Private Reality

[Allyson Locke]

//: The Believable Lie //:
//: Coronet City //:
//: Corellia //:
//: Ryv //:

---

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Home. The word hung on the tongue as she contemplated it. There was nothing she was more proud of being than being Corellian. The entirety of her being was based on that pride. She was Allyson Locke, Corellian Jedi Master. Saying the words in her head felt foreign. It didn't feel completely true, something below the surface bubbled when she reiterated her name. Under her breath, she spoke as the shuttle hooked into the landing at the spaceport. I'm Allyson Locke, I am Allyson Locke. It wasn't the first time she had to sit and remind herself. With the amounts of times she had gone undercover - you lost pieces of her to the personas. ​

Every felt as if it was slipping through her fingers. Nothing was permanent enough for her to hold onto. Staring blankly, the woman relieved brief moments of seeing her padawan nearly torn to pieces by rakghouls, then having to carry him roughly dead to the surface. Her mind plagued with visions of the black soul of the Dark Lord, and it all wore on her already weakened psyche. For once, she wanted to make things right, make them good and didn't know how. Eyes peeling away from the window, she caught a glimpse of the man beside her. He stood for everything perfect in this galaxy. He was strong, dependable, and his values were absolute for a Jedi. A bit of the Corellian felt guilty, letting him become stained with her love. She wasn't right for him, she knew it, and she wondered if he did too. Knowing not how to deal with everything, Allyson did what she did best, and that was diving headfirst into work. ​

Her eyes closed as she continued to repeat her name in her head. For the past few months, she had been living as Rae Cooke, a Legionnaire that had gained the favor of the current Lord Inquisitor. A bonus for the Corellian who struggled to find her way into the upper echelons of the Sith Empire's elite. Unlucky for her, they were already on the suspect after the New Imperial Order had split. She had learned from Jorryn, that those that left were high ranking officials within the Empire. They were rebuilding while trying to fend off the invasions. ​

The city line of Corellia came into view, and the girl lit up instantly. She hadn't seen the capital city in years, and the joy that swelled in her chest, seeing that the city was no different poured over. Buried memories of her past bubbled to the surface. Memories of her parents and younger brother, watching the ships with her father as they took off from the port, and dreaming of one day being a pilot in space. Allyson wanted to be one thing in this world, and that was a pilot. Dreams change, though, and Allyson couldn't really remember which dream was hers. So many thoughts echoed in the back of her mind as she tried to organize them, assuming they were just thoughts of excitement. ​

"It feels surreal, you know," A posh Imperial accent flowed from the Corellian's lips as she spoke to her companion for the trip. They both had been so busy leading up to this, Allyson was overjoyed when Ryv was able to step back from the front lines and accompany her home. Upon hearing that Ryv could join her, she was able to separate herself for the time being from her mission. According to records, Rae Cooke was on leave for a short while, and Adriana Fortemps was going to have to pour her own tea and hold her own umbrella for a bit. Thinking about that, Allyson felt a small pang of guilt, did she miss the Echani? Shaking her head softly, she pushed another's thoughts down and focused on gathering her things. Looking at the man, a soft smile spread across her face, "I've missed you so much. I just-" She paused and searched for the words, her head suddenly having a burning sensation echo through every inch. Allyson placed a hand on her temple and groaned softly under her breath. It left as fast as it came, and Allyson exhaled, "I just want to have fun and pretend like we're not soldiers for once." Her accent, returning to the bright Corellian dialect she had always had. ​

 

[Ryv]

A massive city stretched across the horizon, taking up Ryv's full attention as the train sped closer to Coronet. His amber gaze swept from left to right, taking in sleek speeders, weaving in and out of towering structures. The buildings sped by in a blur, the train moving at an astounding speed. Unable to focus beyond their immediate surroundings, the Jedi Knight turned to face Allyson beside him. Months passed since they'd last been together on Coruscant. He wanted to be with her, some time away from the struggles they both faced. Unfortunately, circumstances didn't allow it, their various responsibilities tearing them apart in preparation for the next assault on the Sith Empire. Even away from the front, he felt what confidence he once had in the face of adversity melt away. The strain of leadership heavy on the young man's shoulders, only worsened by the harsh realities of war. He reached down, a hand moving to take her's as his other held tight to the bar above him.

"Careful, Allyson, your accent is slipping," Ryv muttered softly, gently squeezing her hand to offer what help he could. Her troubled state latched onto the bond between them, crawling along the ethereal strings to press upon his spirit. "Surreal? Yeah, I imagine so. We've meant to visit since Unity Day, huh?" he studied her profile, the corner of his lips slipping into a faint frown. "I'm sure you've wanted to come for a lot longer than that, though," the Jedi looking up the length of the train, peering through the crowds as if something of interest awaited his attention. "I'm glad we managed to get away from everything, yeah. The front kinda sucks, but that's probably to be expected with a war, huh?" he tightened his grip on the overhead bar as the train slowed to a stop, jolting a bit at the end. Dozens of people stepped from the central car, disappearing into the station. Ryv moved towards the nearest entrance, a free hand scooping up his bag to sling it over a shoulder.

