish the thought.

"Speaking of the next generation are you currently training any padawans? I visited the Sanctuary on Naboo to visit their Order. It was nice to see a Temple full of padawns. I never thought I'd see that again, especially after Order 66 and the Galactic Alliance recently falling."

 

[Connel Vanagor]

NOW WHAT?
ENTERPRISE
STATION SHIP

Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
[Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]

Fair enough.

He was not dismissing what she was saying, but Connel was indeed a “Vanagor”, if you didn’t trust him outright, he would get you to that point. He had a way of making people feel at ease, even in the most tense situations. His calm demeanor and measured words often helped to diffuse conflicts and build trust among those around him.

Yeah, right, Connel was a buzzsaw, but he was not going to fight it.

My sister died of old age eight hundred years ago… He knew of weird family dynamics and situations.

Then she asked for any Padawans he had trained. Technically I have four, but one is ready for Knighthood and is on her trials somewhere. Two of them are on their own journey, or assignment, I don’t truly know. The last one, he is currently working with Omega Squad right now on a surveillance mission. Her mention of Shiraya Temple or Order or… anyway her mention of Shiraya just brought a nod.

They have what works for them. He would not speak idly. He knew the Grandmaster, but it was a different cultural dynamic and it was not his bag. Then again, she knew he didn’t like Naboo to begin with.

TAGS • Katarine Ryiah
Personal Effects - Omega Squad Loadouts - Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise​

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

Someday love will find you​

Tags: Connel Vanagor

She nodded when he said one of his padawans was close to being knighted, and found herself wondering if that meant Connel would be promoted to master soon? She wasn't sure how things were done these days, or if there was even a council left to promote people? The New Jedi Order was gone and as much as she had enjoyed her trip to Naboo that Order wasn't her cup of tea either.

"Maybe we can figure out what works for us someday." She smiled at him. The Hidden Path seemed to be working for him for now and maybe the Barash Vow was working for her? She wasn't all too certain truly.

"I've been thinking of teaching again. I've trained a ton of padawans but none in this time. I probably can't even turn on the lights in a Temple now a days. You kids and your new tech." She stuck her tongue at him and laughed when Buster barked.

 

[Connel Vanagor]

NOW WHAT?
ENTERPRISE
STATION SHIP

Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
[Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]

I’d just be happy to live life.

His father proved that it was possible to go out there and be a maniac with a lightsaber (proverbially speaking of course) and still be able to “come home” and sit by the pool. That is what he wanted, maybe that was a reason Connel had not really explored why he was so different with the mask on. Maybe the mask was helping him with his darker side.

Sorry, not sorry. He shrugged and half snatched at her tongue.

Then he swiped at Buster, who was all too happy to play. We need to get the galaxy good again before I really start thinking about truly teaching. He shook his head. You would know better than I do, but from what my father said… it didn’t matter what you believed as long as you could be considered “Jedi” back in the day. Now? Now you have to be nobility… like some medieval story… or if someone disagrees with you in the slightest, they hate you… or whatever… the name “JedI” doesn’t mean what it used to.[/COLOR] There was sadness in those words, but honesty.

They have what works for them. He would not speak idly. He knew the Grandmaster, but it was a different cultural dynamic and it was not his bag. Then again, she knew he didn’t like Naboo to begin with.

TAGS • Katarine Ryiah
Personal Effects - Omega Squad Loadouts - Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise​

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

Tags: Connel Vanagor


“Hey!” She laughed as he tried to grab her tongue and Buster started playing too. Kat had laughed more times in the past hour than she had all month. It was really nice to be around both of them again.

His description of nobility made her chuckle. “I don’t know anything about that. I put my blue jeans on one leg at a time like any backwater nobody does.”

This much was true. Katarine wasn’t royalty or nobility or anything of the sort. She was just a faceless cog in the Jedi machine, but that helped her blend in undercover so she didn’t mind it. She wasn’t sure when it would be time to back to flirting with or scamming criminals to catch them but she wasn’t in any rush. What he was saying about what the Shiraya Jedi Order made her nod, especially his statement that the galaxy needed to be good again before there would be any true rest.

“During the High Republic there were a lot of different concepts of Jedi, that is true. Now… it’s weird. There are so many splintered groups but no overall agreement. At least back in the day we had a governing Council. Now it seems each splinter group has their own the Jedi have no unity and thus they don’t agree on what a Jedi is. I don’t think it’s a great strategy to keep the galaxy in the light, but I’m not a politician so I’ve never really tried to think of alternatives.”

She sighed and fiddled with her hair for a second.

“I think you are right though. We do have to do something or the only Jedi left will be the blue bloods.”

 

[Connel Vanagor]

NOW WHAT?
ENTERPRISE
STATION SHIP

Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
[Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]

He was glad just to be moved on from the drama. There was more than enough of it going around and at least now they could just be who they were. Was it cutesy and contrite? Sure, probably, but it was better than facing trouble every waking moment.

I don’t care if other Jedi take to my approach. That’s their business, but when we have sentients out there who claim to be Jedi who are ready to fight each other… that’s a problem. Connel shook his head and then seemed to have an epiphany.

There are a crap-ton of Temples under our watch. Why don’t we put them together and not just collecting dust? This seemed to come together for him in real time.

The Shadow Temple… the Temple of the Elements… the Shadow Sanctuary… Everest Vale ‘s Temple on Eshan. Master Valery Noble ‘s Temple on New Cov. Who is to say that they cannot be used for separate purposes but the same umbrella? Keep the census smal so they do not draw attention and teach in a more refined and direct manner?

TAGS • Katarine Ryiah
Personal Effects - Omega Squad Loadouts - Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise​