Approved Tech Sentinel Uniform MK I

[Taji Nelson]

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

• Intent: To sub an armor for Taji that also can be mass produced.
• Image Source: Here
• Canon Link: N/A
• Permissions:
  https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/716518392219172905/721117887074664568/unknown.png
  https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/716518392219172905/721484455486947408/unknown.png
• Primary Source:
  https://www.starwarsrp.net/threads/hard-light-weaponry-mk-1.138910/#post-1918296
  https://www.starwarsrp.net/threads/tn-02-shocker-bullets.138944/#post-1918295
  https://www.starwarsrp.net/threads/tl-10-portable-fusion-reactor.139432/
  https://www.starwarsrp.net/threads/escrima-shock-sticks.139665/

PRODUCTION INFORMATION

• Manufacturer: Taji Nelson / Locke and Key Mechanics / Tanlab Industries
• Affiliation: Taji Nelson
• Model: TN--01 Nelson Powered Armor
• Modularity: Yes (Weapons could be swapped out, metals could be changed. Software could be changed. Power Supply could be changed. )
• Production: Semi Unique (2)
• > Edit: Swapped Production to Semi Unique.
• Material:
  
  Mandalorian Iron
• Alusteel
• Ciridium
• Codoan Copper
• Chromium
• Bronzium
  Circuitry

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS

• Classification: Multipurpose Armor
• Weight: Heavy
• Resistances:
  • Energy: High
  • Kinetic: High
  • Lightsabers: High
  • Other: Slugthrowers and Melee Blades: High
    Acid: Low
  • Ion: Low
  • Cold / Heat: High
  • Vacuum: High
  • Hostile Environments: High
  • The Force: No protection

SPECIAL FEATURES

• Heads Up Display
• Comm-Pack
• Built In Life Support
• Integrated Firewall Suite
• Jetpack / Jet boots
• Voice Changer
• Magnet Boots
• Forcefield Generator

STRENGTHS

Weaponized: The armor itself comes with a wide range of acquired weapons systems that have been installed in it.
Modularity: The armor is easily modified by Taji for a wide range of purposes.




WEAKNESSES

Heavy: This armor was not made to be a light suit of armor or be lightweight. Due to the circuitry and metals of the armor this is difficult to move in without good fitness, and experience doing so. As such, it prevents acrobatic maneuvers from being employed without assistance from the servos, and jet tech built into it.

Non-Lethal: All the equipment put into the armor has been rigged to be strictly nonlethal thanks to the modifications done to the armor by Taji.

Ion Vulnerability: The armor has a weakness against both Electromagnetic and Ion based weaponry. These wouldn't just shut down the armor, they would permanently fry it, nessecitating a replacement to the armor.

Slicing: Slicing into the armor and taking control of the armor is indeed possible due to the computer systems integrated into the armor.

Removal of the Power Supply: Removal of the Power Supply would render the armor just a metal trap.

Radiation: Radiation based weapons could be used to cook the person inside the armor alive.

Hard to Repair: Due to the metals and other components inside the armor, it is hard to repair. Replacement of the armor is preferred as it is simpler and easier to do.

Mechu - Deru / Similar Arts: By means of these the Force could be used to take over the armor and turn the person inside into little more than a puppet.

Ripped Apart: Strong enough users of Force Pull / Alter Element Metal could rip the armor apart, as well.



DESCRIPTION

After the humiliation and beat down Taji got after he turned himself in he decided being Archer simply wasn't enough anymore. This was a suit of armor made by Taji afterward in order to give him an advantage. Before he went to work on it he left the space of Darkwire for a time. Traveling the galaxy he acquired the materials needed to make the armor for himself. Upon completion of the armor, he's made the Sentinel Uniform as a replacement for all the tools he used in the past and has combined many of them into it. The armor has the following weapons integrated into it:


Hard Light Weapon MK 1
Shocker Bullets

The armor has been designed by him to be used as a replacement for the Archer Uniform he once wore. It has been made by him to integrate his armor with the technologies that he once had in the original suit.

Interchangeable DC-17 Weapons System (Shoulder Mounted.)
H206 (Shoulder Mounted, other Shoulder.)

It also has 2 of these but limited to non lethal weapons.

The armor also has flares that can be deployed to blind the opponent.

The armor also increases the physical abilities of the wearer to be at the level of some of the strongest species that are humanoid, same with speed and the like when clocked to the maximum. This can only be done for 2 posts a thread.

Edit: Strength of armor reduced when not over clocked.

This also has a set of "shock knuckles" that were installed by Locke and Key Mechanics.

It can release electrical shocks when the armor is being held. The suit also can allow the wearer to survive in a Vacuum or Hostile Environments as well. The Forcefields in the armor serve this purpose.

