Private Reflections

[Oceiros Sunstrider]

The smell of the morning dew tickled the epicanthix’s nose as he stood on a porch, looking across the fields of green grass. The wind blew the strands to and fro, cooling Oceiros as he looked across his new home for only the Force knew how long. In every direction there was nothing but open field extending in every direction. It was in these moments of quiet, that the Jedi could find peace and sanctity. It brought back memories of his time before the Jedi, back when he lived a simpler life on Brentall. Those days were gone now, no longer could the epicanthix simply return to the life of a mundane being, he was meant for something greater, destiny had deemed it so.

Exhaling, Oceiros looked back to the door leading inside. The home that he was currently living in could be classified as ramshackle. When he’d arrived holes had been prominent in the roof, flooring had begun rotting away and needed to be replaced, the furniture worn down and near molded. It had taken two days, but in those two days that hutt had become liveable. Inside it held the Jedi’s greatest and most lethal secret. A sith lady.

It had been three days since Bastion, the day that the world seemed to stand still. A momentous day for the New Imperial Order. It marked the day they truly struck back at the Sith, where they fought for what was theirs. It was also the day they showed their true colors, the vile within their hearts. He had to escape, and so he did, saving the Sith in the process.

Oceiros didn’t know if the battle was over or not, of which faction came out victorious. It mattered not. If the Sith won they’d potentially be scouring the galaxy for him and the acolyte he’d spirited away. If the New Imperial Order won it would be the same result, though with perhaps more consequences being levied against the Galactic Alliance.

Head bowing, the rising sun bathed over the Jedi providing its warmth and comfort. Turning towards the door, Oceiros knocked gently before pushing it open to still see the body of Aradia splayed across the bed, her form now covered with fresh linens. Hooked to the woman was a makeshift IV drip.

“Still sleeping I see, I begin to think not even the braying bantha could awaken you.” The jest was made almost solemnly, the Jedi having to force a smile. He was the one who caused this, perhaps not directly but he should've done more to stop the fight. He should've done better. It hurt to know that he had failed. He'd failed to see the truth of the New Imperial Order, he failed to save countless thousands on Brental, now he could barely save one life.

Sitting in the rocking chair at the foot of the bed, Oceiros leaned forward his head coming to rest in his hands. Fingers digging into his scalp as he fought against the typhoon of emotions within his being. The slow and rhythmic creaking of the chair the only sound within the homestead.

Darth Daiara

 

[Darth Daiara]

The subtle creaking of ocean waves washed across her. The sensation was slow, dipping in and out as her return to awareness came and went. Life pumped through her body, his life force fueling the strength that slowly trickled back to her limbs.

She had died. Maybe. It was unclear. Her thoughts were a fog, the comforting haze of unconsciousness leaving her at its own pace. Her heart spiked, the creak of the waves resonating through her more profoundly than all the times before. That wasn't the ocean. That was something besides her. Her eyes flickered opened, instinct driving her to simply look... and see the man, hunched over in a chair.

Comprehension did not follow. Not at first. The man felt familiar, but he cradled his head, hiding his face. She didn't know the room. She didn't know the bed. She didn't understand the wires in her wrist. A splash of cold adrenaline prickled through her. She didn't need to understand the moment to know everything was out of place.

She jolted, trying to pull up in the bed. Her arms shook wildly underneath her, betraying her. She moved to yank out the IV, her first thought being that she was drugged. Drugged and sold... Arch enemy at war. Both were equally as bad. A panicked glance was sent at the IV stand, the girl ordering the force to pick it up and send it crashing his way. Was she strong enough to do that?

There was a window she could fit through.

Oceiros Sunstrider

 

[Oceiros Sunstrider]

Head bowed, eyes closed Oceiros let his mind lul for the first time in days. He had yet to sleep and could feel his body on the verge of giving out. Yet every time Oceiros closed his eyes all he could see was death, destruction, damnation. Everything he was supposed to stand against, everything he’d taken an oath to protect people from. It had all been flipped in a last-minute decision that led to the loss of only the Force knew how many lives. The ache, the pain deep within Oceiros’ chest was like a fresh wound, a scar left on his very being from being present when Kyber Dark was initiated.

