Private Ruminations on the Past

[Jonyna Si]

TAGS: Lily Decoria
LOTHAL
Lothal Temple​

Jonyna stood outside of the temple entrance, the wind of the lothal plains rushing through her hair.

She'd started reaching out to old contacts. Old friends from the NJO. People she could confirm were still alive. Lily was, once upon a time, a padawan of Val. For that reason alone, she trusted the girl.

She needed to keep up with old friends, lest she fall into the trap of loneliness.

For now, she waited. Waited for the girl she hadn't seen in ages arrive.

Part of her worried Lily wouldn't even remember her name.

 

[Lily Decoria]

Location: Lothal Temple
Outfit: Bokken Jedi
Equipment: Arwr Da
Tag: Jonyna Si

A message had reached Lily while she was on her ship, it was from Jonyna, which caused the Echani to smile. It had been a while since she had last saw the Cathar, probably when Lily had met with some of the Jedi Outcasts when they first formed. Lily had been there to offer support and to show that the High Republic Jedi were always willing to work and cooperate with other Jedi. Something that Lily had firmly believed was a core part of what the Jedi Order should have been. But after the schism, after the division that Lily had seen only fracture deeper, Lily wasn't sure how they would be with Jedi outside the High Republic space now. She prayed that they would still be open and cooperative.

Replying to Jonyna, she mentioned that she would make her to Lothal soon. A couple of jumps later, Lothal was in view from Lily's ship. The Jedi Knight couldn't remember if she had ever come out this way before. It was possible but she had travelled around so far and met so many other Jedi enclaves and groups that things got lost in her mind. Lily was at the early stages of her own rebel group as well.

Landing near the temple, Lily flicked the switches and got the ship to settle. Walking out, Lily stepped out of the ship and headed towards the temple, the cool air and pleasant environment. It was easy to see why the Jedi would make this place home. It was relaxing and from what Lily could tell, far from danger at the moment with was another bonus.

With an easy smile and a wave, Lily greeted Jonyna who was waiting on the steps of the temple. "This place is beautiful, Jonyna. Very serene and a nice climate. Must be great to train here and go for runs. I was getting some really good hike running going on when I was on Naboo." Lily mentioned with a soft laugh as she approached Jonyna.

 

[Jonyna Si]

TAGS: Lily Decoria​

As the ship came down, Jonyna's eyes tracked it. Lily smiled at the mention of her name. She had remembered. The days were starting to blur together for her.

Her memory wasn't what it used to be.

"I never really liked Naboo. Don't tell Corazona von Ascania , but I kinda hate having to deal with nobility." Jonyna joked. "I don't come here too often, but it's nice when I can. How have you been? I can't remember if you're a knight or not yet."

Admittedly, a lot of those knighthoods slipped her by in the dying days of the GA. She missed so many focusing on trying to fix the galaxy's problems.

 

[Lily Decoria]

Location: Lothal Temple
Outfit: Bokken Jedi
Equipment: Arwr Da
Tag: Jonyna Si

Lily nodded her head in understanding, "nobility takes a certain mindsight in understanding and dealing with. My upbringing on Eshan afforded me the skills to handle such conversations and interactions with ease that I have noticed others lack." When asked about making knighthood, Lily nodded her head in affirmation, "I achieved it a while back. became Battle Master for the council on Naboo as well for a bit. Unfortunately, views and decisions took me on a new path so that title is no longer mine."

It had hurt initially when Lily had to step away from the council, part of her wondered if it was even the right decision since she was unsure if she would be any good on her own. And Lily definitely didn't think anyone would want to follow her on the new path that she was going. So, she had adopted the title of bokken Jedi, just roaming the galaxy doing what good she could without an Order and without a faction to follow. It was a strange time for her since Lily had been so regiment and mission focused. Aimlessness was not something that Lily benefitted from.

"Well, it is definitely a good place to come back to every now and then. Tell me, Jonyna, what have you been up to since the Galactic Alliance days?" There was a friendly smile to Lily's lips as she placed her hands behind her.