Edit: Detailed usage of Forcefield which contain breaches and keep user alive in space or hostile environments.

The wrists of the suit also come with Hard Light blades that can be deployed. Another function of the suit is that it has a "backpack" of sorts that can hold up to 250 clips of Shocker Rounds and act as a jetpack on it as well.

Edit: Anmo in backpack halved.

It has a chest laser that can stop a tank. It's got palm blasters as well. The chest laser can only target electronic targets or wild animals. The palm blasters are nonlethal.

Edit: Added the detail you wanted.

Another function of the suit is that it can be "synced" to a ship and allow the ship to be operated easier should it be the size of a Fighter. The suit can also be programmed with various fighting styles as well.

Escrima Sticks are also included.

 

[Taji Nelson]

John Locke Can you move it to the Live Judging?

 

[Visanj T'shkali]

Taji Nelson
Hi, I am Vis, and I will be reviewing this submission.

For starters, you are 8 points over-powered for a mass-produced submission. Your weaknesses do not balance this adequately. I will suggest that you seek to adjust the ratings or add more significant weaknesses to balance this submission, please. When you have done that, tag me and we will continue this review.

Thanks.

 

[Taji Nelson]

Visanj T'shkali I hope the added weaknesses I've given the armor have made it suitable for approval.

 

[Visanj T'shkali]

Taji Nelson Yes, thank you, those will do nicely.

APPROVED

 

[John Locke]

Taji Nelson

Due to a report, this submission has been pulled for further review.

Please bear with me, I will have a review up for you shortly.

 

[John Locke]

Taji Nelson | Visanj T'shkali​

Firstly I noticed that you have modified this submission in the time between it being pulled and my writing review. If you have to do this then please leave a note to the judge in the submission that you have made changes. Please do not just make changes to a submission which is under review in the future.

This is actually a very nice armour you've built, however, it has a few issues that I'll address below.

Permissions​

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Permissions: As one of the owners and writers of Hammurabi, I grant myself permission to use it in this sub.​

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Although you claim to be an owner and writer of Hammurabi the only person who owns the submission is the writer who submitted it. As such you can not grant yourself these permissions but will need to seek them from Jessica Med-Beq if you wish to use the submission. However, the Hammurabi is a limited production submission while your armour is mass-produced. A limited production item can't be used on a mass-produced submission. You'll need to either remove the Hammurabi, or scale back the production of the armour as I will cover at the end of the review.​

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Primary source​

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You have the Upgraded Gloves linked in the primary sources, but I can't see where they're used in the submission, could you please clarify that for me?​

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AI​

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You have linked two AIs in this submission, the Hammurabi (which I have touched on above) and Serenity. Much like the Hammurabi the Serenity is NOT a mass-produced AI but is instead semi-unique. As such it can not be included in a mass-produced suit of armour like this. Again, you'll have to remove the AI or reduce the armour production level if you want to keep the AI.​

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Invisibility​

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You have stated that the suit is able to become invisible.​

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According to the factory rules on restricted materials, which I have quoted below, cloaking devices are limited to semi-unique submissions.​

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Particularly rare or powerful special features may necessitate using a lower level of production (cloaking technology, personal cloaking devices, gemcutters, crystal grav traps, moon dust, equivalent stealth or anti stealth technologies), or rare canon technologies (Hyperwave Inertial Momentum Sustainers, etc) and their equivalents will only be permitted at Semi-Unique production.​

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As such, if you want to keep the invisibility this armour will need to have its production reduced back to semi-unique.​

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Teleportation​

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I have several questions regarding this ability. However, the first question we need to clear up before we go is simply, how? How does the suit teleport? I'd like you to answer this before we go on to look at other elements of this ability.​

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Forcefield generator​

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The link here is broken. Please could you fix it? Also, while you mention it here, the forcefield is not mentioned in strengths or description. What are the capabilities of the forcefield? Does it affect the defences? Or do the resistance ratings include the forcefield's effects?​

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Weaknesses​

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I understand that you added some of these weaknesses to act as balances to the fact that the suit is significantly overpowered. However, the rule is as below.​

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Ratings found on templates should balance. For every increase you should either reduce the production value, reduce another rating or provide balance with a genuine, significant weakness.​

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And some of these weaknesses I don't believe are significant weaknesses.​

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Heavy: This armor was not made to be a light suit of armor or be lightweight. Due to the circuitry and metals of the armor this is difficult to move in without good fitness, and experience doing so. As such, it prevents acrobatic maneuvers from being employed without assistance from the servos, and jet tech built into it.​

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While heavy armour is generally a weakness because it tends to be slower than someone out of armour your description specifically says the following.​