Lost in his own ruminations the Jedi almost didn’t hear the startled gasp and movement from his captive? Oceiros didn’t know how to explain what the Sith lady was, he certainly wasn’t holding her hostage, but she probably wouldn’t consider him taking her away from Bastion as protection. Sitting back, reflexes slightly sluggish Oceiros barely managed to redirect the propelled IV stand, the metal pole flying off to the side, plowing into the wall and embedding itself there.

‘By the force I just finished patching that hole.’ The epicanthix thought his cobalt eyes focusing on the panicked woman in the bed. ‘Now what to do with her now that she’s awake? I thought she’d stay asleep a few more days.’

Rising from his seat, hands held forward and up Oceiros took a few steps back from the Sith. “We’re no longer on Bastion, we are n-no longer enemies.” To speak of the Sith not being an enemy was puzzling to the epicanthix, as long as he’d lived he’d seen them as a symbol for everything he hated. Tyranny, genocide, decimation, and yet here he was protecting one, one who’d tried to kill him only a few days prior.

“I’m the one who healed you.” Pointing to the younger woman’s torso, Oceiros motioned for her to look at where her wound had once been. “When I finished the New Imperial Order wished to execute you, and I-I couldn’t let them do that. I took you and ran, we’re far away from Bastion now and the only way either of us will continue to survive is if you work with me!”

“You called me a monster before, but would a monster heal you? Protect you?”

Darth Daiara

 

[Darth Daiara]

"What," she exclaimed, falling in over herself and crumbling off the bed just to get a bit of more distance. His words didn't make sense. This room didn't make sense.

Her being alive didn't make sense.

Aradia grasped at her torso, cold shock bursting through her as she found the hole healed. "But the statue, I had--" Died? Clearly not. Her rambling dissolved out, the man's absorbed and considered for the first time. Could it be so? Could he have healed her? Where were they? Where was her master.

The girl sat in a disoriented mess, half eyeing him warily, half staring at her own hands. She hadn't noticed she had been shaking, the air brisk under the shirt he had taken off his back to cover her.

Her mind said this was all impossible, but reason left her hesitating, staring at the man who had nearly taken her life.

"Why?" She whispered tightly, the tension thick in the air. "Why would you heal me? Why would you help me? We're enemies."

 

[Oceiros Sunstrider]

The acolyte scrambling away was a sight Oceiros hadn’t seen since the initial invasion of Brentaal by the spirits of the nether. The sheer fear and terror that she exuded as she tried to escape, an animal that felt as though they were cornered. Just what had this young girl gone through? What tormented her so?

Moving slightly closer and kneeling to put them both on the same level Oceiros examined the girls arm to ensure that when she hadn’t injured herself by tearing out the IV so quickly. Her question was one that was far from simple to answer. It was obvious that whatever answer the Jedi gave she would find herself skeptical. The acolyte had allowed herself to be consumed in the Us vs Them mentality. It mattered not what Oceiros did for in her eyes he wasn’t a person, he was simply a Jedi, her enemy.

“My master once had a saying.” Oceiros said, offering a gentle smile to the youth. “We are not to hate our enemies but to love them, to try and understand them. To see what they see and perhaps through that better understand and save them from both themselves and their convictions. To pull the wool from over their eyes and show onto them what they’d been blind to. Hate cannot conquer hate, only love can do that.”

“It matters not how we’re born, what side we choose to be on in the wars that plague the galaxy, all we can do as children of the force is try to make the galaxy a better place, even if its one person at a time.”

Darth Daiara

 

[Darth Daiara]

Oh there he went again, spouting crazy talk. It actively made her uncomfortable. Like some witcher was trying to convert her into selling her soul for- for- ... She didn't know what for.

What got him to trash her home planet? I mean like really, what made any of this worth it?

"That's rich coming from you. I-" Her eyes moved rapidly, memories bubbling up through the foggy veil that her near death had caused.

