Private Sanctuary

[Jend-Ro Quill]

JAKKU
NIGHT​

Romi Jade 's disguised Jedi enclave wasn't far off, a utilities site by all accounts. Quill had opted to meet the visitor out here on the dunes. Aloneness offered silent peace, and he needed that.

The last time he'd seen Elise had been on Kintan, when she was the Grandmaster and he was struggling with the Dark Side. He'd just witnessed Sith cultists butchering civilians and had, in turn, butchered those cultists. She'd urged him to follow the general pattern of the Trial of Recommitment, and he'd done so, grateful to have a way forward.

That had been the better part of five years ago. He'd healed, and now she was the one in need of healing. Apparently she'd spent almost a year as a prisoner of the Sith Empire. Having seen those kinds of scars more than once, Quill felt he needed all this silence, all this solitude, to be clearheaded about what he might feel and see tonight. Hence the desolate landing place between tall dunes.

He squinted up at her ship's landing lights as it settled toward the earth.

 

[Elise]

Elise possessed no sense of time or place. Night, day, a meditation chamber, a cell. She only tell apart dreams from realty because there were images. Everything else, she questioned.

She did not like being moved. A hand on her arm kept her steady, unheard murmurs ineffectively trying to sooth the signs of distress from the ex-grandmaster. They had already told her about her relocation, and it had sounded so reasonable. Until it didn't. She froze at the top of the ship ramp, unwilling to embark another step as the unknown seized her. The world was a sea of black around her. She could see nothing. She could feel nothing. It was a sensation that paralyzed her.

She was near unrecognizable.

The once robust woman was left frail, force dead, and blind. A strip of silk covered her eyes, aging burns peaking out from the edges. She gripped on the arm that guided her, her knuckles white as the ramp angle left her swaying. "No," she whispered, just once, visions of sith masked in jedi robes striking fear in her bones.

The mind games they had played were more wicked than any blow.

Her resistance was ignored, coaxing words unheard as another body came to her left. She felt herself lifted from her elbows. She could only breath erratically, the unknown spiraling her deeper.

"No. No. Please--"

Not wanting to harm her, her handlers were force to release her as they hit sand. She fell to her knees, reason fading to something primal as she groped around to catch her bearings.

A man grimaced at Quill, the sight almost painful. That was once their leader. "As we said, Silver Rest has not been the best place for her... healing." There was a belated remembering of one's manners and a bowing of his head. "Master Quill."

Jend-Ro Quill

 

[Jend-Ro Quill]

Something very much like a sneer crossed Quill's face as he watched the caretakers lift her unprofessionally, guide her unprofessionally, and let her fall into the sand at the bottom of the ramp. "I'll take it from here," he said, trying to bury his contempt for their sloppy work. "You can go."

He knelt in the sand near Elise, but not close enough that she might flinch when he spoke. "Grandmaster, it's Quill. We're alone, or will be soon."

He was glad he'd arranged to meet the ship out here. Nobody else needed to see her like this, and it was a good deal worse than he'd expected. By now she should have been set up in some perfect garden with a blind-aide droid in a place that would never see the Dark Side. Here on Jakku - well, there were other options. Other angles to nurture healing.

"What do you need?"

 

[Elise]

Every retreating footstep earned a flinch, the stimuli burning adrenaline through her veins. There was a wedge of awareness in the back of her mind, a sense of self detached and watching through a lethargic fog. She knew how she looked. She couldn't bring herself to come down, the voice bringing about about a wash of terror that she kept internalized.

Always internalized.

To break was to let them win.

She stayed frozen on that sand, her hands half buried into a dune as she listened for the signs of the person before her. No saber hum. No armor shifting. One breath. One voice. One very confusing set of words.

"Quill?"

Old memories dragged forward-- years ago-- another version of herself. Another chance for a trick she wouldn't fall for.

"Prove it," she uttered, her fingers twisting around the sand. It would make a perfectly acceptable weapon. She no longer hesitated using them.