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The armor also increases the physical abilities of the wearer to be at the level of some of the strongest species that are humanoid, same with speed and the like when clocked to the maximum. This can only be done for 2 posts a thread. Typically though the armor can outperform a Wookie in every regard.​

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As you can see, these two statements seem to be contradictory, if the armour can outperform a wookie in every regard then the weakness is negated. Furthermore, I do not see this as a significant weakness since it's not one that can be exploited to the defeat of the wearer.​

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Non-Lethal: All the equipment put into the armor has been rigged to be strictly nonlethal thanks to the modifications done to the armor by Taji.​

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It has a chest laser that can stop a tank. It's got palm blasters as well.​

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If the armour has the ability to stop a tank then that is not a non-lethal attack. The palm blasters as well would be a weapon that has a lethal capability. I would also like you to explain how this is a significant weakness please.​

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Removal of the Power Supply: Removal of the Power Supply would render the armor just a metal trap.​

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How is the Power Supply removed? Is this an easy act, or is it buried inside the armour?​

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Radiation: Radiation based weapons could be used to cook the person inside the armor alive.​

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While this is true, it is also the purpose of radiation weapons. As such, while it is a weakness I'm not sure it represents a significant and true weakness of this armour.​

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Hard to Repair: Due to the metals and other components inside the armor, it is hard to repair. Replacement of the armor is preferred as it is simpler and easier to do.​

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This is not a PvP or significant weakness. While it adds a sense of character and explains the usage of the armour it is not significant enough to qualify to balance a ratings point.​

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Mechu - Deru / Similar Arts: By means of these the Force could be used to take over the armor and turn the person inside into little more than a puppet.​

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Ripped Apart: Strong enough users of Force Pull / Alter Element Metal could rip the armor apart, as well.​

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Both of these weaknesses are just the force being used as intended, and as such don't qualify as significant weaknesses of the armour.​

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Once we have looked through the weaknesses we can go back to address your resistance ratings.​

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Description​

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Upon completion of the armor, he's made the Iron Archer Uniform as a replacement for all the tools he used in the past and has combined many of them into it.​

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I believe that you might have the wrong name here.​

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Please read through my notes and let me have your thoughts.

 

[Taji Nelson]

So it has to lose the AIs as well as the invisibility?

As to the power supply it is in the chest of the armor.

What would you recommend as It really needs the invisibility as well as the teleportation and to stay at mass production?

As to the palm and chest blasters the palm ones shoot non lethal blasts. The chest weapon would only work if it is an automated tank.

John Locke

Furthermore I believed the Force weaknesses valid against the armor. As to the teleportation it is basically a technological clone of Force Teleport. It essentially breaks itself and user apart into particles and then reforms at maximum 50 feet away if that works.

As to the load out being a weakness most people use lethal weapons in the galaxy.

 

[John Locke]

Both the AIs are at productions values lower than Mass-produced s0 can't be used if you want to keep the submission as mass-produced.

So, is it easy to remove it, is the power supply covered by armour or exposed?

Invisibility can't be done via a cloaking device at any production less than semi-unique.

As for the teleportation, what is your canon basis for this ability?

You need to specify that then, say that it only shoots non lethal blasts, or only at automated targets.

 

[Taji Nelson]

The basis for the teleportation is this which Taji has stolen and studied and built a tech variant into the armor. The power supply is right behind the chest blaster of the armor. As you will botice I have stripped the armor of the AI and the invisibility. I have detailed the other edits I made. John Locke

 

[John Locke]

Taji Nelson

You can't take something that is sith alchemized and create a tech version of it, that's not how it works. Sith Alchemy is in effect just magic.

Generally speaking the more powerful the submission becomes, the less of them there should be. The production range of a submission with alchemy or nanotechnology ranges between Unique and Minor. Please use the history and other parts of the submission to flesh out its power and potency. A Factory Judge is allowed to ask for more depth, if they believe that the submission needs a little bit more work to it.

The bracelet is a unique force artefact. and as such can't be translated to tech. Alchemy itself can only be subbed to minor, and that requires a very detailed submission.

 

[Taji Nelson]

So no teleportation. Noted. John Locke In addition to all the changes I made per your wishes I also lowered production to where only 2 exist. 1 of which isn't in the possession of Taji.

 

[John Locke]

Visanj T'shkali | Taji Nelson

That looks much better.

If you could answer my question on the forcefield and remove the notes of edits within the submission.

 

[Taji Nelson]

I would prefer to leave the notes there. All the Forcefield is for is to keep the suit from leaking atmosphere in hostile environments as noted in the edits. John Locke

 

[John Locke]

Taji Nelson

Very well.

APPROVED