"Whatcha got in mind for the day? This is my first time on Corellia!" Ryv offered a familiar grin, taking a second to scan their surroundings. "I wanna see what all you Corellians are so proud of," he chuckled as he watched the churning crowd of people. Truth be told, Ryv didn't need much convincing after his first few steps from the train. The buildings reached skyward, appearing to bend inward from his position at their base. Everything smelled cleaner than Coruscant, the sky lacking the grime and muck of pollution. Trees, grass, and other forms of vegetation lined the streets, positioned outside of businesses neatly to garner attention. Ryv found them working, having to tear his attention away from colorful flowers atop tables lined with delicious looking foods. Somehow, the Corellian people managed to breathe life into their cities, something Coruscant failed to replicate every time.

"I read a little brochure on the train that mentioned like, giant gardens and a zoo or something? What's that like? I've never been to a zoo," Ryv swung his hand back and forth, holding tight onto Allyson's. "Do you just get to hang out with animals as they wander around, or are these like museum displays? Educational sorta thing?" his rambling slowed a bit as several sleek speeders passed overhead, shadows following close behind. "Man, this is way different than Coruscant. The buildings are so close together, dirty, and everything is crowded there, but here? Like, everything just smells better and looks nicer," he looked back at Allyson, his smile remaining, even as the piercing touch of reality bore deep into his thoughts. "Unless you've got something cooler in mind? Like I said, you know the place way better than I do. Tourist and all that."

Ryv knew he'd have to prod Allyson about her difficult emotions soon. He experienced them alongside her when he rested at night, his dreams invaded by visions of his missing lover, shrouded in the clutches of Bogan. Her actions moments before, repeating some kinda mantra he couldn't quite make out? Allyson's behavior concerned him. Months behind enemy lines, away from all the things she fought to protect, the Jedi Knight couldn't imagine the stress she faced. At least at the front, he knew who he was, and who the enemy was. Garbed in black, sabers of crimson held high in honor of a dying Empire. It all seemed so simple in comparison, yet Ryv struggled to peer through her veil even now. He missed Allyson, he recognized the touch of her hand on his, but her eyes? They appeared distant to him, looking elsewhere as if he wasn't there. Her smile? There were mornings Ryv couldn't wait to see it the moment he opened his eyes, and now, he barely recognized it.

Allyson Locke ​

 

[Allyson Locke]

//: The Believable Lie //: ​

//: Coronet City //: ​

//: Corellia //: ​

//: Ryv //:​

​

"Oh!" Surprise echoed in her voice as he made her aware of her accent slipping. Something that had been more common than not recently, and she cursed under her breath as she continued the mantra - reminding her that she was free for now. The comfort of having his hand holding hers brought a weight, it anchored her. The Corellian found herself constantly floating helplessly as she lost control more and more with every day, but with him, there was something to hold onto. Everything that was Ryv, she cherished, knowing that her hopes and dreams resided with him. Thinking quietly about the future possibilities started to shatter as other voices ripped and tore at the dream. Different faces replaced them, on planets she didn't remember ever visiting. What was going on? ​

​

The song of his voice brought her back down again, she looked around and took in the planet's landscape again. He was right, Corellia was far different from Coruscant, Allyson had forgotten how different both worlds were. Memories of childhood filled her mind. Each place that Ryv had mentioned she had visited, there were many memories, and Allyson found herself choking at the barrage of memories. She was Allyson Locke. ​

​

"The Zoo is really amazing if it's still like how I remember it - the animals are pretty free-roaming. They take you out in a speeder, and tour through the park." She tilted her head, struggling to pull the memory entirely after seeing it briefly, "I remember there was a picnic area too with food - we could visit there. Especially since you've never been." She walked closer to him as she needed his warmth more than anything. While Corellia had some of her happiest memories, it also harbored her most significant guilt. The loss of her family weighed heavy on her heart, she had run away and escaped the catastrophic event that destroyed the Corellia of the past. ​

​

The Corellia she remembered wasn't this bright, it wasn't so clean. The planet had been recently terraformed, the population halved, culled by Akala. One good thing that had come out of that was that the world was able to be rejuvenated. The pride that the Corellian's had was here on full display. Looking towards Ryv, she nodded. "What Corellians are the proudest of…" it hurt to talk, feeling her chest tighten slightly knowing that this pride was also her guilt, "We're proud of being survivors. No matter what the galaxy throws at us, we're able to survive. You should have seen it - that day and the years following." She stopped herself and cleared her throat. "Wow, can I not be a drag." ​