 

[Jend-Ro Quill]

After a moment's thought, a set of memories trickled into Elise's head: their conversations on and after Kintan, but from Quill's perspective, complete with the authentic feelings that had challenged him. Helplessness, desperation, panic, guilt.

At the same time, Force Light swelled around the pair of them, casting soft golden shadows on the dunes

"Best I can do," he said.

 

[Elise]

Elise's breath caught, the vivid nature of the information he imparted halted her knee jerk rejection. She trusted nothing, not even her own mind, but she was able to come to the slow conclusion that there was no way a sith could fabricated that level of detail about her past. Not unless they got the real Quill in their midsts. It was an irrational jump, but it wasn't implausible. No, not at all.

But that building paranoia capped, her shoulders slowly relaxing. Her body recognized the effects of force light even if her mind could not sense it wrapping around her. Her breathing calmed. Her grip on the sand loosened.

"What desert this? Why am I here?" They had told her, she had not been listening. She was listening now.


Jend-Ro Quill

 

[Jend-Ro Quill]

"Jakku. I'm a teacher at Master Romi Jade's hidden enclave now. You're here because it's a good place to heal, as long as it takes."

Years ago, he'd learned a unique skill from a rogue Forcer, a wild talent called the Wonderworker : the power to take others' injuries on himself. He'd used it to great effect many times. In preparation for Elise's arrival, knowing what scars she carried from her medical files, he'd tested the skill against old injuries and found success.

Now he called on the Force deeply, and went blind.

When Elise's vision returned, it wouldn't be blinding: this was night in the desert. By starlight, she'd see her own scars on Quill, and feel herself free of them.

He'd practiced by spending a few days in a blindfold. This felt unnervingly different. But he clamped down on that and smiled in Elise's general direction.

 

[Elise]

Relief rushed over her, a kink in her spine straightening. It was so poignant it brought stars to her eyes. She exhaled deeply, stretching out her--her breath cut short, the soft light behind the silk not fading.

Her hand shook as she pulled at the cloth, the sky opening up to her. The heat of shock overtook her. She could only gasp rapidly as she gaped.

Even at night, there were colors-- gentle yellows and deep blues that wrapped around the cosmos. They were beautiful, pin pricks of light and life shattering the darkness. Tears fell from her healed ducts, the first since that day in the Obsidian Desert. They had taken so much from her. So felt the loss of self so clearly in that moment. She was never meant to get this back, and yet-

"I- I can see." She uttered, through quick breaths. "Quill, I can see."

"How-" It was in that moment her attention fell to him and his milky, shriveled eyes. The elation soured to horror as she connected the dots, concern wrenching wickly through her.

"What are you doing to yourself?"

 

[Jend-Ro Quill]

"It's fine," he said calmingly, and it was. "I train for this. Once you've found your balance and healed your spirit, I'll let you have your scars back, as many of them as you want. I won't suffer any permanent effects. In fact I think it'll be good for me."

He looked up at the night sky and treasured the feel of the cold dry wind, which substituted well enough for a view of the stars.

"What I'm saying is ask me again in a week, Grandmaster." He got up carefully and started walking toward the distant Jedi enclave in its utilities-site disguise. The Force guided him. He'd trained for this part as well.

Elise

 

[Serya Talith]

.

 

[Elise]

Elise stared at his retreating back, the tears flowing freely.

She didn't deserve this.

She tilted her head back, catch glimpse of the sky as she brought herself back to her feet. She followed numbly after him, taking unaided steps across the sand. Her independence had been another lost thing, but for today it was returned.

This couldn't be real-- she didn't challenge it.

Her eyes remained sky bound as she trailed behind. It would be the first time on file that she had walked willing anywhere. He said nothing, she said nothing. An invisible rope had been extended, and she took it.

The blind lead the broken to the hidden enclave.