 

[Jonyna Si]

TAGS: Lily Decoria​

"Oh, I've been all over the place." Jonyna waved off. "Good for you though. Glad to hear you made it. Us girls need to stick together on that front." A pause, as Jonyna finally addressed Lily's question.

"...I've been running around Wild Space, prepping for a counter attack. Hunting Imps, dealing with sith, trying to rebuild a fleet to help us one day take back the core. The High Republic isn't gonna do anything. They sat there during the fall of the GA, they sit now acting like the sith will just leave them alone. I'm trying to prep to finally take them down. Kill the sith lord, and bring back the age of light. I know that sounds...intense, but I'm doing my best to do what I do best. Rebel. What about you? You found a place? I could use someone like you out in Wild Space."

 

[Lily Decoria]

Location: Lothal Temple
Outfit: Bokken Jedi
Equipment: Arwr Da
Tag: Jonyna Si

Lily nodded her head, taking in what Jonyna was saying. She took a seat at the stairs next to her fellow Jedi. Looking out at the plains of Lothal and just enjoying the sight for a moment. "The Galactic Alliance was collapsing long before the High Republic was a larger enough force to help prevent it. As for sitting around and hoping the Sith won't attack... I suppose one could say they adopted more of a Galactic Alliance mentality in that way. The Sith Order rose during the Galactic Alliance's age of peace. We, as Jedi, didn't do enough to fight it. To fight them at the time and now they are the dominant force in the galaxy. With far more allies than the High Republic currently has."

"I don't think sitting idly by and doing nothing should be the course of action they take, but I see the current state of the galaxy. The darkness that seems to engulf us, and it is not difficult to see why the High Republic doesn't want to prod at that hornet's nest." Looking to Jonyna, "I mean, say they went to war with the Sith Order tomorrow, what happens if that war doesn't work in the High Republic's favour? Who do people turn to next as the beacons of hope, light and an end to tyranny?" Lily asked, she didn't expect Jonyna to have an answer but she didn't wish to view the High Republic as incompetent or failures for attempting to stand strong when utterly surrounded by darkness.

Thinking about what she was doing, Lily shrugged, "I am roaming around a little at the moment. Hoping to make an enclave, or base of operations on Ahch-To. It's remote, isolated really but the Force is strong there and feels like a good place to start something. Push for the attack. Calling it the Silver Alliance, keeping it open to anyone who wishes to stand against the Sith. We can't limit ourselves any longer, this isn't just Jedi versus Sith. Things are too widespread and the Jedi need to accept that others want to fight the Sith but they don't necessarily want to follow our ways in doing so."

It had been something that Lily had seen over the years, in her more recent travels and just something she noted in general. Dogma and codes were needed for some in the galaxy, others needed to be able to operate in the grey. "So, we aren't Jedi, we are have to see the grey. Or, one could say, the silver. Not purely light but more light leaning." Lily grinned thinking that it was a cool reasoning behind the name of Silver Alliance. They were Light leaning not grey, nor were they white, something between the two there.

 

[Jonyna Si]

TAGS: Lily Decoria​

Jonyna pouted slightly at the idea.

"There was no age of peace." She said after a bit of silence. "You saw it from the bottom up. I got to see it from the top down. The years after the war with the maw were just a new escalation. The people behind the scenes were prepping for the next fight. We were prepping to fight the sith, but-"

She paused, letting out a sigh.

"We failed to prep for what came instead. I failed. We watched people flee south, and saw Naboo take in those disenfranchised with the whole thing. At the time, we figured they were seeking new fortune elsewhere. Now I see it as them fleeing for greener pastures."

Jonyna looked down, kicking a rock off ahead of her.

"Course, now history is repeating itself. I've been getting refugees and disenfranchised outcasts a plenty these last few months. The Resistance is growing, and the people are fleeing east now. Towards wild space. I don't see a world where the High Republic lasts another few years. The sith are stable as ever, and the jedi are fracturing. You ever stop to think about that? That we're the ones infighting while the ones known for backstabbing are all united? We could do so much more if we came together and put aside our differences. Silver Alliance could do well working with the Resistance."

She was never much of a politician. She hated dealing with corporate speak and backroom deals.