​

Her bag dropped at her feet, and she turned to face him, hands pulled at his jacket. The crowd around them moved to surround them, she knew it was dangerous to do what she was going to do. They were hunted by Sith Assassins, Bounty hunters, and everyone searching for the Jedi Shadow and Sword of the Jedi for their high bounties. She didn't care, "Ryv. I'm so happy right now." ​

​

The feeling of his jacket in her hands felt familiar, the scent of him conquered her senses as she pulled him closer. His warm breath caressed her face as she brought her lips to his. Logic screamed, saying this was dangerous, and they were in danger, but she was tired of always hiding. For once, she wanted to be free to do what she wanted. Her lips pressed against his, she was tender, loving as one of her hand released the jacket. It brushed against his chin, past his ear, then through the small hairs on the back of his head. Each feeling familiar from the roughness of his stubble to the softness of each strand of jet black hair. ​

​

She wanted her memories of Corellia to be happy; she wanted them filled with him. ​

 

[Ryv]

"I don't get it, dad."

Heavenward promised salvation. Something Ryv hoped to one day know.

"What confuses you. Corin?"

Hellbound promised damnation. Something Ryv hoped to one day defeat.

Everything.​

​

So much confused the young boy. That hadn't changed in the years since. He stared out at a world long to do away with him. Bounty hunters, Sith, other Jedi, and Politicians wanted to see an end to him. Sometimes it ran deep—a dynamic conflict in beliefs, the ideals of light versus the darkness. More often, though, it ran shallow, like a limping stream in the hot summer months. He stood in the way of corruption, so he had to die. He stood for something bigger than him, so he had to die. He wanted a place to call home, so he had to die. He wanted a family one day, so he had to die...

​

"I'm nowhere near as good as you were when you were my age. I can barely feel the touch of the force, let alone control it. I'm hopeless."

"Corin, my son, you must never give up hope. Without hope, we'd live in a lightless galaxy. People need us. We're Jedi. We're their shield, whether they know it or not."

"I don't think I can do it, dad. I'm not strong enough."

​

Soft whispers plucked gently at the back of Ry- no, the back of Corin's mind. He knew these whispers intimately. These whispers promised him a chance to make a difference, to leave behind not a legacy, but a better tomorrow for those who came after him. His father, Vyrin, promised him a chance to do more than what any one man could accomplish. Vyrin pledged to his son the opportunity to become a Jedi, a warrior of light, bringer of justice, a keeper of the peace. Corin loved his father, idealized him as a hero in ways the innocents of the galaxy could never understand. Vyrin wasn't just a Jedi. In Corin's eyes, he stood shoulder to shoulder with giants. Luke Skywalker, Revan, Obi-Wan Kenobi, all legends, all men like his father. The Kiffar, so young, so naive... He saw what his father promised him. He latched onto the greatness, said to run through his veins, hoping to do what no one else could. That hope burned true, the flame supposedly ceaseless, but now it wavered, the kindling dying away, revealing the soft embers struggling to stay alight. Corin clutched onto those embers, holding close, never giving up hope, just as his father taught him. It burned him, the flame he protected hurt more than any other injury he sustained. He was supposed to be the one to change the galaxy. He was Corin Vos. But now? Now he's just Ryv Karis, a pale imitation. An imposter parading around as the one meant to make a difference.

"Hum?" Ryv looked back at Allyson, tilting his head to the side. "Speeder tour seems cool. Maybe they'll let me drive," he watched more speeders pass overhead, the controlled chaos of the skies different from Coruscant. Rather than follow traditional lanes, it almost appeared as if the Corellians flew any which way, carving their own path, masters of their own destiny. He looked back at Allyson, chuckling faintly. "You're not bothering me at all. Survival within itself is a feat worth respecting. Not everyone can do it," his free hand brushed at his forearm, memories of drugs and an ever-present haze only agreeing with the Kiffar's claims. "Not everyone can face what's put in front of them and push on. That's a trait to respect. Something I love about you, Allyson," he smiled, allowing his earlier thoughts to fall away, replaced with the moment once more.

"Live in the moment, Corin. Center yourself. Be one with the present, fear not the future, nor hide within the past."

Softer than even the whispers of his past, Allyson's lips collided with his own. What fear Corin, no, Ryv felt for so long disappeared. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her tight against his chest. His eyes fluttered closed, his father's voice fading away as well. Once the kiss fell away, his hand brushed against hers as it held tight to his father's leather jacket. The Jedi Knight's forehead pressed against hers, his eyes remained closed as he saw her once more, not with his eyes, but through the fingers running through his hair, the warmth of her spirit, and the bond that connected them.