"I felt it. I felt what your friends did," she uttered, the lingering sensation of the betrayals and death sticking against her tongue, even now. A sharp pang hit her, her eyes swirling dark for the barest moment. She swallowed hard, shaking it off. Where was her saber? Where were shoes?

She groped for the wall, trying to pull further back from the jedi that hovered before her. "You don't love anything. You're liars. You-you're using me for something. What," she demanded, her breath rapid and panicked in her chest. How deep of a farce was he really to play? Would he attack her if she tried to leave?

Likely.

 

[Oceiros Sunstrider]

"I felt it. I felt what your friends did,"

Those words hit with all the force of a freighter. It took the breath from Oceiros’ lungs. Hand lowering, his head soon following Oceiros simply sighed. He should’ve known no matter how kind he attempted to be with the acolyte she wouldn’t accept his aid. She was bred to hate, bred to despise him and those like him. It didn’t help that in a way she was right, during the battle he had been allied with the New Imperial Order, but never could he have predicted what was to come.

Closing his eyes, and biting the inside of his lips, Oceiros fought back down those memories and back the tears. Though a single streamed down his cheek. When his eyes opened they were slightly bloodshot, the Jedi having to take a breath before speaking. “At one time I was their ally, I believed that they wanted to change the galaxy, that they would be different from the Sith. In the end the New Imperial Order is just as vile, just as wicked and cruel. It was their actions that made me save you, I couldn’t let you end up like the rest, especially not after what I’d already done.”

Rising to his feet and turning away from the young woman, Oceiros made for the exit to the home. “I’ll be outside when you find yourself comfortable enough to talk, there are a few spare clothes that I was able to pick up. Don’t know if they’ll fit or not.” With that the Epicanthix opened the screen door, a faint creaking could be heard as he stepped out onto the porch.

Heart heavy, Oceiros leaned forward placing his bulk atop the rickety railing of the porch and looked back out at the grasses of Dantooine. The Jedi was trying his best and even then it still failed to help guide someone. How had the Jedi of old managed to do it? How had they shown their foes the truth or gained the trust of others?

Darth Daiara

 

[Darth Daiara]

Aradia was left staring in his wake, the door closing behind him.

A tremble hit her body, her strength fleeing her in a rush. So this was what it felt like to almost die. She pressed a hand into stomach, wincing at the hidden wound. She could feel that the skin had reknit itself, but whatever the jedi had done to save her life, it had not restored her entirely.

Not yet, anyway.

<Master,> she breathed, her eyes squeezing closed as she reached out through the force for Kaalia Pavanos . The effort left her weary, but after days without word, the Sith Lord would finally know her apprentice survived the loss of Bastion.

And she had failed.

Fear bit sharply though her, poignant and overwhelming as the damaged acolyte fought back tears. She was both desperate and ashamed to face her master. The path back home felt long and impossible, but she knew it was what was expected of her next. This trial was not over. Not while she still breathed.

Her arms quaked as she gathered her strength and stood. Every bit of her energy went into putting herself into the new clothing, a fact which unsettled her further. Her gaze kept jumping to the door, braced for the enemy-turned-savior to turn enemy again. All the while she struggled for a solution, deep breaths keeping her grounded in the moment.

She was too weak to run. Without a weapon. Without means. There was nothing she could do to take care of herself. But did not mean there was nothing she could do. She sat panting against the bed, her face pale and clammy. After a moment's reprieve, she looked back to the door... and shuffled her way to it.

The acolyte came out, blanket wrapped around her slender shoulders. She shivered as her butt found its place on the steps, the effort catching in a grunt between her teeth.

"...If you're really all you say you are, then take me home," she finally leveled, looking out at the abandoned field that hid them.

Oceiros Sunstrider

 

[Oceiros Sunstrider]

Though he was outside, Oceiros kept his senses about him. Every passing second the Jedi feared seeing either an Imperial or Sith vessel come from the skies above to wipe both him and the acolyte from existence. Yet here she was, still seeing Oceiros as the foe. “What do I do from here?” Oceiros asked the empty air to no avail. Since the battle of Bastion, Oceiros hadn’t been able to sense the presence of his cousin Arcanus. The individual spurred him into action on Brental, that kept him going on Bastion. The figure that had been there since Oceiros had found his path aligned with that of the light. Gone.