But she wasn't above it.

 

[Lily Decoria]

Location: Lothal Temple
Outfit: Bokken Jedi
Equipment: Arwr Da
Tag: Jonyna Si

"It was declared the age of peace, that was the term used by the higher ups. Whether I believe it was or not is a separate thing." Lily pointed out, "people became disenfranchised with the Galactic Alliance, with the New Jedi Order, after inaction became loss." Lily paused, she didn't enjoy saying it, but it had been true. Failure to win against the Sith Order was one of the biggest Galactic Alliance issues from Lily's perspective. It was definitely one of the biggest issues that the High Republic had. "It wasn't new fortune, it was the hope to find a new way to attack. To win against the Sith. Same with your rebels, the Hidden Path, the Jedi Outcasts, the Farworlds Alliance and what other Jedi based factions are out there."

Resting on her knees, Lily sighed and shrugged.

"We say things are always darkest before the dawn but that takes the agency out of the effort that needs to be done to ensure the dawn happens." Lily stated, "the High Republic has been trying to be that light without support, without the allies that the Sith have been able to benefit from." Tapping her foot on the ground, her mind thought things through. "I can't say how long the High Republic will last, things were in decline with the Galactic Alliance long before the Galactic Empire put the final nail in the coffin."

Hearing the offer, Lily smirked and nodded her head, "I agree, unity is what we need. The Silver Alliance is my vision for that, where all who oppose the Sith may unite and work cooperatively to ensure that." Lily looked over to Jonyna, she offered a smile, "we will help, I will help you, when you need help." Lily knew that Jonyna was pursuing her own dreams of resistance and organising that resistance herself, so she avoided offering a place within the Silver Alliance.

 

[Jonyna Si]

TAGS: Lily Decoria​

Jonyna let out a sigh of her own as she looked out on the sky of Lothal.

"You and I remember the fall of the Alliance very differently. The Royal Naboo Republic I saw were no more interested in fighting the sith as they were helping fight the Empire. I saw them blame us plenty for what happened on Hapes, but turn a blind eye when we went in to help fix what was broken. When I brought a fleet in to help rebuild cities on Iridonia, Hapes, Coruscant. I saw plenty of folks disenfranchised. That much is true. We fought, and we lost. I realized that we weren't going to win after Woostri. That's why I left. The senate was too bogged down in it's own banthashit, the NJO were fracturing, and the GADF was led by a woman too interested in her own profit margins to do anything useful."

Jonyna snarled a little at that last one.

"So I started my own thing. The Wild Space Rebellion, the Resistance, whatever I wanna call it now. I can't be part of your silver alliance. I can't be a part of sometime I don't start myself. I tried that with the NJO. Got plenty of lectures from Kah'lil on what being a 'good jedi' meant."

She paused, her voice faltering.

"I was never a good jedi. A damn good rebel, a warrior, a hero. But a jedi? No. That was my first boyfriend's thing. You'd've loved him. Big nerd, followed the code to a T. Bit of a goober, but always a good heart."

She paused again, eyes drifting to the setting sun.

"...there are times I wish I could go back to before I went in the ice. For all I've accomplished in this time, it feels hollow now. No one knows my name anymore, no one remembers the good I did. I'm just the girl who ran away when things got rough. The girl who couldn't follow orders. The scapegoat everyone points to about the folly of the Alliance. Because I tried to be a good jedi, and look where it got me? The last holdout of the GA."

 

[Lily Decoria]

Location: Lothal Temple
Outfit: Bokken Jedi
Equipment: Arwr Da
Tag: Jonyna Si

"You forget then, they were at the battle of the Galactic Empire's death star, they fought to prevent the empire from growing. We would have been by the Galactic Alliance's side in fighting the Sith, but there was disagreements, issues that were not resolved on both sides." Lily was not a high ranking member during that time but she heard things, saw things as Briana's Padawan. "Don't frame things as if the High Republic do nothing, they fought against the Black Sun, they stand surrounded by enemies on nearly all sides, still trying to stop the Sith from growing. Is it ideal? No. Is it the way that I desire they to be fighting back? Definitely not, but they are doing something. I will never begrudge them that."