 

[Jend-Ro Quill]

Shortly thereafter, Quill's outstretched hand met the pitted wall. By instinct and Force perception, he turned left and found the turbolift door. He felt Elise following, felt that she was still in mental turmoil or dissociation to some degree.

"The enclave is underground - under this utility site. It's secure and private; only a handful of Jedi even know it exists."

He waited to see if she'd enter the turbolift. This felt like coaxing an abused animal a step at a time.

 

[Elise]

Her stomach fell through at the concept of going down.

It was hard for her to identify why, but even now sh-she tried. Sh-She needed... to try- Her thoughts were thick and stuttery, but the spark within her wasn't gone. She fought for a deep breath, then stepped inside.

It took every ounce of will to not slide down into the corner, the part of her that had been watching now a bit more in control. She wanted to push the envelope on what he done for her, but she knew he would be unmovable in his decision. Her fingers clenched at her arms, trying to do him justice by focusing on something else all together.

"Who is here?"

 

[Jend-Ro Quill]

Elise

"A few Jedi visit, but for permanent residents, it's only me and Romi Jade , who runs the place."

The turbolift headed down but it was a good one, with inertial compensators built in; you'd hardly feel it move. When its doors slid open, Quill breathed in the scent and humidity and life-force of the Green Room's planters. He stopped himself from explaining that there were broad clear ways through: she wasn't blind right now.

He stepped out of the turbolift and, with minimal hesitation, leaned on the edge of a planter so he could keep his bearings. He kept quiet, hoping she'd feel the tangible reality of this room's foliage.

 

[Elise]

She griped the turbo lifts rail, suddenly finding the confined, controlled space that much more appealing. She stared out, unable to help the tension that redoubled, her heart pounding in her ears. Romi Jade. Another familiar name.

Another neutral name, no ties to the order that allied with her captors.


It soothed the distrust all the more, a step taken off the lift. Silence, another step taken as she took in the greenery with reserved awe. After a moment she reached out, a bony hand stroking a long, thick leaf.

Unnamed emotions bubbled forward, nearly sending her to her knees. How many jedi would never get the chance to see the night stars again because of her? Too many.

"This isn't right," she whispered, turning to behold the burned man. The depth of her pain awoke in that moment, the lifting fog no longer numbing what she had not yet faced. "Take it back." The burns, the scars, they were a punishment she wasn't done baring. Vision was a gift she did not deserve.



Something in her snapped, reaching for harm where the enviroment would not provide it. She made a groan of guttural pain, clawing at her eyes.

 

[Jend-Ro Quill]

His façade of gentle patience shattered, revealing a deeply concerned man on edge. With Elise self-harming in front of him, he hesitated between three options, all terrible.

1. Sedate her.
2. Give back her scars and her blindness.
3. Flashburn her, sealing away portions of her memory until she was ready to handle them.

There was nobody to ask, no passable buck, no advice to seek, and the Force's inspiration - if any - was drowned out by Elise's turmoil and pain. He went with option number two...partially. "I will," he said. "Stop hurting yourself. Here, I'll let you have it back."

Taking someone else's injuries on himself and the reverse were equally easy, but he almost never did the latter. He'd killed like that. He still had nightmares of becoming some Dark Master who hurt himself and then sent that injury to his enemies. He cast Elise's blindness back to her, and the scarring too, but the scars were less painful this time around. He'd kept some of the deeper damage, hopefully not enough that she'd notice.

 

[Elise]

Elise keeled over, retching noises befalling her as the world went dark. Her nails left her face, her tears ceased the ability to fall. It was horrible- panic inducing- soul shattering to sit blindly on that ground, but she clung to it.

If only she could will the fog back over her. Minds, much to her long-standing displeasure, did not work like that.

"I know what you're thinking-" She rasped, silence descending upon the foliage.

"You're wrong. You don't know who I am anymore, you don't know what I've done. I don't- I can't- " She ached fiercely in that moment, the faces of the dead coming to play.

"Go away."