"Here," Ryv slipped out of the jacket, pulling it from his body in a way that did not disturb the closeness of their two bodies. "It'll probably do you some good," he held it out to her, the familiar sight of his past hovering between the two of them. "My mom bought this for my pops the first time they visited Corellia. I figured I'd give it to you whenever we made it out here."

Allyson Locke ​

 

[Allyson Locke]

//: The Believable Lie //:
//: Coronet City //:
//: Corellia //:
//: Ryv //:

You can have it, for saving my life...​

The kiss reminded her of her life within the Alliance, how she came back from the Unknown Region, and her self isolation. She had found connections and life within the Core, love, and friendship. All of that was sparked by the kiss, and the longing she felt previously disappeared for just a moment. His kiss was different, rougher, but still just as passionate. She enjoyed it and wished for it more, but the Corellian knew she couldn’t sit here and just kiss him till she forgot all her problems - it didn’t work like that. Oh, how she wished it did. ​

He pulled away slightly, and she continued to smile at him. What he did next surprised her, the jacket slipped off his frame, and he held it out to her. The confusion was written on her face, she knew the value of the jacket and how Ryv never went anywhere without it. She cautiously reached out and felt the leather between her fingertips as she pulled it back. Eyes watched the exchange, but when she looked up - the world surrounding them faded, and she found herself no longer looking at Ryv or the streets of Corellia. ​

She was on a long distant planet, one that was lost to time and space. The gesture triggered something in her already shattering mind, memories that she had buried deep - knowing that they were full of pain from her youth. The starlight sky was nothing like she had ever seen before; there were no speeders or buildings blocking her view. The memory continued as she stood and watched everything play out just as she had lived it. A shorter woman, dark hair like Ryv’s, but her face different. She wasn’t Coruscanti, and she wasn’t Atresian, but Kiribian. ​

Allyson felt the chill of the evening, and the woman smiled in front of her. Her voice, one that haunted some of her dreams from time to time. The lyrical sound echoed in the mind as she could hear her laugh and how each sound curved around the words she spoke. ​

Not even that hot Corellian blood seems enough for this weather, but that’s alright. ​

The jacket that she still wore to this day was given to her by the Jedi. The first Jedi she had trusted and loved. Allyson felt her eyes blink quickly, trying to force back the memory before it continued, she knew the pain that was coming with the memory. Yet, as much as she fought it, the memory was determined to show itself, make her remember everything. Why now? ​

With the blink of her eyes, the scenery continued to shift and change. She was no longer under the stars but in a metallic tent, outfitted for small but long excursions for the Silver Jedi. The cylinder-like structure was roomier than she had expected when she first entered it. A kitchen appeared in front of her and a cup of tea, the Kiribian woman standing before her, close. Allyson remembered the flirtatious game they played to get them to this point and the brush of the woman’s soft and brief kiss - one that she remembered wanting more than anything that evening. There was so much behind it, with such a short interaction. Her words jumbled in her mind as she shook her head. ​

So with that in mind, would a wet mop like me be enough for a scoundrel like you?
Do you also crave for someone to hold you at night and keep you warm?
Overstressed, prone to nightmares, longing for companionship, I’m guilty of all the above.

Arisa - I do - where are you?
I miss you.
I need you.​

A single tear rolled down her face as she was released from the memory. Quickly, Allyson felt her hand raise and wipe the tear from her eyes, more collected, but she was able to prevent them from falling, ruining the moment between her and Ryv. Clearing her throat, she smiled and wrapped his jacket over her shoulders, the deja vu of the moment was overwhelming. Inhaling deeply, she could smell him, and it eased her mind for just a few more minutes allowing her to come down from the fragmented memory. ​

Her heart hung heavily, she had always loved Arisa, she had wanted to free her from the Jedi bindings. In turn, Arisa taught her the freedom that the Jedi provided and was the reason she had followed the path even after her death - a part of Allyson loved her. Brushing her hair back, Allyson stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Ryv. She needed to feel that anchor, the one that he provided. Her face buried into his chest as she did her best not to cry, today was supposed to be happy, not sad. Hands clenched the fabric of his shirt tightly, and for the small moment, she was able to find her center again. Pulling away slightly, she looked up at him, hoping she was able to put her mask back on. “Thank you! I can’t believe you would even part with it.” Entirely pulling away, the woman turned and struck a pose with the jacket, trying to look sexy like the women in the magazines. ​

“Whatever will you wear to the next event on Coruscant?” Grinning, she laughed, “Don’t tell me you have several of the same jacket.” Pausing, she tilted her head slightly, “Was your mom from Corellia? Tell me about her. Please?” She moved closer and grabbed his hand and arm, seeking its comfort. It was easier to hear about someone else than to experience the memories. ​