“If you can hear me, I re-” Oceiros started before cutting short at the sound of the door to the home creaking open. The epicanthix didn’t look over his shoulder at the diminutive figure as she came forward, sitting on the stairs beside him. Both looking out at Dantooine’s primary crossing the sky.

"...If you're really all you say you are, then take me home,"

The sentence made Oceiros scoff, rolling his eyes before the sapphire pupils turned to Aradia. “It’s over, Bastion is gone. The Imperials have it now. If I take you back there… We’ll both be dead before we make landfall. I didn’t heal you, pull you from the clutches of death to willingly throw you back to the dogs. You don’t know what they’re capable of, what their hatred for the Sith will drive them to do.”

Biting the inside of his cheek, Oceiros thought back to the moment when the executions had taken place. It was as though a void in the force was created as one by one, Sith were executed. “Those children that attended that academy, they weren’t given quarter. Women bearing children, fathers, families. It mattered not to the Imperials. They burned it all to the ground out of their hatred, and they would do it again.”

Pointing out and to the North, Oceiros’ voice grew stern. “If you truly wish to go see for yourself, the nearest port is about a six hour hike that way. I will not deliver you back into the hands of the Imperials.”

Darth Daiara

 

[Darth Daiara]

Aradia scoffed, the action cut short by a lash of pain through her midsection. She gripped tight to the railing, shaky breaths being used to ease the force through her, a bit of strength encasing her limbs.

"Bastion wasn't my home," she whispered around the breaths. "It was my school. I was sent there to protect my family." From people like you. She squeezed her eyes closed, her failure bringing a lash of shame through her. So it was true then. They were all dead. She hated him so deeply in that moment, and she hated herself for needing him. Her face contorted, her pain unexpressed as she forced herself to carry onwards with her plan.

"My family lives on Dromund Kaas." She opened her eyes, moisture swelling along her lash line. "If you help me get to them, they will buy you safe passage back. I can't walk that far like this, and you- you need my resources to escape." Unless he was lying about what had occurred when she had died.

Which would be another conversation altogether.

"I have the credentials to get you through safely."

Oceiros Sunstrider

 

[Oceiros Sunstrider]

Raising a brow at the mention of the acolyte going to Bastion to protect her family, Oceiros could only wonder what was being held over her head. Did she believe siding with the Sith would keep her family safe? That they’d be offered protection when it was evident Sith would burn their own worlds and civilians to simply spite their enemies. The Sith never truly cared, but she’d been brainwashed to believe they did. That they were the best option for her. Yet, she did it in the name of family. Oceiros could understand, he could even empathize with the sentiment somewhat but what Aradia asked for was simply too much to process all at once.

“Do I look like a fool? You want me to fly you to the heart of Sith space? When I already endangered myself getting us here.” The epicanthix said finally looking down to the young acolyte and seeing the look upon her face, the moisture building up around her eyes. She was still just a kid, she cared for her family, and she’d just lost one of the few places she considered her own, and all those she had come to know at the academy.

Inhaling through his nose and exhaling, Oceiros knew that he couldn’t keep her here forever. That eventually either the Sith or the Imperials would come. Maybe, just maybe if he managed to take her home she could see a different side of life. That he wasn’t a monster, that the Jedi weren’t her or people's enemies at all, that they were their defenders.

“Fine… I’ll take you home, but you have to promise me thats all you want. I do not wish to have to take drastic actions due to a potential betrayal.”

Darth Daiara

 

[Darth Daiara]

"I want nothing more than to go home," she repeated, raising her chin stubbornly at him. There was no lie in that. There was nothing she wanted more than to fulfill her promise and reach her master again. The woman had taken her in and given her more than anyone else ever had.

What was that if not family?