Lily chuckled, "ego is a hell of a thing. I suppose people will believe that I started the Silver Alliance because I couldn't get my own way with the Jedi Order within the High Republic... Funny thing is, I wanted to still be part of the High Republic, I wanted to remain close. My friends, people that helped me get to where I was, they were all still there. I just didn't feel comfortable standing by and allowing things to happen the way that the Jedi council were letting things happen."

"Silver Alliance isn't about being the perfect Jedi, or the perfect warrior. It's about standing up and fighting for those who need us to fight for them. Starting something where we work together with senators, military, citizens. Separation of the Jedi has been an ongoing issue since the Galactic Alliance, distancing ourselves only created doubts, suspicions and corruption." Lily mentioned as she leaned forward, resting on her elbows on her knees. "Always interests me what people think I want, or who I will like. The Galactic Alliance's approach to being a Jedi was massively flawed, it demanded perfection in behaviour when one could not be. High Republic's Jedi Order, a bit better but still very inflexible at times, I feel that was a detriment."

Shrugging, "I guess, I see things different. We can't be strict or inflexible right now. Choice and discipline are tough things to do when Sith domination is very much around the corner. Waiting to destroy us." Lily rose to her feet and shifted around to stand in front of Jonyna.

"I think the issue isn't about whether or not you are a good Jedi. It's the ego, you desire to run things your way. You wish to have your name etched forever in the stars, you crave a positive reputation over everything else. That ego, that desire to be remembered forever, that isn't the way to help others. Not even about whether or not that is a Jedi attitude, that isn't the attitude that will ensure others are safe." Lily sighed, "I never seek my name to be remembered, I desire the Silver Alliance to be remembered, sure. Because I want people to know that it is a safe haven. That people exist that want to fight and protect what we believe is right. It is never about me, or wanting to seek glory, it is about stopping the evils in the galaxy."

Looking over to Jonyna, Lily placed her hands on her hips, "you need to fixate less on what people think of you, what you want people to think of you and do things. Fight, rebel, liberate. Don't linger in the past or fixate on what people say now on you. Demonstrate the change, demonstrate the desire to become better. Become better. Our duty isn't to be the greatest or seek titles, our duty as people with the power to change things, is ensuring the lives of those around us are better."

"So, stop lingering on what could have been different with the Galactic Alliance, it is dead and never coming back. Stop hating the Royal Naboo Republic/The High Republic, let them do what they believe is best and demonstrate how you are willing to be there for them as an ally. Stop fixating on what others say about your past and whether your name is remembered. Do something. Be active, push yourself to be this great rebel that you see yourself as."

 

[Jonyna Si]

TAGS: Lily Decoria​

Jonyna stopped, looking at Lily like she was some unknown creature from the far side of the galaxy for a moment.

"...if you're trying to give me a pep talk, you're not doing a very good job." Jonyna let out a scoff, as she looked out on the horizon. "I wouldn't know. I wasn't there for the final battle against the Galactic Empire. Couldn't be. The Alliance didn't want me there, and..."

Her wistful look faltered as she pouted at the thought.

"I couldn't watch another jedi order fall. Last time I saw that, I was three years old. I couldn't bring myself to be there. Ya wanna know why I'm hard on the High Republic? Because I saw the Rebel Alliance do so much more with so much less. We didn't have an organized military, no jedi order, and certainly no chunk of the galaxy to call our own. We barely had individual planets, a handful of companies willing to back us, and maybe a few legends who's stories have been lost to time. You wanna talk to me about ego? Go to Cathar, ask anyone on Ran Dom Kuun about my family."

Jonyna rolled her eyes. She felt like she was arguing back with the NJO again.

"But you've never been there. You don't know our culture, our language, our legends. That's the part Kahlil never got. I'm not a jedi. I'm a Cathar first. And my people have been beaten down time and time again. You wanna know why I'm so obsessed with doing it my way? Because I know it's conversations like this that will happen again and again. People who look at me and think I'm doing this to inflate my own ego. I'm doing this so that one day, my kids, my family and friends, my people, won't have to grow up in fear. You can lecture me all you want, Knight Decoria, but don't psychoanalyze me when you've never talked to me before."