She reached for the railing, heaving herself up. Her close dance with death still left her shaken, spikes of fear and adrenaline pitching through her at each reminder. "I'm not ready to die either, but these regions are safe. If you follow the law," she added under her breath, easing herself down step by step. She did not let the pain interfere. Mind over matter, she wasn't far from home now.

Unfortunately for her, she couldn't subsist off willpower alone. Her limbs shook at the effort, an ashen sheen hitting her cheeks. She gave the jedi an unwilling glance back.

"You're going to need to help me." The words stuck inside her mouth like glue. "I'm only useful alive."

Oceiros Sunstrider

 

[Oceiros Sunstrider]

In spite of knowing he couldn’t truly trust the acolyte, Oceiros knew he had to help her. Would he even truly be a Sunstrider if he left someone in need, would he be able to call himself a Jedi? Stepping forward and reaching out towards the acolyte to steady her on the stairs. “Fine, I will return you to your home. If for no other reason than to see your injuries fully treated.”

Looking over the acolyte, Oceiros wondered just what web he’d managed to get himself tangled in. Trapped behind enemy lines with a Sith that at the first chance or sign of allies could betray him at the drop of a hat. Yet he knew what it meant to want to see one's family again. He’d lost all his known family. He lost them on Panatha, he lost them on Rhen Var, and he lost them on Brentaal. All Oceiros had known was loss. Many times when the lights were out, when there was no one around, he wished he had someone to return to.

“I’ll go retrieve the ship from the city starport, you need to rest till I return with it.” The Jedi offered attempting to move the smaller woman back inside and to the bed. “I never got the chance to ask, but what is your name? If we’re going to be working together I at least want to know your name?”

Darth Daiara

 

[Darth Daiara]

No. No. He would take her with him. She would- she collapsed back into the bed, darkness hitting the edge of her vision as the effort demanded more of her strength than she had.

Whether or not she wanted to depend on him, she had no choice. Her head lulled into the pillow, her bout of consciousness threatening to run dry. How long had she been under his care? Days, he had said. He had had countless chances to end her life and yet here she was, slumping into his arms as he laid her to rest.

A voice inside her head rationalized she could afford this. Her fears screamed at her to not take the chance. She gave a slight hitch, her bloodshot eyes snapping back open.

"No."

The most peculiar pull might be felt by the jedi, her hands twisting tight on his arms as she unwittingly sapped at his strength. Force drain. "I'm coming with you."

 

[Oceiros Sunstrider]

Having successfully laid the weakening Sith down to rest, Oceiros began to turn. The all too familiar lurching sensation in his gut signaling that something had gone wrong. Before the Jedi could even react he felt the hands of Aradia grasping at his forearm, the grip beginning weak but as time went on growing stronger.

Blinking Oceiros suddenly felt woozy, and exhausted. Only then did he realize that the other was sapping his own strength. As color fled the Jedi’s face, color began to crawl back up the acolyte’s cheeks. With a forceful jerk, the epicanthix yanked his arm out of the Sith’s grasp, her nails clawing at his flesh as he gained his freedom.

A fresh sting rose from the now cut flesh, droplets of crimson falling down the Jedi’s arm. Looking down to the wound, feeling some of his reserves depleted, Oceiros locked gazes with the young woman.

“Fine, I’ll take you. But if you do that again I’ll bind you to the ships chair and leave you there till we reach Dromund Kaas.” Reaching to the chair Oceiros picked up a cloak tossing it to Aradia. “Wear that, your clothes won’t protect you from the elements too much.”

Waiting for her to dawn the clothes the Jedi went over everything in his mind once more. Nerves ate at his being, his mind and body wished to leave Aradia in the hovel on her own to eventually be found by the Sith. Oceiros’ heart on the other hand simply wanted to help her.

“Are you able to walk, or will I be carrying you to the spaceport?”

Darth Daiara

 

[Darth Daiara]

That was fine.

He could threaten her, jerk away from her, and give her all the dirty looks he wanted as long as he took her with him. His energy buzzed through her, giving her the strength to keep her eyes open. She could feel the difference, the power radiating through her, pulling hungrily.