Jonyna let out a harsh, annoyed breath, as she walked into the fields of Lothal. She needed to get to her ship before she got more of a lecture.

"I hope your Silver Alliance goes well. Like I said, I can't be a part of it. And for the record, I'd look up what happened on Caragash. My rebellion has done more to fight the Imperials in the last three weeks than I've seen the High Republic do in the last year."

[Thread Exit]

 

[Lily Decoria]

Location: Lothal Temple
Outfit: Bokken Jedi
Equipment: Arwr Da
Tag: Jonyna Si

"Perhaps not. I never sought to be a leader, especially one giving pep talks. I just wanted to be the best fighter I could be." Lily mused, "leadership is never something that should be sought after from what I have seen." Lily mentioned not really looking in any direction as she thought about it all. Letting the thought weigh heavy in her mind. "I don't see why you couldn't be there to fight, that was ridiculous of the Galactic Alliance, but you were quick to judge the High Republic for something that they were not guilty of. That was all I was attempting to point out. They are far from perfect, I said this, but you were not accurate in your accusations and that needed to be corrected."

Lily understood feelings that the High Republic was corrupt, or feeling that the High Republic was just the Galactic Alliance in a different skin, that was a feeling. Subjective opinion. While she might not see it the same way, there was not going to be an argument that the other person was wrong in that feeling. As long as they didn't misrepresent what happen. Things she had seen, she had been there to support. "I was there when the Kainites attempted to purge the New Jedi Order. Wipe out all the Jedi. Or at least, that is what they claimed happened. But we are not gone, Jonyna, the New Jedi Order had fallen before the Galactic Alliance did. Valery, Kahlil and others moved on to building the Hidden Path. But that failed and then they abandoned the galaxy in pursuit of whatever they are doing now. Presumably raising their children far away from war."

"The Rebel Alliance didn't wipe out the Empire. Imperial remnants existed decades after the battle of Endor. The Rebel Alliance of your era only fought against two Sith Lords. We now have enough Sith Lords in the galaxy that they could be an army, Jonyna. Holding the High Republic to the standards of nine hundred years ago is ridiculous. I wouldn't demand the same actions from the High Republic as the people a hundred years ago took. Too many changes, the situation completely different. The risks vastly different." Lily was surprised how stuck in the past Jonyna was, it was if the other woman refused to realise that the galaxy had moved on, times had changed and they needed to change as well.

Sighing deeply, there was heavy disappointment in Lily's voice, "what do you know of my travels? Where I have been and where I haven't been? What understandings I have of Cathar culture? You act like you alone know all that there is to it, or that you alone prioritise your culture. I am Echani. I do what I must to protect the people of Eshan and I support those who help keep it safe. You claimed you wanted to lead a rebellion, you claimed you wanted to fight the Sith. Now you are saying that all you care about is Cathar. Eshan, the Echani people, I sacrifice so much to ensure that they have the best future. But starting this Silver Alliance, I have to recognise that they must come first. I lead the Silver Alliance not just for the Echani, or future children I might have. I lead the Silver Alliance so your children, you, Cathar, Naboo, Coruscant, Ukatis. A plethora of worlds and families get to live in peace. I fight knowing I might never achieve that for myself, but to ensure that you can."

"Continue the division, the superiority complex Jonyna. That's really going to help in making sure we win in fighting the Sith." Lily called out as the other woman left. A heavy sigh fell from Lily's lips once again, she tried to just have a conversation. It wasn't a lecture in her mind, a spirited debate, perhaps. But she was seeking to understand how Jonyna came to the conclusions, the views that she did. It seemed so different to Lily's views. Corrupted in a way. As if the High Republic, any faction aiming to do good now, they would never be good enough as the Galactic Alliance. Whereas Lily wanted to do so much better than the Galactic Alliance.

Sad, Lily turned to her ship, she had come only because Jonyna asked her to be here. Other worlds needed her help far more.

[Thread Exit]