"What's happening to me?" She asked no one, the color leaving her cheeks as she sat upright and fumbled to get his cloak on. As far as she was concerned, he had done this to her. She tried to stand but found herself stumbling once again. Just how close had she come to death? She felt like she had been hit by a speeder. Or in this case... five ton statue.

She'd need help walking. His fault, as well.

It was all his fault. Bastion. Her peers. The fact she hand to reach for his support.

"I'm sorry," she lied, weight returning to her eyelid as she tried to walk forward with him. "I don't- I don't feel right." Like a premonition, the moment the words left her mouth, her eyes rolled back and she fainted.

Guess he wouldn't have to worry about any soul sucking on the walk. She was unreasonably light.

 

[Oceiros Sunstrider]

Aradia may not have realized it but she was pushing herself even closer to deaths door with all her actions. Her body needed rest and whether she wanted it to or not, it would have it. She was weak, leagues weaker than she’d been on Bastion. She was harmless as a Nexu kitten to Oceiros as the Jedi watched her stumble forward a few steps towards him. A hand out to catch her, the epicanthix watched as her eyes rolled back and she began to collapse.

Before Aradia could touch the ground she was in the Jedi’s arms, and hoisted upwards. Carried much like how a father would their child. Looking down to the crimson-haired youth the padawan shook his head in disbelief, and disappointment.

“You just won’t learn will you?” Glancing back to the path that led towards the city and spaceport, the Jedi sighed. “It’s gonna be a long trip.”

~ 3 days later ~

Standing in the doorway to the medbay Ocerios looked in at Aradia as she was hooked once more to a bacta drip. She had yet to rouse from her slumber, her state better than when they were on Dantooine, yet still not one where she’d return to being herself just yet.

Since they’d entered hyperspace Oceiros hadn’t left her side for longer than twenty minutes at a time. He kept his full attention on restoring the Sith to youth. There were almost no Jedi remaining in the galaxy that would do such a thing. Even fewer that would be journeying across the galaxy to the heart of the Sith Empire.

“I don’t know if this will change you, but I can only hope that once you’re with your family you’ll see the truth of what I wanted to show you. I never wanted any of this to happen.” Almost as if something had been lodged in his throat it became hard for the Jedi to speak. Pain, and agony from Bastion springing once more to the surface.

“Bastion, you, the academy, none of it. We were there to return the world to the Imperials, not extin-” Oceiros couldn’t find the words to say. Instead was cut off by the faint chirping coming over coms signaling that they were exiting hyperspace.

“You’re almost home” Leaving the medbay the door hissed shut. The Jedi knew what it was like to miss their home. Perhaps once this was all over he'd return to Brentaal?

Taking his seat at the helm, wiping at the twin streams that retreated down his cheeks Oceiros saw as the kaleidoscope of violets and blues peeled away, thin white lines taking the form of stars, and an orange globe down beneath him.

Darth Daiara

 

[Darth Daiara]

Aradia opened her eyes to the calm beep of machines, monitoring her vitals. Clarity washing over her like a splash of water, the girl knowing exactly where she was and what had happened to her.

A tear rolled down her cheek, the loss of her peers as fresh to her now as it had been the day she died. But she wasn't dead, was she? She raised her hand to her face, no longer seeing in doubles. She could feel the life that had been returned to her-- the sense of strength and vitality that told her she would be alright.

She was out of the woods.

She sat up, a hand going to the hole that had been carved through her stomach. The organs tugged and ached, but held firm as she pressed her palm into her flesh. She should be dead.

The thought echoed through her as her bare feet touched ground. The cold metal didn't reach her. She held herself up and took some testing steps forward. Unsteady, but capable. Alive. These words encompassed her as took ginger steps forward. The soles of her feet wobbled with every step, muscles clenching to keep her balanced as the med bay doors hissed open, and she walked out.

She walked onwards, her pallid expression like a ghost as she followed the sounds to the cockpit.

"Are we here?" Came the emotionless utterance from over his shoulders, her eyes on the planet splayed out before them.

She actually didn't know. She had never left her master's home until now.